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79.45% One Piece : Descent / Chapter 58: Chapter 30: Robin and Rosan

บท 58: Chapter 30: Robin and Rosan

Portgas D. Rosan meant everything to Robin.

The scholars... Saul... Olvia... She loved them all but none affected her to the degree that one little boy did.

He managed to breath a second wind into her life that she never thought she was going to get. That she didn't think she could get because of her circumstances.

But none of her circumstances mattered to Rosan except for the fact that she was alone. He was her best friend, her protector, her light. Shielding her from the darkness of the world with a shining personality that made her feel alive.

When the entire world turned their backs on her, condemning her to a life of pain, hatred and hardship, one little 4 year old extended a hand that she had desperately needed her entire life. One little four year old showed her that there were good things in life...

Breaking down all her barriers like they were made of paper, Rosan quickly established himself as the most important person in her life and vice versa. It was a title that they both cherished and their bond only got stronger over the 4 years they spent traveling.

Both were obviously content to spend the rest of their lives together, as long as they got to be around each other. Robin and Rosan were in complete harmony with each other and it didn't matter if the entire world scorned them, if they had each other.

But Rosan died.

Rosan died because of Robin and that broke her because it confirmed her worst fears. She was incapable of forming bonds with people because at the end of the day, someone who was after her, would get their hands on them and they managed to get their hands on her best friend.

She wasn't stupid. Rosan's disappearance and a sudden surge of Marines on the island they were currently staying on, searching for her, rang clear alarming bells in her mind.

It was likely that Rosan had been discovered while they were observing her… He paid the price for being her ally and she managed to get away again.

To know that the one person she wanted to protect above all, had met his end because of her, had ripped that second wind out of her.

But she couldn't give up. She couldn't because of her little ray of sunshine's request.

"If anything happens to me… you have to try and be strong for the both of us okay Robin?" A tiny little redhead, eyes so large and innocent begged her.

That was what Rosan had asked of her and that's what she had stubbornly done. Wiping her eyes of tears, Robin placed an invisible mask over her face, complete with a fake smile and glacial blue eyes, as she continued to live for his sake because she refused to let him down in any capacity.

The only time she allowed her mask to crack, was when thinking about Rosan but she didn't cry anymore. It seems she finally ran out of tears…

"...You look tired… Robin."

...So why? What was this sensation? Hadn't her eyes dried up? Why were there tears streaming down her face currently? Wasn't she... Wasn't she out of tears?

But didn't the circumstance warrant tears? After all, she was currently looking at the very light she had written off as dead.

"I… I don't want to be the reason you give up, so please keep fighting until we see each other again because I won't die."

The words of a tiny Rosan, reverberated through her mind nonstop. Wide purple eyes looked up at her in the middle of their bath, gazing at her with nothing but concern and love and above all else, terror. Terror that she would have no purpose if he was not there and not wanting that to happen at all.

Nico Robin hesitantly placed a hand on the redhead looking her directly in her eyes (they were filled with so much guilt!), eyes going wide as she made contact, and she let out a choked sob as she realized he hadn't been lying.

She thought she ran out of tears for Rosan. She thought she moved on at least a little. She thought she came to terms with his death...

She didn't.

Throwing away all pretenses, the woman slammed herself into Rosan's body and let loose all the tears she had been storing for years, desperately clutching the redhead with every fiber in her being and taking in everything with a swell of relief.

Rosan flinched at the action before he hesitantly wrapped his hands around her, guilt seeming to come off him in waves as she fully wrapped her arms around him and Robin melted in the embrace.

"R-Rosan I can't believe it! I-I… I thought you were dead for s-so long a-and I just… I wanted to g-give up but I… but I couldn't because I didn't want to let you down and now you're actually here!" Robin sobbed loudly, holding him like he'd disappear at any moment.

"...I'm here Robin, really. I… I'll always be here," Rosan whispered softly.

She shuddered at his deep and quiet voice and just nodded, trying to tighten her grip even further.

This was so overwhelming for her. Never in her wildest dreams did she think she'd find her, supposedly dead, best friend again in the middle of the ocean.

She… She hoped that this wasn't some twisted dream like all the other ones.

Rosan watched in real time, as the glaciers in Robin's eyes melted away, replaced by something so much more desperate. Desperate because of him.

As he looked into those desperate eyes, roaming every inch of his body to make sure he was real, Rosan, for the first time in years, felt an overwhelming amount of guilt for what he had thought and done.

It didn't matter if the Virus made him zero in on Nico Robin. It didn't matter if they used his infamous anger against him, turning him against his best friend. What mattered is that Rosan fell for it and that was utterly unforgivable.

His own glacial gaze, wavered at the sight of Robin crashing into him and he frowned deeply at taking so long to find her.

"I can't do anything right," he thought to himself darkly. Time and time again, he managed to prove that he was a failure and it always affected the ones he loved most.

"Robin, I'm so sorry for—," Rosan tried to say but the woman immediately shushed him, much to his surprise.

"Not right now. Just... just let me soak this all in. Please. We have so much to talk about but right now I just don't want to think at all," Robin begged, burying herself deeper into his, now taller, frame. He was so warm a-and he was taller than her now and his face had matured so much from that utterly adorable child!

Rosan just stared at her for a long moment.

If that's what she wanted, he'd acquise. No matter what she requested, he'd follow it because she deserved it after what he did. Even if she claimed to hate him and wanted nothing to do with him, he'd respect her decision.

"...Okay," he said nearly inaudibly, hugging her close and tight, enveloping her in his warmth so that she understood that for at least the moment, she was safe.

Robin let out a shaky whimper at that sensation, shutting her eyes even despite the fact that the tears wouldn't stop flowing. It was a feeling she hadn't felt in a terribly long time and it felt as good as the first time.

He could explain himself after she woke up because he was actually here to do that. For once, she could think about all the complicated things later because someone else was here to do it for her. Only when she was with Rosan, did she not feel like the Devil Child, did she not feel like a wanted criminal, did she not feel like a tool to be discarded the moment they lost their use.

No, with Rosan she felt like she were home and that was a feeling she had longed for, for years.

So Robin remained in his comforting grasp and allowed herself to fall asleep because Rosan was right. She was tired. She wasn't able to sleep comfortably without Rosan but he was right here, so she'd catch up on rest that she dearly needed and there was nothing he could say or do about it that would stop that.

"Sleep tight, Robin. We're not going anywhere," Mod assured through a happy sob, desperately trying to hold back tears that refused to stop pouring.

Robin fell asleep and for the first time in a long time, no nightmares plagued her.

The Straw Hats were well aware that Rosan and Luffy, despite being in the crew for the longest, were by far the most mysterious member in their group. They could even say that they were growing used to the redhead's secretive streak in particular because they were learning that's just how he had to be.

But this was pushing it!

What the fuck was going on?! What was... What even was happening? Rosan knew Miss All Sunday?

The woman was so cool and collected before but the moment she saw Rosan, she threw it all away in a display that honestly looked heartbreaking to their eyes.

What was most confusing, was the palpable emotion that their scout seemed to exhibit! Seeing the sheer negative emotion Rosan exhibited, was a far cry from the insanity or apathy he showed before and it made them flinch looking at the overwhelming guilt on his face.

What happened between these two? How did they know each other?...Why did Miss All Sunday think Rosan was dead?

Rosan wasn't surprised to see the sheer shock and confusion on his crewmates faces, barring Luffy.

After all, the right hand of the organization hunting them down was currently sleeping on him after crying her heart out on his chest. It would be more surprising if they didn't look confused.

They were watching the exchange with wild gazes, mouths parted in disbelief as they rapidly looked between Robin and Rosan.

"W-W-Wha...?" Usopp stuttered. What was going on? Rosan knew the second in command of Baroque Works? But how…? Was he also apart of the organization?! Was he a mole this entire time and he had snuck into their ranks before even meeting them?! H-He was so scary...

He idly adjusted Robin so that he could carry her bridal position to keep her comfortable and regarded his captain with a cool gaze.

"Luffy... I'll be going for a bit," he told the rubber boy, expression shifting back into a neutral expression.

"Kay!" He beamed, pleased to see the two reunited.

"Wait just a minute!"

Rosan paused and regarded Vivi with a tilted head. The princess was glaring furiously at the sleeping Robin and his eyes narrowed slightly. She was unaware that they began glowing in clear warning.

"We should tie her up and interrogate her when she wakes up," Vivi declared.

This was the right hand of Crocodile! If anyone was privy to his plans, it would be her. Right now was a perfect opportunity to get answers instead of going in blind.

"No," Rosan said simply, much to the shock of the princess.

The Straw Hats were not surprised at his response, wondering why Vivi would actually go out of her way to say something so stupid to him after just witnessing that exchange.

"Why not?! She's our enemy and she's vulnerable! You weren't here for me to tell you, but this is Miss All Sunday, the right hand of Mr. 0!" The princess of Alabasta demanded, stepping aggressively towards Rosan.

"She will never be my enemy and I don't care who she's the right hand of because right now she's with me," he replied softly, voice filled with a dangerous tint. "Don't suggest doing anything to my loved ones. You'll regret it."

Vivi flinched at his matter of fact statement but held her ground, glaring at the redhead now.

"She's contributed to years of pain in Alabasta… My country is dying because of her and Baroque Works and she just killed Igaram! You think I'm going to sit back and do nothing when we could stand to gain so much?!" Vivi snarled, taking another step forward.

"We?"

His glowing eyes, that she just noticed were glowing, froze her to the floor.

"Listen and listen well, princess. I. Am. Not. A. Hero," Rosan said lowly, deep voice reaching near baritone levels as he attempted to pierce a hole into her with his gaze alone.

Vivi began to shudder minutely at the combination of his blunt words rattling her bones and the cold demeanor he was currently taking. The princess of Alabasta instinctively took a step back from those predatory eyes gazing into her soul.

"It's not my job to save a country that means nothing to me and it's never going to be my job. It's a hero's job to care about everyone too weak to protect themselves. But I don't care about everyone and I don't want to care about everyone," Rosan stressed, eyes glowing brighter and brighter in warning.

The straw hats began getting nervous at the noticeable suns that were his eyes. They rarely saw him activate Modification so they didn't know that his eyes glowing red was a sign that he was using it but they could take a wild guess...

"I've known this woman since I was four years old and I've barely known the real you for an hour. After watching that exchange… Why would I ever let you do what you want to her? Are you stupid?" Rosan asked, pinning her in place with his gaze alone.

Did this dumb princess understand exactly who she was trying to antagonize? Did she not remember what he did to her former "allies"?

Well, he'd remind her if she kept acting like he should listen to her.

His logic was sound. She really was just a stranger to these two… There was no reason why they should ever listen to her request...

"But… I can't accept that!" Vivi growled.

...But she couldn't afford to be logical right now. Miss All Sunday was right here in front of them and besides Crocodile, no one knew more about Baroque Works then her. There were answers right here and she needed them to get any advantage possible if she wanted to save Alabasta and avenge Igaram.

Gathering her wits, the princess took another step forward with a purpose, resolve set in stone.

That was the wrong thing to do.

Quicker than she could react, a terrifyingly sharp tail darted out and snaked its way from behind Rosan. Vivi was lifted off the ground and the reptilian appendage began digging into her skin hard enough that one move would draw blood. She gasped and clawed at the hard spikes unsuccessfully, gasping on air that she was quickly losing.

The princess was forcefully brought closer to Rosan, who's eyes had turned into a menacing pair of slits.

Robin slept peacefully in his grasp, unaware of what was currently taking place. Despite how aggressive Rosan suddenly became, none of that translated to how he was holding Robin or treating her. In fact, it was all the more terrifying how polarizing his near lethal grip on her, contrasted his gentle hold on the woman.

It was then that Vivi realized that she had backed a wild animal into a corner and he was lashing out accordingly.

The redhead tutted, shaking his head at the child. "You aren't very bright, are you? Weak people who think they are strong die the fastest, idiot. This is not bravery on your behalf, it's suicide," Rosan warned, staring a hole into her.

He tilted his head and stared at her, smoking pouring out of his mouth warningly and brushing against her skin.

Vivi coughed harshly as some of it seeped into her nose and she couldn't hold back the tears from forming into her eyes at the terrible situation.

Rosan did not make it any better. In fact, it seemed like he was actively trying to make it worse.

"You said she killed Igaram? My condolences but if you keep pushing your boundaries, you're going to join him very soon."

The tears that sprung in her eyes, began falling at his heartless words. The girl would have let out an angry sob, but she found that she couldn't due to the fact that she was losing air.

The straw hats couldn't help but balk at how callous Rosan was currently being. They understood that Vivi wasn't being the smartest but striking that nerve so soon? Seriously?! She just lost someone she was close to!

"That's enough, Rosan! You're going too far!" Sanji was about to take a step forward, ready to instinctively protect the woman but a sword stopped him and he glared at Zoro in confusion.

"I'm doing you a favor, love cook," Zoro warned, making sure he didn't interfere with the redhead who was very clearly on edge. "If you keep getting in Rosan's way, especially with something like this, he's definitely going to attack you."

"So what, shitty Marimo?!" He spat out, preparing himself to go through the swordsman too. There was no way he was going to stand here and let this continue while he could stop it.

The green haired man's eyes narrowed challengingly. Was this stupid love cook really intending to protect someone they barely knew over their scout? Especially after she provoked him? What was going on in that skull of his?

If Rosan trusted this girl, Zoro didn't see any reason not to trust her. Their redheaded scout made it clear he didn't just put his trust in anyone so if he refused to let Vivi do anything to this Miss All Sunday, and Luffy didn't mind her, then there was no reason for them to go against him.

Nami put a hand on Rosan's shoulder and shot him a pleading gaze, making the redhead take his slit eyes off the struggling princess. "Rosan, could you please drop her? She just lost someone important to her so she's not thinking straight and… you're not making it any better..."

"I-I understand that you're on edge right now, but we don't have to acknowledge the words of such a weak child. There is nothing she can do to us s-so please bring Robin to a comfortable bed," Mod sniffed, desperately trying and failing to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"..."

They exchanged eye contact for a moment, before Rosan unceremoniously dropped the princess and banished his tail. The slits that were his eyes, disappeared and were replaced by his tiny pupils once more, bright glow vanishing to complete his customary dead look.

Vivi coughed harshly as she crumpled to the floor. The princess greedily sucked in buckets of air and she tentatively touched the bright red mark across her neck, hissing as it throbbed.

"Hmph," was all he said, taking his eyes off the princess who refused to look at him now.

"Can you tell us about the relationship you two have?" Nami prodded warily. It was clear that Miss All Sunday and Rosan had history and for him to go out of his way to nearly choking the life out of Vivi, meant that he cared about her. The best way to approach this was cautiously, so as to not invoke that overprotective feeling out of the redhead again.

Rosan figured he could at least explain why he was going out of his way to protect her. "Robin and I have known each other since I was four and she was eight. We traveled with each other for four years before we got separated when I was eight going onto nine," he informed them quietly.

Nami's eyes widened at the subtle hint that only she knew and nodded sympathetically, understanding why he lashed out now.

Back when they were traveling to Arlong Park, Rosan told her that he had been enslaved to someone using that exact phrasing so she was able to quickly connect the dots of the hint he was throwing her way.

The two had been separated. Forcefully. That explained why Rosan felt the need to kill everyone on that island.

"Sanji, Vivi, you two should drop it." Nami said in a way that sounded like a suggestion but really wasn't.

"Alright, Nami-san!" Sanji said, immediately dropping all his hostility and dashing over to make sure Vivi was alright.

"B-But!" Vivi pushed herself up, coughing all the while and holding her throat fearfully.

Her eyes whitened as she stared at Rosan and the princess instinctively took a shuddering step back at his empty gaze.

"Be glad that you're even still breathing, child. I was this close to ending your life," Rosan informed her coldly.

Nami sighed at the ruthlessness behind his words. "Rosan, could it kill you to be a bit more considerate? Try and understand her circumstances a little. She's just a kid trying hard to save her country!"

The navigator understood why he was being like this but that don't care attitude was really doing anyone any favors right now.

The redhead's face didn't even shift. "It's unbefitting of a princess to be that socially unaware. If she had an ounce of sense, she would never have even opened her mouth," he retorted calmly.

"Now, if that's all, I'd like to put Robin on a comfortable bed."

Before anyone could say a word, Rosan vanished with the sleeping Robin and they sighed in exasperation.

"It'll be okay!" Luffy beamed, unbothered by the events that just happened. "Those two are really good friends and they haven't seen each other in years!"

Nami nodded along with Luffy with a slight frown on her face. "Vivi, you shouldn't have been so aggressive after seeing the way those two acted… That was really dumb of you and Rosan reacted defensively as a result."

Listening and watching the redhead, Nami couldn't say she was surprised it went as south as it did. She didn't even think Rosan could feel guilty but it seemed to penetrate right through his lack of emotions...

She wondered how important Miss All Sunday was to him.

The young princess flinched and looked down in guilt. "She just killed Igaram… Am I supposed to forget that and pretend like she's suddenly an ally?" She whispered, heartbroken by the events that just happened.

The navigator pulled the girl into a soothing hug. "I know it's not fair to you but like Rosan said, he barely knows you or Igaram. You saw what he did to those agents... I think you should have waited for another day before trying to question them. Sometimes, you have to be a little courteous despite not wanting to. As a princess that's important, right?"

The blue haired girl flinched. "Yes... yes it is," she said quietly.

"Rosan's always been like this," Luffy sighed in disappointment, shaking his head at his stupid brother. "If it's not someone he likes, he treats their lives like nothing. I try to tell him not to do that but he just doesn't listen!"

Vivi nodded reluctantly, thinking back to the heartless redhead and shuddering at the cruelty he effortlessly displayed. When he had wrapped his tail around her neck, she distinctively remembered just what he had done to the Baroque Work agents and it made her green once more.

He was a living demon… but had she seen him somewhere before?

"Uh, guys?" Usopp said, looking utterly confused by all the events happening. "Can someone fill me in on what's going on? Is that an Ostrich? Is Rosan apart of that organization out to kill us? Is that a turtle with a hat sailing away from us?"

"A TURTLE?! WHERE?" Luffy screamed, zeroing in on the most interesting (to him) question.

Everyone sweatdropped at the idiot.

Robin groggily awoke to the pleasant smell of flowers and the color black.

Gathering her bearings let her realize that her head was currently resting on a muscular chest and a strong arm was wrapped around her, tucking her in comfortably to the figure. Upon further inspection, she realized that she had quite the grip on the figure.

It was very comfortable and warm and she wanted to fall right back asleep...

Alas, years of paranoia dictate she find out where she was.

Not really having the energy to move but also slightly confused, The Devil Child shifted her head a little to the left and was greeted to the sight of blood red hair splayed messily on a bronze man's head. The red spikes moved in time with her own slight movements and it made her aware that they were very close to each other.

This allowed her to see him open his heterochromatic eyes the moment she moved her head to gaze at him.

She hadn't slept this well in a while so it was taking her a bit to gather her bearings but she was fairly sure that this was... Rosan? This was the same person she saw before she slept so it was a relief to see that she wasn't dreaming.

"Did you sleep well, Robin?" Rosan asked softly, not trying to startle the slightly confused woman.

When he brought her here, he tried to release her from his grip so she could sleep without him but she let out a desperate whimper that immediately banished any thoughts of leaving her alone.

Robin registered the question and nodded slowly. "Yes I did… Rosan?" She replied hesitantly.

"It's me. Portgas D. Rosan, wielder of the Mod Mod no mi and the same one who met you when you were 8 after I attacked a pirate crew," he confirmed, letting his eyes glow momentarily to further prove it. "Are you hungry? I can make us some food, then we can talk about everything."

Robin's throat locked up so she simply nodded. Right now, she was doing her best to just hold back tears as the entire situation threatened to overwhelm her again.

She reluctantly released her ironclad grip and found herself already missing his comfort, when he stood up. The redhead ran a reassuring hand through her bedhead, idly modifying it into perfect condition, and didn't stop until she relaxed slightly.

He grabbed the back of his spiky hair and expertly tied it into a bun, leaving the front spikes free. The redhead made to move out of the room with assured steps.

"You don't need to move, I'll bring the food to you. You should go take a shower in the bathroom over there, we'll be entering the mindscape soon," he said, shooting her a back glance before walking out the room.

"...Okay." Robin watched him vanish before slowly glancing around the room she was residing in.

Where were they? Her memories were coming back and last she checked, they were on a ship.

They couldn't be in his mindscape either because he just said they'd be going there after eating...

The room was spacious, having black walls and expensive looking furniture. The bed itself was a mix of black and purple and she felt herself sinking into the luxurious and comfortable mattress.

It was an incredibly nice room… but she could think about that later. The Devil Child removed herself from the mattress and made her way over to the bathroom that resided in the room.

She inspected the bathroom momentarily, stabbing down her paranoia in the process, and grew relaxed at realizing that it was startlingly similar to the White Rose's own, giving further proof that this was really Rosan.

Removing her ruffled clothing, Robin set them aside and activated the shower feature of the advanced bath. As it got steamy (it was quicker then when they were younger), she grabbed any essentials and stepped in, sighing in slight bliss as the tension drained out of her body.

The woman went on auto pilot as she bathed, allowing her body to handle the process.

Right now, she needed to gather her thoughts. Robin gave herself enough time, it was now time to think about what was currently going on.

Rosan was alive. But not only that, Rosan was absolutely nothing like the boy she remembered.

He looked like an older version of him, but the things that made him Rosan were seemingly gone and it made her worried.

She knew that everyone changed with age, but Rosan's entire personality wouldn't simply vanish without a trace... It was a complete 180 from what she remembered.

Most notably, one of his eyes was the same shade of red as Mod's own and they lacked the bright glow that he seemed to always have outside of activating Modification.

Over the years together, Robin discovered that the brightness of the glow varied differently depending on what emotion Rosan was feeling. They shined brightest when he was happy, grew dimmer when he was upset and the glow practically vanished when he was truly furious, to the point his expression stilled.

She imagined it was worse then even that, considering there wasn't even the slightest glow there.

Robin hoped he was doing okay. If his circumstances were anything like hers, it would make sense for his entire demeanor to have changed.

She wondered what he was thinking right now while he…

While he…

Wait a minute...

Rosan was cooking?!

Instincts that she thought were long gone flared and the woman immediately shut the shower off. She hastily wrapped a towel around her frame, before dashing out of the room.

Why on Earth did he think it was a good idea to begin cooking immediately after meeting up with her again? Was he trying to get the both of them killed?! She needed to stop this immediately or wherever they were currently at, wouldn't exist anymore!

Somehow, she managed to immediately find the redhead, a warning on her lips to not touch any appliance that was even remotely kitchen related.

Those words died, as an actually delicious smell wafted through the air and brushed against her nose.

Rosan instantly glanced back at her, idly flipping a pancake with his left hand, while pouring a cup of Coffee with the right.

"You got out of bed? What's wrong? Was there something wrong with the shower?" he asked, placing the pancake onto a plate and right next to sunny side up eggs dabbled with pepper before fully facing her.

The redhead didn't even blink at her modesty being protected by only a towel.

"I was… I was going to warn you to not touch anything in the kitchen?" Robin muttered in confusion. Everything looked amazing and that was not something she would ever apply to Rosan's cooking.

Both Rosan and Mod-chan had not been allowed in a 6 feet radius of the kitchen while she was cooking. Rosan was a walking disaster and if he even so much as touched a tool, terrible things happened.

As for Mod... she genuinely just had no talent at all for cooking. It was tragic because Robin once watched her follow a step by step book on how to make pasta and the Devil Fruit ended up melting the pot through while burning the noodles!

After that, Robin reluctantly barred her from helping as well. It was very difficult because the woman chose to abuse her own puppy dog eyes and Robin was so close to going back on her word before Rosan himself stamped his feet in protest at being the only one barred when they were equally bad.

"I learned how to cook when I was 10, after nearly burning down the White Rose," Rosan informed her and she nodded.

That sounded exactly like him.

"I wanted you to get more rest but we can eat here," Rosan mused, perfectly balancing all the plates on his body and placing them down neatly.

"I would have made you sandwiches but I think a proper breakfast is better here. I made you sunny side up eggs steamed with pepper and some coffee to drink… despite how much I disprove you drinking it."

She blinked in shock at how perfectly he remembered what she preferred. "You remember?"

Rosan nodded. "Of course, I remember everything about you unless they've changed... You need some clothes. You can wear some of mine while I wash yours if you want."

"So responsible... is this Mod-chan?" Robin thought in surprise, nodded at his words and watching as he waved his hand to bring forth an outfit.

It was a predominantly black cloak lined with purple that covered her entire frame when she placed it on. Robin couldn't help but approve how comfortable it was.

"I'm not Mod-chan by the way... I saw that look in your eyes. I can be responsible you know," he said quietly.

The Devil Child rolled her eyes at that. "I'll believe it when I see it."

Rosan snorted in return. "Just eat your food."

The duo sat down at once to enjoy the food and Robin looked at the array with appraising eyes.

It looked delicious. The assortment of food was something she expected to see in a restaurant. There was something wrong here...

Robin tentatively took a bite into her food and said, "It's actually good…"

"Have some faith in me. I'm no gourmet chef but I've learned how to at least make it good," he retorted easily, calmly eating his own portion.

She couldn't hide her smile at his reply and the two continued to eat in peace, giving Robin more time to think about this whole situation.

"I have a question if you don't mind?" Rosan suddenly asked.

Robin, who had yet to take her eyes off of him, waved for him to continue.

"When did you enter the Grand Line?" The redhead asked. He took a bite into his own plate of food but his eyes never left her person.

"Around my 18th birthday," she replied after a moment. "I decided to wait until I was 18 because staying in the Blue Seas with my bounty would have been dangerous for me because of Reaper... I stayed low until then... were you looking for me?"

Rosan pursed his lips. "I was very sure you were in the Grand Line even earlier then that because I heard nothing about you... I wanted to look for you since I was 10 but I couldn't enter the Grand Line until I turned 18 and then things got complicated..."

Robin frowned at that. "I made myself scarce and difficult to find. It's not your fault for not knowing," she muttered softly.

How unlucky... Perhaps she should have stayed in the Blue Seas for a little longer but the threat of Reaper was too—

Hold on...

She had a lot of questions but one of them needed to be cleared up immediately.

"Rosan, are you Reaper?" Robin asked.

"Yes, I'm Reaper," he replied, nonplussed by her question. "How'd you know?"

So this entire time... Robin was avoiding Rosan. That was so... She could cry in frustration at that. If only she believed Rosan when he said he wouldn't die. She already had thoughts of how Reaper reminded her of Rosan but she didn't want to go back to the fantasy of thinking he was alive and risking getting killed by the Angel of Death wasn't worth it.

Of course he was the most infamous person in the Blue Seas… Robin couldn't even pretend to be surprised because it was just so… Rosan to do. There was news that Reaper was quite short too and if it was really the redhead, that meant he'd have been 9 when he first became relevant.

It lined up well. She was too lost in grief and denial to even entertain the idea.

"Your black and white outfit. It reminded me of the cloak you wore when we first met... I feel so stupid for not noticing."

Rosan frowned deeply at that. "None of what happened is your fault, Robin... I won't let you even think that," he said softly.

She couldn't help but narrow her eyes in worry. Rosan was rather emotionless but he was radiating a lot of self loathing right about now...

Robin banished that thought for now and instead asked, "What did you do to get a 500 million bounty?"

"Oh, I killed a Celestial Dragon."

Robin nodded at his reply. "Killing one would surely land you a bounty that high. It's much higher than my first one."

"It made me stop my bounty hunting duties but he deserved it for acting like that."

They resumed eating in silence, before Robin dropped her fork.

"You killed a Celestial Dragon?! A World Noble?" She asked in disbelief, unable to process it.

Rosan had always been insane, but this was too insane for even him! Did he realize what he had done? Did he do it out of ignorance? No, Mod would absolutely have told him about the rulers of the world so it was intentional...

Then again, Rosan never did care about class if you disrespected him. He especially hated the World Government so to meet the epitome of that corruption... it'd be more surprising if he didn't attack them.

"He attacked me first. When I realized who he was, I tried to question him but his answer was unsatisfactory and he ordered his men to have me detained so I could be enslaved. I won't allow myself to be enslaved again," Rosan explained with a neutral expression.

Robin listened to his explanation before latching onto one specific word.

"Again…?" She asked hesitantly, concern flooding her body so quickly, she recoiled.

Was that why his personality had shifted so drastically? Gone was the hyperactive boy, replaced by the stoic man. Was he... When they seperated did they enslave Rosan? How could anyone do something so inhumane...? Rosan was only 8 when they were ripped apart from each other and this was the reason why?

Rosan sighed and tugged idly at his bun. "Before I tell you everything, Mod-chan has been aching to meet you and she's quickly losing her patience. We should enter the mindscape."

Robin dearly missed the woman as well. After coming to terms with Rosan's death, she had placed one ear on the ground in search of her Devil Fruit, to make sure it didn't get into the hands of the Marines and to maybe (she doubted it but Mod could potentially just take someone over) find a worthy enough wielder.

Guess that was for naught.

Rosan placed the empty dishes in the sink and with a wave of his hand, they were cleaned up. Then, they made their way back to the room they had been sleeping in and sat on the bed.

Robin wasted no time in laying down with him and grabbed the man, who couldn't help but raise a brow in slight confusion.

"You still trust me?" He asked quietly. It had been so long yet she was still trusted him enough to not be bothered sleeping in the same area and to not be visibly angry with him.

"I'll decide after you explain yourself… but I want to see Mod-chan again," Robin replied. She was a torrent of emotions but one thing was clear...

Rosan had been alive this whole time and she just figured out after 16 years of thinking he was dead.

His explanation better be a good one. She understood that they both thought different things but there could have been something he could do that only she would know.

"No explanation will make up for what I did to you," He said quietly, glancing away from her as that familiar guilt welled up inside of him.

When was the last time he felt guilt? He couldn't recall but it flared every time he looked at the Robin who couldn't keep her eyes off of him, afraid that he might disappear at any moment. It reminded him of all his failures and though he always thought about them, there was hardly an emotion to follow along with it.

Robin frowned sadly at his reply. The only emotion she could feel coming off of him was guilt and nothing else. It seeped every inch of him everytime he looked at her and considering he nearly never took his eyes off her (she was the exact same), it was safe to say he was very guilty.

Age didn't do anything to change him of that self critical nature. Robin still remembered how often she needed to reassure Rosan that he wasn't a failure for leaving Ace but the stubborn redhead always took things too hard.

Rosan set high standards for himself, some that a child shouldn't have to set and he treated his failures accordingly...

"You just implied that you were enslaved Rosan and you think I won't be able to forgive you?" Robin asked in disbelief. "Let me be the judge of that. You're still far too self critical of yourself."

If she had any lingering doubts, that had certainly banished it. This was definitely her guilt ridden Rosan.

Rosan sighed and nodded before saying, "Right," and then he laid down next to her.

He reached out and Robin sighed at his warm touch.

She had missed this. Rosan radiated a lot of body heat and it made him a very comfortable cuddle buddy. Mod and Robin both used to abuse his perks religiously.

"Modification, Link: Robin – Rosan," Rosan muttered, hugging her closely and the two blacked out.

His mindscape looked a lot different then the tropical forest it had been and it was much colder too.

Robin shuddered at the freezing breeze and let out a sigh of relief at the large purple jacket that materialized over her entire frame, replacing the black coat.

She wasn't used to the cold.

"I'm guessing the temperature is hot where you're stationed?" Rosan questioned, referring to her revealing cowgirl outfit that she was wearing earlier.

"It's a desert," she replied bluntly.

"How fitting."

"What happened to your mindscape?"

"It changes based on my current state of mind."

"How fitting."

She followed after the taller redhead and inspected the frozen forest in the process.

The entire area was stunning but despite how beautiful it was, the forest was a tragic sight. It was artificial, the forest looked as if it were fabricated with ice, unmoving, lifeless.

It was a far cry from the natural beauty that was Rosan's tropical forest. Where everything looked alive. Where it felt as if it were full of its own life separate from the overwhelming vitality of Rosan himself.

Changes based on his state of mind… Just what happened to the lovable and naive child? Was Rosan just as bad off as she was...?

Her inner musings were cut short at the familiar pink house and the moment it showed up in their vision, the door burst open and a purple and black blur blurred over to them with a single-minded purpose.

Robin let out a surprised yelp at being tackled and lifted clean off the floor by the shorter person.

Mod sobbed freely, as she crushed Robin into her frame with the most motherly of hugs she could muster and the Devil Child couldn't keep her own tears in check at how tender the feeling was.

"R-Robinnnn! I missed you so, so much!" Mod cried, nuzzling the noticeably taller woman with gusto. "You've grown so much and you're so beautiful now and it's been so long! I've missed you so much and I refuse to let you out of my sight for even a second now!" The woman blubbered, entering full sap mode.

Robin hugged the woman back without hesitation, much more used to this sight because Mod-chan was the exact same beauty with an even sappier personality now. Time had done nothing to change her appearance and she still radiated that motherly aura that Robin relied on so much.

"Mod-chan…" Robin choked out, wrapping her slender arms around the woman and letting her own tears fall in happiness as they embraced tightly. "I've missed you so much too! I'm so glad you're still our same beautiful mother! It's really been so long but somethings never change and that's a relief for me..."

She really did miss the woman and felt so much relief that Mod had missed her in equal fervor.

The woman beamed at her with a rosy blush on her face, refusing to release Robin for even a second and merely embraced her even tighter.

"You're so tall now! And look at how gorgeous you are! I-It's really been too long and oh I'm about to start crying again," Mod sniffed, hiding her teary face in the crook of Robin's neck.

Robin smiled gently at the woman who took up the role of her mother. "You've become so much more human, Mod-chan. It makes you look even prettier, you know?"

Mod blushed bright red and began to splutter at that. "I'm just now seeing you again, please stop teasing me!" She whined.

The Devil Child let out tiny laughter at that. "I just wanted to see if it was still easy to make you flustered. All these years and you still can't handle compliments?"

The Devil Fruit grumbled at that, pouting adorably and not answering before brightening up again as she continued to hug Robin like her life depended on it.

"There's so much we have to catch up on and so much to do! Oh! Before she does something stupid it's best if we just introduce her now… RAM, GET OUT HERE!" Mod yelled in a tone that reminded Robin of a no nonsense mother that was dealing with a problem child.

A beautiful silver haired woman peaked out of the door, much to Robin's surprise and stepped out rather shyly, folding her arms behind her back and staring a hole into the ground as she kicked a foot back and forth.

Rosan raised a brow at the strange sight. Right now, Ram should be tackling him to the floor and doing all sorts of annoying things but she wasn't. Actually, what on Earth was she doing? This was the very last thing he ever expected his ring to do. No one even once got his weapon to act this... shy?

Was that what it was? Why was Ram shy around Robin?

As Rosan pondered this anomaly, Mod stepped up to do introductions.

"Robin, I'm not sure if you noticed but Rosan has on a silver and amethyst ring in the real world. That ring is actually a weapon made from the Philosopher's Stone and this girl, Ram is the result right here," Mod introduced, pointing at the demure silver haired woman who squeaked as she made eye contact with Robin.

Rosan's brow shot up even higher at that.

Squeaking? Did Ram just squeak off of eye contact?

Robin did notice the silver ring. She actually noticed just about every small detail about Rosan. She hadn't really taken her eyes off of him much at all and wasn't keen on moving very far from him either, so she drank in all the little details like his ruby red earrings, his silver ring, and the pendant under his expensive, long sleeved clothing.

"The Philosopher's Stone? It's not real though…" Robin mused, turning back to face Rosan. "You managed to create one?"

"You know about it?" Rosan asked.

Robin nodded. "I've read about it once a long time ago. I don't quite know the specifics but I do know that it's the height of alchemy and grants immortality."

Now that she thought about it, Modification was practically alchemy amped to 100. The Devil Fruit was ludicrous.

"I'm not surprised you do but that's still impressive…" The redhead mused. "I did create one though... I used, Modification, various stones and my own blood to do so and focused it into my ring to make Ram. I ended up making two by mistake and consumed the second one."

"You ate the Philosopher's Stone?! Does that mean you're immortal?" Robin asked in interest, brain wracking at hearing he had eaten the fairy tale stone.

It could not be put into words how incredible that accomplishment was. If news about this got out, the target on Rosan's back would grow to unprecedented levels that would precede the initial threat having the Mod Mod no mi gave him.

"I'm not immortal but I have gained an extremely enhanced regeneration. Also... I believe I'm aging a little slower and I'm very healthy. I might live naturally for a long time," he commented.

"Amazing..." she muttered. He did look younger then his actual age of 24. Robin wouldn't have said he was older then 20 currently but she just attributed that to his good genetics.

Maybe it was both...

"U-Um," Ram suddenly said, abruptly closing the distance between her and Robin.

Robin started a bit at the close proximity between her and the silver haired beauty but smiled politely at the woman gazing at her with a pensive expression.

"It's nice to meet you, Ram. I'm Nico Robin, Rosan's childhood friend," she greeted, holding out her hand for the woman to grab.

The ring's strange, but beautiful, eyes lit up and she seemed to gain more confidence at the politeness exuded by her.

"I-I'm Ram!" She returned, grabbing one of her hand with two of her own and shaking it eagerly.

Robin (and Rosan) shot her a somewhat strange look when the woman didn't let up and Ram seemed to decide on something right then and there.

"I-I'm happy to finally meet you! Are you my new mother?" The ring asked, tilting her head to the side curiously with wide glittering eyes.

"H-Huh, w-what?!" Mod choked on air at the unexpected question and began to cough repeatedly with wide eyes.

Rosan rubber her back with a raised brow, also caught off guard by Ram's sudden question. Was that why she was acting so strange? She wanted a mother? Right... she never got to meet Meiko so maybe that was a secret desire she had this entire time.

Robin's blue eyes went wide in confusion at the question the woman asked and she started a bit. "Pardon…Did you just ask if I'm your new… mother?"

Sure she was at the age where it wouldn't be odd for her to have a child... but she was definitely not at the age where it was normal to have a child who was an adult!

"Mhm! You're one of the first people Auntie Mod and Father loved and you're super smart and you know father super well and you're super pretty too!" Ram beamed, closing the distance even further and engulfing the taller woman.

Robin flinched at the contact but reminded herself that this was Rosan's mindscape and no one was here to hurt her.

"You have no idea how much you mean to him and you helped him with so much things. You two clearly love each other so now you're my new mother!" She gushed, leaving no room for argument at all.

"Ram…" Mod gawked at how forward the ring was, clutching her chest as she finally recovered from her near death experience, shooting Rosan a grateful look in the process. "You can't just decide that for someone else!"

The silver haired woman gained a puzzled expression at that, extracting herself from Robin's grasp to regard her Auntie.

"Huh? I thought you'd agree with me, Auntie?" Ram scratched her head in confusion. "Don't you love Mother?"

The Devil Fruit spluttered. "Of course I love her but that doesn't mean you can just give her any title you want! Also, don't just go calling her Mother!"

"...But why not? I call you Auntie and you don't have a problem with it!" She frowned, crossing her arms petulantly.

"I told you more then a dozen times to stop calling me that but you didn't! I just got tired of fighting a losing battle!" Mod retorted, glaring at the ring in disbelief.

Ram's frown of confusion deepened. "I don't get it! If she becomes my mother, people will have no choice but to stop putting their grubby hands on Father so you won't have to die in worry! It's a win-win for us all!"

Mod opened her mouth to continue arguing before closing it, a contemplative expression making its way on her face.

"That's not a bad idea…" she muttered, cupping her chin and furrowing her brows as she seriously thought about it.

"I knew you'd see things my way," Ram grinned toothily.

Watching the two idiots contemplate made Rosan sigh. "Please ignore them," he requested, sliding next to Robin again so as to distract her from the hopeless ones in his body.

"I'm guessing you're her father?" Robin asked in confusion. This was all very strange to her. It was amusing, but strange and the fact that the most normal person in the room besides her currently was Rosan, made it all the more strange.

"That would be correct, since my blood was essential in creating her, she's taken to calling me her father," the redhead explained.

"She acts and has the same complexion as you… but who does she look like?" Robin asked. Since she was created, it was likely she inherited features from both Rosan and someone else. Did he base her features on someone? She looked nothing like Rosan or Mod.

Whoever it was, was a very pretty person because Ram looked like royalty when her features were schooled.

Somehow, the room got colder at that question. Mod and Ram immediately stopped discussing at that question and their eyes went a little downcast.

"She... I didn't decide on her appearance. She looks like someone very dear to me named Meiko…," Rosan said softly.

"It's about time I finally tell you everything, Robin."

Robin straightened at those words and the lighthearted atmosphere vanished, replaced by something much more serious.

"Follow me. While we walk, you can ask me questions if you want. I'll answer everything truthfully."

The group of four began walking and it didn't take long for Robin to quickly come up with one.

"What happened when we got separated? I was searching for you everywhere but I saw no hint besides a burning clearing with… with a dead body inside of it," Robin trailed off, voice filled with a bit of pain just remembering it.

Of course she didn't give up on him. Robin just assumed that after so long, he was probably dead. He was so stupid for unfairly blaming her, especially after he was the one who told her to move on in case anything happened to him.

"I want to start off by saying, don't blame Mod-chan for anything. Everything is solely my fault and she tried to help me see reason but I was too upset," Rosan began softly.

"R-Rosan!" Mod shouted angrily, stepping in front of him so that he could see her glare. "Don't you dare go and say things that make it seem like you're irredeemable! You were helpless to stop that from happening and didn't know what to prepare for! I'm as much to blame as you are!"

"..." Rosan said nothing, continuing to walk through the frozen leaves. His footsteps were completely silent, almost seeming to glide across the floor as he stared ahead.

Mod frowned at that, shaking her head in guilt but continued to move as well.

Don't blame Mod-chan...? Just what happened exactly that he felt that he was solely to blame, she shouldn't forgive him and he was irredeemable?

"You mentioned being enslaved again… What happened?" Robin asked in dread.

She knew how self critical Rosan was, so she'd judge with her own opinion and not his.

"...It was a trap," Rosan began.

"A trap...?" Robin repeated. She figured as much, since Rosan seemed to be their only target but why?

The redhead nodded. "When I went to the agreed meetup spot, there were people waiting in hiding for me specifically. I was ambushed and they used a gas that made me sluggish. I tried to fight them off but I made the decision to use Modification too late and they knocked me unconscious when I made a misstep…"

They ganged up on little 8 year old Rosan after doing something so underhanded...? If she were there, this would have never been allowed to happen. How dare they?

Rosan's face never shifted as he laid out the details for her. "After I woke up, I was strapped to a table and there was a... doctor across from me named Doc."

Robin shivered at the look of pure, utter hate on Mod's face but she was far too invested to speak up on it at the moment.

"He was the one who sent out the ambushers to capture me. That man wanted me for my power but I refused to submit to his will… He didn't appreciate that and shocked me until Mod-chan told me to tell him my name. Then... Doc tortured me for 6 months, every single day."

Her heart dropped at the revelation and horror swelled up in her body at the thought of her little Rosan being tortured for that long. Imagining the cruelty made her recoil and she could already feel the deep sadness settling in at something she could have prevented.

To be tortured for so long at only 8 and 9... what type of monster would do something like that?

Finally, Rosan's neutral expression cracked and he let out a weary sigh. "The reason I told you not to blame Mod-chan is because… The knowledge that you weren't coming to save me... it broke me and turned me into a monster. I was full of rage and hatred... I lashed out and picked you as my target because in my eyes, you abandoned me," he said truthfully, refusing to omit any detail at all.

Robin couldn't hide the hurt on her face at that statement and Rosan forced himself to look at her because he was the one who caused it.

"You… you hated me?" She asked quietly. That little detail hurt more than anything she'd ever been dealt. To know that the one person who you cherished above all, hated you was a blow she didn't know how to deal with and she abruptly stopped, refusing to make eye contact with Rosan.

"It took me years to come to terms with your death, Rosan," she answered quietly. "I tried everything I could to find you, all while trying to find my own source of travel, escaping the Marines who suddenly converged on my location and ignoring the fact that I saw a dead body that was your size..." Robin whispered.

Rosan couldn't help but wither a bit at the reality of the situation. The odds were fully stacked against her but she still tried.

"16 years, Rosan," Robin answered. "I thought you were dead for 16 years and you... you hated me? How do you think that makes me feel?" Robin didn't even realize tears were falling from her eyes as she gazed into the guilty eyes of Rosan, her supposed best friend.

The woman roughly grabbed the red strand of hair that was her memento and presented it to him. "All this time, I never even once stopped thinking of you, Rosan. You know what this red strand means right? This was my memento to you. This was my way of trying to live for the both of us because I thought you were dead."

She was crying. Robin, one of the calmest people on the planet, was crying because of him.

Rosan gazed at the red strand of her hair like it were actively stabbing him. Guilt was crushing him in waves but he did nothing to defend himself because she was right.

She let out a watery laugh of disbelief. "I loved you more then anything on the planet and you hated me... I feel so stupid," she finished, wiping her eyes.

Maybe this should have been a dream. At least she was used to that pain.

Ram was stunned silent, gazing at Rosan and pleading for him to at least explain himself, paling when she realized he had no intention to.

Mod watched in disbelief and horror, as Rosan absolutely refused to defend himself despite everything he knew.

Why? He knew why he lashed out on her? He knew that the situation was abnormal. He knew so why? Why was he letting Robin push herself away?!

She'd be damned if they lost her after just getting her back. Especially when little 9 year old Rosan was at no fault!

The teary eyed Devil Fruit grabbed Robin by her shoulders and stared directly into her blue eyes, red orbs morphing into a pleading expression. "Robin, please listen to me. Rosan would never hate you if it were up to him alone."

Robin felt herself slightly calming at the woman's voice. "What do you mean?" She asked quietly, not trusting her own voice.

Was it not Rosan's choice to hate her? What did that mean...? Despite her earlier anger, there was still a hope in her chest that this was true.

"The circumstances weren't normal at all!" Mod explained desperately. "Not only was Rosan being tortured every single day, h-he didn't have me to alleviate the mental torture either. I was being restrained by Sea Stone and... and then the Virus got their hands on him. Please believe me when I say, he would not even consider hating you."

Robin couldn't explain the swell of relief that flooded her body at that and she fully wiped the tears off her face, chancing a glance at the silent Rosan.

Ever since he was a child, Rosan's mental stability had been wavering. It was only natural considering he witnessed his mother's death.

Robin and Mod were his two pillars and to hear that he had neither made her understand far more why he reacted the way it did and that made her feel so relieved.

But still...

"Virus?" She asked softly.

"The virus is the alter ego of Mod-chan. They are a destructive force who have been the cause of all of her previous wielders death. They are the reason I zeroed in on you due to their penchant of tampering with a person's mind and emotions. They sneak in their own thoughts to my own and make them prevalent as time passes... it knew how much I loved you so it used you to break me," Rosan explained quietly.

The Devil Child's eyes went wide and she glanced over at Mod-chan who could only look down with a guilty expression on her face.

She felt her anger taper off fully at that. "Why didn't you start off with that, Rosan? I just... I just lashed out on you without knowing the full details because you didn't tell me," she frowned at the redhead.

"..." Rosan glanced at the floor. "To me, it doesn't matter if the Virus forcefully included you into my destructive thought processes. What mattered is that I fell for it. I should have never even entertained the fact that you abandoned me but I couldn't think logically for one second."

Mod frowned heavily at that. "But Rosan you didn't know! Can't you understand that no normal person could hope to withstand the situation you were put in? You were being tortured not only on the surface, but on the inside too and it's all my fault for not telling you about the Virus. How could you have hoped to perceive a threat you didn't even know exist!"

Robin paused at that. Mod... she never told Rosan about the virus? His personality was being manipulated this entire time without his knowledge?

That wasn't... that wasn't good at all. Rosan wouldn't take that lying down either, especially considering the person he should trust most in the world, held important information from him.

"I'm not normal, Mod-chan," Rosan replied stubbornly. "I shouldn't have relied on you all so much. If I worked on my mental stability or at least took a deeper look, I could have better prepared."

"Hindsight is 20/20, Rosan!" Mod protested. "It's impossible to expect a child to be perfect. There's so many things you were already doing and I... I messed up the one thing you shouldn't have had to ever worry about..." she tapered off.

Robin watched the Devil Fruit shrink into herself with a concerned glance.

"She's right, Rosan... Now that I know everything... you can't possibly think you deserve to be fully blamed," she intervened, making Mod perk up in hope.

He... he really did hold himself up to too high of a standard. Robin should have known he was being self critical again when she got upset. Even despite being tortured both physically and mentally for 6 months, he still blamed himself for turning on her. In his eyes it was unacceptable for anything to get in the way of their bond.

Even now after all these years, he still refused to forgive himself. It felt gratifying to know that he loved her as much as she loved him and that got rid of all her resentment.

Rosan went silent immediately, refusing to meet her gaze as he trudged forward.

Robin sighed. She was beginning to feel bad for reducing him to this. It especially didn't feel good now that she was aware how little hand he had to play in his supposed hate for her.

She should assure him that she wasn't angry with him anymor—

"We're here."

The Devil Child paused in her deliberation at that and she glanced up, eyes taking on a curious glint as she beheld the sight before her.

It was large, entire structure made from ice that looked even colder and more unnatural then the forest they were currently resided in. It was just as beautiful and tragic as everything else but chains wrapped ominously around the object.

"A castle…?" Robin pondered. What was it doing here? Why did they still live in the house if there was a castle right here? Why were those chains wrapped so tightly around it…?

Rosan nodded in confirmation. "This castle right here… it houses all my emotions along with the virus itself. That's why I act like this. I currently don't have any active emotion and they only flare occasionally but for the most part, they lie dormant."


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