บท 82: Chapter 82: Third Hokage: That Kid Naruto Is... Very Well-Behaved
"Puff—"
The Third Hokage exhaled a puff of smoke, watching the laid-back figures of Jiraiya and Naruto in front of him. His furrowed brow seemed like it could crush a mosquito.
Just ten minutes ago, he had received a report from the Anbu that these two troublemakers had snuck off to the cemetery… only to snack on offerings left for the fallen heroes of Konoha.
When he first heard the news, the Third nearly fainted on the spot, almost joining his old friend Danzo in the hospital.
The cemetery—of all places. A solemn resting ground for the brave heroes who had sacrificed their lives for the village.
And yet, these two… not only had they disturbed the peace there with their noise, but they'd even gone so far as to help themselves to the offerings.
What would the families of the deceased think if they found out?
Many of those graves held entire families who had perished together.
Just imagining how the departed might feel, seeing these two disrespecting their rest, made the Third Hokage's blood pressure skyrocket.
He could almost understand it from Naruto. That kid causing trouble around the village was nothing new…
But Jiraiya, who should have long outgrown such antics? That was enough to make the Third Hokage furious.
"What in the world were you two thinking?"
"How could you behave so outrageously in a place dedicated to Konoha's heroes?"
Faced with the Third Hokage's scolding, Jiraiya looked off to the right, while Naruto stared to the left. Both wore expressions that clearly said, Keep talking—we're not admitting any fault here.
The Third, feeling his blood boil, shakily reached into his desk, took out some medicine, and quickly swallowed it. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself, barely avoiding passing out.
"Those were offerings!"
"What were you thinking?"
The Third Hokage's hoarse voice sounded like an old man on his last legs.
Naruto picked at his nose, his gaze drifting as he decided to explain first, beating his white-haired mentor to it.
"Offerings are just a way for the living to express their grief and respect for the dead…" he said, sounding strangely philosophical. "Better that a young, healthy guy like me eats them than let them rot at the cemetery."
"Oh, and this old guy's the one who taught me that."
Naruto promptly threw Jiraiya under the bus, and the Third Hokage's glare turned sharply onto Jiraiya.
Even Jiraiya, thick-skinned as he was, felt his face flush at hearing his own words echoed back like that.
He shot Naruto a withering glare.
"Brat!"
"When did I ever teach you that?!"
"Don't listen to his nonsense, old man! I'm completely innocent!"
Jiraiya dodged as if avoiding an incoming projectile of blame.
"Oh?" Naruto grinned. "White-haired geezer, are you saying you didn't tell me that?"
"You little—!"
Naruto's words lit a fire in Jiraiya instantly.
The atmosphere grew tense, a powder keg ready to blow, with the two of them on the brink of a brawl right there in the Hokage's office.
Bang—
The Third Hokage slammed his desk, standing up in anger.
"Enough!"
"Do you two even respect me as the Hokage?!"
"If you want to fight, take it outside!"
Seeing the Third's rare outburst, both of them instinctively pulled back, shrinking their necks slightly. They exchanged a look, both scoffing before turning away from each other with a huff.
Jiraiya felt certain that this brat had it out for him. If not for respecting the old man, he'd teach this blond kid a lesson right here and now.
After a moment of tense silence, the Third Hokage looked at Naruto's figure, rubbed his temples, and spoke in a resigned tone.
"If you keep causing trouble like this… well, you can forget about the Sealing Scroll."
It was his last attempt to get Naruto to behave, using the scroll as a bargaining chip.
Naruto, however, merely glanced at the old man, clearly unimpressed.
Whatever…
The Chunin Exams were coming soon, and he'd be attending the Third's retirement feast soon enough. Who knew if the new Hokage would even hold him to that promise?
Still, out of some strange respect for the old man who didn't have much time left, Naruto gave a quick, obedient nod, feigning submission.
"Hm… maybe I'll let the old man have a few quiet days."
"And you!" the Third Hokage snapped, turning his attention to Jiraiya. "Didn't I have the Anbu summon you to see me?"
"Why have you been avoiding the Hokage's office?"
"If they hadn't caught you today, would you have never bothered coming to see me at all?"
The Third unleashed his pent-up frustration on Jiraiya.
He'd waited so long for Jiraiya to return to the village… only for him to spend his days drinking in bars or peeking into the women's bathhouses. Whenever the Anbu sought him out, he'd just wave them off, saying he'd come when he was "free."
"Ha ha ha…" Jiraiya chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "Well, it's been a while, so I thought I'd see how much the village has changed."
Then, he remembered what Kakashi had mentioned to him that morning—that the Hokage wanted him to train Minato's son.
Maybe bringing that up now would calm the old man down a bit.
"Oh, right."
"I heard you wanted me back here to train Minato's kid?"
As he mentioned Minato, a serious expression crossed Jiraiya's face.
Minato… after all these years…
His kid must be around the same age as this annoying brat beside him.
Just as Jiraiya expected, the Third's expression softened upon hearing those words.
He remained silent, though, his gaze shifting toward Naruto, who stood there, seemingly lost in thought.
An awkward silence fell over the room.
Jiraiya looked between the blond kid and the old man's somber face. A suspicion dawned on him, one that he was reluctant to believe.
"Old man…"
"Don't tell me…"
Seeing the Third's unyielding gaze on Naruto, an ominous feeling grew in Jiraiya's heart.
It couldn't be true! Minato's kid couldn't possibly be this… annoying little brat, could he?
Surely not!
"Yes." The Third's voice was low but certain. "He is Minato's son, Uzumaki Naruto."
Jiraiya: !!!
Hearing this bombshell, Jiraiya was momentarily stunned. After a few seconds, as the reality sank in, he rubbed his face and turned to leave, pretending not to care.
"Jiraiya!"
"If you dare walk out that door… then don't bother coming back!"
The Third Hokage was livid. He'd waited years for Jiraiya to return and take Naruto under his wing, and now Jiraiya was just about to walk away without a word.
He couldn't accept it! And neither could the village.
Jiraiya turned back, raising an eyebrow. "Oh, is that supposed to be a good thing?"
The Third Hokage slumped back in his chair, clutching his chest as he tried to steady his breathing, feeling as if he were on the verge of a heart attack.
"Calm down, old man!" Jiraiya said, finally relenting as he rushed over to the Third.
Naruto, by now, knew the routine well. After watching the Third take his medicine so many times, he already knew exactly where he kept it.
He opened the drawer, grabbed a whole handful of the Third's fast-acting pills, and offered them to him.
Seeing Naruto's concern brought the Third a hint of comfort—though when he looked at the fistful of pills Naruto was offering, he couldn't help but think, Are you trying to speed up my demise?
The Third pushed Naruto's hand aside, taking only two pills himself. Even after taking the medicine, he still looked as if he were on death's door.
He took Jiraiya's hand, as though entrusting him with his final wish.
"Jiraiya… I don't have many years left."
"I just want you to teach Naruto…"
Jiraiya glanced at Naruto, then back at the visibly frail Third Hokage. After a long, agonizing pause, he sighed and finally nodded.
"All right…"
"I'll do it."
The Third's eyes lit up instantly. He gripped Jiraiya's collar with newfound strength.
"You're not allowed to go back on this!"
Jiraiya's expression shifted, realizing he'd fallen right into the old man's trap.
To ease his friend's mind, the Third Hokage even uttered a line that might've been the biggest lie of his life.
"Jiraiya, trust me…"
"That kid Naruto is… very well-behaved."
Naruto stared at him, stunned. Even he felt embarrassed at hearing that.
How does the old man say that with a straight face?
But then the Third Hokage shot him a look, one that carried a clear message.
Naruto scratched his head, flashing an innocent, almost sheepish smile.
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