บท 19: School Days and Charlie’s Wisdom

The morning sun filtered through the blinds, filling Charlie's Malibu beach house with a golden glow. At the kitchen counter, Nero stared at his cereal, nerves swirling in his stomach. Today was his first day at a new school, and despite trying to stay cool, the anxiety was bubbling up.

Across the room, Charlie lounged on the couch, one leg propped up, flipping through TV channels with zero urgency. "First day, huh?" Charlie called out, glancing at Nero with a grin. "Relax, kid. It's just school."

"Easy for you to say," Nero muttered, pushing his cereal around. "You don't have to go."

Charlie smirked. "True. But hey, I've got something way more important—life advice."

Nero raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?"

"Yep," Charlie said, sitting up a little straighter. "Here's what you do: find the biggest guy in the yard and... avoid him. Seriously, trust me on that. No one wins picking fights with the linebacker."

Nero blinked. "That's your advice? Avoid big guys?"

Charlie shrugged. "Worked for me. Oh, and don't forget to charm a few girls. First impressions matter, and hey, you're Harper material."

Just then, Alan shuffled into the kitchen, his usual look of worry already etched on his face. "Nero, are you sure you're ready for this? New school, new people—it's a big adjustment."

Before Nero could answer, Charlie jumped in with his signature sarcasm. "Oh, please, Alan. It's not like he's going to prison. It's middle school."

Alan ignored him, focusing on Nero. "If you want, I could drive you there, maybe talk to the principal—"

"No thanks," Nero said quickly, imagining the nightmare of Alan hovering over him on his first day. "I'll be fine."

Charlie threw a glance at Alan, rolling his eyes dramatically. "Yeah, Alan, let the kid breathe. You showing up at school will be like waving a flag that says 'bully me.' Trust me, I know."

Alan frowned. "Charlie, school is a place for learning and growth, not—"

Charlie waved him off, turning back to Nero. "You'll be fine, kid. Just remember: act like you know what you're doing, and everyone else will assume you do. Confidence, even if it's fake, gets you pretty far."

Nero sighed, grabbed his backpack, and waved them off. "Thanks. I'll, uh… keep that in mind."

Charlie gave him a thumbs-up. "Good luck. Remember: charm, avoid the big guys, and if all else fails… detention's not so bad. It's a quiet place to nap."

Nero shot him a look but couldn't help smiling a little as he headed out the door.

Nero stepped through the gates of Malibu Junior High, the familiar weight of nervousness sitting heavy on his chest. The new school was bigger than his last one, and the flood of unfamiliar faces didn't help. He glanced around, trying to appear casual, but everything felt off.

Just as Charlie's words about "confidence" echoed in his mind, his first major misstep happened.

While walking through the bustling hallway, he accidentally collided with someone. Hard. His backpack caught on a desk, sending his books and supplies flying in every direction.

Heads turned, and a group of nearby kids laughed, some of them pointing. Nero scrambled to pick up his stuff, feeling his face burn with embarrassment. It felt like everyone was watching.

As he gathered his scattered belongings, a couple of girls nearby giggled. One of them, a girl with blonde hair and a mischievous smile, stepped forward. "Hey, new kid. You okay there?"

Nero froze for a second. Charlie's voice popped into his head—"Cute girls, charm them".

He looked up, his mouth suddenly dry. "Uh… yeah, I'm good. Just, uh… making a grand entrance."

The girls giggled again, amused by his awkwardness. "You're kinda cute," one of them teased, offering him a hand with his books. "What's your name?"

"Nero," he managed to stammer, blushing as he accepted her help.

"Nice to meet you, Nero," she said with a wink before sauntering off with her friends. They were still laughing as they disappeared around the corner.

Nero stood there for a second, replaying the moment in his head. Cute girls? Check. Flirting? Sort of. Maybe Charlie was onto something.

His first period class was history, and Nero slumped into a seat at the back of the room, hoping to lay low. Unfortunately, the teacher had other plans.

"Alright, class," the teacher said, eyeing Nero with a smile that was far too cheerful for a Monday morning. "We have a new student today. Why don't you stand up and introduce yourself?"

Nero reluctantly got to his feet, feeling the eyes of every kid in the room on him. Charlie's advice about confidence echoed in his head again.

He cleared his throat. "Uh… I'm Nero Caruso. I just moved here."

The teacher nodded. "And what do you like to do, Nero? Any hobbies?"

Nero paused. He wasn't sure what to say, so he went for something sarcastic—a classic Charlie Harper move. "Well, I'm living with Charlie Harper. He's, uh, kind of a big deal in the jingle-writing world. You might've heard his work in beer commercials."

There was a ripple of laughter from some of the kids, but the teacher's smile tightened. "Interesting. But I was asking about you, not Mr. Harper."

Nero cringed. Maybe sarcasm wasn't the best strategy. "Uh, I like music," he said quickly, trying to recover. "I play piano."

The teacher gave him a curt nod. "Thank you, Nero. You can sit down now."

As Nero sank back into his seat, he could feel the awkwardness radiating off him. Charlie's advice had definitely fallen flat this time.

Lunch didn't go much smoother. After grabbing a tray of food, Nero scanned the cafeteria for a place to sit. He didn't know anyone, and the last thing he wanted was to look like the awkward new kid sitting by himself.

Just as he was about to head to an empty corner table, a tall kid in a football jersey bumped into him on purpose, nearly knocking his tray out of his hands.

"Watch it, new kid," the guy sneered, towering over Nero.

Nero's heart pounded, but instead of backing down, Charlie's voice popped into his head—"Big guy, avoid." Yeah, that was definitely good advice.

But before Nero could say anything, the guy added, "You better get used to staying out of my way."

Without thinking, Nero responded, "Yeah, well, I'll try to fit it into my schedule."

There was a beat of silence. The bully blinked, clearly confused by Nero's sarcasm. The response wasn't what he'd expected, and for a second, it looked like he wasn't sure if he'd just been insulted.

Before the guy could react, Nero slipped past him, making his way to the empty table. He could feel his heart racing, but he also felt a small rush of pride.

Charlie would've been proud.

By the time Nero got home that afternoon, he felt drained. The day hadn't been a total disaster, but it had been a lot to handle. He dropped his backpack by the door and found Charlie lounging on the couch, flipping through channels like always.

"How was it, kid?" Charlie asked, not even bothering to look up. "Did you get into a fight? Flirt with a teacher? Cause a riot?"

Nero sank into a chair, shaking his head. "No fights, no flirting, but I think I might've accidentally insulted a teacher."

Charlie grinned, finally turning to face him. "Nice! That's what I like to hear."

Nero sighed, though he couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, I'm sure she was really impressed."

Charlie waved it off. "Teachers are overrated anyway. As long as you didn't get expelled, you're doing fine."

Just then, Alan walked in, overhearing the conversation. "Charlie, stop giving him terrible advice! Nero's there to learn, not to make enemies of his teachers."

Charlie shrugged, clearly unfazed. "Hey, a little sarcasm never hurt anyone. The kid's fine."

Alan groaned, but before he could launch into a lecture, Nero cut him off ensing that Alan was about to give one of his classic lectures on responsibility and "the importance of education," quickly cut in with a smile. "It wasn't all bad. Some of the kids seem cool… even if I did have an awkward run-in with a bully."

Charlie perked up at this. "A bully? Now we're talking. Did you use one of my classic comebacks? Tell him his mom shops at Sears or something?"

Nero laughed. "Not exactly, but I did make a sarcastic comment that confused him. He didn't really know how to react."

Charlie grinned, clearly pleased. "That's my boy! See? Sarcasm is a weapon. You just need to know how to wield it."

Alan looked appalled, stepping closer with a stern expression. "Charlie, that's not how you deal with bullies. Nero, if someone is picking on you, you need to report it to a teacher. Or… or talk to me! Sarcasm isn't going to solve anything. It could make things worse."

Charlie scoffed, waving off Alan's concerns. "Come on, Alan, you're killing the kid's vibe. The fact that Nero made it through his first day without getting stuffed in a locker is a win."

Nero leaned back in his chair, glancing between the two of them. On one hand, Charlie's laid-back approach was fun and made school seem less daunting, but on the other hand, Alan's overprotective hovering wasn't exactly reassuring either. Nero knew he had to find some balance between the two—somewhere between Charlie's carefree attitude and Alan's panic.

"So, what now?" Nero asked, hoping to steer the conversation away from the argument brewing between Charlie and Alan.

Charlie raised an eyebrow, clearly already plotting something. "I'll tell you what. Since you survived the first day, I think it's time to celebrate."

"Celebrate?" Nero repeated, slightly confused. "Celebrate what, exactly?"

Charlie stood up, a gleam in his eye. "Surviving middle school is a feat, my friend. I say we order some pizza, grab some root beer, and have ourselves a little movie marathon."

Before Nero could respond, Alan piped up, crossing his arms. "Charlie, he needs to do his homework. He just started school! He should be focusing on his studies."

Charlie rolled his eyes. "Homework? It's the first day, Alan. They probably gave him a worksheet about writing his name in cursive or something. Let the kid relax a little."

Nero chuckled. He could already tell this was going to be a constant back-and-forth—Alan stressing over everything, and Charlie doing his best to dismiss any real responsibility. But honestly? A pizza and movie night sounded pretty great after the day he'd had.

"All right," Nero said with a shrug. "Pizza sounds good to me."

Charlie clapped his hands together, clearly pleased. "That's the spirit! I'll grab the phone. You, my young protégé, grab us some sodas from the fridge. We're going all out tonight."

As Charlie dialed for pizza, Nero walked into the kitchen, feeling a weird sense of relief. School had been awkward, sure, but somehow the chaos of living with Charlie made everything feel lighter. Maybe sarcasm wasn't the best way to deal with teachers or bullies, but it did make things a little easier to handle.

The pizza arrived within twenty minutes, and Charlie, true to form, had ordered an obscene amount—three large pizzas, garlic bread, and enough soda to fuel a sugar high for days. They set up camp in the living room, with Nero on one side of the couch and Charlie sprawled out on the other.

Alan, of course, hovered at the edge of the room, watching the chaos unfold with a disapproving frown. "This is not how you raise a responsible young man," he muttered, shaking his head as Charlie dug into a slice of pepperoni pizza.

"Relax, Alan," Charlie said between bites. "We're bonding. This is how you build a relationship—with pizza and bad movies. Besides, life's too short to stress over everything."

Alan sighed deeply, but Nero noticed he wasn't exactly leaving the room either. Clearly, Alan's concern was warring with his curiosity. After a few more moments of awkward standing, Alan finally gave in and grabbed a slice of pizza for himself, sitting down in the armchair beside the couch.

"Fine," Alan muttered. "But Nero still has to do his homework tomorrow."

Charlie shot Alan a look, grinning. "Whatever you say, Dad."

As they settled into the movie, Nero felt a sense of comfort he hadn't expected. Sure, school had been weird, and living with Charlie was a never-ending rollercoaster of bad advice and sarcastic jokes, but there was something about this strange, dysfunctional family dynamic that felt… okay. More than okay, actually.

After the movie ended, the pizza boxes were emptied, and Alan had retreated to his room, Charlie leaned back with a satisfied sigh. "Ah, that's what I call a perfect evening. Pizza, a terrible action movie, and absolutely no responsibilities."

Nero laughed, stretching out on the couch. "Yeah, it wasn't so bad."

Charlie glanced over at him, his usual smirk in place. "So, what's the verdict? You ready to take on day two of middle school, or are we dropping out and starting a rock band?"

Nero snorted. "I think I'll give school another shot. But, uh… I might need to tone down the sarcasm next time."

Charlie waved his hand dismissively. "Sarcasm's fine in moderation. You just have to know your audience. Teachers? Not the best audience. Bullies? Definitely. Cute girls? Well, that depends on how cute they are."

Nero shook his head, amused. "You really do have an answer for everything, don't you?"

Charlie grinned. "Hey, when you've been through as much as I have, you start to figure a few things out. Like I said this morning—confidence is key. Doesn't matter if you have no idea what you're doing. As long as you act like you do, people will follow your lead."

Nero smiled, feeling a bit better about the next day. Sure, Charlie's advice wasn't always helpful, but it made him laugh, and that was enough. School would still be awkward, but at least now, Nero had a better idea of how to handle it. And maybe, just maybe, Charlie's strange brand of "wisdom" would come in handy after all.