บท 81: 495
[Chapter 136]
[Prelude to Love (4)]
<Butterfly Lady> Yoon I-byeol.
In her previous life, her reputation as a navigator wasn't solely due to the artifact she possessed.
Her gift that reinforced the Butterfly's Blessing artifact also played a role.
—The Butterfly's Blessing is just a tool. Yoon I-byeol's true value was her gift.
Gift <Visual Sharing>.
A gift that shares the vision of beings imbued with the owner's internal mana.
Yoon I-byeol used the Butterfly's Blessing to create dozens of butterflies, and could examine the battle situation from multiple angles by sharing the butterflies' vision.
It could be said to be an extremely suitable gift for a navigator.
Moreover—
—If On Tae-yang's ability is added, there would be two people using <Visual Sharing> in the party.
Gift <Brave>.
On Tae-yang could use Yoon I-byeol's <Visual Sharing> with his gift.
And when On Tae-yang used <Visual Sharing>, he could also share the vision of party members connected by his gift.
Thus On Tae-yang was able to avoid the 2nd tier monster Maegu's attacks and aim for its openings.
Even if I can't put On Tae-yang in the party, Yoon I-byeol's gift is quite useful.
Probably no navigator like Yoon I-byeol can be found among players of the same generation.
That's why.
Eunha approached her favorably from when he first met her in order to draw her into his party.
He was inwardly using her heart.
"Do you... hate me that much?"
But she confessed.
Eunha who had been deliberately pretending not to know her feelings now couldn't pretend not to know.
Eunha closed his mouth seeing her pleading as if desperately begging.
"—It's not that I hate you."
"Then why... are you doing this?"
"But it's not that I like you either."
"..."
Eunha who opened his mouth after a long time.
Eunha who realized he could no longer avoid it spoke his true feelings.
He doesn't hate her, but he doesn't like her either.
Yoon I-byeol's face distorts.
But she holds back her tears and rather takes a step closer to him while opening her mouth.
"That's why. That's why I'm asking if you can date me for just 1 year."
"..."
"Doesn't saying you neither like nor dislike me mean you don't know what kind of person I am? We could get to know each other while dating."
"..."
"Is that... no good too?"
She sobs while throwing away all her pride.
The person before him was now a prisoner who entrusted all treatment to him.
He could do anything, kill or spare.
Eunha couldn't understand.
Why does she like me this much? Is there a reason to like me this much while doing this?
Rejecting goodwill is simple.
<Undead> No Eunha could do it.
But No Eunha who decided to change the future couldn't reject her.
Rejecting her who had become almost naked meant losing a promising talent who would be reborn as the <Butterfly Lady> in the future.
"I don't even like you... Are you really okay with that?"
"...Yeah. I'm okay. I'm still fine with that. I'm... satisfied with that."
"..."
"I'll... try my best to make you like me, Eunha."
Yoon I-byeol smiles brightly.
Though she should know what she's saying, she nods as if satisfied with just that.
Eunha couldn't answer rashly.
"Hah..."
A sigh escapes.
He didn't know what to do.
But his will hadn't changed.
Use everything that can be used.
Even if that means playing with people's hearts.
Even without that... it's getting hard to keep rejecting engagement proposals.
I need to come up with some countermeasure.
Eunha fell into thought.
He coldly assessed his situation.
He could see that his justification for rejecting engagements coming from the political and business worlds was disappearing for himself who would turn 18 in a few days, now 17 years old.
At most 2 years.
When he graduates from the academy, his justification for rejecting engagements citing studies will completely disappear.
Even his father had limits in blocking engagement proposals coming from various circles.
He would have to at least hear them out.
If I decided to use anything, I should be able to use even my engagement.
<Quick-witted> No Eunha.
He knew he couldn't marry comfortably when the political and business worlds were paying attention to him even though he hadn't graduated yet.
So Eunha was thinking of engagement as a tool he could use if necessary.
But he didn't want to use the weapon of political marriage as much as possible.
It was a last resort.
It could also be expressed as a shred of guilt.
—I feel sorry for the other person.
Their life would be ruined because of me.
He was annoyed too, but.
He who would walk a difficult path felt sorry that he probably wouldn't be able to take care of the other person.
Unless the other person also thought of him as a tool for political maneuvering, if by any chance they actually liked him.
"—Then can you really promise not to ask me to date you after 1 year passes?"
Eunha spoke while looking at the scene beyond Yoon I-byeol's shoulder.
Jeong Ha-yang is on stage.
She is looking this way.
He could sense what she must be feeling even though he was watching from afar.
—Ha-yang is no good.
Jeong Ha-yang is no good.
She who is Alice Group's direct descendant was certainly attractive as a political marriage partner.
But the reason he didn't think of her as a political marriage partner at all despite knowing that was because he knew her feelings.
She might say she doesn't mind being used freely by him, but—
—I'm not like that.
No matter how much I say I'll use anything, I can't use Ha-yang's heart.
Eunha didn't want to use Jeong Ha-yang's heart.
That's why he resolved to distance himself from her again.
In that sense—
—Perhaps dating Yoon I-byeol and making Ha-yang disappointed in me could be one method.
At that moment.
He realized how attractive Yoon I-byeol was as a tool.
Use Yoon I-byeol.
Use her heart to make Yoon I-byeol unable to ever leave his party.
At the same time, use her to make Jeong Ha-yang throw away all the feelings she has for him.
A conclusion was reached.
Eunha decided to answer Yoon I-byeol who was looking at him as if harboring hope.
"—I understand what you're saying. I..."
Love is a contract, a transaction.
There's no such thing as a definite transaction using love as collateral.
Just as she wants something from him, he also wants something from her.
So he would gladly give false love as collateral to close the deal—
"—...Huh?"
No Eunha.
He was dumbfounded by the words Jeong Ha-yang said on stage.
☆
I won't confess.
I'll keep these feelings bottled up like this.
Anyway, it's obvious Eunha won't accept.
They say it's better to regret after doing it than regret not doing it.
—But I can't do it.
Jeong Ha-yang could say no.
Rather than regretting after doing it, it was better to regret not doing it.
Because she could still hold onto hope since nothing had happened yet.
She could protect her tattered heart by clinging to invisible hope.
That's right.
Her heart had long since become tattered.
"Ha-yang, why does your face look like that? Did something happen?"
"...It's nothing, Seo-na. Nothing happened."
She didn't know how many times.
It's been 12 years since knowing Eunha.
She had expressed her feelings to him many, many times since childhood.
But he was too dense to notice.
Though she inwardly raged when she learned it was an act sometime.
Nevertheless, she couldn't hate him.
—I just like him, what can I do?
She was already head over heels for him then.
It couldn't be helped.
Though they were the same age.
He was very mature unlike other kids his age, and above all he was very kind to her.
She had fallen completely for him.
So even if he rejected her, she had the enthusiasm to make him like her.
'You and me.'
'What about other people...?'
'Do you want to go with other people too?'
'...No. Really just you and me?'
And finally.
After a long time, at last.
She noticed his heart wasn't much different from hers.
She thought their hearts had connected.
But Eunha became cold again after the cultural festival ended.
'—I'm sorry. I don't think it's time for me yet.'
When she heard those words from Eunha then.
Jeong Ha-yang felt like something was crumbling.
All sorts of resentment poured out.
Are you playing with me now?
Am I that light to you?
Was I... just that much to you?
What... what part of me is lacking?
Why are you always like this?
She who had been rejected by him once before was so angry at his second rejection.
She locked herself in her room and cried her eyes out.
Of course her pride was hurt and her self-esteem completely disappeared.
Nevertheless, she resented herself for still liking him even after being rejected twice.
"Ha-yang, how about you give the final toast to end the year-end party? Can you... do it? If it's hard, should I just do it?"
"...No. I'll do it."
She had no strength left now.
Her pride was broken, her self-esteem lost, her courage gone.
Jeong Ha-yang gave up.
'I decided to confess my feelings to Eunha.'
'—It will be useless.'
So she envied Yoon I-byeol.
Back then, Jeong Ha-yang could only say those words to her while gathering her pride.
It was the same just now.
She couldn't say anything.
She just earnestly prayed in her heart for Yoon I-byeol to be rejected by Eunha like herself.
[Alright! I'll give the final toast! This time, Ha-yang who hosted the year-end party will give the toast!]
"..."
Jeong Ha-yang got on stage.
Students who filled their glasses were looking at her standing on stage.
She slowly looked around and searched for her close friends.
But what she was truly searching for wasn't them but No Eunha.
...Where could Eunha be?
Recently No Eunha was intentionally avoiding her.
Today too, Eunha just briefly greeted her and disappeared somewhere.
Jeong Ha-yang now didn't even have the energy left to ask him why he was avoiding her.
She just felt sad.
Nevertheless, Jeong Ha-yang searched for No Eunha who must be somewhere here.
Ah...
She finally found No Eunha.
The balcony that's hard to see.
The curtains are fluttering, perhaps from the wind blowing in from outside.
She soon widened her eyes seeing the person standing with No Eunha through the fluttering curtains.
It's Yoon I-byeol.
"..."
Jeong Ha-yang bit her lip.
Though she knew Eunha would reject her, she couldn't help but be bothered.
[I hope everyone had an enjoyable time today. I was really grateful this past year, and I'd like to propose a toast with the meaning of asking for your favor next year too.]
""""Yes—!!!""""
""""Jeong Ha-yang is pretty!!!""""
Her eyes are towards the balcony, but her mouth is towards the audience.
Nevertheless, Ha-yang tightly gripped the microphone and recited the words she had to say.
[When I say 'Next year too'—]
It feels like her heart is rotting.
She really hates No Eunha.
Nevertheless, she feels so self-loathing for not being able to resent him and standing here for his sake.
She doesn't know what she's doing.
I wonder if I-byeol... confessed.
Jeong Ha-yang finished the toast and closed her mouth.
Now she just had to lead the cheer.
She ignored the gazes of students looking at her strangely and dejectedly looked at the balcony.
Her eyes met with Eunha.
No Eunha turns his gaze away.
Screech!!
Noise filled the hall.
Students frowned.
She had unconsciously crushed the microphone in her hand.
Nevertheless, she didn't care about the noise.
Seo-na went to check the sound equipment, and Jeong Ha-yang brought the now headless microphone to her mouth.
"I—"
The noise stopped.
Jeong Ha-yang opened her mouth.
"I—..."
All sorts of thoughts passed by.
She felt skeptical about why she was standing here.
She was angry, sad, resentful.
But putting all that aside, she liked No Eunha so much.
Her heart hurt.
Why do I have to hurt like this?
Then she wondered.
Why, how.
Why is she so sad while No Eunha is so nonchalant?
Isn't it too unfair?
Are you happy receiving I-byeol's confession?
You're so lucky.
Jeong Ha-yang got worked up.
At the same time, she realized she was displeased with Yoon I-byeol confessing to Eunha.
That's when she realized.
That she was such a pushover.
""""...""""
She still lacked desperation.
When she realized that, her vision cleared.
If she really liked No Eunha, she shouldn't just give to him like an idiot but—
—Sometimes I should know how to act like Choi Ga-in.
It's ridiculous but she had to.
She had to know how to act cunningly.
She shouldn't suppress her feelings wanting to look good to No Eunha.
She shouldn't let someone else confess to him while trying to look like a good person.
So she had to flip the table.
She had to become dark.
"I—"
So No Eunha can't distance himself from her.
So Yoon I-byeol can't ignore her.
So she can have No Eunha without fail.
"—I like you, Eunha."
In front of many people.
She confesses these feelings.
Jeong Ha-yang smiled darkly while looking at Eunha who was staring at her with wide eyes.
She got one over on No Eunha.
It felt very refreshing.
""""—Huh??""""
While the students were collectively dumbfounded.
Jeong Ha-yang put strength in the corners of her mouth.
Well then—
—Let's die together.
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