Duality

LV 3

Dan_Ryder

Takeaway: Reading this story is like listening to the drunken tale of a deranged mad man as he slowly trys to fumble through an incoherent story he can barely remember. So first we have to start with Writing Quality, I'm going to give this a solid 2. And that's only because the author got a little bit better over his time writing the story. Most of the use of prose and syntax is ill advised. Author also has the *******ish habit of using any synonym for said he can find in his story. Instead of painting a vivid picture of what happens through words the author tells you. Stability of Updates: A solid 1, if you start enjoying this novel, which you won't, don't expect any releases soon. Story Development: There is none, we have an mc reincarnated into a new world. We then get a flash back 30/57 chapters available. Then mc gets a McGuffin and sets off on some type of quest. Throughout it all the author consistently fails the reader to deliver a coherent narrative. This has a lot to do with the stability of updates, it just feels like the author keeps changing direction constantly at what he wants out of the story. Character Design: The mc is interesting, but all of the other characters lack any discerning soul or individuality that it's very disconcerting. They might as well all be named Random Stand in #1 or Random Stand in #2 from all the times the author introduces new characters that have no effect on the over arching plot. If a character isn't important don't even bother naming them. I mean half the characters introduced sit in a 30 chapter flashback, so it's pretty bad. The mother who is the star of the flashback is a walking piece of garbage with no redeeming qualities. World Background: Just your standard fantasy world, filled with mysteries and mystique that never quite get answered. At 57 chapters in we still barely know anything about the world, the op mc has barely set out on his Mcguffin warranted quest. I doubt the author even knows anything about it at this point to be honest. The world background was not well planned or taught out before writing. Might as well call the world DND Module World #32 for the lack of world building that goes on here. Detailed Explanation/Spoilers: It's honestly not worth the time or effort to read. I only read this because I thought the author knew a little about the tenants of story telling. None of that is to be found here. The novel was not outlined before writing, and the author lacks any sense of creativity. Reading this story is like meandering through a random DND module, with a very drunk Dungeon Master. The story starts off with your standard isekai, with a male protaganist reincarnated and being op from his memories of a past life. For some reason the author then chooses to spend half of the chapters in the story telling a flashback about his mothers prime. Yep, half the chapters available are a flashback with no relevance to the story... This is where the drunken meandering comes from. We don't even get to see the protag settle into his new life until around chapter 36. Yep, that's right you gotta read from around chapter 5 to chapter 36 on a random flash back that brings nothing relevant to the story. If the novel stopped at chapter 34 the main character would be Dene and she's nothing if not unlikable. No redeeming qualities what so ever. She even tells an explanative sex story to the 10 year old mc on how he was concieved in chapter 30. Yep no redeeming qualities. There's nothing unique that stands out about the characters presented, and this has to do with the authors failure to create any type of personality for the characters. There's nothing in the entire story that makes me even care about the story of the protaganist. I mean we did spend half the novel in the point of view of the unlikable Dene for one. After explaining to my son the joys of sex, lets go take him on a murder spree a few years later. Cause that's how you raise a 13 year old boy in a fantasy world. Oh my son's talented, he's perfect for this quest created by my mcguffin! Thankfully we don't have to deal with the sex and murder crazed mom anymore as she tragically dies around chapter 45. So the mother's story and everything was leading up to our mc having a tragic past, but it's not tragic at all because his mother's a walking piece of garbage. After that we finally get the pay off of the reincarnated wish fulfillment of the mc stomping around a fantasy world, cause you know he was reincarnated and trained by his walking piece of garbage mother in the art of murder. This goes off even worse, because the author just fails to tell a story with any redeeming qualities. By now you're completely phoned out of the story, not caring who the newly crowned op mc meets or interacts with, as he entirely mary sues his self through the world for around 20 chapters meeting random person #1 and random side character #10 all to show his superior prowess as a reincarnator with wisdom beyond his age trained into a living weapon by his living garbage mother. In closing the author had a cool premise and good ideas trying to mash together the tragic backstory, reincarnator, op mc tropes, But utterly fails in the attempt. This maybe could be a good story if the author was more experienced and rewrote this story entirely without the drunken meandering, but I digress. Well deserved 1.2/5 not worth your time.

LV 1

NovelReview

The author requested this review to be done from chapter 17 onward. Writing Quality- 2- Note that 2 is actually better than 90 percent of all novels in this platform. The prose is a bit awkward with long sentences separated by commas. In writing we must focus on giving rich sentences. Short sentences are powerful (But it doesn't mean that we should make all sentences short. It will sound awkward). Also there are unnecessary words which could have been trimmed. Take the beginning of chapter 22 for example. 'It wasn't an easy sleep, however, as every little noise wake her up. And then every time she would double check the locks on the doors, losing precious minutes of sleep every time' This could be cut to 'Every fleeting noise jarred her sleep. She would check the locks with every waking, precious minutes of sleep lost' You don't have to tell the readers that her sleep wasn't easy. All of us experienced this kind of hellish sleep before. There are typos and incorrect spellings but once again, your novel is better than most in this aspect. We make mistakes and without editors, we cannot perfect every word. One more problem I saw is the occasional transition to omniscient point of view. I forgot where but this did happen a few times. It is not a big problem though some readers will notice it. Stability of Updates- 5 - I rate every novel 5. Not many readers know this but a single chapter would take hours to write. Story Development- 3- Chapter 17 to 35 focuses on Dene, the MC's mother. I rate this high as her story didn't feel like a backstory at all (Given, it is 18 chaps long). Her rise from a defeated wretched is a compelling tale. Do note that the standard I used is based on published novels. 5 stars would be story development rivaling Mistborn or something. Character Design- 4- Dene is a great character. Her personalities are fleshed out and she feels real. The readers would understand her actions. The dialogues are also great. The author slips world building and personality traits into dialogues pretty well. 5 stars in this would be character design equal to Glokta in The Blade Itself. World Background- 4- It is a normal fantasy world with kingdoms and such sprinkled with unique things. Cultures and the people were explained well. I can't really say more about this as I don't fully grasp what Webnovel means by 'World Background' Additional thoughts. Although my review only spans chaps 17-35, I think the author should cut the prologue. It is too long and feels like a different genre. Prologues are meant to present a flavor to the readers. It is like the first sniff of coke or something (for the lack of better analogy. Don't do drugs kids.). Final thoughts. This is a great novel. I can't say much about the MC but Dene's story is rich with her character. 95th percentile compared to the other novels here is my estimate.

LV 4

JohnnyKbca

Thanks for taking the time to read my novel. I'm Thiago, author of SC. This is my entry to the Qidian prompt contest, and I plan to submit 2-3 more chapters before July 22.

LV 10

CCmei

I'm pleasantly surprised. I did not expect it to be this good. The story starts off blocky, from what I assumed was a militaristic style. It was still enough of an interesting hook, if unnatural, about our MC and his revenge to his path to reincarnation. But by chapter 17 it starts flowing like water. It flows to over a dozen chapters on the mother in flashback that build and fills in so much about this world/society in such a vivid way that I was actually reluctant to see it end. One of the unique and interesting parts is how the MC's background, race, and skin color plays such a heavy role. WN being a Wuxia site and just with mainstream media in general, having a black MC with his and his mother's perspective makes the story riveting. It does not hold back on the painful racism and obvious colonialism callout. Kudos. Worldbuilding is A+, the background details and cultivation system in a fantasy Western world based very much on our own world history is incredibly well thought up. The author must have spent many hours, months honestly, ruminating and building upon their ideas. More importantly you can see their skills visably improving. I want from 'oh ok' - 'meh' - 'hmmm' - 'oh now we're getting somewhere' and finally to the juicy story unfolding around the MC that took place before he was born, setting up a great stage for him to step up. Take your time author, because work as good as this is worth it.

LV 11

Scarlettbunny

Love, love, love it! I'm a few chapters short of reading it up to date but I'm keeping this in my library! It was so good before with so much potential and then it bloomed into something magnificent! Characters are loveable, villains are detestable, so of course your cheer when they get their just rewards, magic, fighting, personal growth and you already know they have a child later on but what happened to Johnathan? So best part mystery!!!! So refreshing from all the other novels currently on the site. Giving the reader a more slice of life take but it's exciting and magical. Great job, keep up the good work.

LV 2

KristineElias

Hey, this is pretty good. the character is well developed as well as the story. Too bad that you don't update regularly though. Readers would get bored if there are no regular updates so you better think about updating in a regular basis. I'm looking forward to more of it.

LV 2

Maromar

John Yao has awakened, may death touch his enemies! Duality is an isekai reincarnation novel that dips moderately into cultivation and very lightly into litRPG elements. Its setup immediately provides a cushion for any overcompetance by making the protagonist a veteran U.S. Army Ranger who made it into the special forces and then the CIA. In my opinion, there are far too many works in the genre that feature a **** (and sometimes even a tween!) that makes the decisions necessary to survive in a hostile world without any kind of remorse, repression, or shock. It's become disgustingly common. The consensus is to let it be when a modern fourteen-year-old gouges someone's eyes out without having nightmares about it for years when the most hardened of veterans come back from war with PTSD. With John already being an adjusted professional I find it easier to give him a pass when he kills without a following bout of introspection. Duality has an intriguing method for dealing with themes of racism and otherism. That is, the text doesn’t “deal” with it at all, but serves it with all the subtlety of a three-legged giraffe on acid. This is a good thing given the world he’s reincarnated into. Racial discrimination and supremacist beliefs are naked in the North and so the narrative matches it rather than offering a one-off mention and not confronting the issue. Potentially contentious aspects need to be confronted directly, lest the story disrespects them. JohnnyKbca appears to understand this. The piece has clear ideas, some solid points of logic, and a willingness to look at uncomfortable topics in the eyes. That’s where my praise ends, though. Duality needs some love on the mechanical side. The narrative often repeats information or stutters between the past and present. The repetition is particularly damaging when mentions of Southern characters' race and physical descriptions crop up. It’s enough to establish that they are dark-skinned and treated differently due to the fact, doing so constantly with few paragraphs between instances throws readers out of the story, especially in cases where that isn’t the main focus. To some readers, this might seem like the text is fishing for points of some kind, but the issue is one of overwriting, not author tract. Readers might pay particular attention to where it’s present alongside racial issues due to our trained sensitivities (I caught myself and ended up reading the story a second time to make sure, I’m glad I didn’t jump to conclusions) Take this selection for example: “As for his religion, she learned more about it. The Holy Flame was seen as the greatest power in the universe and the creator of life. Since the beginning of time, it has been in conflict with its antithesis, the False Flame. According to their holy scriptures, the Holy Flame created all lifeforms and humanity was the perfect one. Envious of this fact, the False Flame attempted to create its own humans but was incapable of doing so.” While functional, it doesn’t flow. A lot of English geeks would end the commentary there, attributing good flow to something that you get a knack for producing naturally. They are wrong. Flow is just an overall impression that comes from the clarity of language, economy of words, and structure variation. It’s purely mechanical. Trimming the selection and using stronger language paints a more vivid scene and improves the flow. Observe: “Their “Holy Flame” was the greatest power to exist. It molded all life from its embers, lauding humanity as its most perfect creation. Incapable of such a feat, the False Flame fought eternally against its antithesis in a conflict born of jealous rage.” Not the cleanest but it does get rid of the uncertain language, allowing more of the imagery to come through and condenses two paragraphs into one. It also cuts out 35 words. This doesn’t seem like a lot at first face but when applied to the entire text it adds up. Note that in the original, the fact that the Holy Flame created life is mentioned twice, some readers might glance over this, but when touching vulgar or taboo subjects it stands out. You’ll notice that the narrative uses perspective shifts rather often. This is good for peeking at secondary characters or even elements of the scenery to get angles that the main character can’t provide. It is very hard to pull off in a manner that doesn’t do more harm than good. In Duality’s case, we get head jumping at strange times with little benefit. A particularly severe example can be found when John encounters a thief in the forest. There’s a constant back and forth that delivers much of the same information a single perspective could with a delivery that feels broken up due to the number of times the readers have to reorient themselves. An example that’s more up in the air lies in the large section devoted to Dene’s early days in the North where we learn about and empathize more with her than John. The story, however, isn’t done yet; lodging a complaint on that end doesn’t seem fair. I will say that careful consideration needs to be paid to the amount of time spent on flashbacks and alternative perspectives overall. If overused, the story will become messy and laborious to follow. Other more minor but still damaging issues include misuse of commas, odd word choice, some inconsistent capitalization in the earlier chapters, and overuse of alternative dialogue tags. In its current state, I find it difficult to say whether or not I’d recommend Duality. The issues stated are much more pronounced before the 17th chapter where the quality takes a jump for the better. I believe that the story would do well with a few days worth of editing to bring the entire piece to a consistent level and iron more of the glaring issues out. Failing that, I’d recommend rewriting or deleting the earlier chapters entirely, as drastic a solution that may sound. Duality is not a bad piece by Webnovel’s standards, it just feels like it can be pushed to be much more. To that end, I sincerely hope that JohnnyKbca isn’t disheartened by my review, but sees this as an indication of their potential as a writer. Keep being awesome.

LV 13

LordSputnik

In a nutshell, it is fairly enjoyable! I'm not a fan of plot armor but I also understand that it is needed sometimes. I can tell your writing did start to improve later, hope you continue to grow as an author! Maybe I missed the part where is said John was black, but the black protagonist tag seemed odd when the guy on the cover looks white. As for Dene, her backstory felt very lengthy and probably could've been shortened up a bit. Other than that, I like where this is going and wish the release rate was better.

LV 4

ShinSungmi

The English used is understandable but there are few here and there grammatical errors. Correcting those would make the story better. Over all, the English used is alright but could be better. Even though the story is potentially good enough, the update rate is extremely slow, and this might discourage the readers to continue reading (from my personal experience) at some point. Despite these, the plotline is quite captivating, and if the update speed is increased, I would recommend it!

LV 3

Fiona_Singer

I started from the beginning for about seven chapters and jumped to 17th chapter like the author requested, and it is indeed a huge improvement, so it seems you are a quick learner in right direction. Good for you XD The writing is jerky--considering the author is still learning it's pretty understandable--but when reading it I don't really feel it's "bad", as in it hindered my understanding of the plots. Yes, it's bit plain, not quite enough of complexity and refinement, but it's simple and straightforward like you can understand it with a glance, making it effortless to read, which I would say may be a good thing to keep. In this part about writing style, I would suggest two things: 1. Try to get rid of some too oral or casual usage of language, for it might be acceptible for daily use, it won't be too proper for written form (I made that mistakes too sometimes XD); 2. Try to find your own style of writing, which means reading, writing and rewriting more to find a way to write that gives your work some personality. Doesn't have to be an eloquent one, just something you like and you feel like fitting your own characteristics. The story development was pretty standard reincarnation and cultivation at first, but I'm glad the author chose to better it with a more mature writing style and a more meaningful theme for the novel. Character design, too. I started very curious and hoping, since it's the first black MC novel I read on this site, and little bit disappointed when it seemed to be an ordinary webnovel work, but now I'm picking up the hope again after Chpt 17 XD. Not that I assumed black people are just always full-of-anger, but uniqueness is fundamental to literature and the topic of colors will be an interesting place to start, especially considering how white/yellow-MC predominant this website is. I'd personally look forward to the author recreating the struggle of black people in a fantasized world XD.

LV 4

VateRise

Let me start by saying, that I read it from 17th chapter, just like author asked. Truthfully, not a bad story, but there is some plot armour involved. I personally would prefer a more ******** version, but that is personally. Quality is there, all chapters I read I understood. I didn't have to wonder about meaning whatsoever. A few mistakes, but again 5 🌟 for quality. Release rate though. I understand that people are busy. But this site asks me to rate that, so I do. Character design is not bad, but then again, too many coincidences and many "good" characters appearing. World building is 5 🌟 I have nothing bad to say here. And then there is the story. If developed well, I'd say it will be a good novel to read. Keep up the good work, and work hard. You can make it to 1m views no problem.

LV 5

stella2138

writing:good Update:not too good STORY:VERY GOOD character:very good. one gets to feel with the characters and the world background is very good. please keep writing and feed us subjects

LV 3

CrescentWolf

First things first - Wow! The storyline is amazing in this and at first it was a bit complex but once I got my head round what was going I couldn't stop reading. Please keep writing because this is really good.

LV 4

Irelia

Stability of update:5* cant comment much on this point Unlike most reincarnarion novel, which tends to happen on the 1st chapter, this novel at least takes some time to explain the circumstances that led to the current situation of the MC. The mc is also one who kills,unlike many others so thumbs up on that. There were a few grammer mistakes here and there but nothing serious. The flow of the story and the pacing were relatively easy to picture and flow. The world background from the fantasy part onwards has to be explained alittle more in detail but at least it is not in info chuncks so another thumbs up on that.

LV 5

ILLYAchan

This story is good and will make the readers wait for more. It's well written and has a nice plot and characters although the story is still not finish so I'll look forward to the next chapters. Keep updating author!

LV 4

KhanQi

Although this book has only just started, I am very optimistic. The title is concise, but the content is not simple. The plot of the story is full of ups and downs, which fascinates people. I hope the author can persist in updating and bring good stories to more people.

LV 4

PeachyPearl

*Valid till chapter 18* I liked how you explained your terms that you would be using later in the novel because I am a newbie when it comes to cultivation novels, so I could understand what was happening thanks to your earlier explanation. The writing quality, is understandable and grammar wasn't too bad either. The trasitions between one incident to another was also quite good. I can't say that there weren't mistakes but as long as it doesn't hinder reading then it's not a big deal. Though there were a few events which are cliché (I won't give spoilers by pointing them here, so read it yourself people:) ) but using them in a good way is also necessary that you did. Nice work author. Fantastic story so far.

LV 3

JA_Anton

It seems the reincarnation plot is really quite popular these days :) Nothing against it though, and I must say this story mixes reincarnation with action and magic quite well. The idea of the 'awakening' is also a good addition. The premise of the novel, with the warrior levels and all, reminds me so much of an RPG game. The thing I liked the most about the story is the fact that the MC can kill. He's not one of those *****, pacifist MCs that could not strike a finishing blow due to morals and all. The development in John's abilities (the second life one) is also believable. He did train and wasn't just automatically strong without doing nothing. I find John really likable whether the past or the reincarnated him. I do have a few suggestions, and some issues I noticed (Please note that these are just my take. Feel free to use or ignore my comments as you see fit) The pacing of the story is okay since the author managed to show John's improvement as a warrior. However, I'm not fond of the way the author explained a lot of technicalities of the world in dialogues (during John's training with his mother). It was a lot of info to take in at once. Also, I don't have anything against third person omniscient POVS. But I don't think the POV of certain characters had to be included--specifically, those who eventually died a few paragraphs after their introduction. It just broke the flow of the narrative a bit for me. Writing-wise, I noticed a few minor grammar errors and some odd phrasings. Moreover, I think the author should check for some redundant statements. For instance: 'His plan was to find an opportunity to poison Verich.' I think this sentence is no longer necessary. It was already implied by the sentences that followed. Lastly, the author should also look into dialogue formatting. A comma follows a dialogue tag when writing statements. For the world background, I already have a good idea of the first world (John's first life with hints of military and CIA and all). But the fantasy world is still a bit vague for me. Beyond John and his mother, the forest and their house, I can't say much yet. To be fair, the novel is still ongoing, so perhaps the author would add more details in the next installments. Overall, this story has a good plot and an intriguing lead character. I did enjoy reading this, and I'm looking forward to how the story will progress in the next chapters.

LV 15

DeJeL

*Remember, this review is based on the first 5 chapters* Constructive Criticism: World layout and look explanations are a little lacking, in future give us more in this aria while not neglecting the others.;,;. Positive Feedback: Nice method of reincarnation.;,;. No dying by truck-kun here.;,;. Also, clearly explained what was to happen, at-least as clear as possible.;,;. Flowed well, and character, story, and world development. Personal Feedback: Well written story, I will be continuing to read this at a later date.;,;. please finish this novel.;,;. Scores: WQ 5/5 SoU 5/5 SD 5/5 CD 5/5 WB 4/5