บท 2: Greeting the Town and Entering the Guild
"Oh!" I yelped, taken completely aback from the action, my ass now stinging pleasantly.
"Hi Darkness! Bye Darkness!" Yunyun waved happily and darted back to the door.
The two arch-wizards left quickly, leaving me in complete shock.
Yunyun, the meek and timid little girl that she is, just walked over and smacked my rear with everything she had. If there was anyone to test the legitimacy of these earrings, she would be it. If it was a prank then Yunyun would not be as easily paid off as Kazuma and Aqua. No, if Yunyun got changed then maybe this was legit.
In my confusion I missed Kazuma and Aqua saying they'd be going to the guild for lunch and wishing goodbye to Wiz and Vanir, leaving me behind.
"...Moi sees the look on your face and the feelings in your heart. Moi could be insulted by you doubting the legitimacy of my offers but he chooses to ignore them for now." Then he raised his gloved finger to my face. "A few more ground rules. No going for the demon king, and try to not provoke his armies or lieutenants anymore than you need to. Moi doesn't want to be on that guy's shitlist just for trying to have some fun." He raised a second finger, "Moi has final say on normalities so if your heart of a noblewoman comes out then things will get unpleasant. Don't make Moi regret picking you for this power."
"This is a lot to process Vanir. You're not even giving me a lot of choices to use them. It sounds like I have to use them for… personal gain?" I asked and he nodded like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Wait, weren't you going to give the earrings to Kazuma?"
"The stupid boy with no sense of curiosity made his bed. Moi only offered him the chance because Moi knew he would give them to you, deepening his despair once he realises all that he missed out on!"
"And why didn't you put them on?"
His expression loosened a bit as he looked out the window. "Oh, Moi did. He did it all. Attained wealth and power and had the world bow to his feet. You were there, feeling fear and powerlessness. Moi achieved everything he dreamed! But felt hollow. Human despair does not taste as sweet as that he had earned. Wished it all back to how it was and took the earrings off. They're designed more for the perverted anyway, and Moi has no need for sex or titillation being made of dirt. No, Moi is content just to help now. Watch the world crumble from someone else's hands."
"B-but w-"
"Bzzt. Question time over." He raised his fingers to form an X. "Give the item one week before any attempt to remove them. I will not accept returns until a proper grace period has been met. If you're not satisfied after one week then Moi will remove them free of charge."
"O-oh okay. A week?" Even with the spine tingling smile I considered his offer. "A week. I can last that long. I'll be good and just keep to myself. Then you can get them off me and I can go back to being free. This is an unbreakable demon promise, yeah?"
He once more rolled his eyes at me. "Yes yes. The noble slut who just wished everyone to slap her ass will absolutely give up her power, we all believe it." He then practically shoved me out the door. "Now get out there and use your gifts!"
The door slammed shut behind me. I was going to go back in there to give that demon a piece of my mind but decided to go and… greet some people instead.
--
I walked with a sense of eager caution through the streets of Axel.
Anyone could wander up to me at any moment and 'greet' me. To just walk over to me and treat me like a common whore. It felt like when I had travelled the streets of Alcanretia as an Eris worshipper.
I got about half way to the tavern before I realised that not a single person had even acknowledged me, let alone greet me. The town square I was in wasn't bursting with people but it was still fairly busy. It was these darn earrings, they made me that weird level of invisible so no one was saying hello to me. I quickly remedied that by finding a small adventuring party walking through and chatting amongst themselves.
There were four of them, two guys and two girls. The girls were leading the way and chatting while the two guys seemed either bored or distant.
"Hello! I'm Darkness!" I said while shunting my ass out towards them.
The blonde spiky one looked at me quizzically. "Hm? Oh uh hey."
"Can we help you?" Asked the black haired girl. "We're sort of in a hurry."
"Well… I just wanted to say hello. And… all that entails." I mumbled. My face was reddening up. Half from excitement and half from embarrassment. If Vanir was lying to me…
The fear broke with my yelp as I got slapped in the ass. "Come on guys, it's not hard to be a little friendly is it?" I turned to see the flowery brown haired girl had sneaked around to be my first public slapper.
"T-thank you!" I instinctively blurted out, not sure what else to say to her in this situation. Her smile seemed to indicate it was the right choice.
Her attitude also broke the rest of the group. The spiky haired boy walked up and smacked his gloved hand into me next. It was quite a lot more fierce than the girl, but I did notice him stop to admire his work for a second, much to his own embarrassment. "Sorry…" he mumbled while looking away.
"I-it's okay. Thank you!"
He nodded and the raven haired girl was next. "Hope you're tough enough for this." She smiled while flexing a muscle.
When she slapped me I jumped nearly a foot off the ground.
Her strength stat must have been through the roof. Even with the warning I didn't expect such a powerful strike. My defence was one of the greatest in the land and she managed to send me flying! "Ahn! Thank you very much!"
She bowed her head slightly and they all turned to the last one of the group. The guy was built like a castle, standing a couple feet above the other three.
The huge short-haired gentleman with sunglasses on just huffed, showing off his arm that had an axe where his hand should be. "Sure you want to say hello to me?"
His team gave him a sound of disgust with the blonde guy slapping his humongous arm.
"Not cool dude."
He shrugged off the shorter man but still walked over to me.
"Aww, I was just playing. Think I'd mess up an ass this fine?" He said, promptly using his human hand to deliver the second strongest slap I'd received from the group. Even though I thoroughly enjoyed his rough manner and actions he still received glares from his party. "Err... sorry Miss. Even though it's a normal greeting, we really are in a hurry and I got impatient."
"N-no worries! Thank you!" I chirped, enjoying the pain flowing through my rear. "I won't keep you any longer!"
"Bye Darkness!" waved the nice woman who started the chain as the four walked off.
I heard them talk a bit as they left. "Man. That better not have made us late for our rendezvous with Jessie." grumbled the big guy.
"You said we needed to keep a low profile. Better to play along with the normal day-to-day stuff for now." said the blonde one.
"And~ we could just be nice. Would have been done quicker if you just slapped her straight away."
"She's right, you know. If you want to get to Jessie quicker then pick up those feet, slowpoke!" Was the last thing I heard the raven haired girl say.
It was time for me to make my own tracks. I was right by the guild where Kazuma and Aqua were, but there were plenty of people coming out of it that I could say 'hello' to now that I knew the trick.
This was going to be fun.
-- (Perspective Shift: Satou Kazuma) --
It was just coming up to the closing of lunch when we had arrived at the guild. Me and Aqua were sitting at a table. Our food and drink in front of us, we were just casually munching away and chatting. It felt like old times before we'd met the other two and become a proper party… and the way she disgustingly chomped away at her meal definitely didn't make me miss it even an ounce.
Megumin has gone off on her quest now, but what about the other one?
Well, our crusader was running around greeting everyone she could. Sometimes some people twice. It was pretty average of her, yet a small twinge of annoyance burned somewhere deep inside me. I shrugged it off though, it was probably just her leaving me alone with the Greedess in front of me. The arch-priest wolfing down another fucking leg of toad meat. Honestly, where does she put it all?
Darkness finally sat down in front of us with a gasp melting into a lewd smile.
"Oh! It stings so good…" She hummed, rubbing her ass.
" Rephucn iegrephae. Perrae hear gomphreth ewe affeay. " Aqua… spoke? Her gross mouth full of chewed up toad meat roughly translated to: I can imagine, people have been greeting you all day today.
"Chew." I warned and kicked her under the table. I turned to Darkness. "You've gotta be used to it by now though right? Considering it's normal for that to happen."
Aqua swallowed her mouthful then agreed. "Yeah, if anything the people greeting you weren't prepared for how tough your ass was. That defence stat of yours really hurt their slapping hand."
"My ass is not hard!" She blurted out.
She was interrupted by Luna slapping her ass.
"Ow. I dunno Darkness." She said waving her injured palm around. "You could at least get the armour away from down there."
"...I'm not wearing any armour…" She said with a sigh.
"Ah." Luna replied, looking awkwardly away. "Well can I get anything else for you guys?"
--
Luna left after she delivered us another round of drinks. I wouldn't normally have so much alcohol at lunch but Darkness seemed her regular level of insistence so we went along with it. Aqua obviously was not denying a free chance to wet her beak.
"Ahhh! What a great day this turned out to be!" She exclaimed after a swig of her drink. "I don't know how Vanir did it but these earrings let me be as perverted as I want! The world is my oyster!"
I turned to Aqua. "So what are you gonna do with your day off?"
She considered the question. "Hmm. Probably go home and relax a bit. We had those long days of questing recently and I'm feeling lazy."
"H-hey!" Darkness spoke up again. "Maybe I should change something else! Like making everyone spit at me on the street! Shout harmful remarks to me wherever I go!"
I turned to Aqua. "Lazy sounds pretty good right now. My muscles really feel tense after hauling all that monster meat to that noble's house."
Aqua nodded but looked a little sad. "Makes sense... Too bad about that guys' pet. He really didn't seem happy about what happened to his dragon."
"I'll have a parade to my shame! They'll tie me up behind a slow moving horse so everyone can throw rotten fruit and kick me!"
I shrugged, "He shouldn't have hired us if he wanted a job done well. People really ought to know about Megumin's tendencies by now."
Suddenly I was grabbed by Darkness. "I'll get everyone in the guild to ravage me right here! On this table! What do you think about that Kazuma?!"
What did I think? Wasn't it nothing to think about? "Whatever."
She shook my shoulders desperately, my head flopping around. "I could do it! Everyone here could be bent to all of my perverted whims Kazuma! Doesn't that make you angry?! Don't you want to scold me?! Yell?!"
"Not really Darkness. You haven't really done anything unusual."
"N-Nothing?! Well, h-ho-how about-!" She reached down and grabbed my dick through my pants. "T-this!" It flexed a little at her touch but nothing else really happened.
"What about it?" I asked.
She looked at me like she normally would; terrified. "...eh? Seriously? No… t-this can't be happening…"
I just went back to my conversation with Aqua. We were planning to see what minor quests needed to be done in the next few days but after lunch we'll head home. There was probably some fun to be had there, even if it's just counting my money from Vanir.
My frog meat landed plainly against the floor. Of course it had been after Darkness' chest plate collided with it. She had begun stripping herself down in the way that she would, now just wearing her black shirt that she wears under her armour. "This will be my final attack to break your spell Kazuma! If the sight of your favourite breasts to stare at, bared to the world, doesn't get you excited then I don't know what else will!" Her hands gripped either side of the lining of the tight shirt, "I-I-I'll do it! E-everyone here will see my t-tits Kazuma!"
"Yeah, that's what's going to happen if you open your shirt Darkness."
"B-but- won't I be embarrassing you?! They'll all know what kind of woman you have on your team!"
"They already know I have her on there." I gestured to Aqua.
"Hey!" She moaned and kicked my leg lightly. "Just let Darkness show her boobies to the guild Kazuma. Why do you have to be mean to me?"
I shrugged. "I'm not stopping her."
"Then don't be mean to me!" She pouted. "I thought you'd want to see her big boobies, you pervert trash!"
You'd think so, but the prospect seemed rather plain right now. I couldn't even really think of why. "I said I'm not stopping her."
"F-Fine!" Shouted Darkness. "Then here!"
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