บท 5: Motivation
"Motivation, huh?"
Minamoto Sōjun grew serious.
He recalled his past life:
As one among the army of corporate drones, he had died of sudden cardiac arrest before even reaching 50. It wasn't entirely unexpected—he had felt it coming for a while.
Late nights, consecutive overtime shifts... Occasionally, his heart would twitch sharply, sometimes accompanied by stabbing pain.
Heart problems are no trivial matter. Back then, he had already braced himself mentally, sensing that his body wouldn't last long.
Yet he hadn't cared much. He wasn't particularly attached to the idea of living to old age. As long as he made it to about 70 to justify the social security contributions, that seemed sufficient.
In the end, he hadn't even reached 50, succumbing to sudden death.
Expected, yet unexpected.
Sigh
Sōjun exhaled deeply, releasing a pent-up frustration.
He looked at his hands—long, slender fingers with clean, neatly trimmed nails glowing with a healthy pink hue.
Then he thought back to his martial arts training:
The first time he stepped onto the sparring platform, facing an opponent, his blood boiled, and his trembling hands wouldn't stop.
That physiological response made something clear to him:
"You enjoy this. There's a violent streak in you."
Sōjun didn't shy away from this realization, because this violence was entirely under his control. When he needed peace, he could calm himself. But when it was time to move, he could unleash intensity.
His learning ability was exceptional. This wasn't solely due to his innate technique but also because of his natural talent.
He had the ability to grow stronger than anyone else—to protect those he cared about.
His desires were simple: what he didn't want, no one could force upon him.
With that thought, Sōjun cast aside his past self and refrained from dwelling too much on what he wanted to become.
Instead, he resolved to better embody his current self—not to be a "better" version of himself, but to define his worth on his own terms.
"My good and bad will be judged by me alone."
He lifted his head high, meeting Yaga Masamichi's gaze. "I want to learn jujutsu, to learn how to exorcise curses. Then, I'll become the strongest and protect those around me."
Yaga observed him carefully, murmuring under his breath:
"The strongest… and to protect others, huh?"
It was unclear whether he was speaking to Sōjun or to himself.
Yaga neither affirmed nor denied Sōjun's response. Without lingering on it, he continued:
"From today, at the same time every week, I'll teach you how to become a proper jujutsu sorcerer."
Relaxing his posture, Yaga dropped his earlier seriousness.
"As a jujutsu sorcerer, the most crucial aspect is cursed energy. While everyone's cursed energy has an innate limit, you're still young with plenty of room for growth. The first thing you need to learn is how to refine your cursed energy!"
"How do I refine it?" Sōjun asked, unsure of the specifics. Until now, his cursed energy had grown gradually through repeated use and natural recovery—a slow and passive process.
"When emotions fluctuate intensely, cursed energy dissipates naturally. So, you must learn to control your emotions—or, more precisely, to harness cursed energy amid emotional fluctuations to prevent its waste."
Yaga extended his palm, a soft strand of cursed energy swirling gently in his hand.
"What you need to do is extract cursed energy from even the faintest emotional spark. You can intentionally find something to stimulate your emotions and cause fluctuations."
He waved his hand, dispersing the energy.
"Now, give it a try!"
Yaga sipped tea leisurely, giving Sōjun space to think and experiment.
Sōjun had long accumulated countless ideas but hadn't known where to start. Now that someone was guiding him, his enthusiasm surged.
Yaga's explanation boiled down to a simple formula:
Stimulate emotions → Generate cursed energy → Refine cursed energy.
The jujutsu world brims with curses, but those curses aren't inherently "yours." Sorcerers are more like self-sufficient producers.
Emotion-born cursed energy dissipates unless actively refined, becoming truly one's own.
Sōjun realized he already met most of the criteria.
The key to everything boiled down to control.
Control was his specialty. Cursed energy was as natural to him as moving a limb.
As for emotions?
He could manipulate those too.
Anyone with high school biology knowledge knows this:
- Dopamine: Insufficient levels lead to apathy, anxiety, and nervousness.
- Adrenaline: Excess levels cause irritability and anger.
- Serotonin: Deficiency results in depression and impulsivity.
...
The methods were endless.
But human biology is intricately interconnected. A single misstep could create unintended consequences.
Focusing intently, Sōjun began experimenting:
First, he regulated dopamine to its lowest normal range.
Soon, his perfect self-control induced a faint tension. It was too subtle to generate cursed energy.
Next, he adjusted other hormones, still staying within normal limits.
Emotions began layering—anger, irritation, mixed with sadness and melancholy.
Still not enough!
Sōjun shifted his focus to his soul:
What does a tense soul feel like? What about an angry one? Disgusted? Hateful?
By transforming his soul to match these states, he aimed to evoke corresponding emotions.
His innate technique allowed fine-tuned manipulations, amplifying his negative emotions.
At this point, his state was bizarre—a chaotic mix of contradictory feelings, yet his rationality remained unshaken, as if detached and in control.
Then, he intensified the negativity further.
And that's when he saw it—
Cursed energy.
At first, half of it seemed foreign, belonging to the jujutsu world. But soon, it fully assimilated, becoming entirely his.
...
Yaga silently observed Sōjun, who initially seemed lost in thought but soon sat upright.
Then came a series of changes:
His muscles tensed, his fists clenched, and his expression darkened. An oppressive, negative aura radiated from him, screaming, To hell with the world! Let's all die together!
Yaga felt the oppressive aura seep into him, dragging his mood into despair, anger, and frustration.
Then, a surge of cursed energy appeared, calming as it flowed within Sōjun.
Yaga couldn't help but marvel.
He then saw Sōjun, still in the midst of refining cursed energy, slowly lift his head. His tense body remained rigid, and his dark, menacing gaze locked onto Yaga.
"So… this counts as learning it, right?"
"..."
______________________________________________
If you want 20 chapters ahead, check out my Patreon:
patreon.com/PureParadox
สถานะพลังงานรายสัปดาห์
-- การจัดอันดับด้วยพลัง 
-- หินพลัง