บท 131: Poker Face
I hate all of these useless emotions
That I can never seem to get away from
The way they get in the way
Of everyday things and activities
Hurts me repeatedly, continuously
So I do whatever I can
To get rid of them through writing
I write love stories because
I want to be loved
I write sad stories because
I want to be comforted
I write war stories because
I need someone to show me
They would fight for me
I write happy endings because
I never got one
I write pain into my characters because
They are all a part of me,
And we are all hurting still
I write with anger because
I have no outlet.
I write with longing because
I have nothing else
I keep writing and writing and writing
Because if I ever stopped....
I would be forced to face
All of these emotions
And to admit what they really mean
To admit how alone I feel in a crowded room
Or how sad I am when all I do is laugh
To admit that everytime I shine
It's because I want you to look past
What is dull and broken inside me
To admit how much it hurts
With each brush off, be it yours or mine
But now everything hurts
And I'm so exhausted
Tears just take a lot out of a person
I just want to sleep and not wake
Up for a few centuries, give or take
Everyone else can just buzz off for a little while
To let me mend. To let me heal.
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