บท 43: Chapter 15 - Why do I have to hide from your grandma? (1)
When you're standing there in your underwear
And my T-shirt from the night before
With your messed up hair
And your feet still bare
Would you mind closing the bedroom door
— DNCE, Toothbrush
T Y L E R
"Am I allowed to go home now?" I put both hands on my hips and looked at Mario. I should be home, talking to Autumn, not standing in front of a hotel room, guarding the door for two hours.
He waved his hand. "Go."
He didn't need to tell me twice as I rushed to the set of the elevator at the end of the hallway and pressed the call button.
It was around ten o'clock when I finally got home. The elevator took longer than usual, no matter how many times I pressed the call button so I ran my way from downstairs to our floor. By the time I got home, I was sweating and panting hard. I fished out the keys from the pocket of my jeans and unlocked the door. "Autumn?"
All lights were turned off. I used my phone to get to the coat stand. I reached for the lamp switch on the wall and turned on the light. The apartment was weirdly quiet. I shrugged off my jacket and tossed it on the couch. "Autumn? Love, where are you?"
I went and searched the bedroom, the kitchen, and the bathroom but I couldn't find her. I pulled out my phone and dialed her number. It was sent straight to the voicemail.
"Hi, this is Autumn. I'm away right now but I give you five seconds to leave a message before summer."
I pressed the end call and checked my message just in case she left me a message. Only then I realized that my text bounced back. "Shït!" I should've known, Mario always turned on the jammers whenever we were on a mission to prevent anyone from calling cops or their colleagues. I hit resend and dialed her number again. This time, I left a voicemail.
"Love, I'm so sorry. I just noticed that my reply wasn't sent. Where are you? I'm so sorry. Can you come home? We can talk. Please. Call me back so I'll know you're alright."
I plopped down on the couch and leaned back. As I stared at the ceiling, I rubbed my hands over my face out of frustration. I've let her down so many times. "Fucking stupid!" I felt the tension pressing against my skull and at the back of my neck. Everything seemed to fall apart lately. No matter how much I tried to make it right, it always ended up in a disaster. It almost felt like we were in a series and the screenwriter didn't want us to be together.
I went to the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee then walked to the balcony. I looked out at New York and the heavy traffic down below. The sound of traffic drifted upward to the tenth floor, and a brisk breeze brushed my face, carrying the scent of car fumes and noisy car horns.
What's wrong with you, Ty? What happened to us?
I remembered her words like I've been listening to it the whole day. How I wish I knew the answer to those questions. How I wish I knew how to fix this.
I don't even mind if you want to meet Ashton or one of your exes. Hell, I won't even complain if you're going to meet that teacher you used to sleep with. We just talked. Faith and I were just talking over a drink. What's the big deal? I wouldn't mind you having a drink with your exes as long as you're not thinking of banging them.
I moved away from the rail and sat on a padded patio chair. I raised the mug to my lips and took a sip of the strong black coffee. I always assuaged my guilt by telling myself that I wanted to give her some space, and everything would turn back to normal once she cooled down.
If you give her too much space, someone else might get to her first. She's really fragile right now, especially after having a fight with her man, you shouldn't leave her alone to rethink about the whole thing. You might end up losing her, you know.
Faith was right. I was dumb. Why had I thought that she would come around? She wouldn't come around if I didn't do anything. Fucking idiot!
I raised the mug and took a long drink. The bitterness of the coffee reflected the bitterness in my heart. A lock fell on my forehead and I brushed it off as I leaned back in the chair. I checked my phone but there was no reply. I tossed the phone on the chair beside me and sighed. "I fucked up."
As I stared at the night sky, I prayed that no matter where she was, she was alright. And for the time being, I would be waiting until she came home.
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