บท 21: Chapter 21 Worse than just fear.

Fear gripped me and my hand clutched to the bed sheet as my father walked in. I saw the flame in his eyes and I felt like entering the wall. The more he drew closer my heartbeat became louder, I tried to open my mouth to speak but I couldn't instead it was shaking uncontrollably but Belinda who was not as scared as I was went to meet him.

"Uncle Wiliton, if you want to blame anyone for this then it should be me and not Jessica. I was the one who suggested everything and I even__"

"Shut up!" He told her in a calm yet harsh tone but as I expected she continued...

"I even persuaded her even if she wasn't interested at all__" She proceeded and I was about to contradict her but before i could my dad raised his hands wanting to slap her.

"I said QUIET!!!" He yelled and Belinda and I looked at his hand which was hung in the air in awe as the room turned silent for what seemed like hours before he finally brought it down and left the room without uttering another word.

ImI'mdiately he left, I stood up and went to where she was standing, I gazed at her intently as my eyes tried to capture her expression and what I saw in her eyes were sadness, fear and worry.

"Belinda you didn't have to blame yourself for that and I'm sorry for__"

"Don't sweat It," She smiled but that couldn't still hide the sadness in her, father had never shouted at her until today talkless if raising his hands wanting to hit her. All these made the guilt in me pump harder and despite what my father almost did to her and all that I caused, I could still see the worry in her eyes, worry that was placed there for me, worry that she felt for me...

"Belinda, don't take what dad did seriously. Okay?

I will call you later and whatever happens to me I deserve it," I smiled at her and without even allowing her to utter another word, I left the room and started trailing my dad who was walking like he would bring the walls down in no time.

After walking for a short while, he entered the car and was about to drive off but I quickly opened the door and jumped in like a superwoman but he remained expressionless making my already beating heart accelerate.

'What was he thinking of doing. Was he going to trash me out?! Damn! I shouldn't have gone there, it was my fault so whatever happens to me I deserve it,' I thought and then I inhaled trying to calm myself down but I couldn't still help but worry especially with that look on his face and the worst was the silence that followed. I heard from my friends that silence is a way of respecting the atmosphere but this one...was surely an abuse because even the atmosphere was threatened by it and I knew that my heart will blow if it took longer and thankfully the ride didn't take that long before we reached home. Immediately the car stopped, he came out in a hurry which made the fear in me turn to confusion.

'What was he up to?' I soliloquized and then I hastily got out of the car.

As I looked at the building in front of me, my heartbeat began to accelerate again.

'Was I going to enter this house? Was my foot going to touch the now dangerous stairs?' I wondered but after a while of thinking, I gathered the littlee courage left in me and walked in.

I followed my dad who was going upstairs to his study but before I could get to him he already entered his study.

I once again had to face this, contemplating whether to enter or not and after a while of standing still, I slowly opened the door as my foot made its way in.

He was standing with his back facing me and he didn't even move despite knowing that I was there, I knew he was disappointed with me but I was still in wonder of why I was not being punished or grounded.

"Father, I'm sorry. I know I disappointed you with what I did and I am sorry for that. I was so foolish letting my curiosity take over," I said with a bent face as a tear dropped but my father just sighed after hearing my words.

"I was about to slap you awhile ago but I realised that that wouldn't help at all, what will hitting you do?

I know that you were wrong by going out but I realised that I was also wrong all these years by isolating you," He turned and his eyes flew to mine.

"If I hadn't isolated you and kept you away from being like your friends maybe you would have not lied to me, maybe you would have felt confident enough to tell me where you were really heading to and maybe that curiosity you felt wouldn't have been there," He proceeded and the tensed air turned into a guilty one as I could feel guilt in his eyes.

I was speechless....because I didn't know what to say... some words he said were right so I didn't want to deceive both him and myself by contradicting him but one thing stocked to my brain which was that I was also at fault.

"I guess your mom was right when she said that, my behaviour towards you would eventually endanger you," He turned and his back faced me once again. I was about to say something to make him feel better but he told me to leave him.