บท 47: An Absurdly Serious Challenge
"Ah, how relaxing..." I couldn't help but murmur as I lay back on the wooden bench in the public bath, enjoying the steam and heat that filled the room. The hot water ran over my body, soothing my tense muscles after a long day. It could have been even more pleasant if it weren't for the conversation floating in the air, breaking the tranquility. The voices echoed off the tiles, accompanied by the sound of water and showers cascading down.
"Alright, who's the leader now?!" Sudo, with his usual energetic tone, threw the question at Ayanokouji, who wasn't far from me. It seemed Ayanokouji had intentions of leaving, but clearly, they wouldn't let him escape that easily.
"I don't know..." he replied, dodging the question with his typical indifferent air.
What leader were they talking about? Well, here's the context: right now, a good number of first-year students from all classes were gathered in this bath. But what surprised me wasn't the number of students but rather the topic of conversation that had emerged: the size of their privates. Yes, you heard that right. I didn't find much sense in that discussion, but as I watched the others, it was clear that this peculiar debate was stirring insecurities and egos alike. It seemed that, somehow, these guys felt the need to compare themselves to each other to measure their worth or prove their manhood, though, honestly, I still didn't fully grasp the logic behind it.
"The leader is Kaneda!" Ike, a student from Class C, shouted from the other end of the bath.
"Huh?! Seriously? That can't be!" Sudo exclaimed, completely surprised. I couldn't blame him; considering Kaneda's appearance, it was hard to imagine him standing out in anything that wasn't strictly academic. And besides... why the hell was he still wearing glasses in a bath? So weird...
As the jokes continued, one by one, the guys started comparing themselves, choosing the "leader" based on their... dimensions. The spectators grew more and more excited, cheering and commenting as if it were a serious competition. Even Katsuragi, known for his reserved and formal nature, ended up joining the group. Although he clearly did so due to peer pressure, it was curious to see how these guys, who normally competed in the classroom, were now uniting in this strange but seemingly important "test of manhood." It was as if, for a moment, they set aside their animosity and rivalries to forge collective empathy.
Humans really are strange.
"No way... No one beats him!" Sudo dropped to his knees, defeated, with a mix of disbelief and awe on his face. Apparently, he had been bested by Albert, the silent and hulking guy from Class D, famous for being Ryuuen's right-hand man. Albert, with his imposing physique and foreign origin—perhaps African—was a contender many considered difficult to surpass. In the past, Shibata had hinted that men from those regions were, let's say, "well endowed," and now that assumption seemed to be confirmed.
The bath echoed with murmurs and laughter as the other boys accepted Albert as the new undisputed leader... until someone unexpected appeared.
"Well, well... Seems like there's a very interesting competition here, right?" Koenji's voice, always full of self-confidence and extravagance, resonated throughout the bath. He walked in with the pose of a Roman emperor, his golden mane perfectly groomed and a smile radiating superiority. The atmosphere changed immediately. Everyone knew that when Koenji was around, things became... unpredictable.
"What do you say, Koenji? Want to join too?" Ike asked, half-joking but with real curiosity.
Koenji laughed, his laughter echoing in the steam of the bath like the rumble of thunder. "My dear friend, there's no need for me to join this competition, because you already know..." He paused dramatically, posing as if he were the center of attention. "...the throne is already mine by right."
Everyone in the bath fell silent for a moment before laughter filled the air again. But while the others laughed, Koenji simply smiled, satisfied, as if in his mind he had already won without even needing to prove it.
This strange event was reaching its climax, and I couldn't help but watch with a mixture of amusement and bewilderment. It was fascinating to see how these boys, who in daily life were constantly competing, could unite in such a trivial game, momentarily setting aside the tensions of exams and class rivalry.
"Are you going to join, Koenji?" Sudo asked incredulously, frowning. Everyone knew Koenji rarely participated in any type of competition, let alone cooperated with others. He was a free spirit, someone who preferred to do things his own way for reasons only he understood.
Koenji flashed a confident smile, the kind that always bordered between arrogance and complete nonchalance. "Normally, my policy is not to show my splendor to other men," he began, his tone overflowing with conceit, "but today, I will make an exception. I'll let all of you be living witnesses... and you'd better remember this moment, because you'll only see it once in your lives."
With a slow, deliberate movement, Koenji removed the towel from his waist. The atmosphere in the bath changed instantly. The murmurs stopped, and the steam in the air seemed to grow thicker. Everyone's attention was now on him, their gazes fixed as if they were about to witness something transcendent.
The silence that followed was overwhelming. Many eyes widened in shock, while others simply gaped, unable to process what they were seeing. Even Albert, who had maintained his unflappable façade until that moment, couldn't help but react. Wearing his signature sunglasses, he uttered something unexpected for someone like him.
"Oh... my God," Albert murmured with his deep voice, visibly surprised.
The reaction was immediate and almost comical. Some students covered their mouths, while others instinctively stepped back as if they had just witnessed something that defied the laws of nature.
"Dude... Are you even human?" Sudo, utterly defeated, fell to his knees in front of Koenji, staring at his imposing figure with a mixture of respect and despair. The difference between them was abysmal, not just in physical terms, but in attitude as well.
Koenji, clearly enjoying his moment, let out an elegant laugh, crossing his arms in front of his chest as if he had just won an epic battle. "Fufufu... I suppose, as you all already know, this is my absolute victory."
But just when it seemed the competition was over, a deep voice broke the silence.
"Wait, Koenji. This isn't over yet."
Everyone turned to the corner of the bath, where Ryuuen, with his casual posture and twisted smile, was watching the scene. His mere presence was enough to change the atmosphere; the tension in the air instantly increased. Even those who were already impressed with Koenji couldn't help but fix their attention on Ryuuen. After all, he was known for never backing down from a challenge.
"What? Don't tell me you, Ryuuen, can compete against... that?" Sudo asked, clearly incredulous at the idea.
Ryuuen let out a short, mocking laugh. "Compete? No, idiot. I know my limits," he replied with his usual arrogance. "That doesn't interest me."
"Then why say this isn't over?" The confusion in Sudo's voice was evident. If Ryuuen wasn't going to compete, what did he mean?
Ryuuen glanced around the bath, his dark, piercing eyes scanning everyone present before stopping on two particular people. "It's simple," he said, a malicious smile forming on his lips. "There are still two people who haven't shown theirs."
The gazes in the bath followed the direction of his stare until they landed on Ayanokouji and me. I felt the atmosphere shift once more, and this time, all eyes were on us.
"It's true... You two still have your towels on!" Ike exclaimed, pointing at us in surprise, as if he had just realized it.
Ayanokouji, as always, maintained his neutral expression, unfazed by the growing pressure around us. Meanwhile, I found myself in an uncomfortable situation. It wasn't that I particularly cared about this absurd contest, but with all the expectant stares and barely contained laughter, it was hard to ignore the attention.
The silence grew even heavier, and everyone waited for the next move. Ayanokouji crossed his arms, showing no interest in what was happening, but I knew he too was being put in the spotlight, just like me.
Ryuuen smiled in amusement, clearly enjoying the rising tension. "What's the matter? Are you scared?" he asked, challenging us openly.
It was evident that no one expected us to participate. But here we were, facing the pressure of a contest we never asked to be in. And in the midst of this absurd competition, I couldn't help but think that, in some way, this perfectly reflected life at the school. There was always competition, always pressure, and always someone trying to prove their superiority.
Koenji, with his absolute confidence, merely chuckled softly, enjoying the spectacle. He didn't need to do anything more. For him, victory was already assured.
The steam continued to fill the room, but now, the heat wasn't just coming from the showers.
"Come on, Osawa, you have to do it for Class A, for our pride," insisted Shibata, now more serious than I had seen him during exams. I wondered if this really was as important to men as it seemed.
"I think I'll be going now," Ayanokouji said, calmly getting up from the bench, visibly uninterested in the absurd situation. But before he could take a step, Sudo grabbed him by the shoulders, preventing his escape.
"Don't even think about it. You won't get away that easily," he said with a mocking smile, enjoying the growing tension in the air.
The voices in the bathhouse intensified. The laughter and murmurs began to transform into a chorus that, like a roar, took over the place.
"Take off the towels!" someone shouted, igniting a spark that spread among the crowd. And before I knew it, the entire group was chanting in unison:
"Take-it-off! Take-it-off!"
The echo of their voices bounced off the bathroom walls, amplifying the pressure. I glanced at Ayanokouji, who remained as impassive as ever. I shot him a look that said it all: we have no other choice.
I could ignore all this, just leave and let the others put on their show. But, to be honest, I wasn't particularly worried. After all, I had some confidence in myself.
"Alright... I'll do it," Ayanokouji finally said, giving in to the group's pressure. His voice, however, was so monotone that it seemed like he was agreeing to do something trivial, not the spectacle everyone was waiting for.
Sighs of relief and nervous laughter rippled through the place. I shrugged. "I guess there's no way out," I added, as I started to unroll the towel around my waist. I wanted to enjoy the bath in peace, and if this was what it took to be left alone, so be it.
Then, Yamauchi, who had been on the sidelines until now, stood up with a mischievous smile on his lips. "Alright, alright... I'll be the judge of this... competition," he said, with a gleam in his eyes that only made everything seem more ridiculous.
Koenji, who had so far held the title of undisputed leader, let out a haughty laugh. "Fufufu... do you really think you can compete with me, Osawa?" he said, looking at me with his usual confidence.
"I'm usually not interested in these kinds of things," I responded, keeping calm, "but if this is what the class needs... I guess there's no problem."
The guys watched expectantly. The atmosphere felt more charged than ever, as Ayanokouji, Koenji, and I stood at the center of attention.
One by one, we took off our towels. The murmurs turned into whispers, and the whispers into an expectant silence. Koenji, always the extravagant one, was the first to display his 'pride.'
Finally, it was my turn. I calmly discarded the towel, and for a moment, silence reigned in the bathhouse. Yamauchi approached, carefully measuring and comparing between Koenji, Ayanokouji, and me. The rest of the guys watched in silence, holding their breath. Sudo even leaned forward, his eyes wide open.
"This... is incredible," Yamauchi murmured, crouching down to make sure he didn't make any mistakes in his verdict. After a few tense moments, he stood up with an expression of astonishment. "By just a few millimeters... the winner is... Osawa!"
The bathhouse erupted in shouts and cheers. Chaos took over the room as the Class A boys celebrated, raising their fists in the air. Shibata patted me on the back, clearly excited. "I knew we could count on you, Osawa!"
Koenji, however, didn't seem bothered. "Fufufu... well, it seems you won today. But don't get too confident," he said in his characteristic arrogant tone, as he wrapped the towel back around his waist. "Once is enough."
Ayanokouji, for his part, simply sat back down, seemingly indifferent to everything that had just happened. I also settled back down, ready to enjoy the bath.
In the end, it seemed the matter was over, and although I didn't care at all about winning this absurd competition, at least I could relax in peace knowing that the whole spectacle had ended. But beyond the jokes and cheers, one thing was clear: by a few millimeters, I had emerged victorious. And in this peculiar world where even the most ridiculous things could carry unexpected weight, I had been crowned the alpha of the bathhouse.
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