บท 138: 138. Amogus
"There are aliens? They're real?" asked Ryle.
"Yes," said Lei.
"Like... Actual living and breathing aliens?" asked Ryle.
"Yes," said Lei. "Now, we've found the Holy Chalice, which is in the base you are in now. They're finding it, so they'd likely invade San Diego for it. What I need all of you to do is to stand as the last line of defense against the aliens."
"What about Miguel and the Crusaders!?" asked Zed.
"Off-World," said Lei. "Now, I need you all to stand ground and stay safe. Make sure that the Holy Chalice isn't touched by whoever comes near it.Bye."
The screen turns off to static as Lei left.
The Weebs look at each other.
"Wanna play Among us?" asked Zed.
"HELL YA!!!" yelled everyone else.
"I told you... I was at electrical!" yelled Yang, walking in the room while talking to Zed. "You weren't listening."
"Everyone knows at least four people should be at electrical... No, wait... That's incredibly stupid since there could be two imposters. Never mind," said Zed.
"Oy," said Ryle, walking into the scene while drawing in his Manga. "Both of your shut the hell up. I'm trying to draw my Manga for tomorrow's deadline."
"Okay! Listen up, dumbasses!" yelled Celine, walking in the room. "We're trying to make a healthy environment for our base so that Miguel wouldn't have us fired. So! What we should do is finally add Human Resources in the picture."
Van Hol Horse is shown eating a pizza on the couch.
Zed is shown talking to Yang in the corner.
The four aren't listening to Celine.
"Guys!?" asked Celine. "God... this group is still toxic even after Jedan left..."
"You know that Jed's dead, right?" asked Ryle.
"He's a Bound! It's fine! Also, Stephen left this group, so maybe we wouldn't need human resources after all!" smiled Celine.
Everyone still didn't listen.
"*sigh*... Van?" asked Celine.
"Yep?" asked Van.
"Could you please watch out for any alien activities around the Planet's atmosphere?" asked Celine.
"Sure," said Van, still eating the pizza and not moving an inch.
"IF YOU BOYS DON'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT NOW-!!!" yelled Celine.
"You'd what?" asked Zed, sighing and standing up.
Celine gritted her teeth.
"BASTARD!!!" she yelled, as an explosion of toy-sized airplanes emerged from her body. These airplanes prepared their guns and pointed them at the group. The planes shrunk as the bullets shot into the side of their temples, causing small dotted wounds on their heads.
"GAH!!!" yelled the four.
"MUSH!!! MUSH, YA WANKERS!!!" yelled Celine.
Everyone got back to work. Van checked the atmosphere for aliens. Yang checked any heat signatures that may blink of the charts that are hotter than nuclear factories. Ryle checked the oceans. Zed watched over the Holy Chalice and the entirety of the Philippines.
That night... while working overtime...
"Hahahaha!" laughed Zed, as he magically warped ants on the desk into pennies with legs. "Stupid bugs... Can't believe Miguel is afraid of you."
Zed watched the Holy Chalice, which is inside a large metallic box filled with cameras on every side.
Yang watched some anime lolis dance around on the beach in swimsuits while drinking soda.
Suddenly, Zed warps the phone into a brick with eyes all over.
"GAH!!! GOD!!!" yelled Yang. "I have Trypophobia, you jackass!"
Yang grabs Zed's face and bashes it on the table.
"RAUGH!!!" yelled Yang.
Zed sneers as his Stand's head was worn like a helmet. The Stand's face resembles a power ranger's face and its body is silver.
"How'd you like that, bitch!?" asked Yang. Yang realizes that Zed's completely fine.
"RAUGH!!!" yelled Yang, blasting his fist into Zed's chest, but Zed once more blocks the attack.
"GAH!!!" yelled Yang, as his fist bled.
"Chill, dude. It was just a friggin' prank, bro!" smiled Zed.
"PURPLE HAZE!!!" yelled Yang, as his Stand is released.
Purple Haze is a purple Stand with white checkered patterns all over its body. It has a vicious mad dog face with a braced mouth. It also has a metallic Roman helmet, spikes on its back, and a cape.
"WHOA!!!" yelled Ryle and Van.
"Both of you calm down!" yelled Van.
"Guys!?" asked Ryle, releasing Heaven's Door, a small little ghost guy with a white body and golden stripes holding a pen.
The two looked at each other in annoyance.
"Tch-!" muttered the two of them as they looked away from each other.
Suddenly...
the lights went out...
All of their Stands were let out.
"Guys!?" asked Celine. "Did the lights just go out?"
*PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW*
Each of the Grimm guards is killed by some sort of light blasts coming from an unknown source.
*snap*
*PEW PEW PEW*
Celine lets out Aerosmith as Aerosmith observes the carbon dioxide in the area through a radar.
"Guys... A bunch of dudes just killed all of the guards... I don't see any CO2 levels appearing anywhere," said Celine.
Zed touches around and managed to grab the penholder on his desk.
Zed warps out a flashlight from a pen. He took about four more pens from the desk's pen holder, turned them into flashlights, and gave a flashlight each.
"What about me?" asked Celine.
"Oh..." said Zed, as he grabbed another pen, turned it into a flashlight, and gave it to Celine.
"Wait..." said Zed. "But... I already gave four flashlights... Why are there six of-?"
"GAH!!!" yelled everyone, seeing that there are two Celines.
"Guys..." said Zed. "There is an imposter among us."
(you can listen to this while reading or loop it idc)
(Song by Jared Nathaniel Emerson-Johnson, Remix by Leonz; From the hit game Among Us)
"Okay!" said Zed, putting his fingers on the side of his temple. "We have to be smart about which of them we kill."
"Can't you just read my mind?" asked the first Celine.
"But that wouldn't be fun, now, would it?" asked Zed. "Pop quiz! What's Celine's favorite drink?"
"Wine," said the first Celine, who is obviously the real Celine.
"Correct!" smiled Zed. "Pretty sus, second Celine."
"What if she's reading your mind, Zed?" asked the second Celine.
"GAH!!!" yelled Zed. Zed blanks his thoughts while his finger touches his right temple. "You cannot enter me, feeble alien! I am the wizard... ZED!!!"
"I am not reading your mind!" yelled the first Celine. "You should know that! You can sense brain waves!"
"Pretty sus, second Celine," said Zed.
Yang prepares his Purple Haze to strike the second Celine.
"Oh! Boohoo! Jedan's dead!" sobbed the second Celine.
"AHA!!!" yelled Zed, pointing to the first Celine. "She sobs for her ex!"
"But the real Celine doesn't have feelings," said the first Celine.
"That is correct!" yelled Zed, pointing to the second.
"HA!!! She used Celine in 'third person'," said the second Celine.
"That is also correct!" yelled Zed, pointing to the first.
"Who do I kill?" asked Yang. "I kinda wanna kill both..."
"OI!!!" yelled the first Celine.
"Well... You scream at me all the time and-..." explained Yang as he droned on for a while.
"Silence, you Italian-Chinese man!" yelled Zed. "I've figured it out! I, Jonathan Calamansi, think that it's the second one!"
"Okay!" yelled Yang, as Purple Haze tried to punch Celine.
"TO KILL!!! KILL THE SECOND ONE!!!" yelled Zed.
"But I'm your boss!" yelled the second Celine. "I'll give you a promotion!"
"I'll give you a promotion and a raise!" yelled the first Celine.
"I'll give you all of that, including a baked muffin for tomorrow!" yelled the second Celine.
"I'll get our boss to do all that while also make her bring back Taco Tuesday!" yelled Celine.
Yang is still numbering the different ways of killing the Celines. "Hanging, strangling, decapitating-..."
"KILL THE FIRST ONE!!!" yelled Zed.
"Oh, right!" smiled Celine. "AEROSMITH!!!"
*BANG BANG BANG*
*SPLAT SPLAT*
Purple Haze stops its punch midway as the second Celine suffers bullet holes.
"RYLE!!! VAN!!! WHAT THE HELL, GUYS!?" asked Celine.
Ryle is drawing the whole event for the next saga of his Manga. Meanwhile, Van got bored and started playing Raid Shadow Legends.
"Your fault for being a dummy and not showing your Stand the whole time," sighed Ryle.
The second Celine transforms into a strange octopus monster.
The creature sees Zed's screen and decides to transform into the Imposter from Among Us.
"Oh... dear... God..." said Zed. "IT'S THE IMPOSTER!!! RUN!!!"
"PURPLE HAZE!!!" yelled Yang, as Purple Haze blasts its fist into the monster. One of the three bulbs in its hands is blasted into the octopus's face as the virus begins melting the creature's flesh from the inside out, but the creature manages to cure itself and regenerate its fallen melted parts.
The team gagged from the smell of rotting flesh.
"What the hell!?" asked Yang, as he backed away.
"The Imposter" hops toward Yang as Celine blasts at it with her airplanes.
"AEROSMITH!!!" yelled Celine. "VOLA VOLA VOLA VOLA VOLA!!! VOLARE VIA!!!"
*bang bang bang bang bang bang*
Celine shoots several bombs at the creature, but it just kept on regenerating.
Zed screams like a girl as the creature roars at him.
Zed whispers Latin phrases and blasts an energy ray at the creature, who dodges.
"Wizard..." growled the creature.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" yelled Zed and Yang in a girlish scream.
*BANG*
*SPLAT*
The creature is paralyzed by Van's sniper gun, his Stand, Shell Shocked.
"First Bullet launched at the target: Succes," whispered Van. "Second Bullet preparing for launch..."
*click click*
"SHELL SHOCKED: SECOND BULLET!!!" yelled Van, as he blasted his second bullet toward the enemies' weak spot, which is its eye.
*SPLAT*
It is blinded for a moment.
"Someone do something!" yelled Zed.
Celine sighs. "Bwisit Talaga... AEROSMITH!!!"
One plane emerges as the creature follows the sound.
"Zed. Open a portal to a place where this thing can't return," said Celine.
Zed whispers Latin places as the plane leads the creature down into a volcano.
"RAUGH!!!" yelled the creature.
"EJECTED!!!" yelled Zed.
They all pant in relief.
"What!?" asked Celine.
The lights turn back on as everyone cheers.
"Wait... Guys?" asked Van. "Something just entered the atmosphere."
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