บท 72: I Just Want a Single Ending [72] [DDD!]
December Double Drop!
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Kamigawa Saku pondered the question.
Chihaya Anon had opened up to him, sharing her painful past and the insecurities that came with it.
If they weren't close friends, she'd probably never tell him something so personal, right?
Of course, it could also be that Anon just needed to vent, and since he was the only one there, he'd naturally become her listener.
But either way, their relationship had clearly deepened.
Either way, this karaoke trip had turned out to be more than worth it.
Chihaya Anon sighed, then murmured, "So, does this mean I'm just running away?"
"Do you mean running away from studying in England, or… just now?" Saku asked, snapping back to reality.
"I meant just now." Anon's tone held a lingering trace of worry.
"Just now? I was the one who brought you into the room. You weren't running away—I took the lead."
Saku hesitated briefly before giving his answer.
Anon protested, "You did that because you could tell I was anxious, didn't you?"
She understood the intent behind his words: he was trying to take all the responsibility for what had happened earlier so she wouldn't have to feel so bothered by it.
But in truth, it had nothing to do with him—she'd been scared, plain and simple.
"Yes… you were running away." Saku finally admitted, voicing the truth.
"So it really was…"
Anon leaned back into the couch, her face carrying a wry smile.
Even though she'd already sensed the answer, she'd wanted to ask, as if seeking confirmation.
Yet, hearing it from him, like a declaration, still stung a little.
Seeing her crestfallen expression, Saku asked gently, "Can I ask why it bothers you so much? They didn't even notice you."
"If you hadn't been there, they would have," Anon replied flatly.
A fair point.
"Let's not get hung up on hypotheticals," Saku countered. "You could say that, but I could just as easily say that if we hadn't come to this karaoke place, we wouldn't have seen them at all."
"It's because I came back from England to make a fresh start, to put the whole thing behind me," Anon whispered, beginning to open up to him once again.
"After I transferred here, I made new friends, joined my class, and even started a band."
"And, of course, I got to know you."
"For the longest time, I thought I'd put all of that behind me."
"But as soon as I ran into my middle school classmates, that fear came rushing back, and I wanted to hide."
"Even though nothing actually happened, even though they didn't notice me… I could feel my own weakness."
"The truth is, I haven't really moved on from failing in England—I'm still afraid of it."
Saku broke in suddenly, "You can't let one failure define your entire future."
"Eh?"
Anon looked at him in surprise.
The words sounded familiar, as if she'd heard them before.
"That's what you told Tomori when you encouraged her to join the band," Saku reminded her.
With his reminder, Anon recalled the conversation.
Saku repeated, "And what you said back then was to work hard so you don't fail next time. And even if you do, to have the courage to start again."
"..."
Faced with her own words coming back to her like a boomerang, Anon found herself at a loss.
"Just like you said, failing once isn't a big deal. There's no reason to let it bother you," Saku encouraged. "Just keep moving forward."
"That's what you've been doing, right? Making friends, starting a band."
Anon kept her gaze lowered, staying quiet, so Saku went on.
"At the end of the day, the reason you were so scared of them is because you didn't want anyone to know you failed at studying abroad, right?"
"If that's the case, just come up with a different reason."
"For example, say you dropped out of the program in England to pursue playing in a band."
"What kind of ridiculous excuse is that?"
At this, Anon couldn't help but chime in with a sarcastic remark.
"What's so ridiculous about it? Isn't that a perfectly reasonable reason for someone in a band?" Seeing her reaction, Saku pretended to argue back in all seriousness, "I mean, isn't that rock-and-roll?"
"It sure is, very rock-and-roll," Anon admitted with a laugh. Dropping out to pursue music definitely matched people's stereotypes of band life.
"But I was the student council president in middle school! That excuse would totally wreck my image!"
"Sorry, that was just the first excuse I could think of. You can come up with a more suitable one," Saku chuckled before adding, "In my view, there's no harm in telling a little lie here. This kind of lie won't hurt anyone—it just protects you."
"And besides, there's no shame in running away."
"..."
Looking at Saku sitting across from her, Anon had so many things she wanted to say.
She knew every word he'd said was meant to comfort her, to ease her mind about what had happened.
Like he'd reminded her—one failure shouldn't overshadow the future.
In the end, all her thoughts condensed into a single phrase—
"Thank you."
It was the thing she most wanted and needed to say.
"No need to thank me," Saku emphasized, "We're friends, after all."
Since he'd accidentally said a bit too much to comfort her, he felt it necessary to set some boundaries—just to make sure she knew he viewed her as a friend, nothing more.
Friends…
Repeating the word in her mind a few times, Anon found herself agreeing.
After all, they really were friends now.
And now that she'd finally untangled her worries over failing abroad, she found herself not caring as much.
If she hadn't left England, she wouldn't have transferred to this school, or met Saku at all.
Becoming his friend was truly a stroke of luck.
But… could she become even luckier?
"Yes… we're friends," Anon replied softly.
Looks like she understood—thank goodness.
Relieved, Saku felt a weight lift off his shoulders.
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Enjoy my Triple D's!
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