บท 16: ch 15. when something ends, something new starts
YOONGI:
something changed. i couldnt put my finger on it, but .... nevermind. the semester was almost done. i had plans to drive home, seeing my family and friends again. i am a DBoy anyway.
so i didnt put my mind around the strange change in our relationship. jimin got clingy, after he went out with his friends. what was weird, cause he never was before. maybe i should asked his friends? after the holidays! i needed to focus on my last project and than what i wanted to do when i was back home.
jimin promised, we would skype every day, so i wasnt to sad, that i wouldnt see him for 5 weeks.
my days started at 7 am and ended at about 1 or 2 am. so we didnt really saw us a lot. only on weekends. if i wasnt working on my project. so i pretty neglected him, for what i was sorry, but.... it was my future!
altho i missed the sex, our conversations, our sillyness. i hoped it all would be better after the holidays.
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KOOK:
"get your ass up and ask for his number, or i ll do it!" i was frustrated. jin was stupid! he longed after that guy, but couldnt get his butt over and talked with him. that guy was now a regular. that means he was here almost 2 nights a week.
jin looked like a trapped animal and tried to flee, but i was faster, pulled him with me and almost pushed him to the guy. miss ruby needed a nice guy.
i knew hope and i would be sad, if our little arrangement would break up, but his happyness was more important. so we helped where we could.
i grinned widley and walked back to my hope.
"she sits on his lap" hobi dryly stated. "yeah!" still wide grin. "u pushed her" i nodded. "why did i never came up with it?!" i shrugged. "shoot.... i really should pushed her weeks ago!" "come on! lets get ready!" i pulled him with me. we joked around a bit, when suddenly everything became slowmo. my focus was on hope, he twirled around, laughed, showed me his heartshaped mouth with it and .... oh my god.... i was in love!!!
the shock was great! i loved hope!
"whats wrong?!" he looked concern at me. i didnt know why, but i had suddenly the need to kiss him. hard!
"uuuhhh.... wha..." "i love u" "what?!" "i love u" "what?!" "are u deaf?" "what?!" i grabbed his shoulders and shook him harshly.
"what...what....what...." "are u a stucked cd?!" i let him go. he stood there motionless, just stared at me.
"do i have to switch u off and on again? where is the button?" "what did u say?!" "that i love u?" "wow.....seriously?" i nodded. "sure! seriously" "wow" "and? u are not saying anything?" "wow" "hope?!" "huh? oh! love u too!" he jumped on me, almost made me fall!
we kissed and kissed, until our butts got slapped. ruby j came back. "u are up in a minute! stop fooling around!" she had a smile from ear to ear. "oooohhhh somebody got the number! somebody will get laid soon!" hope sang and grinned widely. ruby js face was suddenly beet red. "oh my god! u got his number?! congratulation!" "well.... not only his number, but also ..." "what?" "what?!" "he kissed me!" we squeeled around.
"now, get out!" ruby pushed us away from her.
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TAE:
we met almost every day after school. if we had classes together, we sat next to each other. we had fun. we talked a lot. we learned a lot of each other. jimin was more than i thought. we talked all the time. we never had a problem to find subjects to discuss.
we went to his fav coffee shop. a cosy, hid away, with furniture what didnt fit together, a grumpy old man as the owner, waiter and coffee maker. it was perfect. we spent hours in it. or i watched him dancing.
jimin was the most beautiful creature i ever saw dancing! he was perfect. i only shook my head, when he started to complain about his body, not beeing perfect.
the only subject i always left out, so jimin tried too, was yoongi. i didnt wanted to think about him at all. i was jealous.
the only bright sight was, that jimin would went home alone. yoongi would go back to his hometown. i was really happy about it, when i heard from jimin.
it would be horrible for me, if they would be together for the 5 weeks. my body shook by that thought.
i made our time we still had, worth it.
we layed on my couch and fooled around. my lips hurt from the amount we kissed.
jimin tilted his head away and panted. "we should stop" "why? are u horny?" his cheeks blushed a bit. "naaaa, but...." i smirked. "we just kiss" "i know... its..just..." i tugged his underlip and smiled at him. he huffed, rolled his eyes, but kissed back.
my hands wandered under his shirt, trailed his body, his wonderful skin. i could eat him!
"tae.." "huh?" "dont do that" oh.... he was hard.... just from my touches? i didnt even touched his dick! wow! i liked that!
i grinned. "ooocccchhhh" he glarred at me. "u are still an asshole" i laughed and shoved his jeans down with his underwear. "u know... that night i didnt had the chance" "for what?" i only grinned and shoved down to his dick, licked the tip and watched his reaction. he flinshed and furrowed his brows. "tae....?! dont..." i took the whole muscle in and watched him. immidiate reaction of arching his body, grabbing my hair and giving out some really arousing whines. i loved that! "dont...dont....." contray to his words, his hands put more pressure onto my head, to go down harder on him. my beautiful, beautiful baby!
the way he squirmed under me, was the best thing. i was in charge. i gave him pleasure, i gave him something good. it was me. and i couldnt stop. my eyes were glued on his face. it was important to watch him, while i gave him the best blow in his life.
i never knew that bodies could contort so uncomfortably, but jimins was flexible and it astonished me. i felt that he was close and intensified my efforts, feeling his juice seconds later in my mouth and seeing his red face going back to a normal expression. his chest heaved heavely.
his eyes were hooded and looked straight into my face. "are u okay?" i asked lowly. he nodded, sat up and picked his clothes from the floor. he didnt said a thing, what made me nervous. "jimin...." he just stretched his hand out to stop me. "i told u not to do it" "that was when we kissed" "u dont respect any of my boundaries" "do we have some?" "tae!..." i pushed him down on the sofa and sat on his lap, trapped his face with my hands. my nose caressed his.
"look, i know u have a bad feeling about all, but u let yourself go just now. u needed it and u wanted it. even if u dont know it. but your body showed it" he looked big eyed and his lip trembled. "tae... dont do this to me... i feel so guilty. i cant..."
"i know u feel that way, but u should let go, when u are with me. u need what we are doing" "who said that?! huh?! u think i am a whore, who cant go a day without a dick up the ass?! i can go without sex or anything for a long time" "calm down. i know u are not a whore! but i think its very difficult in our age, to live with ...a boyfriend and not to get touched or any action for weeks, cause of work. u are not relaxed, jimin! your muscles are hardened, your mind isnt focused and u are stressed. i just wanna give u relief and something to sleep better at night" he looked surprised and nodded. i knew i was right.
our lifes were busy with uni work, stressed with tests and deadlines, our hormones made everything harder to deal with.
"sorry.... u are right" "thanks for conforming it" i gave him a smile. "its just... i know he has so much to do and he is so focused on his future, but... i missed our conversations, cuddles. it always eased my mind. i am so selfish!" "no u are not. and u should use me, when u feel stressed, ok?" he nodded, still conflicted. fuck! why was he so .... involved with that guy?! i was so much better for him, than that idiot! i would never "forget" his needs and well beeing! yoongi was selfish! staying hours and hours in some studio, forgetting he had the most perfect boy at home, waiting for any little sign of love from his lover. it was cruel.
work wasnt everything in life!
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YOONGI:
"so.... we skype? right?" jimin nodded. i gave him a peck and walked to the door. "see u in a few" "yoongi?!" "yeah?" we looked at each other. jimin had an expression on his face, i never saw before. "what is it?" "nothing... i am gonna miss u" i smiled. "me too"
i enjoyed my drive home. the weather was amazing. the music was great and i sang along.
i knew i was gonna miss jimin, but.... maybe it was cause of our loads of work, the stress. i knew i ignored him, but my project was to important. we had plenty of time, it was just our first year. so i didnt worry. i mean... i had to admit, that i didnt thought any second of jimin the last few weeks. i was tired and exhausted when i came back to the dorm. just wanted to get at least 4 hours of sleep. i didnt even had any sexual urges, what was weird, cause... it was jimin for fucks sake! but nada. sometimes i felt him next to me, holding me close while we slept, but... my friend never "woke" up. i wondered if something was wrong with me. hopefully those 5 weeks would made me crazy for jimin again.
we skyped the first few days regulary. he was at his parents home. but the conversations became shorter and shorter. somehow i wasnt in the mood to speak for a long period with him. sometimes i was even annoyed, or didnt pick up, when he called. i was out with my friends much of the time, or enjoyed trips with my parents. why was i distancing myself from him?
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HOPE:
for the first time he went to another college i ran into him. the butterflies in my stomach confused me big times. as always it was his smile with that fucking adorable dimples. it always got me.
"hey, hobi" "hey, joon" we stood there like idiots.
he sighed, laughed akwardly and stretched his arms out. oh how much i missed those arms around me....stop that! i was with kook! he loved me! only me! there was no other shadow!
"wanna catch a coffee with me?" he asked. shit... i nodded and we walked to a shop.
it was quiet and not a lot of people there.
"so.....? how are u?" he asked. i told him about my life the past months.
"really? drag queen? wow!" he laughed. "are u judging me?" he shook his head. "no! just.... wow! i should come to one of your shows! i wanna see u stumbeling around in your heels!" he laughed harder. "oh really?! stumbeling? at least i can walk a straight line. i bet u cant even stand up in heels!" he laughed again. i missed that.....
we spent hours talking and trashing each other, when my phone rang. joon took a glance and looked surprised.
"kook? as in jungkook?!" i didnt know why i was getting red in the face. "yeah... just wait some seconds....hey....yeah....sure...be there in about 20? ok. great....good....yeah...me too"
"u are together with him!" "i didnt say that" "but he said "i love u" and u "me too"" "oh....yeah...shit" joon raised a brow and just looked at me. "dont give me that look! after our debakle and theirs, we started to talk. we are having fun together, we moved in together with our friend jin and .... i love him, joon" "thats good. i am happy for u" "he is not .... like he was with jimin, okay?! he is great! perfect!" joon raised his hands. "i belive u! no bad feelings" i exhaled that breath i had held in for some reason. why was joons approval so important to me?!
he sipped on his coffee, when i just asked "did u told him yet?" "whom and what?" "jimin and that u love him?" he cought and tilted his head. "love him? i love him, like my best friend, like u now" i scoffed. "please! dont insult my intelligence" "i never did" "u did. u cheated on me, not only physically, but also mentally. u always loved jimin. thats why we had no chance, as sad as it was. deep down i always knew, but i didnt wanted to admit it. i loved u. i wanted u and i never had a chance" i was sad, the realization months ago, was hard to process or admit, but.... as i said, i had kook.
joon took his time. "i am so sorry, hobi" he whispered finally. i just looked at him, waited for him to continue.
"i love him. i want to be with him" he admitted. "u fucked with him, right? kook was right" joon scoffed. "he asked me to be his first, so he was prepared and ready for his first boyfriend. he wanted to learn what sex was, what he had to do, how it felt and so on. and he wanted me as his teacher..." joon scoffed again, with a bitter smile. "....and that idiot didnt know what he was doing to me. then u came, kook. we didnt do anything anymore and i was kinda okay with it. than kook was an asshole, when we were on vacation with our parents. they broke up, thats when we fucked again." "but u were still with me! my boyfriend! we never had a break!" i was still hurt. "i know and i am truly sorry for my behavior. i should have.... i dont know... never hurt u. u were the perfect boyfriend and i wasnt seeing it. i was horrible. i am really sorry, hobi" i nodded. "yeah, u asshole!" he grinned. "i am...arent i?"
"he is here, are u gonna finally cofess to him?" i looked curious at him. he sighed. "he has a boyfriend" "so? that never hindered u" "dont be mean now" i laughed. "sorry, but i have the right to torture u a bit" "yeah yeah.... no seriously, he is in love with somebody else again. no chance for me now" "u know who it is?" "his room mate" "oh wow. that sucks.... but he is alone here...soooooo" "no, i dont wanna repeat mistakes and hurt somebody else" "oh wow! joonie all grown up!" "shut up" we laughed.
but... i pitty him. there he was, the strong, wonderful joon, beeing madly in love with his best friends and jimin, that fucking idiot, never had a clue. poor joon.
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JIMIN:
"OH MY GOD!!!!!" i ran up to him and jumped onto him, held him really really tight. "hey babe" "i missed u!" "missed u too!" we looked at each other and laughed.
we spent hours talking about uni and funny people, gossip and scandals. it was as if we never parted. i had my best friend back. the friend i could tell everything, talked about every subject. finally!
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