บท 1: The first step to chaos
Kel stood in front of the door outside as he contemplated whether to enter or not, when a masked man suddenly appeared beside him and gestured him to go inside. The situation soon got awkward as he just stood there with a blank expression while staring at the weird masked man.
Although he appeared quite calm, he was quite freaked out inside.
'What the hell is going on? Where am i and who are you dude? Why are you wearing an ANBU mask? Is there an anime convention going on nearby, and how the fuck did u just 'poof' beside me?'
He knew he won't get his answers so he decided to do the most rational thing...turning back and walking away pretending this event never took place. But he soon understood that he had no choice in this matter as the ANBU quickly got hold of him and yeeted him inside the office.
As he got up and dusted his clothes he noticed an old man reading some culture material and smirking perversely. But the man soon changed his demeanor after noticing Kel looking at him with a strange expression.
*cough*..."I see that you have returned Kel, give me a brief of the mission"
Kel was quite flustered right now as he had no idea what the man was talking about but soon calmed down when information started popping up in his head.
"The porn comics were sold out hokage-sama, the last one was bought by jonin kakashi and I overheard him mumbling about selling it to someone else after reading it"
"....I see you can go now"
"Hai"
As soon as Kel got out he headed towards his home. It wasn't that hard to find it after he gained the memories. He went inside and quickly closed the door and set up a silencing seal.
'hmm...yup yup this is really bad, I abruptly transmigrated and now I'm in naruto and not just that im also a nameless character in canon....am I in a coma?'
"AAAAAAAAA fuck this shit I'm out, I never finished shippuden and my strength should be mediocre compared to those monsters! Sure I can survive for the most part but shit will hit the fan when shippuden starts."
'Haa~ calm down, there's no point in whining, I've read enough fanfics to get the basic plot. Hmm...naruto is still in the academy so I have a lot of time, I don't need to bother about the future arcs as orochimaru is none of my concern until he attacks at the tournament,....what happened after that?
Sasuke ran away, time skip, naruto reunites with sasuke and something important happens I guess? Akatsuki gets a debut, Madara attacks, Obito attacks....ahh whatever I just need to pretend to be as incompetent as possible and get injured on a mission to get into retirement. why bother about these things when the prophecy is already written in stone'
"But I should train myself, this body is quite agile and has a good affinity for water and earth ninjutsu along with a decent chakra reserve, kinda weird that I'm from the land of fire but meh, I'll take what i can get. The most important thing is to have a good understanding over space since I have no plans to stay in this world. Sure it might be a fun adventure and I have no family back on earth but what kind of sane modern man would choose violence when he can return to a moderately peaceful world!"
'Yea I just need to lay low and fuck up a mission to go to retirement but not before taking a peek at the scrolls over space. Let's just hope that fate doesn't go total ham on me and none of the missions are important for plot progression in canon..yea it shouldn't be that hard.
Meanwhile I should train with the shadow clones in taijutsu and try those cool water-bending techniques. I should also try sage mode.
..
...
THE HELL? why does this fodder ANBU know about these techniques.
Wasn't shadow clone supposed to be forbidden? why does the previous host know about the necessary steps for sage mode and why is the porn comic I was supposed to give to hiruzen on the bed? This body is shady. God I hope I'm not involved in some conspiracy.
*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*
'Hmm?....The fudge, is that a cell phone in my pocket?....ohoo~ I see I see, according to the memories I was saved by a kid with a Tenseigan and Rinnegan from the uchiha massacre before becoming an ANBU and I pledged my loyalty to this kid after he 'convinced' me. It seems I'm a spy right now and my so called master is awesome enough to get all the girls like hinata(loli) and tsunade-sama.....isn't this basically the reincarnation trope?. The kid gives off strong otaku vibes and is still expanding his harem.
...
....oh no
nonononon nope nada nay I refuse to get involved in this mess.
What evil have you set free upon this planet ROB? Why is kurama and sasuke genderbent!? and why is sakura so busty. Oi I know you exist, there is no other way for this world to derail so much form the plot unless something intervenes so answer me? How come some otaku got cheats but I get nothing, you didn't even tell me why I am transmigrated.'
[Ca%^ u@hi%# w^7hy&%&*not..]
???
[Kel uchiha! why aren't you picking up my call! Do you wish to anger this great one?]
'....!!!
telepathy! ah I need to respond quickly'
"Ah forgive me, I was spacing out, how may I be of service m-my l-lord?"
[It's good that you understand so listen closely, I have decided to change my plans, so we will soon unseal my future wife kaguya next month, thus I need you to become a missing-nin and cause enough chaos to distract zetsu, you will need more strength so i am sending you my divine blessing. Don't let me down]
".....I shall live up to your expectations"
"..."
"....."
"I guess he left?
Dang I'm going to go crazy, what is this loser spouting about future wife and stuff, shippuden hasn't even started yet. Well it's good that i get to run away but If I don't play it smart I might get chased by those zealot harem members"
Kel looked up to see a small panel with a gift box logo on it.
Yea divine blessing my ass!
The moment I willed it to open I heard a small voice in my head.
*Ding*
[Individual Kel has temporarily received the following:
1-Mangekyo sharingan (no chakra required)
2-Hashirama cells
3-Mind attack immunity
4-A jar of cum from the master sung-jin woo (please deliver the artifact to sasuke) ]
"...."
{A/N: sung jin woo is the name of the otaku kid}
".....Well I can't expect much from the edgy master so I guess I'll just dump the cum in the toilet. Who knows what's mixed in there."
I need to quickly get out of this hellhole. Judging from the memories I'm pretty sure the reincarnator wished for all wish-fulfilling possibilities, meaning the people of this world are probably following Hentai logic.
The kid told me to cause chaos so that zetsu can stay occupied right?
kekeke you want chaos eh? Oh I'll give you chaos alright. I just need to beat up all the antagonists and direct them to your bases, I also need to fake my death. This world's naruto is doomed no matter what and I honestly have no interests in hentai worlds, so it shouldn't be a problem if I take kurama. Based on what I have seen so far, naruto should also be a female because there's no way that degenerate would only genderbent sasuke and kurama...kurumi.
Stepping out of my house I quickly went to the forest to start prepping for my plans. It would've been really hard without my upgraded sharingan....
As soon as I activated it the world seemed to have faded out of existence and I was greeted with a vast expanse of white area with a 100 clones of myself standing in front of me waiting for orders.
That's right, the mangekyo sharingan teleports me to my own personal space where I can summon my clones to train efficiently. The clones have the same functions as shadow clones but they consume mental energy instead of chakra.
I instructed 50 of them to train in taijutsu and open up to 7 gates and 30 of them to train in water ninjutsu. 10 of them were now going to discuss the plans for future in order to make sure there is nothing I have missed.
While the last 10 would sleep for me to get rid of mental exhaustion. Time can be scaled here up to 10, so 10 days here is 1 hour in the real wolrd.
Welp time for maximum effort I guess.
[300 days later; 30 days irl]
A man suddenly materialized in the middle of the forest with tattered clothes and messy hair. He exuded an imposing aura which soon became a joke when a rumbling noise came out from his stomach.
Yes this was our crybaby Kel who had forgot almost all of his bare necessities like a lunatic and thought he could grind with infinite stamina to get to the top of the food chain.
Uwaa....I feel like I'm dying. I need to get some food or else I can say goodbye to my new life. Sung jin woo never put so much emphasis on food or taking a dump when grinding in the dungeons so I stupidly assumed I could make it, but I guess this is my limit.
Although it's quite absurd that I managed to stay alive for 300 days without food. Must be some cheat passive gift from that kid's system. Hentai systems are probably pretty generous with stamina stats.
Making my way out of the forest, I headed to the market to purchase food and went home. I was tempted to try out the famous ramen but I feel like I'll run into trouble if I go there.
But the most pressing matter is what I am going to do in the future. I don't know if some pervert yandere goddess is keeping an eye on the reincarnator so I can't possibly fight them. It's also possible that she would give him some weird techniques to call upon the other goddesses and occupy his body to fight for him so I really don't have many ways to fight this guy.
Yup I have no reason to interfere in this guy's dream world. Maybe it's for the best if he wins since a lot of people would get saved from the upcoming war. It may be quite disgusting to see this loser get all the girls but it's not like all girls are in his harem. I just need to use this dude to kill zetsu and madara and then kill him when he lets his guard down.
I just need to fake my death when I fight zetsu and escape.The modified blood clone I developed should help in this matter.
[Mountain's Graveyard; zetsu's hideout] {A/N: i got this from the fandom page}
*Du Du Du*
*Boom Boom*
Sounds of explosions ran out as the battlefield was riddled with small craters while zetsu and obito fought off the ANBU. Obito was quite frustrated since nothing was going according to plan after they were intercepted by these ninjas form konoha. The ANBU countered every attack with his bizzare methods while the rest of the ANBU sent by the Hokage kept placing space restriction seals to prevent Obito from phasing. Zetsu wasn't helping either. He seemed to be in some sort of trance as soon as a genjutsu was placed upon him. He was constantly mumbling something about a mother while two ANBUs kept placed various seals on him.
I'm lucky that Itachi didn't intervene after I told him about sasuke being held hostage.
*Clank Clank*
Boiling water in the form of chains kept encroaching Obito as he constantly avoided contact with them. The poison mixed in the water would end him the moment it touched his skin and entered his system. It would've been easy to phase through the attacks, however that wasn't an option anymore. The steam given off by the chains also released a faint trace of poison which hindered his combat ability and the earth kept rotating at constant intervals while also changing into mud occasionally the moment he let his guard down.
It soon got worse when the ANBUs took off their masks and displayed deformed faces of Rin to enrage obito, it kept eating away at his sanity until he could no longer endure the mocking of his lover and decided to annihilate everything with a great fireball.
It would've worked if not for the poison acting up and blocking his windpipe with blood.
The chance was not wasted as 6 jonins stabbed him and later exploded his body with the explosive tags. Obito would've escaped if not for the ANBU leading this mission holding him down until the end. He sacrificed himself for konoha and his leftover body parts were brought back to base to be buried.
************
"Hokage sama we were unable to find any clues from the disappearance of the jinchuriki. It possible that ninjas from another village took him away since no signs of struggle was present it was concluded that the boy cooperated with the ninjas since he was ostracized by the people of konoha"
{A/N: Henatai world's naruto has less ambition since the world was tailored for the reincarnator}
"The boy must be retrieved no matter what. We cannot let go of a jinchuriki. If the other villages found this out, they might initiate a war using their jinchurikis. Find the boy before things get out of hand!"
"""Hai""""
********
"M-mother! where are you?"
'Huh what happened to the base, were we under an attack? Was i under a genjutsu? But how, this shouldn't have worked on me?'
As black zetsu tried to piece the information together, white zetsu came back witha piece of paper with an infuriated face.
The paper had a message which read [I HAVE YOUR MOM UNDER ME. COME AND STOP ME IF YOU CAN] along with the location of the place.
".....We're going to march to these bases with the entire army, I don't know how this guy knows of mother but we can't let this guy go!!!.
Send a few of the white zetsu to scout this place. The plan is already ruined. We'll destroy this village no matter what!"
*Crumble*
*********
"Good job distracting zetsu Kel. Moreover you also brought the jinchuriki with you. I was already planning to do that but you saved a lot of my time, now I can remove the seals to turn naruko back to her original female form. Though I need some time to free kurumi, it's still a profit."
" Thank you master, but may I take a break. I was injured during this fight and need time to recuperate"
"Hmm...oh yea sure have fun. Now get out, It's time for me to play with my slaves. Tsunade is still reluctant to wear her collar so I need so discipline her a bit."
"....I shall take my leave the..!!!!"
"What now Kel?"
"P-poison....keukk ughh m-my lord save me!"
"Ahh you should've been careful. I'm not your babysitter, your death will not be in vain. Don't worry I'll make sure your body is properly buried.
"keukk...Blarghh....w-what but....ackkk...guegh "
"ughh....disgusting.
Guards take him away and dump his body somewhere."
***********
Hmm looks like the blood clones succeeded in doing their jobs. I now need to just dye my hair black and wait for the upcoming shitstorm. Keke I wonder what his expression would be after he becomes a jinchuriki.
It's unfortunate that the gifts are no longer available but I've managed to get stronger, now all that's left is to see it all play out and live a comfortable life as a civilian.
***********
[The next day]
*Thump* *Thump*
"..."
*Thump* Thump*
"...."
"....Oi yukino is it just me or is there an army heading in this direction"
".....I-it's ok misako, I'm sure master Jin has some plans for them. T-there's no way they could win against master, he is the strongest afterall.
"Y-yea we shoul...guhh...aackk"
Yukino couldn't finish her words as she saw a hand pierce her heart as her vison soon turned dark. The last thing she saw was misako's head being crushed under a white humanoid figure's foot.
"Let's destroy the gates to the village entrance after setting some chaos inside this place. Those space restriction seals we copied have already been placed around the perimeter and the barrier seals have been replaced with fake ones. It's quite absurd that this village is ruled by a kid but we shouldn't underestimate them.
"Agreed. Let's regroup with the army after destroying their weapon storage. These 'mechanical bombs' in the storage are more destructive than the tags"
*****************
*Boom Boom*
"What the hell is going...w-what the fuck!?"
From his balcony Jin could see an army of zetsus approaching the village while most the advanced weapons he had stored got destroyed. A lot of soldiers were injured and most of the fanatic slaves went to his temples to pray.
"Hmph! who are these pests master. You should hurry up and deal with them, I want to play more with you." Sakura(loli) said with a sultry look but Jin was too busy to take heed of her words.
{A/N: i'm not a lolicon. i just wanted to show how bad the reincarnator is....}
Damn it. Did they follow kel back to the base. I can't win against so many zetsus unless I don't get kurumi. I'm sorry naruko but even though you won't die, the extraction method will be painful, but it's all for the sake of mankind!
Jin quickly went to the room where naruka was sleeping and quicly bound her with ropes and initiated the extraction with the system's aid.
Soon, a blood curling scream resounded inside the room and Jin came out. He had subdued kurumi since she was still angry and he didn't have time to appease her. So he used the system too forcefully use her powers.
Naruko was conscious but she was quite traumatized by all this. It was just another day at the academy but an ANBU suddenly cast a genjutsu and brought her here. The next day a balck haired man came and took some weird fox thing out of her. Was it an exorcism or something. She didn't know what was happening but she decided to follow her instincts and run away first.
The moment she got up, a small parchment with the escape route fell off from her pocket with instructions to escape and block off all the other escape routes.
She didn't know who did this but figured it was the only way to get out of this place.
{A/N: there are no love interests from the naruto world}
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