บท 74: A Gooner's Dilemma

Right at this very moment in time, Sakura was extremely horny, for lack of a better term.

That's not to say that Sakura wouldn't have been horny at this time, had the circumstances been somehow different— no, Sakura existed in a state of constant sexual frustration. It was a condition that had been born from the original Sakura's innate perviness, and the perviness that she had inherited from her past life as Okazumi Tsutomu; professional teenage boy and gooner extraordinaire.

But this? She had never felt something like this before— it was simply unbearable.

"What's wrong, original?" Sakura Shadow Clone No.7 asked her. "You've stopped doing your squats."

It was Sakura's tenth day of training; she'd been in the middle of doing squats on the ceiling of her bedroom, when she had just suddenly stopped, for no apparent reason. Which meant that Sakura was now just standing there, upside-down, feeling the blood rushing down from her nether regions to her head.

Nope, even that wasn't helping with her condition…

"None of your business, Number 7," Sakura grumbled. "I was just resting my knees."

Sakura was all hot and bothered, but she just knew that if she tried to relieve the tension in her current state, she'd lose control. Next thing she'd know, she'd be waking up the following morning in a puddle of her own juices, which really wouldn't be the most productive use of her very limited time.

"We're almost out of chakra," Sakura Shadow Clone No.2 announced. "Our lifespans have only kept shortening over the past few days. Something's wrong."

"I know," Sakura responded irritably. "I'm almost done kneading the chakra for the next Shadow Clones, Number 2."

"I feel like I really got the short end of the stick with the names," Sakura Shadow Clone No.2 complained. "I mean, like, seriously? Number 2? Can't I be Sakura Shadow Clone B, so it doesn't feel like you're calling me poo all the time?"

"SHUT UP!"

Sakura let out a scream of frustration that shook the entire house, and all thirteen of her Shadow Clones simultaneously dissipated into puffs of smoke. Sakura punched her bedroom wall, before collapsing into a squirming heap of curves on the floor.

"Sakura?" came her mother's voice from the other side of the door. "Are you okay, dear?"

"Leave me alone, mum," Sakura groaned.

"She sounds stressed," she heard her father suggest. "It's the pressure from her exams; maybe we should go in and cheer her up."

That was Sakura's signal to leave.

After months of getting to know her new parents, she had quickly learned that they really weren't the type to respect boundaries, or to even knock at the door… and also that their apartment's walls were remarkably thin.

And so, Sakura picked herself up from the floor and threw open her bedroom window, before leaping outside— maybe some fresh air would help clear her foggy mind.

…

Ten minutes later, Sakura was sitting on the swing in front of the ninja academy— you know the one, the swing set from Naruto's lonely flashbacks, the one that appears more often in the anime than Tenten.

'Using Shadow Clones to train is all well and good,' said Inner Sakura, ever the voice of reason, 'but we can't forget that it comes at a cost. Each time we receive their experience, we also receive their mental fatigue— which also apparently includes their horniness.'

"I haven't unlocked even half of my Tenketsu yet," Sakura mumbled out loud. "And I'm already at the end of my rope."

Thirteen Shadow Clones meant thirteen times the normal mental fatigue, boredom and sexual frustration that she'd normally incur within a given period of time. Thirteen times the tedious sessions of the Shadow Clones sticking one leaf to one of their Tenketsu, watching the original letting out sexy little cries of effort as she worked out, the sweat making everything peek through her clothes…

"Argh! Stop!" Sakura cried out. "My brain's doing stuff on its own again!"

"Don't look at the crazy lady, Tokei."

Sakura glanced towards the source of the voice; it belonged to a concerned mother, who was covering her young child's eyes with one hand and ushering him away with the other. It was difficult, juggling ideas with Inner Sakura without looking like a completely insane person who talked to herself…

Nope, Sakura hadn't gone off the deep end just yet.

'I think I know why the Shadow Clones aren't lasting as long as they used to,' said Inner Sakura thoughtfully. 'We're on our period, so we're technically constantly debuffed with a damage-over-time effect, which has to be having an impact on their lifespans…'

"I guess that also explains a lot of other things," said Sakura out loud, sighing to herself.

'Hey, I think that lady from before is coming back— and she's brought somebody back with her,' Inner Sakura pointed out. 'Leaf Police Force, from the looks of it— and now she's pointing at us… Oh shit, we'd better make ourselves scarce…'

…

Yet another ten minutes later, Sakura found herself at the village's southernmost entrance gates, after safely escaping from the police.

"I wonder how Naruto and Sasuke are doing," Sakura muttered out loud. "Their training's probably going well, unlike mine… How does Naruto not go crazy, with the number of Shadow Clones he regularly uses?"

Watching a certain inseparable duo guarding the southernmost entrance gates, Sakura was suddenly overcome with a strange feeling, like she was on the verge of remembering something important. For some reason, her mind kept going back to Team Asuma's faces when she looked at the pair of gate guardians, but why was any of that relevant…?

Kamizuki Izumo and Hagane Kotetsu, who were best friends for life, were in charge of guarding this particular gate today. The last time Sakura had come through here, they had arrested her, believing her to be a spy due to her mismatching chakra signature. As a result, Sakura had nearly missed the first exam…

'Shikamaru… Izumo… Kotetsu,' said Inner Sakura thoughtfully. 'Weren't they all present at the moment of Asuma's death? They'd been fighting against the Akatsuki— Kakuzu and Hidan…'

Sakura tried replaying the fight in her head, but found that she couldn't remember much of it outside of Shikamaru's Shadow Stitching Jutsu and Asuma's many skill issues.

'Kotetsu uses a strange weapon,' said Inner Sakura helpfully, 'against targets immobilized by…'

That was it! That's what she'd been trying to remember! So that's why she'd subconsciously wandered this way; Sakura hadn't only been researching countermeasures against Rock Lee, she'd also been searching for ways to overcome her next opponent, Gaara!

Now, in Sakura's opinion, the best way to get rid of Gaara's sand was Fire Style, to turn his sand into glass. But obviously, her flames wouldn't burn hot enough to melt silicon dioxide; she'd either need much more chakra than she currently had, Scorch Style, or Amaterasu's Blaze Style, in order to accomplish such a feat.

So, Sakura's next idea had been to use Water Style to make Gaara's sand heavier and more difficult to manipulate. Unfortunately, she had been forced to give up on this idea, since the results wouldn't have been worth the time investment to learn Water Style with only 99% water affinity.

Ordinary shinobi with around 100% affinity in one nature would need months, maybe even years, to learn one particular chakra nature transformation, so it stood to reason that it'd take roughly that long for her as well…

However, if she were to use a special kind of Water Style to defeat Gaara's sand, such as the Sticky Starch Syrup series of Ninjutsu, then learning Water Style would definitely be worth the time investment. If she paired this kind of Water Style with Fire Style, she'd be able to turn all of Gaara's sand into quick-acting cement, disabling his one and only weapon!

If Sakura gave up on unlocking her lower body's Tenketsu, then she just might be able to learn water chakra nature transformation with the time she had left…

'What to do?' said Inner Sakura indecisively. 'Should we focus all of our effort on defeating our first opponent, or should we risk splitting our training time towards countering both Lee and Gaara?'

"Guarantee a win against Lee?" Sakura murmured. "Or risk losing our first match to have a shot at defeating Gaara? There's just not enough time…"