บท 1: I Pushed Superman Out of the Space Pod!
Pain! My head is splitting! My heart feels like it's shrinking. My blood feels thick and heavy. My body is freezing. This is the first thing I feel as I wake up from unconsciousness.
After a few seconds, I move my eyes and look around with difficulty. I'm surrounded by a desolate night scene. Dense trees form a triangle shape like spearheads, extending infinitely outward. Not far from here, a fire is crackling and burning. The pitch-black night, the red flames, and the smell of burning earth create a scene that looks like hellfire.
Where am I?! Why am I here? I move my body and these questions fill my mind. I try hard to remember, to bring my fading consciousness back. I feel like I'm returning to my body, slowly, bit by bit, like droplets of water on a leaf. My body's functions are coming back.
Wasn't I just in a "street battle"? I was dominating and about to completely overpower my enemy, so why did everything go black and now I'm in this creepy place? I think hard for a few seconds, but still have no clue. I lick my dry lips and open my mouth to call for help.
"Waa~ Waa~ Waa~!" The sound that comes out shocks me. I'm crying like a baby?! In surprise, I look at my body. Small arms and legs, pink and tender, with little white feet kicking and weak hands waving... I look completely like a baby! Did I become a baby?! Did I join the recent trend of time travel and become a proud member of the time-traveling club?!
But how could that be?! How could someone like me time travel? Growing up in an orphanage, sensitive and antisocial, my introverted personality turned into outward rage as I entered society. I became cynical, cold, selfish, causing trouble, and hated by everyone. How could someone like me be chosen to time travel? If there is some kind of time and space management bureau, they must have made a mistake due to some careless employee!
After complaining, I force myself to calm down. The top priority now is survival! In the wilderness, with no one around and fire burning nearby, as a baby with no survival skills, I could freeze to death, starve, be taken by wild animals, or be consumed by the spreading fire. Since I can't call for help, I have to act on my own! You have to rely on yourself! This is the life motto I learned from the orphanage.
I struggle to move my arms, turn over on the blanket wrapping me, and face another direction to observe my surroundings. "Huff, huff!" I breathe heavily. As a baby who can't walk yet, turning over is exhausting. After resting and catching my breath, I look around. I see about six or seven meters to my left, there's a steaming deep pit. Unlike the white smoke from burning trees, the mist from the pit doesn't smell of burning, it seems like an unnatural smoke.
Since I can't stand to see the full view, I can only guess that the pit contains a meteorite. This could explain the fire around me. A meteorite falling from the sky would ignite during atmospheric friction, finally landing in this forest, creating the pit and starting the fire. If the pit has no open flames and is not too hot, it could be a good place for me to hide from the cold and the fire.
Thinking this, I tighten my grip on the blanket, take a deep breath, and roll toward the pit along the slightly raised ground. "Thump, thump, thump!" Luckily, it had rained here before, so the ground is not hard and is covered with fallen leaves, allowing me to roll successfully to the edge of the pit. I manage to stop myself and move my body, poking my head out to look inside the pit.
What I see inside the pit shocks me! A black, steaming object about the size of a baby carriage, a space pod, appears in my view. Is this a spaceship?! It's not a meteorite, but a spaceship crash?! Stunned for two seconds, I decide to go down and check it out. Even though I'm a baby now, I've come this far and can't back out. Even if there's danger below, it's better than lying up here waiting to die.
I wrap the blanket tighter, tuck my head inside, take a deep breath, and roll down along the soft soil. Thud! This time I'm not so lucky, my body hits the side of the space pod with a dull thud. Even though I'm wrapped in a blanket, it still hurts. After resting for a while, I stretch out my bruised arm and use all my strength to prop myself up. On all fours, I crawl towards what looks like the entrance of the space pod.
"Click!" As soon as I touch the space pod's door engraved with ancient and mysterious patterns, it opens. With steam rising, the inside of the pod comes into view. There's a baby inside, about the same size as me! Seeing the door open, the baby's curious blue eyes look at the unexpected visitor, me.
How could this be?! I'm so shocked I can't speak. Although I couldn't speak to begin with. A baby in a space pod falling from the sky... Why does this scene look familiar?! It takes me two seconds to realize this is the plot of Superman! Even though I'm not a comic book fan, who doesn't know Superman?! Could this baby be Superman?
I chew my finger and start thinking. If this baby is Superman, it means the Kents who will adopt him will come soon. And I'll be saved too! With a serious look in my eyes, I make a decision. Thump! A pickup truck speeds along a forest road, bouncing on the uneven path.
"Smallville temperature 9.6 degrees, humidity 62.3%, wind speed 12.8 meters per second. Gentlemen, there's no better night than this..." The pickup's radio crackles with the announcer's broadcast. Jonathan Kent frowns. As a town farmer, forest fires are his worst fear, especially near harvest festival time.
"Temperature 9.6 degrees, humidity 62%, in such dry conditions, a fire is no surprise. Jonathan, look, the fire is only in the woods northwest of the farm, and it's not very big." His wife Martha, sitting in the passenger seat, tries to comfort him softly as she sees his furrowed brows.
"I'm just worried..." Jonathan's eyes soften under his cowboy hat as he looks at his wife and says, "Someone set the fire on purpose." As they talk, they arrive at the fire scene. After getting out of the truck, they are stunned by what they see! In the deep pit, the door of the space pod is open, and a baby is lying inside. Next to the pod, another baby is curled up on a light gray blanket.
"This is... Oh my God?!" Martha covers her mouth in disbelief. Jonathan calmly looks around, puts away his shotgun, and slides down the edge of the pit. He carefully picks up the baby inside the pod. Martha, on the other side, picks up the baby lying on the blanket, murmuring, "Is this a gift from heaven?" Jonathan doesn't speak, carefully examining the baby in his arms.
The baby Jonathan picks up from the pod is, of course, me. As a consistent villain, I immediately took the space pod and pushed baby Superman out, not caring if he agreed or not. Anyway, you're Kryptonian, you won't freeze to death. I'll take the pod first. As Jonathan holds me, I suddenly hear an electronic voice in my head.
[Host has activated the Homelander template, now loading.] Homelander? The weaker version of Superman from "The Boys," ruthless and milk-loving "giant baby"? I smile a little. Good, in this dangerous world, I now have some power to protect myself. And, Homelander... This world might become more and more interesting!
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