บท 42: CH 42

That would be very thoughtless of you,' Salazar agreed. 'Horrible way to go, makes some of the more morally questionable curses I've seen look kind. You'd sort of melt from within I'd imagine.'

With that cheerful picture in mind Harry abandoned Salazar to his gory thoughts and began to head back towards his bed and the increasingly distant group of people he shared a dormitory with.

Gryffindor Tower's common room greeted him with it's usual oppressive silence. Ron, Seamus and a handful of the others who had decided his shadow was too much for them to bear were sitting around the fire. He spared them no more than a glance and made his way towards the stairs. 'Harry.' Ron's voice caught him with one foot on the bottom step. They all came over to stand around the base of the stairs.

He turned to face them directly, wary, expecting another verbal assault. Ron's face seemed rather contorted, as if he was having problems breathing.

'What?' He kept his voice as neutral as possible, but the word still came out chilly. Surprisingly Ron winced.

'Look,' he began, glancing around to gather courage from the others. 'I'm no good at talking things out so I'm just going to be frank. I know this hasn't been easy for you and I'm not really certain you put your name in the goblet. I'm angry with you, we're all a bit mad,' he gestured at all of the guys except Neville, 'but we know it's not really your fault. You always get dragged into this stuff and come out looking like a hero. I know you hate it, but it's hard for us to always be overlooked when standing next to you.'

'He's trying to say he's sorry,' Hermione interrupted. 'He's done a rubbish job of it because he still needs some time to come to terms with things, but he means it, we all do.'

'So this is an apology.'

Harry had waited for this moment, and had not dared hope it would come so soon as it had. His friends were coming round, things would be back to normal. His heart should have swelled at the thought, but it didn't. It stayed remarkably still and heavy.

I don't care, he realised. There was no rush of joy or relief coming from their change of heart. It's too late.

'I'm not sure I care anymore,' he shrugged. Their words just didn't seem to mean anything. They had made him nobody again, he could not forgive that. Nobody had never had anyone but himself, Harry had, but they had abandoned him. He could not trust them not to do the same thing again.

'How can you say that?' Hermione exclaimed.

'I opened my mouth, I remembered how I felt about having my entire house turn their backs on me, and I spoke,' Harry explained calmly. 'The only conversations I've had with any of you recently have been to listen to your explanations of why you're avoiding me.'

'We made a mistake,' Ron agreed. 'You must realise what it looks like and how much pressure Angelina is putting on everyone with her grudge against you. Please, forgive us, and we'll carry on as before, stronger.'

It was an admirable attempt and Harry had to admire him for swallowing his pride so greatly and saying it. The Harry that had forgotten what it was like to be nobody would have given in to the pressure and accepted, but he felt no such obligation.

It is not enough.

'You ask for forgiveness? I do not forgive. I do not forget.'

Ron snapped, his patience stretched too far.

'Fine then,' he yelled, 'you selfish, pretentious git. Go and bask in your glory. I hope it was worth the deaths of your parents and the loss of your only friends.'

Harry's wand was out of his sleeve and in his face before anyone else could move.

'What did you say,' he hissed. Parseltongue came more easily than English when he was enraged.

Ron went red with rage before his wand and swung his fist blindly. Caught by surprise he caught Harry in the side of the head and he fell back onto the stairs.

The red-head was on top of him before he could roll away, swinging wildly, but Harry was used to such things back when his cousin had used to hit him and his post-ritual body was stronger.

He shoved Ron off him, and smashed his left fist into his ex-best friend's stomach, driving the air out of him.

Someone grabbed the back of his robes and his left arm, but he pulled himself free and lunged for his wand that lay where he'd dropped it in surprise.

There was a flash of light and it shot away from his grasp across the room, slicing past Seamus' head as he ducked.

It struck the wall next to the fire with a loud, audible crunch and fell, shattered, to the floor.

'Oh, I'm so sorry, Harry,' Hermione gasped, horrified. 'I didn't mean to. I've been practicing the banishing spell and it was just the first one I thought of. I panicked and wanted to stop the fight.'

She was babbling, but he wasn't really listening to her. His veins were very slowly filling with ice. He was terribly, terribly angry.

Whoever was holding him had let go and the room was suddenly very very quiet around him. Harry strode across the room to carefully retrieve all the fragmented pieces of his precious wand.

'I didn't mean to do it, Harry,' Hermione whispered.

He fixed her with the coldest stare he could manage, pushing as much of his fury as he could muster into his eyes.

She flinched as if struck.

'I do not forgive,' he repeated in a voice as cold as the ice in his blood. 'I do not forget.'