บท 4: In the Park (2)
I trudged through the morning streets of London, swallowing the last bite of Dad's attempt at a Croque Monsieur. The familiar wrought iron gates of the park came into view, and there, just as dependable as ever, stood Louise, her short brown hair almost fluttering in the breeze.
Louise had been my first real friend, back before the strange incidents started happening around me. Before other kids began keeping their distance because weird things seemed to follow in my wake.
She'd stuck by me through it all, even if she didn't understand what was really going on. The thought of leaving her behind for Hogwarts made my stomach twist into knots.
"Hey Louise," I called out, forcing cheerfulness into my voice as I approached the gates.
She smiled that familiar smile of hers, the one that always made her eyes crinkle at the corners. "Hey Felix," she replied, her hazel eyes bright in the morning sun.
We fell into step together, heading towards Mr. Jackson's ice cream truck like we'd done a hundred times before. The summer air was thick with the scent of fresh-cut grass and blooming flowers, a gentle breeze carrying the distant sounds of children playing.
"So anything planned for this summer?" Louise asked, tucking a strand of brown hair behind her ear as we walked along the winding park path.
"Mum's going to teach me a few things about tarot cards," I replied. Divining was the only school magic I actually didn't think had much magic involved after all even muggles used tarot cards or readings.
"That's cool," she said with genuine interest, always supportive of anything involving learning.
"Meh, I think it's all bologna, but hey, nothing bad about learning how to read the future," I said bringing my arms behind my neck like a small walking cushion. "You?"
"Probably studying for next year's curriculum," Louise announced with that familiar determined gleam in her eye, the same one she got whenever she talked about her future plans.
I tilted my head back, searching the vast expanse of sky above us. Even in broad daylight, I could make out a few stubborn stars refusing to fade it was weird no matter how bright or how much light pollution there was I could always see a few stars shining dimly in the sky.
"You're working too hard, Louise. We're kids - we should act like kids," I said, gesturing broadly at the park around us where other children played without a care in the world.
"I want to go to the US for college, so I have to study hard if I want to make it," she explained earnestly, her chin lifting slightly with determination.
"Hmm, too much of a hassle if you're asking me. Besides, we have some pretty good universities here too," I pointed out, knowing even as I said it that she wouldn't be swayed.
"I know, but I want to see the world a little bit, and the beginning for that will be the US," she declared with that unwavering certainty that made me both admire and worry about her.
We reached Mr. Jackson's ice cream truck, joining the queue of children - some with parents hovering nearby, others proudly independent. The scent of fresh waffle cones wafted through the air, making my mouth water despite having just finished breakfast.
When we reached the front, I found myself looking up at the server's familiar face - black hair and sea-green eyes that always seemed to be laughing at some private joke. His name tag read "Percy Jackson," but everyone just called him Mr. J.
"Why hello little lad and lassy," he greeted us with his usual charm, leaning slightly over the counter. "What will it be?"
I glanced at Louise, though I already knew the answer. "Same as usual?" I asked, more out of tradition than necessity.
She nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth, and I turned back to the server. "Two cones with medium-sized scoops, one smurf and one mint, please."
"That will be 2.48 pounds," Mr. J announced, already reaching for the scoops.
I stretched up on my toes to place two fifty on the counter, trying to appear taller than I was. "Keep the change," I said, it could appear as generous but the truth was that I didn't like how small coins felt in my pockets.
"Thanks, mate," he responded with a knowing wink.
He prepared our ice creams with almost jovial practice- my blue smurf first, made from forest berries despite its artificial color, then Louise's mint. Each came with a small plastic spoon and a handful of napkins, just as they always had.
We wandered away from the truck, and I began my usual ritual of carefully stuffing the ice cream deep into the cone until it was completely contained. Then, with the precision of someone who'd perfected this technique over many summers, I took a bite from the bottom and began drinking it like some sort of frozen beverage.
Louise's laughter rang out beside me, clear and musical in the summer air. "What's so funny?" I asked, though I already knew the answer to this familiar exchange.
"Nothing, you just do things weirdly," she responded between giggles, her eyes twinkling with amusement.
"Tell me something I don't already know," I shot back with a grin, even as a pang of sadness hit me - how many more times would we share moments like this?
We finished our ice creams in comfortable silence, eventually settling down under the shade of our favorite oak tree. Through the canopy of leaves, I could still make out a single persistent star, twinkling faintly.
I was nearly dozing off when I remembered why we were really here. My heart began to race, but I kept my eyes firmly shut, arms crossed behind my head, trying to gather my courage.
"Hey Louise," I said finally, my voice barely above a whisper.
"Yeah?" she responded, and I could hear the rustle of grass as she turned toward me.
"I won't be able to go to high school with you," I forced out the words, each one feeling like lead on my tongue.
I felt her shift beside me, likely sitting up to stare down at me. I kept my eyes closed, afraid of what I might see in her expression. The silence stretched between us like an elastic band about to snap.
"Why not?" she asked finally, her voice small and uncertain.
"I have to go to a boarding school," I explained, the half-truth tasting bitter in my mouth.
"A boarding school?" she repeated incredulously. "You mean we won't even be able to see each other outside from school?"
"No, we won't," I admitted, my throat tightening around the words. "I will be back for Christmas though," I added quickly, as if that could somehow make it better.
"Why?" she demanded, and I could hear the hurt creeping into her voice.
"Why what?" I stalled, though I knew exactly what she was asking.
"Why are you going to a boarding school? Which one are you going to? Maybe I can join you," she suggested hopefully, and my heart sank even further.
This was the part I'd been dreading. "No, you won't be able to. It's a very elite school," I said carefully, hating every word.
"So? I have good grades. I'm sure I can make it in," she insisted, her voice taking on that determined edge I knew so well.
"Not that kind of elite, Louise." The words tasted like ash in my mouth. I hated using her family's financial situation as an excuse, but it was the only plausible explanation that wouldn't involve breaking the Statute of Secrecy.
"Oh." The soft sound carried more hurt than any shout could have, and I felt like the worst friend in the world.
"Do you need to go?" she asked quietly, a last desperate attempt to change what couldn't be changed.
"It's where I'll learn stuff I'm actually interested in, so yes, I need to go." It wasn't entirely a lie - I was desperate to learn proper magic, whenever magic was involved my normal laziness when it came to studying would completely disappear and would be replaced with so much excitement that I had to walk around while reading books about the subjects.
I heard a small hiccup beside me and kept my eyes firmly shut, knowing that if I looked at her now, my resolve might crumble entirely.
"Well, if it's what you want to do, I'm not going to stop you," she said with forced brightness that didn't quite mask the tremor in her voice.
"Thanks for understanding, Louise," I managed to say past the lump in my throat.
"I've got to go now," she announced abruptly, her voice thick with unshed tears.
I cracked open my left eye just enough to see her struggling to hold back tears as she hurried away, her shoulders hunched and her steps quick and uneven. The sight made my chest ache.
Tomorrow, once she'd had time to process everything, I'd try to talk to her again. Just because I was going to Hogwarts didn't mean we couldn't still be friends - even if she could never know the whole truth.
As her footsteps faded away, I opened my eyes fully to stare at that stubborn star still visible through the leaves. It seemed dimmer now, but it never stopped twinkling.
"I feel like shit."
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