บท 4: Chapter 4: Ed

"Huff… Huff! Huff!"

"Chii… Chii! Chii!"

It was a weird sight, truly. On the left was a muscular rat the size of a human arm standing on two feet, curling a heavy barbell made from all sorts of trash… and beside him was a napkin covered and oozing with a glowing green sperm, all working out by lifting heavy trash over its goo-like body.

"Why am I even doing this when I don't have any muscles!?" But after a few more lifts, Lucian slammed the heavy trash to the side. Unlike the mutated rat who was clearly gaining muscles from what he was doing, Lucian was just wasting his time.

"Chii…" The mutated rat saw through Lucian's frustration, and the only thing he could really do was let out a sigh of disappointment at him.

"What do you mean I'm giving up!? I'm not giving up!" Lucian pointed at the mutated rat with its entire body, "How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not getting stronger with this? We should just hunt more of whatever these things are again!"

Lucian then quickly crawled toward a pile of what seemed to be the carcass of a cockroach, but it was even bigger than the mutated rat and had 12 limbs.

The carcass was already mostly eaten, but Lucian climbed on top of it and crawled toward its head, where a little green glow could still be seen oozing out from its bite wounds.

"Do you see this? This is a concentrated radioactive chemical, like some of the trash in our kingdom," Lucian pointed at the mountain of trash. It no longer, however, had the previous glow it had when Lucian happened upon it, "My body absorbs the radiation, and I don't know how, but I feel like I am getting stronger through it."

"Chii…?" The mutated rat only tilted his head to the side as he dropped his barbell.

"I swear, sometimes I think I'm just talking to myself here," Lucian sighed in his mind. And very soon, the radiation from the giant 12-legged cockroach also faded away, "And now it's gone. Look at what you did."

"Hss…"

"See? Ms. Reptile gets it!" Lucian then quickly rushed toward the mutated reptile as she slithered out of the mountain of trash. Lucian started circling around the reptile, only stopping when she picked him up from the ground, "Ack, put me down! Your human titties are touching me and it's so weird!"

Lucian struggled, but the reptile did not let him go at all. Lucian's struggle did not really last for long as he was afraid he might hit the reptile's pregnant belly.

Lucian initially questioned whether or not the mutated rat was actually the father, but he saw something that completely convinced him that he was… and he would rather erase it from his mind.

"Hss…"

"Chii…!?"

"Hss. Hss!"

"C…chi? Chi."

The mutated rat let out a long and very deep sigh as he shook his head. But after a few seconds, it turned around and gestured to Lucian to follow him.

"Yes!" Lucian leaped out of the reptile's arms; some of his ooze, sticking onto the reptile's breasts and stretching before returning to his body,

"Finally, we are going to hunt again! I'm starting to get tired of this view."

Lucian then crawled beside the mutated rat, who was cocking his arms almost as if reloading it.

"So badass," Lucian nodded in his mind. The two then continued to walk across the large sewer, and despite Lucian saying he was getting tired of the view at their home… it was the same everywhere.

Dark, damp, murky, and dirty; the water that was violently flowing across the canal.

Very soon, however, the mutated rat stretched his arm to the side and stopped walking. Lucian wondered why, but as soon as he saw a group of mutated rats, very much like his mutated rat, riding on giant botflies with human fingers as legs, Lucian quickly moved closer to the mutated rat and touched him on the leg.

"Hoarders…" Lucian clicked his imaginary tongue as he looked at the Hoarders; identified by the large 'X' scar on their back.

"Chii!!!" And as soon as the group of hoarders saw the mutated rat, they all quickly pointed at him; carrying forks and knives.

"Chi." Lucian's mutated rat, however, did not allow himself to be fazed at all as he stood his ground. The hoarders, however, did not seem to like this at all.

"Chii!? Chi… Chi?" The one who seemed to be the leader of this group of Hoarders dismounted from his botfly.

"Yes, we do dare!" Lucian and the mutated rat looked at each other, and as soon as they did so, the Hoarder Leader ran toward them; brandishing his knife and swinging it wildly.

"Amateur!" Lucian quickly crawled toward the Hoarder Leader, moving in front of his feet and tripping him. And before the Hoarder Leader could drop to the floor, the Mutated Rat rolled below him before just grabbing him by the leg and arm.

"Chii!" The Mutated Rat then lifted the Hoarder Leader above his head and let out a roar — and with that as his only warning, he ripped the Hoarder Leader completely in half by pulling him apart.

"Raah!" Lucian also let out a war cry in his mind; his sperm-filled napkin body, almost convulsing in excitement.

And as soon as the other Hoarders saw their leader being split in half, none of them really stayed and just quickly flew away.

"Hop!" The Hoarder Leader's botfly was also going to fly away on its own, but a long string of ooze shot out from Lucian's body and attached itself to the botfly, forcefully pulling it back to the ground.

And before it could struggle to fly away again, the Mutated Rat dug its arm through its eyes and killed it instantly.

"Chi…"

"That's right," Lucian nodded several times in his mind before he extended a tendril toward the Mutated Rat, who just quickly bumped it with his fist as he also nodded in satisfaction, "These Hoarders ain't shit! Hoorah!"

"Chii!!!" The mutated rat raised his arms in the air and roared, flexing his muscular biceps. And with their small victory, the two decided to have a little snack first and eat the botfly — well, Lucian just absorbed the radiation from the rat and the botfly instead.

"You're really an okay guy. You know that, right?"

"Chii…" The Mutated Rat just squeaked as he carried the giant botfly on his shoulder. As for Lucian, he carried the lower half of the Hoarder Leader's corpse.

"Shakira is really lucky to have you," Lucian breathed out in his mind, "I can't wait to meet your child — how long do you think we need to wait?"

"Chii…" The Mutated Rat shrugged as the two of them started walking and crawling back.

"I guess you're lucky too… having a family even despite all of this," Lucian looked around the dirty sewer, "I wonder when my turn is."

"Chii."

"Stop it, pft. As if I can find another irradiated sperm that's completely sentient out there," Lucian scoffed in his mind, "And even if I did… that would be weird. What even am I? A boy or a guy…? I suppose nowadays I can even identify as a cow."

"Chii!"

"I know, it's—"

"Chiii!!!"

"What!? What!?" Lucian then quickly dropped the carcass above him as he saw the Mutated Rat also throwing the botfly to the ground. Lucian then looked to where the Mutated Rat was looking, only to see a gigantic scorpion, twice as large as the Mutated Rat.

It did not have pincers, but blades as arms — its pincer was on the end of its tail instead.

"Scorpion Assassin!" Lucian screamed in his mind, "We need to go now. Now."

Lucian started backing away, the Mutated Rat, however, stepped forward and started flexing its muscles while snarling at the scorpion assassin.

"You fool! We need to go!"

"Chi…" The Mutated Rat glanced at Lucian while shaking his head.

"Are… you saying that a real man would not shy away from this challenge?" Lucian whispered in his mind, "And that you do not deserve to go home to Shakira if you do not defeat it…?"

"Chi."

"...Okay," Lucian just crawled back, "I believe you. Go."

"Chii…" The Mutated Rat breathed out loudly; almost releasing fumes from its nose as he bumped his fists together and thumped his muscular chest. And with another roar, he rushed toward the Scorpion Assassin.

"Go!" Lucian cheered, "Use Tackle!"

"Chii!" The mutated rat contracted his shoulder muscles and rammed the scorpion… only for him to bounce back. And before he could even do anything else, the Scorpion Assassin swung its sharp arm toward him and cleaved apart his stomach.

"Wh…" Lucian could really only watch as the force of the swing threw the mutated rat to the wall; his guts, spewing out from the gash on his belly, "No… Ed...

…Eduardo, you stupid shit!"