บท 49: It's your life anyway
So, Miles killed his father. He killed his father and he feels no remorse or anything like that.
I'm friends with a murderer?
Too much info dump.
I shake my head rapidly to clear it. I'm in the hallway, walking away from my last class and I couldn't get my head around the information I just heard.
I just wanted to know how he grew up.
I just wanted to talk about something to pass the time.
I just wanted to know him more.
Well you do now don't you?
Well, yes. I know he had a rough childhood. I mean who hasn't.
Take me for example. I lost my parents when I was seven and now look at how great my life has turned out!
I sigh for the thousandth time that day. We were in the last period of the day, and I didn't feel like going for class.
I have been through a lot and I just couldn't wait for school to end.
"Raven."
I turn to where my name was called and I see Nick.
I haven't been able to talk to him for weeks now. If we by chance see each other, it's either a quick hello or he totally ignores me.
It's like he's avoiding me and he's doing a great job at that.
"Hey." I say softly.
He doesn't look himself. He looks too relaxed but at the same time very tense.
His hands were in his pockets. His eyes were more of stormy grey than light grey.
His whole pose was rigid, and he looked like he could burst at any moment.
"Are you alright?" I ask him but he doesn't answer.
"How was it like when your parents died?"
What?
Why is he asking me that all of a sudden?
"Why are-"
"Just answer the damn question Raven."
I gulp. "I felt like my heart was smashed into pieces."
"You must miss them a lot."
"I do." He nods.
"So if there was a way you could see them again, you'd do anything?"
"Yes." I say in a heartbeat.
He nods again. "Now I get it."
Get what?
"Now I see why you are in such a hurry to die."
"What?"
"You must miss your parents a lot to actually risk your life just so you can join them."
"Nick what are-"
"But you know you're just being stupid right?" He interrupts me.
"What?"
"You are an idiot who can't seem to hear or listen to reason."
"Why are you-"
"Don't you get it Raven?! I keep telling every fucking day to stay away from Miles, but you keep-"
"Is that what's this is about?" This time, it was I who did the interrupting. "Is it because I keep spending time with Miles, you're here insulting me? Because I refused to listen to you."
"This is more than just about listening or telling you something! That guy is a life threat! He can attack at any given moment! When you least expect it."
"Where's the proof that he did so huh? Where is the evidence that Miles is the kind of person you say he is?"
Didn't you see it like during lunch?
"I am the proof!" He shouts.
"What makes you that?"
"Because Miles took something away from me too!! He took something that was so dear to me. It's because of that I know what he can do!"
What?
"You may be a proof, but that was a long time ago. He could have changed."
He laughs. "Changed?!" He scoffs. "You don't know the kind of mistake you're making spitfire."
"I am not making any mistake."
He pulls his hair in frustration. "Why wouldn't you just listen to me damnit!"
"Because I don't have to." I say and turn to walk away.
"Now I get why your parents died." He says suddenly.
What?
His words stops me in my tracks.
"They had a daughter who seems to doesn't listen. How wouldn't they die?" I turn to him.
"What did you just say."
"Your parents died because you insisted on going out to eat." He takes a step forward. "Say, if you didn't persuade your parents that day, wouldn't they still be alive?"
What?
"Wouldn't you have a normal life like every normal person you know? But you just had to be a spoiled little brat didn't you."
"What?"
"I bet your parents are regretting it right now." He continues. He doesn't stop talking. "I'm sure they are regretting having you. I mean, it's your fault they died. It's your fault your aunt beats you. It's your fault your cousin hates you." He pauses.
Why won't he stop?!
"It's your fault. Your life could have been perfect if you had just shut your mouth up in the first place."
Why wouldn't he stop talking?!!
"So why don't you just reflect on your past mistakes and try to be sensible once? Huh? I've tried talking to you with ease but it seems once a stupid crackhead, always a stupid crackhead right?"
Why?!!
"Grow up Raven. If you don't want to see the people that care for you mourn over you, just grow up and stop being fucking childish." He says and I swear I could hear a pin drop.
Never in my life have I been insulted like that.
Of course I receive insults from Lisa almost every day, but I knew it was just an act of inferiority.
But I never expected it from Nick. He was the guy I thought I could trust. He was the guy that helped me when I needed someone. He was the guy that made me understand it wasn't my fault.
He was the only person I let in.
And now, he's the one that's against me.
How wonderful is that?
He sighs and puts his hands in his pockets.
"I think this is where I'd have to put my full stop. I have tried every possible way to get you to reason, but it seem I can't get words through you. If you don't want to listen, it's fine. It's your life anyway."
And with that, he starts walking towards me. Everything goes in slow motion as he walks past me and as my heart shatters to pieces.
It felt like he had just walked out of my life forever. Like he has nothing else to do with me again. Like the only thing bonding us together is the friendship between his twin and I.
And that thought, tore my heart to shreds.
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