บท 20: 2.2 Young love
They said their goodbyes to Mr.Morris and sat in their carrige heading home, north. The Morris residence was at the other end of their house so they had a long journey back. Shu XinYi was settling accounts and looking through Xavi's notebook during the ride. He had managed finance and business in more than one world during his time of wandering, so he was better in business then he would admit so.
Xavi had written the names of all the people he trusted and didn't trust for trading. He really was an efficient young boy even at the age of 18. The fleat to City X should not only succeed in selling the products but also maintaining their good reputation, so for the first caravan Shu XinYi decided to go himself to settle the situation.
The Xalvadore house was a European style mansion. With a courtyard, a stable, side houses and a lake at the other side. It really was a house of nobility more than a merchants. Shu XinYi found that Xavi didn't have a personal servent or an adviser at all. Even Aldo had an adviser. Was Xavi too confident in himself or did he just not fully trust anyone. It could be called a shortcoming but also a strong point.
Shu XinYi entered the house without talking to anyone and went to his room. His previous emotional feat had settled when he saw that Leo seemed okay for now and his breathing was normal.
Xavi's own mother had died a few years after giving birth to him because of an illness. Father Aldo never mistreated her and always cared for both his wives but be was a businessman after all. How much time could he really spend in the house?
Xavi treated everyone the way they would deserve to be treated according to him. First Mother was a very moody women who lived for riches and rarely cared for her any of her daughters. Isabel and Xavi both were close to each other because of their age similarity. Shu XinYi too liked Isabel who was a well tempered girl and lived a curious and jumpy life.
Shu XinYi later went to Isabel's room and knocked. Isabel invited her in saying "Brother Xavi, you are back! have you had lunch? Give me 15 minutes I will make some chicken mushroom stew for you."
"Izzi, why are you always so full of energy? I have already told the servents to make some proper lunch and you can join me downstairs. Here I bought this for you on the way back. A lady on the street said she made it with the stones of life and it brings good luck."
It was a beautiful stone bracelet that Shu XinYi had bought for his sister. Isabel's eyes and smile both widened as she looked at Xavi and then the bracelet. She thanked brother and then wore the bracelet looking at herself in the mirror satisfied. "Brother why did Elder sister Elena go with you as well?"
"Father wanted to take her. I don't know the reason. Let's go down and eat now ok. I asked Miss Lisa to cook today especially for you since you like whatever she makes."
Shu XinYi saw as Isabel's face visibly blushed after he said this. Huh? Shu XinYi didn't even have to try thinking and he knew. Isabel liked Miss Lisa, the lady butler who was around 24 years. A young and beautiful Lady. Good choice Shu XinYi thought. He had met Miss Lisa downstairs just now and he had to admit that she looked someone from nobility. Obviously this kind of thing happening in the middle ages was no good but Shu XinYi didn't care.
He didn't trust Miss Lisa enough right now so he would have to investigate. He behaved like he didn't know anything and just went downstairs for lunch with Isabel. Father was as usual not at home for lunch so Shu XinYi went to call First Mother and sister Elena for lunch. First mother behaved like a rich noble, she wasn't kind at all to the servents which created a very gloomy environment amoung the house servents whenever she came out of her room.
Shu XinYi didn't like this sort of behavior neither did Xavi so First Mother behaved well in front of him, since he was the next heir of the family. The lunch was good, Miss Lisa really did have some talent for cooking. If this kind of food was sold in the market, It would sell really well. Shu XinYi saw as Isabel deliberately ate clumsily and Miss Lisa wiped her face for her from time to time. Shu XinYi smiled a little at this behaviour. He used to do the same when he was with LiFeng. He shook his head and thought of Leo.
Since he came back he saw Elena but didn't see Leo around her. Where did he go. He lived in one of the side houses but he also had a room in the main house. The other workers weren't treated harshly either. This really upset First Mother but she stayed quiet.
Leo also ate around the same time on a different table with other servents but he wasn't present on that table either. He looked towards Elena asking "Elder sister, Where is Leo? I have something to talk about with him."
First Mother spoke up "Child why do you ask Elena, why would she know where that lazy servent is?"
How oblivious was she to what was going on in her house? Shu XinYi politely replied "Mother, Leo serves Elena diligently and never leaves her side that's why I asked when I didn't see him around. Sister Elena is something of the matter?"
"Nothing much Brother Xavier. He just felt a little sick from the journey so he went to rest in his quarters." Shu XinYi nodded at this answer and thought, This is pure BS. He had seen that Leo was in a stable mood all ride and even smiled while talking to him. Now just an afternoon past since he left him and he fell sick. It sounded dumb. He nodded his head and filled a plate for Leo.
As he was standing up Elena's eyes widened and she panicked saying "Brother Xavi where are you going? Leo .. he he has already slept. Later I will send someone to give him lunch."
Warning (Gore self harm)
"No need, I have something important to talk about with him and the matter cannot be delayed. If he is sleeping then I will just wake him up." Shu XinYi continued walking and his pace fastened. What the hell did that witch do to Leo? Leo might look sane but inside his mind is a mess, any sort of simulation will trigger a different reaction. He didn't even hesitate to harm himself, like he deserves it. It is sick and pathetic.
Shu XinYi wanted to be angry at Leo and shout at him to fix himself but when he entered his room and saw the bloody mess Leo was in, Shu XinYi lost his mind. His hands were shaking so much that the plate dropped out of his hands. He was so scared to see the sight, Leo wasn't moving at all and the bloody kitchen knife had already fallen from Leo's clenched hands as if his body had lost strength. His right hand was covered in deep bloody gashes.
Shu XinYi's whole body was shaking in fear and pain. He was too afraid to do anything so he ran outside the room to call a the family nurse. He didn't dare go near Leo. He just stood there in daze as a nurse came and wiped the blood of his hands. As she stitched his his palm and forearm. He had lost a lot of blood and hence, lost consciousness. He should be fine with some regular nourishment and care. The nurse told him.
Shu XinYi was angry. He wouldn't allow Leo to stay an other second with Elena but he knew that was impossible, atleast for now. He calmed his nerves and walked back to the dining lounge which had already emptied. Elena had been informed of Leo's condition and told that he will not be serving her for a while. Elena just made a worried face nodding her head. Previously she had blamed Leo indirectly for that all the suffering his mother faced was because of him. Saying that she was scared she would face the same if she stayed with Leo.
Leo was only thinking about how he couldn't save his mother. The worst part was he didn't feel sad when any of it happened. He just felt empty like someone had taken his heart only leaving a gaping hole, making him something inhuman. All he felt now was guilt. Guilt that he didn't feel sad, guilt that he couldn't save his mother, and guilt that someone who saved him would face a bad ending because of him. He wanted to hurt himself so much until all of that guilt was washed off. Until he was clean. Until he was human.
END OF WARNING
Shu XinYi didn't rant, he didn't get angry at anyone nor did he cry. He just silently walked to the kitchen to make some chicken soup and brewed some medical herbs to make tea. He waited until all was done then he put in a tray bringing it to Leo's room. Naturally none of the servents stopped him since he was the young master.
He could tell that Leo was feeling guilty or blamed himself for something. Obviously this is what left him vulnerable. If he didn't want to harm himself then no one else could. He saw that Leo was still soundly sleeping. He walked towards the bed and placed the dish on the table. Sitting himself down on the chair beside the bed. He didn't want to leave Leo's side nor did he want to wake him up from his sleep. so he just rested on the chair waiting for him to wake up. Shu XinYi dozed off without him knowing and had a very strange dream.
He was in an endless white space with many corridors. He looked at his right to find a panicked man. He heard his own body say "LiFeng, this ... what do we do. The evolution system has made a very complicated firewall. Even I can't break through it."
He felt a hand rubbing his ear the man beside him wanted to speak when the white space started flashing with red lights. "Intruder, Intruder" Shu XinYi felt himself panic and before he could say anything he heard the man beside him say "Run, get out of here. I will find a way to break this firewall and I will definitely find you. You can't stay here. Just please remember me and remember that I love you. I love you Shu XinYi."
Before Shu XinYi could comprehend anything the man took out a device from his pocket and created a black hole type space in the wall. He kissed Shu XinYi very obsessively and then pushed Shu XinYi outside. All this happened in 4 seconds and Shu XinYi could only stare wide eyed shouting with all his might "XUE LIFENG .. YOU BASTARD. he saw that the man only painfully smiled and the opening closed, leaving Shu XinYi to fall into darkness. Before waking up he heard his own little voice say "Please don't die again LiFeng."
Shu XinYi woke up with a start to find a pair of pheonix eyes looking at him. He heard Leo ask "Who is LiFeng?"
"YOU BASTARD! Why are you an Idiot? Don't you have a little sense? I thought you died. Do you think your life is a joke? I will punch you if you do shit like this again. DUMBASS. HUMPH." Shu XinYi was angry. He didn't know if it was because of the dream he couldn't fully remember or because of the fact that Leo looked so carefree like the one who almost died was not him. He saw that Leo was just looking at him making an innocent face like he really didn't do anything wrong and was being scolded for something he didn't do.
"Don't make that face. Idiot. EAT." Shu XinYi pointed to the broth which looked like it had gone cold. Leo didn't even think before he picked up the cold broth to eat. Shu XinYi's voice lowered by a lot as he said "Tch, don't eat it when it's like this. I will send a nurse to renew your bandages while I go and make the broth again."
"You made this? For me? Why?" Leo asked curiously, why would brother Xavier cook for him?
"Because I wanted to. Have a problem?" Shu XinYi's arrogant farce was really not holding up and he looked like a little bunny, with his peach blossom eyes still stained red from the sleep.
"No Xavi, I want to thankyou for taking care of me." Leo felt happy.
"Who cares for an idiot like you. Why did you... why did you do this?" Shu XinYi's voice was almost non existent at this point but Leo heard him. Why did he do this? He didn't know, guilt and shame had overcome him making him want to vomit, but right now it felt like nothing was wrong with his life. He looked down at his hands and removed the bandages to see an ugly gash. He didn't feel a lot of pain but when he saw that Xavi had visibly paled looking at his wounds, Leo's heart hurt. He didn't want to see Xavi in pain.
Shu XinYi couldn't look but he felt that he should change the bandage since it would infect him wearing the same one for long. Shu XinYi went out and brought a first aid box. Taking out alcohol and cleaning the stich wounds with it slowly. His hands were shaking but he did his best to remain calm and looked to face Leo from time to time to see if Leo was in pain.
Leo found it a bit amusing that Xavi seemed more in pain although he was the one injured. He touched his ear and rubbed it with his uninjured hand and asked, "If I tell you it hurts will you feel better or will you feel better if I tell you that it doesn't hurt?"
"Idoit. I will feel better if you don't do this in the first place. Instead of asking me to decide how you feel why don't you accept your true feelings. If it hurts you then it hurts you. If it doesn't then it doesn't and if it does hurt then don't just sit enduring the pain alone or avoiding it completely. You cry out."
Both of them stayed silent while Shu XinYi cleaned his wounds. Shu XinYi didn't feel weird when Leo touched his ear like it was a natural thing to do. He felt too thoughtless right now. The coincidences were piling up but he didn't want to give himself fake hope. It was not like he loved Leo, he was only doing all this to make Leo fall out of Elena's control. Yes that's right, this is all for the world disruption and out of some pity.
Leo meanwhile didn't understand why he wanted to do everything he can to keep Xavi away from pain. The night Xavi cried and today too. Both times because of him, Xavi was in pain. He hated the feeling. One more thought loomed in his mind that brother Xavi looked cute like a little bunny. If it hurts you it hurts you and if it does hurt you cry out. Xavi says this, but how should he tell Xavi that before this moment, he really did not feel pain that he couldn't endure. He still wanted to assure Xavi that he was no longer angry and in pain.
"I won't do this again. I am sorry okay. It is almost dinner time you should leave, master will be back."
"You haven't eaten yet. I will send someone with food. Tomorrow I will be leaving but you have to take care of yourself alright."
"Leaving? For City X. Xavi City X is a trade hub when you go there be sure to make some connections. Is father willing to sell in wholesale or retail over there?" Leo had diligently learned about business matter while staying in this family.
"I know I know. Father says that making a shop there will take a lot of time and money. Who knows when Mr.Morris will change his mind. Taking back the seal."
"Then how about I accompany you and we can see the situation and market rates for renting or buying a shop? If it is feasible it will better to enter the City through city gates as land owners then we won't have to rely on Mr.Morris to enter." Leo knew that although he was a servent both Master Aldo and brother Xavi listened to his opinions. Mostly those opinions were him saying sister Elena's words but right now he wasn't.
"Hmm okay then. Tell Elena she can come too we will be leaving early tomorrow morning." Shu XinYi hated to admit it, but separating him and Elena would not help Leo, it may even make Leo hate him for doing so.
"Elena? Does she have to come?" Leo.
"Wouldn't you want her to come?" Shu XinYi.
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