บท 41: Took The Breath From My Open Mouth

[KIYOMI]

When Sakura had chosen to not go after her erasthai, she hadn't been as confident as she made it seem to Elif. She knew that she had cornered Kiyomi one too many times and there was a chance that the Lycan wouldn't even be bothered to come for her.

She knew that she would lose Kiyomi either way and frankly, she had felt like that would happen to her today. It wasn't the easiest of things for her and it still made her wonder what the fuck she needed to do to make amends.

This wasn't supposed to be like this and yet as she looked at the beautiful woman before her, Sakura couldn't help but thank the goddess in silence.

She wasn't sure she would have been as brave if Kiyomi hadn't come for her, and of course, she would have gone on a rampage and murdered everything in her way which was not something that Kiyomi would ever want her to have.

"I didn't think you would come for me," Sakura said and Kiyomi stared at the woman like she had lost her mind.

"You said you missed me," Kiyomi stated as she looked right into Sakura's eyes, silently daring her to say that that wasn't true.

"I didn't. I just wanted you to come and take the human out of my sighed before I turned her into Lycan food," Sakura said as she jumped off the bed and straightened up, before walking almost Kiyomi like she hadn't been yearning for this same woman.

"The human? Elif?" Kiyomi asked.

"So, you know she came back. Anyway, my work here is done. You should talk to her before she tries shit again. I don't think I can stand the sound of her voice. I'm leaving alright?" Sakura said and Kiyomi just laughed.

"You're laughing? You think this is funny?" Sakura asked amusedly as she looked at her erasthai. Even with the dirt and the shit she had gone through today, Kiyomi still looked as beautiful as ever and Sakura was so close to folding.

But then she couldn't do that because she wasn't sure what she would do next. She had been so used to ordering people around, making people do her bidding at whatever time.

However, for the first time in her life she found someone she didn't want to command, someone she wanted to make a genuine connection with and someone that scared the living lights out of her.

She wanted to be close to Kiyomi, but she wasn't sure how close was close enough for her, and it was messing with her big time.

"The human went home already, Saki… Now, it's just you and me," Kiyomi said and the Lycan queen faltered in her steps like she hadn't expected the turn of events. This wasn't supposed to be what happened, and now she was like a deer caught in headlights.

"You and me?" Sakura asked, as she almost tripped on nothing, in a bid to put as much distance as she could between her and Kiki. It was strange, really, how she had wanted to see her and now that the woman was here, she wanted to make a run for it.

"Of course. You came to look for me, didn't you? You didn't tell me why though. Do you do that to every pet of yours, your highness?" Kiyomi asked and Sakura faltered as she stared at the good doctor again.

"What now?" Sakura asked, unsure of where the conversation was headed.

She had been too caught up in a lot of things that in just one day he felt like she had iced through several lifelines and yet it had been less than five hours since the sting of chaos had caught up with her on this suede of the realm.

"Why did you come to look for me, Saki? I called out to you for two whole months. I mourned what cd had been of us and then you just showed up like nothing happened to screw things up. What happened?

"Why choose this time of all the times to come back? What changed? Was it too hard for you to know that I was suffering or did you come because you heard I was surrendering to the Bogdan Lycans? I need answers, Saki.

"Maybe I don't deserve to question you, but at least you could give me answers, even if those answers will land me in worse trouble, don't you think?" Kiyomi asked in earnest.

The queen straightened up, her face that had once been filled with emotions, turning cold and empty, like their hand had the slightest bit of a smile and joy on those eyes when Kiyomi had come back.

This was what it felt like to be on both sides of the coin, and while Sakura hated it, she couldn't exactly let herself be thought of as weak, right?

"I didn't come for you, petal. I came to eliminate the people who figured out you were my erasthai. I am a queen, and I have a thousand and one enemies. I can't have people knowing that I have an erasthai, a weakness;

"... let alone think that they could use you to get to me. I am a terrible person and I know it, which is why the five Lycans who came to your door and grabbed you, died the moment you went through that portal.

"My work here is done, and I need to leave. Unless you have questions for me, which I would suggest you ask fast because I didn't have all day to be here with you," Sakura said and Kiyomi let out an empty laugh.

She had expected this from Sakura, not because the woman was starting to gauge emotions, but because deep down, she had known that the Lycan queen was just putting on a mask of happiness around her.

This woman was just as terrible as everyone thought of her and it had been foolish of Kiyomi to even think that for a moment, the mate bond would make the one step back from her cruelty.

This was what their fate was and she had long accepted it, though she had to admit that standing there before the cold-faced woman, Kiyomi felt a pang in her heart.

She had hoped and he had failed.

She had dared to love and it all backfired on her.

She had struggled to live and yet life was once again proving that it wasn't worth lying. Maybe she should have just taken the long road and disappeared when her name had been cleared because regardless of everything it was stupid for her to hope, right?

"Okay… I understand," Kiyomi said and Sakura choked on air.

"What?"

"Let me know my pet schedule; I'll avail myself, Your Majesty," Kiyomi said with a bow.

"No… not like this. This is not how our story ends," Sakura mumbled.

"We didn't have one to begin with."

"Wait… please," Sakura pleaded and Kiyomi stared at her like the woman was out of her mind. She didn't see a reason for her and her erasthai to be in the same room any longer and while it hurt her to the core to see Saki like that, Kiyomi just couldn't do anything.

"You don't have to do something you don't want to, your highness. This, all of this, doesn't have to mean anything. It's just a contract, isn't it? You don't have to bend over backwards for a contract you can terminate anytime.

"We don't have to play the long games anymore, your majesty. You're a queen, and I am a rogue… one who dared to think of a life with you, and now I realize that that was my mistake.

"I will get out of your way so you can do whatever it is you want to do, Queen Sakura," Kiyomi said and Saki stared at her in defeat.

She knew that this was the sound of goodbyes and she hated that she had gotten to this point with the one good thing in her life.

She had wanted to manipulate Kiyomi into accepting her, and while that was an art she had mastered, this time, Sakura wanted to be genuine.

"I love you so much it scares me, and I don't know what to do with my emotions. I'm sorry I've been making a mess since I came here. I wanted to come in the past months, but I didn't know where to start, okay.

"I only got the courage today because Otaru said I needed to stop making paintings of you like an obsessed freak and come forward with my feelings. I didn't know it would be this hard and it looks like I managed to fuck this up too.

"I'm sorry, alright? I didn't know how to do it. I came with the flowers and they got drenched in blood. I dressed up for you, and managed to look like a butcher. I did everything I thought was right and still managed to make a fool of myself.

"I'm sorry that I love you in a fucked-up way. I just didn't know what to do… how to do this. I had a plan but it all went out the window when I saw you and… look, you don't have to say you love me too, or come with me just because I made a confession.

"I just wanted you to know, and now that you do, I don't know what else. Perhaps I should just leave," Sakura said as she fidgeted, something that Kiki had never seen in the mad woman, ever.

It was like she was being introduced to a different version of Sakura and it was scary yet so sweet at the same time.

"This is all just a game to you, isn't it?" Kiki asked frustratedly.

"What if it is, Kiyomi Kimura?... Will you play along?"