บท 15: 14- Pretending
Yes I've been thinking
Yes I'm pretending
That i don't need your love
PRETENDING- A BOOGIE WITH A HOODIE FT JESSE REYES.
I walked out of the restaurant faster than I ever have in my whole life and started marching east, to my way home.
I heard the honk of a car but didn't bother turning back. I don't need interruptions right now.
Still marching with my tear streaked face I didn't care to look back when the horn was blown again.
"What is it!?" I stopped moving, turned around and recognized the red Audi.
My suspicions only became clearer when he jumped out of his car and ran towards me.
" Hey did you forget I said I'll pick you up? " he asked as he approached me but stopped once he saw my face "what the- why are you crying?"
I shook my head because the words couldn't just form in my head.
"Nothing? you're telling me nothing when you can't even speak!?" now he was shouting.
finally got him angry didn't I?
When I didn't give him a response, he sighed and gave me a one over look.
I can't believe he actually came to pick me up.
" I'm sorry, come on. Let's get you home" he took my hand and I jumped at the contact with my scalded skin.
" You're hurt?, who did this?" he asked again when he noticed the scald and little bruises on my wrist.
I couldn't even think of what to say, so guess where I had been staring at? if you said the ground you guessed right.
He sighed knowing fully well I wasn't going to speak and led me to the passenger seat of his car.
I got in and squeezed myself to the door, to reduce the pounding headache I have from the hot food's impact on my head.
He got into the driver's, started the ignition and began moving, as I tried to control my tears.
"Iris I thought we were friends now?" Clement spoke breaking the silence that had existed between us.
But as usual I prefer not to talk back.
"Are you going to act like you can't hear me?"
No response.
"for fucking sake, I'm just trying to help you"
Well I didn't ask for anyone's help I've been doing fine on my own and I will continue to survive.
"I don't need your help" that came out sharper than I planned for it to but it needed to be said.
No one had helped me all this time, why is help coming all of a sudden.
And from the reflection on the glass I could see him glaring at me.
" Fine" and he returned to his driving with full concentration without saying anything else.
Now I felt worse than before.
''''''''''''''''''''''''''
After a few minutes of driving, we finally got to my house.
I looked up to the building that is purely dark as there are no lights on. Mom and Dad are working late tonight, so I'll be all alone.
"No one's at home?" He asked reminding me that I'm still in his car.
I shook my head and mumbled a thank you before climbing down.
Walking towards the entrance while searching my purse for the keys, when I heard another car door close shut.
Clement made his way to my side and stood by me as he watched me fish for my keys.
I inserted the key into the lock and opened the door before turning to face him again.
"err- d-do you wanna come in?" I'm sounding dumb I know, but he might just be here to make sure that I didn't forget how to open the door.
"yeah, sure"
And I pushed the door open and walked in, while waiting for him to do the same.
Much to my dismay, he still stood outside of the house and was throwing me a wary look.
"Are you sure you want me to come in?" he asked me with a brow cocked upwards and I responded with a nod.
He then stepped in and glanced round the house, but not still taking a seat.
I stared at him and he just stared back at me. None of us moving and I realized he was waiting for me to look away, so I did and looked at the floor.
He sighed out loudly and asked "where's your kitchen?"
"err-"
"I'm not doing anything odd" raising his hands in surrender.
I nodded again and led him into the kitchen. He stepped in and took my injured hand. I yelped at the pain but he didn't let go.
Rather he took me to the sink and ran water over the scald.
At first it stung and I tried pulling my hand away but he held it firmly in place. And I began crying again.
" It hurts" I managed to say with my crooked voice and I watched the water run down the red streaks.
" Give it some time okay?" he said to me and I nodded briefly.
And true to his word the pain subsided and I felt relief. He turned off the tap and turned to me.
" Go sit on the counter"
Can I ever disobey? no... so I did exactly as he demanded.
" Where's your first aid kit?" he asked after opening a few cupboards and saw mostly stationery and wares.
I pointed to the highest shelf and he reached up to get it. In a few seconds, he came back to me and took my scalded hand that now had a removable skin on it.
He took the scissors from the kit and cleaned it with some alcohol before cutting off the skin around the wound. Cleaning the scissors again, he put it back in the box, then applied penicillin on the open wound.
" Do you have a headache?" he asked and I nodded.
He then left to get a glass of water and brought it with a pain reliever. I took it from him and swallowed while he returned the kit.
He came back and was watching me closely, and I did the same to him.
" You smell like spaghetti" he said still watching me.
" Workplace accident" I answered him and focused my attention on my hand.
" Take a shower and go to bed okay?"
I raised my head at him and nodded again.
" Good" was the last thing he said before silence befell us. But I decided to speak.
"I said I didn't need your help"
"Did I tell you I was gonna listen?" he shrugged.
"You're supposed to. At least that's what friends do, right?" I reduced my voice at the last part so he won't hear me but unfortunately he did.
" No you're wrong, friends help each other even when the other person is pretending to be okay"
"I shouted at you" now I'm literally sounding weak. His gesture is too much for someone like me.
"And it didn't care"
"Why are you helping me?" I asked with the last courage of words in me.
" Because I am your friend"
And then I did what i never thought I could have done before.
I pulled him into a hug.
He didn't retreat, or squirm. He hugged me back. He held me so tightly like he assumed that I was going to slip away.
And I felt something strange in me that I hadn't felt in a long time.
I felt loved.
I started sobbing unconsciously expecting him to push me away to avoid snot from rubbing all over his shoulder but he didn't.
Instead he hugged me tighter.
"Why do you always hide things from me?" he muffled into my hair.
Still sobbing I gave him a response to his question.
" I d-don't want to b-be a burden"
He didn't speak immediately, it seemed like he was thinking of what to say.
And in a while he finally said something.
"Don't ever pretend you're okay to me when you're not"
Not pretend? That's gonna take a while to get used to.
But it's worth the shot with him.
"okay" I whispered into his shirt and my cries slowing down.
" And don't ever pretend you don't need my help when you do" he ordered again.
"o-okay"
" Good" came his last words and I had never felt such a relief with those four letters before.
The night kept getting darker but we maintained this position for a while.
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