บท 98: I Just Want a Single Ending [98]
"It's alright," Kamigawa reassured her easily.
"…"
Chihaya Anon wanted to say more to show how sorry she was. A simple apology felt so hollow, but what else could she say? Anything more would only drag him through this painful topic even further.
Only now did she fully understand why Soyo had tried so hard to change the subject when she'd mentioned his parents. Asking someone when their parents would be back, only to realize… they weren't coming back at all—there wasn't a worse way to put your foot in your mouth.
Even though she hadn't known, she couldn't shake the feeling that she'd trampled all over his heart.
No wonder Soyo had been so anxious to redirect the conversation.
And he'd even said he didn't mind, but… did that mean he was simply pretending to be strong, just to spare her from feeling guilt?
She didn't know.
Meanwhile, Soyo said nothing, but there was an ache in her gaze as she looked at Kamigawa. She couldn't imagine how hard it must've been for him to stand there, surrounded by friends, and reveal that both his parents were gone.
It would've taken courage beyond words.
As for Chihaya Anon… well, technically, she'd done nothing wrong. After all, she'd been acting out of concern, and it wasn't fair to hold ignorance against someone.
Besides, Soyo remembered all too well that she'd once asked him a similar question, not knowing his past. And he hadn't held it against her then, either.
So… what would blaming Anon really accomplish?
Kamigawa sighed, taking in the mix of sympathy and regret in everyone's expressions. He had known exactly what would happen if he brought this up, which was why he'd tried to avoid it. But seeing Chihaya and Soyo clash over it, he'd had no choice but to clear things up.
Was it painful to admit? No. His heart had long since come to terms with the loss. He'd learned how to live on his own.
He was just thinking this when he felt a hand take his gently.
Turning, Kamigawa met Nijika's warm, empathetic gaze.
"Are you okay?" she asked softly.
"Mm."
The warmth from her palm seemed to flow straight to his heart. She was offering comfort, and he saw no need to refuse.
Rejecting her gesture would only make her worry more.
Looking down, Nijika murmured, "I'm sorry. I should've told the others you lived alone."
If she'd only shared what he'd told her with the others, this whole situation wouldn't have happened. Maybe if she'd arrived earlier that day, she could've avoided this.
"This isn't your fault. I forgot to mention it. There's no need to share the blame." Kamigawa could guess why she was apologizing, so he shook his head. "You don't need to say sorry."
Nijika only tightened her hold on his hand, not replying.
In her own way, she understood his pain; her mother had passed away when she was young, and she'd barely made it through with the support of her sister.
But he had lost both parents… and he was completely alone.
Nijika's gesture of holding Kamigawa's hand was obvious to everyone present, her words and touch providing a form of unspoken support. There was nothing inappropriate about it; anyone could see it was a gesture of pure empathy.
Even so, some couldn't help but feel bothered.
"Staring…"
Soyo squinted at their joined hands with thinly veiled disapproval.
She knew it—she should have asked him to sit next to her earlier.
If she had, she would have been the one comforting him now, and it would have been so natural for an "older sister" to be there for her "younger brother."
Chihaya Anon felt a twinge too. Since it was her question that caused all this, shouldn't she be the one offering him comfort?
But as she sat there, beating herself up over her mistake, Nijika had already taken her chance.
Noticing how their mood hadn't lightened yet, Kamigawa spoke up once again.
"There's no need for you all to feel sorry for me. Really, just act normally around me."
"If anything, it's when you start acting weird that I really feel the pressure," he added with a chuckle.
Hearing his words, Soyo swiftly picked up on his cue. "That's right—let's go ahead and focus on the study session now."
"Yeah."
Nodding, the others tried to shake off the mood and turned their attention back to their books.
---
After making sure Kamigawa was genuinely okay, Nijika withdrew her hand, directing her attention back to Ryo, who needed some tutoring.
"Nijika, so… would you say that was technically holding Kamigawa's hand? Because it sure looked like it," Ryo teased, her voice hushed but brimming with curiosity.
"Don't say something like that out loud!" Nijika's face turned beet-red, and she swatted Ryo a few times in reprimand.
What kind of friend takes a caring gesture and twists it into something scandalous?
Though, strictly speaking… yes, that was holding hands, wasn't it?
It was her first time holding a guy's hand, now that she thought about it. She'd been so swept up in wanting to comfort him that it hadn't even registered. But now that Ryo had brought it up, she couldn't help but feel incredibly self-conscious.
Had she just held Kamigawa's hand right in front of everyone?!
With her embarrassment reaching new heights, she could hardly focus.
Their conversation was barely out of earshot, and Kamigawa could hear every word.
He glanced down at his hand, the one Nijika had held moments ago, and decided to leave it at that.
If she got some comfort out of it, then so be it. He didn't mind.
---
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