บท 599: 599. Mirror of Narcissism
[A/N: Alfred is the A.I turned Android from Courage the cowardly dog world.]
Goku tried to get out of Alexander's hold. He felt as powerless as he was feeling yesterday when Ragnarok had caught him and Vegeta. Now, he was remembering that he had ignored what had happened yesterday entirely.
If Ragnarok was able to hold them, then how strong was Alexander?
Alexander tightened his hold, "Kid, you are very weak. But, I believe that you have unlimited potential."
"I think so too, haha..." Goku laughed wryly.
"So, you accept defeat?" Alexander asked. He knew that toying with Goku was like playing with a small toy for him and he would only be wasting his time by doing it.
Goku didn't reply fast. So, Alexander applied some more pressure.
"I can train you later. We can find out your limit. If you have indeed unlimited potential like Saitama then I guess I will have another ally in the future." Alexander told him.
Goku quietly nodded. Alexander also let him go at that point.
Goku turned back to normal and stretched his shoulders as they felt stiff due to being nearly strangled by Alexander.
"You really are a god it seems," Goku said.
"Took you long enough to realise," Alexander replied in a sarcastic tone.
"Now, do you remember your promise? You will have to be a good father and husband. For this, you need to find a job and provide money to the family so they don't have to worry about putting food on the table and work to improve Gohan's studies." Alexander reminded Goku.
But Goku's face fell, "What? But this was not in the deal."
Alexander chuckled, "It was. You just didn't ask me what I meant by a good husband and a good father. The number one duty of a good father is to be a role model for his son. You are a good role model when it comes to physical strength but lack when it comes to mental abilities.
"The number one duty of a good husband is to try to keep your wife happy and help her with her problems. Not leave her to deal with them alone.
"You had the daring to get married and have a kid. Now you need to fulfil those roles."
"But what about training? Those androids will be appearing soon." Goku complained.
"Do this and I will train you to become the strongest being in the universe. Leave whoever these androids are to me. Got it?" Alexander instructed him.
"Oh, that would be amazing. I'll see you later then." Goku happily left.
Alexander sighed and went to Phixheim to talk to Olivia.
...
Phixheim,
"Move your hips. Round and round... One step forward one step backwards..."
Natasha was teaching the inhabitants of Phixheim how to exercise. It was funny seeing The Tailed Beasts, Hats, Chappy, Ajax, Douglas, Noodles, Berry and all kinds of beings shaking their hips or trying to do it and failing miserably.
The environment of Phixheim was always peak satisfying and relaxing.
Alexander went to Olivia who sat on a bench and read a book. "Hey, Oli."
"Hey, Alex. I had something important to talk to you about." Olivia put down her book.
Alexander turned serious and listened to her. "What is it?"
"I was thinking about Rina and Gali. They have been gone for so long now. I wonder how they are. They haven't contacted us in so long either." Olivia said worriedly.
Alexander laid back and thought. "Yes, I left them in One Piece world. I don't know if they are still there though. Don't worry. I will go and get them soon."
"Yes, that would be best." Olivia went back to reading her book.
Then Alexander went to the underground lab to see what his scientists were cooking.
"What did you make for me, Alfred?" Alexander asked.
"Ah, boss? Come come, behold my latest creation. The mirror of narcissism. If you stand in front of it, it will praise you." Alfred revealed and went in front of it.
Soon, a voice came from the mirror. It spoke in a British accent. "Huh, such a foolish waste of my energy. You look absolutely horrendous. Like a piece of junk that nobody wants."
Alfred was left standing there with his eyes wide open.
"Dammit, it seems I messed up its emotional settings." Alfred cursed.
"Just correct it then," Alexander advised.
"Not possible. I used magic to make it and now it is basically a semi-living thing." Alfred explained.
Seeing Alexander standing in front of it, the mirror got activated. "Oh, who do we have here? Colonel Sanders himself? I thought you died of cholesterol from that greasy chicken whose so-called recipe has more ingredients than an East India company's spice/slave ship and yet tastes like crap."
Alexander was taken aback by all this. This was indeed a fun pastime. He immediately called Dobby to see what the mirror would say.
Confused Dobby stood in front of the mirror.
"Ah, the bigfoot is here. You must be one of the lucky ones to survive the worst pandemic to ever hit earth, humans." The mirror said. Though it was unclear to whom it was insulting.
Next was Ragnarok's turn.
"For God's sake, why is this gold fetish man here? I never thought you'd come out of your dweeb cave where you probably ejaculate to the gold itself before licking it clean to keep the gold shining."
Ragnarok raged, "What did it say? I'm going to melt this mirror."
"Hahaha, what is going on here?" Iroh asked as he entered with a teacup in his hand.
But he stood in front of the mirror mistakenly.
"How can a man drink piss of so many flavours? You must truly be a different kind of pervert."
Alexander laughed at Iroh's shocked expression.
Soon, Ragnarok brought a confused Douglas because he was interested in knowing what the mirror would say about his scissor fetish.
"What's going on?" Douglas asked.
But the mirror was the one to reply, "This is an angel? Woah, it seems heaven's standards have really fallen. What kind of angel has scissors as weapons? Might as well cut your own dick and become a tailor. The scissor will be better used there."
"Bwahaha..."Ragnarok started laughing.
"Alex, I need you to make me a..." Olivia entered suddenly.
*Whistle*
"Um-hmm... What a nice ass. Damn those hips don't really lie and I wanna lie on them." The mirror spoke.
But Olivia was alerted and looked around. "Which degenerate used such foul language?"
Everyone pointed to the mirror.
A few moments later, the mirror was thrown on to the conveyor belt taking it to the melting station to be rebuilt later.
Alexander turned to Alfred, "Man, don't make such stuff from now on. Now I'll have to sleep on the couch."
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