บท 18: DO I NEED TO PUT A LEASH ON MY MATE?

RAIN

They have fucked before.

By the way will is longingly gazing at Liam when he isn't looking, I can guess more than a few times.

I wasn't delusional when I thought I saw the challenge before. The annoying thing though, is the way Liam is blind to all the jabs the man beside him is throwing at me. He wants me to know that he has Liam and has had him before.

I think I also catch him telling me indirectly that he is going to be with Liam, despite the new developments in his life.

I mean, I have been in second place in someone else's life, someone I loved with all my heart. I know the feeling and the boundaries drawn when number one meets number two.

The feeling of hopelessness that floods my heart makes me weak, I fight tears from spilling from my eyes.

I had guessed a man like Liam would have a history and a life before I came into the picture. I didn't think it would be with someone far more beautiful like Will, who seems perfect and elegant, looks like he comes from a good family and has a clear past, unlike me who is muddled in the mud.

I can't stand sitting here and listening to Will declare his love for Liam all while making sure I know his place in his life. Standing, I start to walk out.

"Baby, are you leaving so soon?"

That word grates me, and I have to remind myself to smile and keep a beautiful reaction to avoid the ugliness within from spilling out.

"I am heading to the bathroom, I will be back."

I don't wait to hear what he says next, as I close the door behind me.

I have left my mate and his lover in the office alone. I should feel threatened, but the only emotion I feel is hopelessness and jealousy.

I miraculously find the bathroom and I lean on the counter. Looking up, a face reflects at me from the huge mirror in front of me. I feel ugly, basic, and rotten compared to the perfect will.

Will can read and help Liam when he needs help. Will is not messy and doesn't run when he is scared, he asserts himself and makes it known he isn't leaving.

Will is classy and elegant, from his clothes, his hair, and his face … I know Will is also good in bed, a fact he was very loud about just a few minutes ago.

And me? A nobody who was picked up from the road, homeless, and doesn't own even the clothes on my back. Ugly, and weak. Pathetic and rotten inside. Classless, illiterate, and a coward.

I mean who am I? Who did I think I was to be picked and chosen by a top male alpha like Liam and think that I was the only one? I was being delusional this whole month.

I have tried to bury my head in the sand and will just reminded me that I am worthless, not the right fit for Liam despite the bond and I will never match up to him.

I don't realize I am retching on the sink until I am heaving, breathless, and tears down my face. I am such a mess.

I can't lose him. Ever.

I will never be perfect or even the right fit for Liam, but he saved me. That night, I thought I was dead but he brought me back to life. He is the angel who took me from the pits of hell and brought me to heaven.

I would be a fool if I didn't hold onto him, with all the might I have, and closed my fist to avoid perfect people like Will snatching him away from me.

He is all I have. I have lost before; I am not losing this second time.

The door opens as I am washing my face and the perfect face appears, still wearing that smile.

"I was wondering if you lost your way, I came to find you and bring you back."

"No I am fine," I say as I close the tap.

"Are you okay? You don't look so good there," he asks concern lacing his words.

"I am good," I don't mean to snap but I do.

"I am sorry if I have wronged you in any way, I will let you finish up," he looks at me one more time, a frown on his face, and leaves the bathroom.

Great. The guy is such an actor he is managing to make me feel like a scorned woman who thinks her husband is cheating on her with him yet he's innocent.

Just great.

When I enter the office, I see them going over something on the computer, awfully seated close. Closer than I left them.

Will looks up first and then jabs Liam signalling him that I am here.

Like I need him to tell my mate I am here.

"I think I have had enough, I am going back up," I say and start to leave.

"Wait, baby. You don't look okay, what's wrong?"

"I am fine, I think I am a little hungry," I force a smile and hold his hand.

"I can get you food here, please don't leave."

"I need to, after eating I want to lie down, I feel exhausted already, if that's okay with you?" I know asking him makes him feel guilty. I need to leave and I am not above using a little manipulation to get away from here.

He looks concerned but finally nods. "Okay, but I wanted you to walk around and see my pack, get familiar with it, and let them know you."

"I think Reece said something about dinner," I remember the offer I was offered before coming down here.

"Yes, okay that's perfect. And the city? My territory? I would love it if you visited and got familiar with your new home… do some shopping, anything you want," he holds my hands gazing at me with such adoration and patience I feel guilty for tricking him earlier.

"I am afraid I will get lost, I have never been to a city this big before," I feel ashamed opening up like this.

"I can take you, I will make sure you have a good time, if that is okay with you?" will offer and I turn, remembering he is still here.

"Yes, that's a good idea. Will grew up here and he knows all the good spots. Plus he is popular in the pack, I think he is the best guide to get friendly with the members."

You would be the perfect one, but you aren't coming with me. Why?

My dad is asking for my presence after tonight. I don't want him to come here, he is a pain.

My eyes widen. I hadn't realized I had pushed the question through our bond and he has heard it. He smiles and kisses my forehead.

It's going to be okay. If you don't want will to go with you, I am going to go with you.

I sigh, remembering why I got out of the door today.

Effort.

I have to make an effort to be active in the new pack and pick up responsibilities as his mate.

"I suppose he can be my guide," I finally speak up and turn to look at Will who is looking at us with a frown which clears up immediately I turn towards him.

"Perfect," he smiles.

"Okay. I won't be long, wait for me," Liam kisses me and I slip through the door straight to the lift.

I don't dare look back. I am afraid of seeing them close and I don't know if I won't cry when I see them for the third time.