บท 11: Chapter 11: Cursed Cliche
Riser POV
Arriving at the venue, I could see a lot of high-class devils and many of them are pureblood devils.
I mean typical, this is a great event after all. A union between two of the pillar devil families. Haa, just being here is exhausting me already. And I am not a guest. I am the main character right now. Do I really have to exude that main character vibe or do I just go fuck it and do whatever I like?
I mean what are they even going to say, this is my party, well our party if I include Rias. All hail, Capitalism. If they don't like my attitude then I should just kick them out. Yeah you know what my aura will just be too much if I try and act like a main character anyway so…
Going around the party, I saw Sona Sitri. The hardass of a devil that will eventually torture every devil in the way of the japanese schooling system in the underworld. I mean, I thought Akeno was a sadist, but she is just downright cruel. Why would you subject the devils into the Japanese schooling system? They are already in hell and now you are going to torture them even more.
So being committed to my devil may care attitude, I called out to her "Hey, hardass!!" in the earshot of everyone in the room. And they could clearly tell that I was referring to her as I was waving my arms looking straight at her.
Her eyebrows twitched. "Are you referring to me?" I could tell she contemplated just ignoring me outright but she must have known I would just have doubled down.
"Who else here has a stick up their ass so high that they constantly have a constipated expression?" I told her sarcastically.
Her eyebrows twitched twice that time. Hahahaha this is actually kind of fun.
"Since we are being honest anyway, then I will tell you right now that Rias will make your life a living hell. As they say a happy wife is a happy life. And she is definitely not happy." she shot right back to me.
"Oh you would be surprised." She narrowed her eyes on me. "But if we really are speaking honestly, then have you finally stopped blue balling Levi-tan? I swear that I actually pity Levi-tan with the hope you keep feeding her just to yank it back you know. You were my OTP too." I told her conspiratorially.
She curled her eyebrows at that "OTP?" she breathed out softly.
"Oh? You have eyeglasses and you don't even know what OTP means? I thought you read Sona-chan." I teased her
"What does having glasses have to do with knowing an abbreviation?" she hissed sharply. She must have thought I was questioning her intelligence.
"Oh, come on Sona-chan, don't be so mad. OTP just means 'One True Pairing', many of the devils may disagree with your relationship, because you can't have offsprings but I believe in you. Go get that twin tailed satan, and push her in bed and ravage her until she can't even do her magical girl persona anymore." I shouted at the top of my lungs making everyone look at us.
Some devils looked at us with a white face. Some looked amused. Some looked with interest. Some looked with a blushing face. But the most interesting face was the face of the girl in front of me. Filled red with indignity with a glare as fierce as the juggernaut driven Issei actually had.
"Well that's all I wanted to say, bye bee!!!" I slithered out of there as fast as I could like, no way was I staying for a lecture there.
Then I spotted Rias' peerage. Well at least a few of them. I saw the raven haired queen wearing a black kimono like she was going to a funeral. The white haired loli wore a cute pink dress and the knight in a black tuxedo with slicked back blonde hair. Honestly if I was gay I would totally be gar for him. Like I am a certain archer.
"Well hello there, my cute wife's subordinates. How are you all doing this fine evening?" They looked at me with all the venom they could have in their eyes. They didn't even reply. They just stared at me. But they all had smiles on their faces that didn't reach their eyes.
They have been trained well in decorum it seems.
"No, but seriously. How are all of your injuries? Is there anything that feels off with you all?" I asked them. Taking care of the kids is one of the duties of the husband after all. I don't want to fight for custody if we get divorced.
"We are just fine, thank you." they replied in a cold voice.
"Sorry about the match but I just wanted to teach you all a lesson so you could better protect Rias in the future." I told them.
"Discard your hate, Himejima Akeno. Is your hate for your father so high that you can't ignore it for your master, best friend, and sister." I told her glaring at her. "And learn some damn martial arts, your showing was the most pathetic of your peerage."
"Good job, Shirone. But don't fear your own power. There is more to the story about her than you know. Go all out and don't be afraid, you did it in the rating game after all. Find the truth yourself, if you can't then let me help you." I told her gently.
"And Isaiah… Honor your comrades, Don't forget them. But your hate is directed at the wrong thing. Go for the ones who killed them, like Galilei, not the thing that did." I spouted some bullshit on why I made everyone in my peerage jumped him. Hopefully he is distracted enough by what I said.
And well, all of them look blue-screened. Well, someone knowing your past when you barely interacted with them must have struck them after all.
Haa this is what happens when all your peerage needs therapy Rias. just a little nudge and they get PTSD, and their angsty teenagers. So they are even more dramatic, like gen-z's are.
Walking away I also see Ravel together with my peerage, bragging to everyone about how I got me a wife because of my strength. Ravel that is not a compliment as much as you would want it too. She is definitely a devil of pride. I should be the one proud of her, she landed a black flash before me. I need to get stronger so I don't get left behind. I am her idol after all. I can't play catch up with her. What would that say about the strongest.
And I really should reward everyone in my peerage. I am not going to be able to sleep for a week am I? My poor hips will be shattered and then regenerated only to repeat the cycle. Can't really complain though. This is what I wished for.
After some time enjoying the party, I walked towards the stage. And called the attention of the devils there.
"Well, well. So here I am, noble houses of the underworld. On behalf of the Phenex house I would like to thank you for coming!" I said sarcastically but these stupid idiots just ate it up like the empty headed people that they are.
"The reason that we, the Phenex, invited you here is for you to be part of this grand event. As I am to be engaged to Rias Gremory, the next head of the distinguished house of the Gremories. Now then allow me to present my friend and soon to be bride, Rias Gremory!" I gestured flamboyantly because I know that dramatics are really important here in the underworld. Especially to an anime obsessed girl like Rias.
And dramatically a teleportation circle appeared and out came Rias Gremory, her bodacious body being hugged by a tight fitting dress. Her hair flaring out together with the flames that accompanied her but not burning in the slightest. Her eyes closed and then…
Like it was meant to be, like fate itself was fighting me. Against all odds, the door to the venue was opened just as dramatically as a guard came flying through. The black flash victim stood proud with his left front side of his hair being white.
This damn main character keeps coming back damnit.
"President!!!" The idiot shouted.
"Issei!!" Rias exclaimed.
"I am Hyoudou Issei, of the Kuoh Academy Occult Research Club! The President's, no, Rias Gremory's virginity belongs to me!" The NTR victim shouted.
I consider myself tolerant of all things. He ogled my peerage, fine. They look good after all. I know he got a lap pillow from Rias, but fine, they were doing it for practical reasons, to unlock his power after all. But for him to shout at all the devils here that my fiance's virginity is his.
Cursed energy burst out of me. All my negative emotions from humiliation, to anger, to self-doubt, were all converted to cursed energy. All my tweaking came to a calm.
Rias herself took a step back from me. And many devils close were looking at me with wonder. No doubt they have never seen a darker energy than what I was exuding right now.
Meanwhile Issei continued to beat up guards that were starting to surround him and the other's from the same peerage started helping.
"Issei-kun, let us handle this." Isaiah was cutting guards even more brutally, than I remember him from the anime. I must have really gotten under his skin.
"You're late." The nekoshou stated with a faraway look.
"You finally decided to come, now go on Issei-kun." the queen beckoned.
"Hai!!" the pawn responded.
"Lady Rias, what is this?" An NPC asked.
And then the greatest power on Rias' side answered. There it is. And the whole reason for Rias' personality. Here comes nepotism.
"This is the entertainment I prepared." Answered the Crimson Satan.
"Brother!" Even Rias was surprised.
"Are you interfering with 'House' politics, Sirzechs?" I questioned coldly. I know this could still come. But I thought they did this because in canon, Issei fought many pieces then lost to Riser, so he must have been too exhausted to fight me. But in this case, I basically fought him one on one, except when Ravel cut in halfway.
He raised his hand to stop me from continuing like he was talking to a child. "Riser, I watched the game with great interest. However, against my sister, who had no game experience, and with you grouping up against each of her pieces. I was left somewhat underwhelmed." He stated cooly.
"You're not satisfied with the battle then?" I questioned.
"No, no, but if I could interject, the rating game itself has lost some of its significance. Especially this time, circumstances being what they are." What is he even yapping about, it was clear I won, there is no what-ifs in that battle that we could have lost.
"This is my dear sister's engagement party. I wanted to add some spice to it. You there, boy…" he addressed the Red Dragon Emperor.
"I'd like to see the power of the dragon within you with my own eyes, this time without going berserk. So I had Grayfia make some arrangements. A dragon vs phenex, a true one on one. What do you say about clashing two legendary powers?" He made everyone intrigued with his question to peer pressure me into agreeing.
"O-Onii-sama!" Rias exclaimed worriedly.
"Dragon-user, Would you be good enough to show me, and the upper-class nobles here, the power that you possess?" He questioned the pawn.
"Yes!" The emperor said confidently.
"Issei, don't do this." Rias worriedly told her pawn, this is one of her good points isn't it?
"Now then, what would you like if you win?" He finally revealed his plan.
"My Lord, surely you don't intend to reward him for this." Another NPC interjected.
"Since I am asking for a favor, I must compensate him for it, no? So what do you want, devil-kun, a title? Perhaps a great wealth? A woman of high beauty?"
"I would like the President, I mean, Lady Rias Gremory to be returned to us please."
"Alright then, and what about you Riser-kun, you haven't said anything for a while now?"
"So I am supposed to fight this low ranking devil for your entertainment, and to prove to all the devils here that I didn't win because of my peerage and sister?" I was close to breaking this man's jaw. This really is nepotism isn't it. They didn't even ask Rias what she wanted and just continued talking over her.
"But I REFUSE!!!" I shouted with a face carved of stone. "One of my absolute favorite things to do, is to tell someone who I think is strong 'NO'" I absolutely nailed the delivery and everyone in the room got quiet. Many, especially my peerage, got scared for my life.
And the silence was broken by the hysterical laughter of my fiance and her doubling over on the floor still laughing.
~~~
A/N:
Jojo's references all around. And the start of the Rias seduction arc. I think I have an idea of what to do with it. Hopefully it will turn out okay. And isekai is definitely happening.
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