บท 48: Addiction
Neil was still silent at the dining table, watching the empty plate lying in front of him. He quietly raised his gaze and saw Skylar focused on playing with the cell phone in his hand and his other hand clamping his sandwich between his fingers.
He had always not thought that this person was his twin brother indirectly, and it was no wonder this Skylar was also living here. Neil is indeed so blind and not very sensitive to his surroundings, but Neil should have known from the photo he found in his room at that time that he was not born from the same womb alone.
However, it wasn't his fault not to believe his own opinion at the time, when in fact he didn't know anything, the details leading up to it were always challenged because the person concerned hated him and didn't think he existed. Then there was his father who closed himself, always busy working. Neil doesn't mind it but at least Raihan told him what happened in his past and how Neil could lose his memory or at least his father was by his side when he was a kid when Neil woke up in the middle of the night from random scary dreams.
And about his mother who Neil never met. He shook his head quickly at the thought of his dream back then about someone he called mother and Neil thought of a monster, that couldn't be his mother. The mother will not hurt his child.
However, everything had happened and Neil couldn't change anything. He also couldn't be mad at his parents because they were the ones Neil was in this world.
"When you're done, don't stay here." The voice startled Neil from his daydream, Neil's eyes lifted to look at Skylar who was still focused on his cellphone.
"We're twins, right?" Neil grimaced as the question slipped from his lips suddenly.
Skylar looked away and looked at Neil with furrowed brows. "Yes, who else? Aboutfamilyyour?"
Neil's chest warmed at that confession, even though it wasn't from the real Neil. At least in Skylar's first question, this one isn't against it. Neil smiled happily looking at Skylar who was surprised by his behavior.
"Thank you, I'm very happy." Neil got up hugged Skylar's curt body and went out of the house. He was already preparing to start the day that would surely be very hard to live by.
***
Neil rang the bell on the large white-painted door that Neil knew was only inhabited by Sain himself. He waited to tap the toe of his shoe on the floor, his eyes wandering around their deserted neighborhood.
There was a small reply from the inside that was getting closer and closer until the door finally opened fully revealing Sain appeared who seemed to have just woken up from his sleep looking confused.
Heat began to spread throughout Neil's body until he focused his two eyes only on Sain's cheeks. Neil opened his voice which felt hoarse and lumpy. "You just woke up?"
"Wow, your voice is amazing," he said dragging Neil deeper into the house.
Neil coughed a little, extremely embarrassed. Because all night he cried in front of Sain, and now this man remembers his again. "It's because of you."
Sain sat Neil on a chair in his lounge and pinched Neil's cheek quite hard. Neil grimaced and rubbed his reddened cheeks. "It hurts, Riksa."
"It's still seven in the morning," Sain said with a faint smile he took another chair and sat facing Neil.
Neil seemed to be stuck he was looking for something to look at other than Sain who was staring at him. He pressed his black hat to stick it closer to his head and prevented Sain from seeing his eyes more clearly.
"Where are you going?" Sain asked, his hand raised turning Neil's hat back and leaning in to put his lips on the bridge of Neil's nose.
"Didn't I tell you last night?" Neil asked as his mind roamed through the memories from last night.
"What did you say?" Sain instead asked innocently back, Neil could see a soft pink color crawling down his cheeks.
Neil now remembered it well, and his hand immediately shot to pinch Sain's thigh strongly. "I talked at length last night, what are you doing?"
This time Neil bravely looked into Sain's eyes who just averted his gaze while rubbing his neck.
Sain hesitantly spoke quickly. "I watched you."
"If you've been watching me, you should know what I'm talking about," Neil said with his eyebrows raised.
"I was watching you," he said again confidently, his arms outstretched to hold the back of the chair on either side of Neil.
Neil couldn't help but roll his eyes. "You don't."
"I noticed this." After saying that Sain stepped forward and Neil immediately felt something soft and wet touch his lips. It wasn't long, but it made his heart feel like it wanted to jump out of its socket.
"Riksa?" Neil breathed fast, his hands clasped pressing Sain's chest away. "You have to get ready, Riksa."
Sain stood up with a wide smile on his radiant face. Neil even seemed to be frozen unable to take his eyes off the man who stood towering in front of him. He blinked as Sain buried a brief kiss on his cheek, then left humming.
As Sain Neil unconsciously took a deep breath of air as if he had been holding it in for so long. Neil also pressed his pounding chest and rumbled to his ears hoping his body would return to normal as it was before he met Sain.
Neil knew that he had never felt this feeling before, not even with a girl. Neil's eyes widened when he just realized, what position he was holding when he was with Sain while doing 'that' and became even more embarrassed.
Along with him trying to calm down again. Neil's eyes lifted to take a closer look at Sain's house. There weren't any photos there, just like the house where Neil himself lived. However, these plain whitewashed walls become interesting when some beautiful paintings on canvas hang beautifully on the walls. He got up to get a better look.
Nil couldn't help but admire it, almost all of the paintings are nature-themed with a slight focus on the blue and orange Skylars and Neil's blobs that adorn them in gray and white. He wonders if Sain bought it or if Sain painted it himself with his hands.
Then his eyes focused on one of the other paintings with the canvas hanging vertically, different from the others hanging horizontally. And the only human painting there.
Neil came closer to take a closer look at every detail there to admire it. The painting was etched in a color that perfectly matched the figure of a man standing with his back. The figure seemed to be standing fragilely in the middle of the expanse of sky and stepping on the barrier of a high-rise building. His hands were clenched at each side of his body with his clothes and hair messy, but they fit him perfectly.
Neil didn't know why, but he felt deep emotions from the painting as if he understood and was once in his position.
Neil sensed something strange and familiar from the figure of the man in the painting. He approached, his eyes narrowed and Neil immediately gasped when he realized who the man in the painting was.
It is himself.
Neil.
Neil remembers well when he was in this dimension for the first time, he was directly on a roof of a building and only a few steps away was about to fall free against the hard ground. How could Sain know his current state with this detail when Sain himself came a little longer from that?
If Sain did paint it, why was it, Neil?
"Admiring yourself?"
Neil flinched when Sain suddenly appeared behind him and whispered right into Neil's reddened ear.
Neil slightly turned his head and immediately regretted noticing the lack of distance between them. Then the movement from Sain's arms crawled on Neil's waist until Sain completely hugged Neil's body from behind.
"You painted it?" asked Neil hoping his voice wouldn't falter when Sain pressed his back causing Neil to have to bite his lip hard.
"Yes, I painted it. Do you know? That every time I start drawing it will always relate to you. Always. There are many Neils in my paintings that you never see," Sain said proudly and rested his chin on Neil's shoulder.
"Riksa, this is too much." Neil is against this. He disapproves of being made an object in an art that is supposed to be beautiful.
"Something that's too much about you, its beauty. Maybe it's unrelated, but I want you to know that I'm addicted."
Neil's face was even hotter until he felt like he was burning all over with Sain's words. "Addicted?"
"Yes. To you, Neil and I refuse to be rehabilitated at any time."
***
"Riksa, Skylar, and Lia have found a way out of here until Lia came here of his own accord," explained Neil.
"What's he here for?" asked Sain raising his eyebrows.
"You already know everything. Don't make me talk anymore." Neil rolled his eyes. Then move on. "If we find the cupboard, can you guys get out of here?"
"You?"
Neil looked away and instead looked at his hands lying on his lap. stead, he ignored Sain's question and continued, "The cupboard belongs to Skylar's mother who was at his house, but Lia didn't find the house. Since Skylar and I are not separated here, we just need to find my mother and maybe the cupboard is there too. "
Sain gaped he grabbed Neil's shoulders and shook him gently. "You remember?"
"I wish I remembered, but Lia accidentally said that Skylar and I are siblings."
Sain seemed oddly relieved by Neil's narrative. "What's wrong, Rika?"
Sain shook his head and said, "I hope you never remember the past, Neil. I don't want you to get sick again, instead of asking to forget it again."
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