บท 146: 146. Cipherists
"It killed White Diamond," said Steven, crossing his arms. "This thing... This creature... It was like a cat... But much worse and much more terrifying.It calls himself Hellcat-Spangled Spazura. His homeworld is called Arctic Mon-Kes and he rules the Streykat Empire... It belongs in the 4th World, where the Gem Homeworld was created by creatures that call themselves New Gods.He threatens to destroy my world... so I'm here to avenge it."
"Is it my turn?" asked Star, looking left and right. "Okay! It's my turn!*A-Ahem...*I am a faaaairy princess from Mewnie. *sneers psychotically*... After losing all of magic in my world, having my world fused with my boyfriend's, and losing my royal status, I became a heroine of New Mewnie. Then...*Voice goes serious*He came.He threatened to destroy our world until I find him the last living Fortisites. So... I went to this world to find them. Turns out you're one of them.Oh... and... as an example... He killed my boyfriend."
"How?" asked Lord.
"Threw him off a cliff," said Star.
"Did you hear the thud... or-?" asked Zed, as Lei kneed his back.
"So... yeah... I'm here to try to find him... Turns out the last Fortisite isn't a bad guy."
"I'd like to add to my story a bit," said Steven. "I kinda went here to destroy you, too. No offense. You seem like a nice guy upon closer inspection."
"It's cool," smiled Lord. "You guys are pretty alright, too. So... You want me to help save your worlds?"
"Yeah," smiled Steven.
"Okay... How?" asked Van. "We literally have no spaceships. We're like... really primitive beings."
"H-yellow!" smiled Rick, segueing in the room on a segue.
"There's your answer," said Lei.
"Why do you have a segue?" asked Yang.
"Why do you don't? Haters gotta hate! Hahaha!" laughed Rick.
"I could magic us there," said Zed.
"Nope!" yelled Rick. "No magic, Zed. That's an order."
"That's what I'm talking about! Sticking to the cold hard and cruel reality, baby!" laughed Ryle, as he high-fived Rick.
Zed shakes his head in annoyance.
"And no interdimensional scissors, either! Those things are banned in several dimensions!"
"Aw..." said Star with a saddened expression.
"But Rick," said Morty. "I heard that the Interdimensional Scissors are the one's that are legal and the Portal Gun is the one that's banned-..."
Rick grabs Morty's mouth. "Shush, Morty...*turns to the group.*The boy has no idea what he's talking about! Believe me! Portal Gun is legal! Say it with me!Portal Gun is legal.Say it!"
"Portal Gun is legal." Everyone else joined in with rolling eyes.
"Wubba lubba dub-dub, ding dongs!" yelled Rick.
(Listen to the song man... or woman... or... just dude... Yeah... Yeah yeah yeah. Listen to the song, dude. Ree.)
"Will you stop playing that shit?" asked Celine in annoyance.
Zed turns the radio off by snapping his fingers.
"I liked it," smiled Star. "Really! It... captures the... finesse!"
Rick drives the ship silently into space.
"Uh... Rick?" asked Lord. "Why is there a large triangular ship over there?"
"Followers of Spazura," said Rick, as he turns the ship away from the large triangular spinning ship. It is large, slow, and beaming with twilight from each triangle of its pyramid form. It is split into three parts that slowly shift like a Rubik's cube.
"Already?!" asked Van. "Where the heck are we!?"
"We've entered the 4th World. It's a realm where we enter the 4th Dimension. Low-Class Demons and Angels live here, also New Gods. Some surviving Old Gods live here, too. Like the Asgardians, for example, but their world, like Lord's, was destroyed by an interdimensional warlord." Rick burps as he drinks from his flask. "I should watch out for any nearby Time Cops."
"That's a lot to take in," said Steven. "So... A bunch of aliens lives around here?"
"4th-Dimensional aliens, Universe," said Rick. "They exist outside of time. There are beings from the 5th dimension here, like Darkseid or Golb."
"Hey! Look! That pyramid ship is flashing its lights on us!" smiled Star. "What does that mean?"
"Hold on," said Rick, as he stepped on the accelerator.
*SHOO*
The triangular ship blasted its rockets, following Rick's ship.
"Oh, Geez! Rick!? What did you do this time!?" asked Morty, rather angrily.
"I didn't do anything this time, Morty," said Rick. "Assuming that I did, they should've been dead by now. The 4th Dimension is a fucking warzone, Morty. Everyone just attacks anyone who steps in their turf! Like Clint Eastwood in that one movie or Shrek."
Rick blasted lasers at the ship, but its forcefields blocked the attacks.
*PEW PEW PEW*
*BOOM*
A large harpoon is blasted from that triangular ship.
*CLANG*
"What do we do!?" asked Morty.
"I don't know! Can any of you breathe in space?" asked Rick.
"Lord!" yelled Zed.
"No, I can't!" yelled Lord.
"Maybe if you believe you can, you will," said Zed.
Lord's eyes widen. "Okay! Let's go!"
Later...
*GASP... GAG... CHOKE!!! GAG!!!*
Lord, in space, couldn't breathe, and fucking dies for a second, just floating there.
"LORD!!!" sobbed Lei.
Rick's ship is hurtled inside the triangular ship.
"Nice," said everyone else.
"Bring the stupid one, too," said a voice in the ship, as they scoop Lord into the ship with a beam of light.
In prison...
Lord, Lei, Zed, Yang, Celine, Ryle, Van, Rick, Morty, Steven, Motorhead, and Star are all held in different cells from left to right.
An elite Gromflomite walks in... Karbopulous Karl.
"Oh, Goddamnit..." said Rick, rolling his eyes. "It's Karl."
"Hello, Rick," he smiled. "Ngeheheh..."
"You know this guy!?" asked Lord.
"He's one of the trillions of people who want me dead," said Rick. "I destroyed his village's men and sold their women and children because they tried to crucify me. No, wait! He's a Gromflomite! Yep! Never mind all that I said. I never did that."
"What did you do?" asked Lei.
"Destroyed a version of his Galactic Federation," said Rick.
"Rick!" yelled Morty. "What the hell!? Mom and Space Mom had a deal with you! They said that you can't battle the Galactic Federation anymore!"
"Yeah? Well, they owe me their lives because I created them, Mooorty..." he said sarcastically.
"GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!" yelled Lord, slamming the walls.
"What's going on?" asked Zed.
"Lord has severe claustrophobia," said Lei.
Lord blasted heat vision on the forcefield before him.
"What does Claustrophobia mean?" asked Steven.
"He's afraid of Santa Claus?" asked Star.
"Ho, ho, ho!" laughed Zed.
"Will you idiots shut up!?" asked Celine, who is trying to break herself free by slowly using her long-ranged Stand to reach the keypad that locks her inside.
"AEROSMITH!!!" she yelled.
*RATATATATA*
*BOOM*
Celine slides out of her cell and blasts at Karl, who manifests a forcefield around him that blocked her bullets.
"Uh... Sir? I forgot to tell you that one of them is a long-ranged Stand-User?" asked Karl.
"Damn it, Karl!" yelled a voice. "Just get those idiots back in their cells."
"Uh... sir?" asked Karl, looking around. "They're all gone."
The twelve run into the hallway.
"Just keep following me, nerds!" yelled Rick.
Several Gromflomites blast their guns at them as Lord uses his Steel Ball to blast holes into their chests. Lei used her Water Bubbles to drown most of them.
A group of Shamoshians appears before them as well.
"Hey! You just won twelve million dollars! Take your cash price, now!" he smiled.
"Ooh!" smiled Lord, reaching for the man's hand, who offers a handshake.
Zed uses magic to pop the man's head off and turn his head inside out. His inner membrane and muscles are now showing as he screams in utter horror. Zed then warps reality as bugs start eating his head, eating his flesh bit by bit.
"Oy!" yelled Lord.
"Those guys are scammers, Lord!" yelled Zed. "I told you so many times to never fall for that again!"
The group faces another group of Gromflomites as Yang blasts one of his capsules into them and melts their bodies with the virus. Zed makes a forcefield around them to avoid getting Yang's virus. The Gromflomites scream horrifically as they body melts with green blood and their organs mesh together into one single blob. Grotesque puss sprays out of their bodies as well.
About thirty more Gromflomites follow after them. They reach the end of the gateway as Yang blasts another capsule and melts them. Van blasts the keyboard that kept the gate open as the door slams shut. They began coughing and screaming in pain.
"You guys sure do kill a lot," said Steven.
"I'm surprised that you're okay with this," said Rick.
"I'm 21 and I've experienced enough trauma to be okay with this at this point. Also, my Dad was killed by Spazura, so... I'm good," smiled Steven.
"Meanwhile, I lost Marco," smiled Star. "And my Dad as well."
"Nobody asked you, Sailor Moon," said Rick.
Star warps his face inside out.
"RAUGH!!!" yelled Rick.
Star warps it back to normal.
"JESUS!!!" yelled Rick, who is still running.
They face another crowd of Gromflomites.
"Go-Go Sanchez Asteroid Belt," said Rick.
"EVERYONE DUCK!!!" yelled Morty, as everyone did so. Tiny rotating magnets began revolving around Rick's hips as they crushed the heads of several soldiers.
They continue running.
Another group of Gromflomites appears.
Morty grabs one of their guns and blasters as he shot at five people with one bullet.
"Great job, Morty," smiled Rick.
Morty sneered with a rather suave look. Morty flipped his hair and brushed it backward.
"SPACE BAZOOKA!" yelled Celine, as Lord flew forward and tanked it.
*dunk*
*BOOM*
Celine blasted the Gromflomite's head off with a small bomb.
The gate before them begins to close as Steven throws his shield at the gate, stopping it from closing. Several soldiers enter from behind them.
"CHEETO CHEETAH CHAMPION!!!" yelled Star, as she threw a bag of Cheetohs that she blasted with her wand on the ground which transforms into a large Cheetah that mauls the Gromflomites behind them.
"Aw!" yelled Yang. "I was gonna save that for later!"
Star warps another one from her hands.
"Thanks!" smiled Yang.
Each of these Gromflomites has black uniforms with a single white pattern scribbled at the center of their uniforms...
"Damned Cipherists!" yelled Rick, as the group entered the main deck. The main deck is filled with several gadgetries so advanced that the buttons are made of crystals and the levers are made of transparent chimes. The walls, ceilings, and floors were made of black metallic stone. Before them is a large view of the Jotun Galaxy
"Cipherists?" asked Steven.
"Loyal to their god who is an interdimensional demon," Rick replied. "God, that guy's a prick."
"Why is Spazura connected to all of this?" asked Lei.
"Spazura is that guy's son," replied Rick.
"What is he? Some kind of Space Messiah?" asked Zed. "Did they have time for Space Last Supper and Space Ash Wednesday?"
"No," said Rick, rolling his eyes. "Obviously... He's the Space Antichrist, Zeed."
"Rick Sanchez," said a deep voice, as he walked into the large room. The man wore a black armored suit with a red cape. He has a robotic head in the shape of a rectangle with a triangular pyramid on his head. He has a single eye on each side of the rectangle, which shifts to the next every five seconds.
"Oh, great!" yelled Rick, rolling his eyes. "It's General Anthrax."
"Like the poison?" asked Morty.
"Like the band, Morty. Everyone in the D4C Universes and the Fortisite and Streykat Empires is named after songs and bands at this point," said Rick. "What the hell do you want, Anthrax?"
"I want what is rightfully mine, Rick Sanchez," he said. "My fucking Fortisite Drill!"
"Jesus Christ," said Motorhead in disgust.
"Your what!?" asked Lei.
He raises his hand as they all get Force-Choked.
"What did you do!?" asked Morty.
"I have no idea what he's talking-! *choke*" Rick's neck gets tighter. "I may have chopped off his Fortisite Drill."
"What does that mean!?" asked Steven.
"He chopped off what you humans and Fortisites call a penis," replied Motorhead.
Rick takes out his portal gun.
"OH MY GOD!!!" yelled Anthrax in horror.
"I THOUGHT THAT WAS A GODDAMNED COINCIDENCE!!!" yelled Motorhead.
"What?" asked Morty.
"Don't tell me..." whispered Ryle.
"YOUR PORTAL GUN IS MY DRILL!?" he asked, yelling in anger. "I remember it exactly... The shape... The size! It's ins and outs!
I remember playing with it a year ago already..."
"Ugh!" yelled everyone else.
"THIS WHOLE TIME I WAS TRAVELLING USING A PENIS!?" asked Morty. "THIS IS WHY IT'S ILLEGAL!?"
"Why are you surprised Morty!?" asked Rick. "Fortisite Bio-Droid Drills can shift reality and break interdimensional walls. If anything, I'm the real victim here for being forced by internal nature to carry this thing around!"
He choked them harder.
"RAUGH!!!" roared Anthrax. "With my Spin, I shall use my power to tear each of your penises and vaginas!!!"
"HEAVEN'S DOOR!!!" yelled Ryle, as Anthrax's skin begins to peel off. He wrote there, "I have a penis."
Anthrax gasps in relief. "Oh, my God... YES!!! Now... to kill you!"
"What!?" asked everyone else.
"Are you shitting me!? I am a God-forsaken follower of the Space Antichrist! And you're a holder of a Fortisite refugee! That's my literal job, asshole!"
"I can't kill Weeb Town."
"WHAT!?" asked Anthrax, as he drops everyone. "WHY CAN'T I-!? Guards... KILL THEM!!!"
"I can't do anything or have anyone do anything to Weeb Town."
"NO!!!" yelled Anthrax. "I CAN'T SAY ANYTHING... NO!!!"
Ryle sighs. "Geez... Honestly..."
"I can't do anything."
He enters static as he becomes completely motionless.
"Alright... The ship should be somewhere at the port," said Rick. "Follow me."
They all leave the area as Rick's spaceship flies away.
*BANG*
*BOOM*
Van unnecessarily shot Anthrax in the head with his Stand, blowing him up.
"I heard that this ship runs on dark matter," said Steven. "That's pretty cool."
"Thanks!" smiled Rick.
Rick presses a button next to his steering wheel.
Meanwhile...
"Happy birthday, to you! Happy birthday, to you! Happy birthday, Happy birthday... Happy birthday to you!" sang a group of Gromflomites to their friend, Bobopulous Bob.
"Wow... Thanks, guys!" he cried. "Thank you all that everyone on the ship brought their friends and families just for my birthday! I mean... It's my last day of work, after all."
"Sure thing, pal! Anything for you!"
"I would like to make a toast, for everyone who came-!"
*BOOM*
The spaceship explodes, killing literally everything and everyone inside... Except for...
In an escape pod, Karl cheers for himself. "KARBOPULOUS KARL, BABY!!!" as he listened to fart noises in his earphones.
Bodies begin floating around with green blood and insect organs everywhere. It was so brutal and gruesome that I used literally figuratively.
"Oh, my God! You have Ryan Cayabyab in this ship!" yelled Ryle.
"Classics, baby!" laughed Rick.
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