บท 15: CHAPTER 15: UNCERTAINTY
ELIZA
Why was I suddenly thinking of Eric?
I suddenly retreated and looked at him in the eye, I could see how disappointed he was.
I pulled away from Lincoln, my heart racing with excitement and confusion. Why had he said he loved me? He had never spoken those words before, and I didn't know how to process them.
Lincoln looked at me, his eyes filled with disappointment and confusion. "What's wrong, Eliza?" he asked, his voice husky with desire.
I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. "I…I need to go," I stammered, getting up from the bed.
Lincoln's face fell, but he nodded.
I quickly got up and left the room, my mind racing with thoughts. Why had Lincoln said he loved me? Was it just a heat-of-the-moment thing, or did he really mean it?
And why was I thinking of Eric now? I had been so caught up in the moment with Lincoln, but now Eric's text came flooding back into my mind.
I felt a pang of guilt and confusion. What was I doing? I was pregnant with his child, but here I was thinking about Eric who all of a suddenly remembered my existence.
I didn't know what to do or who to turn to. I felt lost and alone, and I didn't know how to escape this tangled web of emotions.
As I walked out of my room, I knew I needed to make a decision. I couldn't keep going on like this, living this complicated life of mine and unsure of what I wanted.
It was after I left the room and had gotten down stairs that I realized the stupidity of what I did. I had left Lincoln in the room, my own room. I stopped myself from face palming and went straight to the study room. I needed to clear my head.
I stayed there for about two hours, thinking and gently caressing my still flat stomach. By the time I got back to the room, Lincoln was gone. I breathed out and went off to bed.
I skipped breakfast in the morning because I didn't feel like it and I didn't want another awkward scenario. I just told Maggie to pack me something for lunch.
I got on with the leftover work from yesterday – a lot on my table to be cleared. I was so engrossed in the work till I heard
"Package for Eliza Vance"
I looked up from my table to my colleague who held the package.. she wiggled her eyebrows at me.
I quickly got off my table and grabbed the package from her.
"You don't want to share who that is from?" she asked
"I don't think you need to know" I replied
Just then a message popped up on my screen, from Eric
"Did you like my gift?" followed by a call
"Eric!"
"I thought I should give you a little something, you know just like before"
I sighed.
"You don't like it? You mentioned you work at grey's now so.."
"It isn't really necessary but thank you" I cut him off.
"I'm sorry if I put you in a weird position"
"It's fine, I'm good. I'll talk to you later I'm at work"
I looked into the bag and just dropped it at my side for later. I had lunch from the pack Maggie made me and the time was just going by…. Even though my colleagues passed me some kind of look because of the package from earlier.
Work ended for the day – I packed my stuff and waited for Lincoln to get out of his office so we could leave. We hadn't said a word to each other since last night. I held the gift from Eric in hand and followed him right to the car when he was out of the office.
The car ride was silent. I was so bored – I yawned. My phone rang and it was Eric. I looked between my screen and Lincoln who was busy with his phone. Since he was busy I picked the call – at least I could have some company till we were home.
"Heyyy" I cooed
I looked at Lincoln with a side glance but bro was unmoving.
' I might as well enjoy this call' I said to myself.
My call lasted till we got home then I even retired to my room and I still didn't get a reaction out of Lincoln. Boring enough.
LINCOLN
I don't know what came over me yesterday, I just found myself in Liza's room doing heaven knows what and I somehow slipped a line I shouldn't but it felt so good – so good to have her in my arms and giving sloppy kisses. I was loosing my senses, it was getting so heated on and she all of a sudden pulled away.
She just pulled away.
And left the room
I sat there for a while trying to wrap my head around what had happened. The turmoil in me and the reaction she gave. It was disturbing but I had to pull myself together. I can't fall. Only the heavens know the kind of magic – something I believe Africans call 'jazz' she's using because it's really working. When it looked like she wasn't coming back after some minutes – I didn't even want her to still meet me here if she returned, I quickly left.
I caught a glance of her in the study – deep in thought.. whatever it is I hope she's okay
Work was already hectic and frustrating enough – I pulled on my tie as I made my way out of my office after the day's work. I noticed Eliza already packed her stuff waiting for me so we could leave.
Asides tired, she looked very okay to me and she had a gift bag!!
I know I have not been the best of persons but now someone was gifting her??!!
I still maintained composure and some sort of swerve or steeze, I wouldn't want her thinking I'm into her now. Just a few minutes into the car ride and she was on a call – laughing, and smiling at whoever it was.
Could it be whoever that was gifting her?
Right in my presence.
I pretended to be on my phone but all the while I listened to her – the excitement in her voice.
So she was seeing someone while she was still with me. Why was I complaining? I had always clearly made it clear to her.
I had other things to do, so when we arrived home – as strange as it sounds for us both to call it home, I just moved to my study to continue my work from where I stopped at the office.
I felt like my father was standing behind me with a gun at my head with the ultimatum he gave me.. all I can think about is work.
" can I come in?" I heard her voice at the door.
" Yh, that's fine" I said without looking up
"Dinner is ready but maggie said you're busy so I thought to bring it to you" she entered with a tray in hand.
She just set it on the side table
" Is there anything else I can help you with?"
I finally looked up and we made eye contact.
" No! I would not want to disrupt your time with your boy toy"
I didn't say anything more, I just heard the door close.
ELIZA
After the call I had with Eric and me serving Lincoln dinner that night while he worked, our conversations have not been more than good mornings and let's go home. For the past one week we have been in and out of meetings - lunch meetings and dinner. We just come home and rest for showers and we are out again early in the morning. My week has really been hectic, it only got interesting during times when Eric sent me gift packages making my female colleagues coo at me. I noticed the expression on Ric also, like he was disappointed. Oh he shouldn't be, I had always made it obvious to him that the relationship we had was just work based. I only liked that he was hard working and also very cheerful.
As I sat at my desk at the office, I sighed for the hundredth time rubbing my temples. Why was everything so complicated. I tried to focus on my work, but my mind kept going back to Eric and Lincoln.
My phone buzzed, it was a text from Eric.
Speak of one of the devils.
"Hey Lizzie. Are you busy?"
I wasn't, so I decided to reply his text immediately. "No, why? Want to send me another package?"
"Haha.. no. I was just wondering if I could get to hear your voice, on call I mean"
I wasn't busy "Sure, I'd love to talk to you."
He called and we talked for a while, laughing and joking like old times. I felt a sense of comfort with him, like I could be myself.
Minnie came to my desk asking for a file, she noticed I was on call and how I was smiling sheepishly. She wiggled her eyebrows at me, teasing me; and then went ahead to pick up the file she needed.
"You're so in love" She told me while shaking her head, before leaving.
I continued the call with Eric. As we talked, I started to feel a little dizzy. I brushed it off as fatigue, but the dizziness grew stronger.
"Eric, I think I need to go," I said, trying to sound calm.
"Is everything okay?" he asked, concern filled in his voice.
"Yeah, I'm just a little...tired," I replied, my vision blurring. I ended the call and got up.
Suddenly, the room spun around me, and I felt myself falling. I tried to grab onto my desk, but it was too late.
Everything went black.
I only started hearing people's muffled voices and countless yelling of my name.
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