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100% A Helluva Time: A Helluva Boss Story / Chapter 17: Don’t “Succ” At Your Audition!

บท 17: Don’t “Succ” At Your Audition!

One phone call and a thirty minute limo drive later, I arrived at Miss Verosika's studio in the Ring of Lust with two folders in hand. Slightly bigger than I pictured it. And yet, here I am. A small guppie about to dip his flippers into a big ocean of who-knows-what. Possibly drugs, sex, and greed but let's see how it goes. The limo pulled up to a steel, black gate as the driver flashed his I.D. badge at the guard. Nodding his approval, the guard opened the gate and we rolled on inside.

The limo came to its last stop at the front door. Thanking the driver, I stepped out, made my way to the door, and knocked. It didn't take long until I got greeted by Tex and he looked like I was a complete stranger. "Yeah, what you want?" Tex asked, his tone gruff and serious.

This made me a little nervous. I really hoped that this was just an act and he wasn't putting up a front last time we met. I kept my demeanor calm, but I wasn't sure if that synced with my face. "Uh, hey…Vor right? Or Tex preferably? We met not too long ago, remember? My boss and your boss had a tiff that could be settled with a…shit! What was it called again?"

"A demon duel?"

"Yeah. Yeah. That's it. That's the term I was looking for. I was the one guy singing on the beach, trying to distract everyone with my little performance." The big hellhound stayed silent, glaring at me like he completely forgot about me. Now I was getting really nervous. "Was all that 'it's all good' shit just a facade, or are you just messing with me? 'Cuz you're making me a little nervous here."

The grim leer switched into a smug grin. "Hah! I'm just kidding with ya, man." Tex chuckled.

Well, I had a small hope that he was. I'm just glad I was right. And relieved. "Thank god. Or Satan. Whoever. Almost had me going there for a second." I said, going along with it. It made me feel bemused and a little irritated at the same time. "Just let it go. He's, hopefully, a good guy. Don't be an ass."

"C'mon in. My boss is busy at the moment. But how about a little tour while we wait?" Tex gestured, inviting me inside.

"Eh, sure. Why not?" I shrugged. "Lead on." Inside the joint exceeded my expectations of what a celebrity's house would look like. Mostly solid white color throughout the house but still having that 'rich people rock and party' kind of vibe if that makes sense. The rest I'll leave it your imagination.

The house, as I imagined, had the quintessential rooms: main bedroom, three or four guest rooms, living room, kitchen, basement, and one room I can assume is the orgy room. I just assumed given these guys are succubi/inccubi if you'll understand. And, finally, we got to the one room I hoped this house had. The personal studio. If you've seen the kind of recording booths used by either musicians and/or voice artists, it's exactly what you think it is. You have a workstation, speakers, software, audio interface, studio monitors, and the works necessary for the technical side of recording.

On the other end, separated by a wall and a large soundproof window, you've got the actor/singer's part of the room. A few chairs occupied the empty space along with two overhanging microphones, studio headphones, some sheet music stands, and various instruments up against the wall. Nice and simple setup.

"Does you ever get a chance to learn how to operate behind the scenes or maybe sing a little?" I asked him. "I know you said you're not paid enough to care, but does that include something like this?"

"Hmm, I personally don't think so. Never cared that much to try," he said thinking about it. He leaned against the doorway with his arms folded. He then gave a little shrug. "Not saying I wouldn't, but doesn't hurt to try."

I grunted in understanding. "Same here." I scooted past him to walk over to the performing side of the room. Amongst all the instruments they had an electric piano resting on a folding stand. It looked similar to the one I used at our last encounter. As I traced my fingers along its keys, Tex asked me the same question I thought I didn't have to hear again.

"So why human music?"

I looked at him, feeling defensive. My intuition had me thinking Verosika may have told him about it, but I still had the implied nature to ask him, "Excuse me?"

"C'mon, man. You think Verosika is the only one who caught on that the two songs-"

"Three if you technically count the one one the internet."

"Three songs you sang two may have been from the mortal realm? I've never heard anything in Hell sound anywhere close to what you've heard."

*sigh* Damn, he's right. I don't know how long he played bodyguard to Verosika and crew. But a part of me knows not to take things at face value alone. Some people are never as they truly seem. "So I like to be cultured." I said. "Is that a crime?"

The big guy raised a brow. "Personally, no. But it feels…odd to me that you're so familiar with music from humans over everything else."

I simply shrugged. "Just a choice of preference. That, and I got exposed to it more than Hell's music. Given the time working with I.M.P. But, hey, you're welcome to change my mind if you want."

The rest of our conversation would have to wait. For we heard someone coming down the hallway and it was the pink Barbie doll herself with her crew. "Tex! You around here? I need to know if you've heard back from-Barry!" She seemed to be in a sour mood until she saw me, turning her sour puss into a cheerful grin. "So, you decided to try the rockstar life, did ya?"

"I've considered it." I replied. "But not without some ground rules. And don't worry. I assure you that the terms will be, as ridiculous as it sounds, fair." In saying this, I flashed her the envelope and handed it to her. Veros (Verosika for myself to keep it short) and her crew huddled around her as Miss Succulicious read over it. I heard her hum with study. Like before, I wanted it to be as thorough, clear, and simple as possible. No loopholes. No hidden clauses. No bullshit.

"You sure you're a demon?" Verosika asked. She looked at me over the contract with doubtful eyes. "Or are you just stupid?"

"First of all, ma'am, stupid is as stupid does. Second of all, I'm not stupid enough to learn how twisted and corrupt this kind of business can be."

"You do know this is-"

"Yes! Yes!! I know! I know this is Hell!!" I said exasperated. I am so sick of this crap! "Is everyone going to fucking ask me that question?!"

"Pretty much, yeah," said one of the female succubi. She looked short and a bit plump with short black hair that looked like it was still blowing to the side. She was wearing cut-off jean shorts and what I'm guessing is a one-piece shirt, if you can really call it a shirt, that covered her mommy milkers and her left arm. Again, going by what I can best describe based on her looks. The upper part of her lips was as black as her hair and sideway lashes. As for personality, she looked like a don't-really-care kind of person. Then again, I could be wrong.

I pinched the bridge of my brow and sighed as I continued. "Look. Whatever you or your crew plan to do on your own terms is fine with me. What's your business is your business. Mine vice versa. But do not try to bullshit me. I promised myself if I was ever going into this, it's business and only business. I don't plan on getting caught up with any kind of drama. You don't screw me over, I won't screw you over. Savvy? I'd like to do this with as little trouble as possible."

"Oh, so serious," said another succubi slyly. It was the same succubi I mentioned four-to-five chapters ago.

"Don't you start with me!" I said crossly to her with an accusatory finger. I pointed it at all in the room save for Tex. "I haven't forgotten what you guys did to me and a fellow cohort that day! Elephants aren't the only ones who don't forget!"

"Who?" asked another of the incubi. He had one of those stupid haircuts that's short on the sides but is sort of wavy. Whatever you call it, I call eye-rolling. The guy also wore black jeans, a shirt that said "Burn Forest Burn", and an upside down cross around his neck.

"Little imp. Comes up to my knee. Wears a bow tie." I explained.

"Oh yeah! Him!"

"Yeah, him. And quite frankly, he'd think I was nuts if he knew what I was doing here."

"How is the wittle imp wimp?

"That 'imp wimp' is my friend. And like me, he wasn't too fond of that little -what would I call it?- 'a non-consensual gang bang'. Not quite the best way I would describe it, but it was unwarranted nonetheless." I said firmly.

"You're not one of those prudes, are you?" the one with the gray hair asked with a small trace of annoyance in her tone.

"If I was, I wouldn't be here now would I?" I said flatly. "The point is your succubi and/or incubi. What you guys do is your business and not mine. Unless it deals with music, I want no part in it. I'm a team player, and I will do whatever I can to help. But there are some lines I don't cross."

"My, aren't we serious?" said an amused Verosika. She leaned back in her chair with a smirk with feet up on the desk.

"Not always. Just direct and to the point. By reputation, I don't take certain things lightly. I can be chill, but not when business gets serious. Are we on the level then?"

"Let's see what you got first. Think you can handle an audition?"

"I can and I will now if you want. Just tell me how it is and I can improve."

Verosika grinned a cheshire smile. "If you say so." She gestured to the instruments in the room. "Need to use any of these?"

"Only a guitar or piano. More the reason why I brought these." I held up the other folder. A Manila envelope with all the sheet music for the songs I hoped to be most satisfactory to her slutness. Some tuning later, I put on the studio headphones and gave Veros and her posse the thumbs up. Was I nervous? Not since my first ever audition for a part in a haunted house did I ever feel nervous making an impression. A good first impression.

"Whenever you're ready," she said through the intercom. Tex stood next to her and the gang sat wherever. I gave them a nod, placed my music sheets on a stand, and began singing. In musical terms, I'd say I'm probably more of a baritone with a little bit of a tenor. I can go pretty high if the song calls for it, but I can never reach full tenor if that makes sense. That's just how I planned to sing my first song, the combination of Britney Spears and Jack Black's versions of "Hit Me Baby, One More Time". When I sang it, I did a mix of both vocal ranges based on the melody.

As always, I gave it my all while trying to forget about the demons and hellhound on the other side of the glass window. As I sang, I closed my eyes and followed the music I've heard in my head over and over so many times. I finally finished with a great finish and opened my eyes.

There they all were, still looking at me through the window. Judging by their looks, the sex demons seemed pleased with my performance. But what they truly thought about it was yet to be told. Against the likely odds, I prayed silently in my thoughts that they liked it. If not, then it was worth the effort. No harm, no foul.

"Impressive," Verosika said finally. "You certainly have the potential and talent I hoped you'd have."

"Thank you," said I. Then, slowly, I added "Yet, I can't help sense there's a 'but' added to that statement."

Verosika's devilish grin made a return appearance. "There maybe one from one I'm looking at. The question I do have is what's your variety of genres you want to do."

Ah, that question. I had a feeling it was brewing somewhere. "Well, honestly just about anything with some exceptions. I'm more akin to rock music, but I'd like to keep an open mind."

"Ah-huh. And just so you know, if you are going to be with this crew, I want to know just how naughty are you."

A thought in my mind wanted to ask what's that got to do with it, but let's not forget that this was a crew of sex demons. "To be brief, I can deal with kinky, not nasty. Like I said before, I'm not a prude." I eyed the gray-haired succubi again. "And anyone who says different doesn't know their ass from their elbow."

"Show me then, Mr. Townsend," Verosika continued, leaning forward on the console while looking bewitching. "Show me what you got."

"Uh, one second." I scrolled through my music selection, seeking one most appropriate for the situation. Taken aback by her sudden change in tone. Shaking the thoughts out of my head, I found one I thought was fitting of her request. "Kinda Lingers" by Here Come The Mummies. Hopefully, this will be satisfactory for her. The very title of the song is an innuendo of itself if you pay attention to it.

As I played the song, I saw a few of the crew including Tex got the innuendo and slightly giggled at it. Once again, I finished and waited for a response. "Interesting choice," said Verosika through the intercom. "Is that really the best you can offer?"

You know, I was hopeful until she said that. "I have one other alternative. I can play that if you want."

The head succubus hesitated for moment. I could see it on her face. But then she spoke. "Alright. Go ahead."

I decided to go for the same band, but with a different song. This one was "Freak Flag" also by Here Come The Mummies. This one I've always enjoyed. It's a song that says it's okay to let your hair down and have some fun. Although it does concern me about how people will take to its message. You know how common people often misinterpret the message of any song and/or story.

Anyway, getting back to our story, I finished holding on a final note for about fifteen seconds. I got some mixed reactions from everyone. Good, bad and, mixed which worried me so. I know I shouldn't be, because the chances of that happening seems very unlikely. A part of me still hopes, however, that I'd succeed.

"I thought you said you weren't a prude," said the gray-haired succubus with a touch of mockery.

"It's up to interpretation," I said crossly. "It's one of the only other songs I could think of, okay?" I calmed myself down, then cleared my throat. "So was that any better, Miss Mayday?"

"Eh, it's a better choice." Verosika replied. "I think I've heard we've heard enough for today. We'll need to discuss this and let you know if you're good enough."

"Really? No other songs I can play for you?"

"Nope. We'll call you when we got an answer for you. Tex, see that Mr. Townsend gets shown to the door."

*sigh* Had a feeling she'd say that. I thanked her and her posse for the opportunity and told them I hoped to hear from them soon. I did the best to hide any doubt in my voice before being escorted back to the door by her Hell Hound. Walking to the door, I felt a bit disappointed. But what can you do? One of life's biggest lessons is to get use to disappointment. And it seems like Tex sensed it too.

"Hey, don't feel bad, man. You're lucky. She's never allowed anyone to audition for her."

"Me? Feel bad? Tch, who says I am? I gave it my best and that's all I could do. So I have a different taste in music that's different from everyone else's. It's not a big deal for me at all."

"It's okay, man. Don't let it get to you."

"I'm not. I'm fine. Really, I am. I'm fine." I assured him.

"You sure, man?"

"Yes, I'm sure. If I don't get it, I don't get it. Nothing to worry about."

"Alright, if you say so, Barry." Maybe it was just me, but I couldn't help feel like he didn't quite believe me. And I couldn't do that to someone who can be a good friend to me. I sighed and told him the truth.

"Okay, maybe I'm a little worried. Part of me really wants to see if I really do have a shot in the world of singing. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. But…"

I felt a hand on my shoulder and realized that it was Vortex with a friendly smile. "Hey, don't worry about it. If you don't make with my boss, you can always make it elsewhere. You do have a good set of pipes. Maybe not good enough for the big times. But maybe someday you might."

"Great. My singing career comes down to being an "influencer". How fucking goddamn riveting." I grumbled sarcastically. "Well, let's hope you're right. See you 'round, Tex."

"So long, Barry." We shook hands and the limo took me home. On the way home, my mind went into pondering mode, wondering what the outcome will be and how to prepare for said outcome. Being completely unaware of the actual outcome and what was yet to come.


ความคิดของผู้สร้าง
Keaton_Jenkinson Keaton_Jenkinson

-Tenacious D & Britney Spears (Hit Me Baby)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MuXMmMk35xA&list=RDMuXMmMk35xA&index=1&pp=8AUB

-Here Come The Mummies (Kinda Lingers)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iEU4RR5dk54&pp=ygUjaGVyZSBjb21lIHRoZSBtdW1taWVzIGtpbmRhIGxpbmdlcnM%3D

-Here Come The Mummies (Freak Flag)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=E5mYiIhzyos&pp=ygUgaGVyZSBjb21lIHRoZSBtdW1taWVzIGZyZWFrIGZsYWc%3D

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