บท 167: Minor problems
***Same evening. Batcave***
The superhero left the transportation parked on a special platform, and immediately from behind a nearby stand, filled with various gadgets for all occasions, the figure of a butler silently appeared, carrying a tray with a cup of strong coffee.
"How do you do that? - Gotham's protector said thoughtfully, gratefully accepting the invigorating drink. He was going to have another sleepless night, so a little dope was in order.
"Doing what, Master Bruce? - The older Briton said nonchalantly, arching his right eyebrow amusedly.
"This," the billionaire removed his mask and made a vague gesture with his hand. He didn't announce his arrival on purpose, but Alfred Pennyworth was still incredibly precise in timing his theatrical emergence from the shadows. And he does it all without the use of life energy, only years of experience and a competent choice of position.
"I don't know what you mean."
"You understand everything," Bruce smiled slightly and headed for the supercomputer.
It was their little game that started back when Wayne Jr. was just trying on the superhero role. The elderly man who replaced the family was always supportive of Gotham's protector, and this approach was also an act of support, as the mysterious butler was a perfect fit for the mysterious superhero standing guard over the city.
After going through the necessary procedures to get the system up and running, including a retinal scan, the manor owner plugged in his wristband and created a folder labeled "Justice League". A heavy sigh broke the silence of the vast cavern as a set of files appeared on the screen, some of which were photographs of a single green-haired individual, and a canvas of text describing demonstrated and presumed abilities.
"How was the meeting with the first persons of the state? - Alfred asked politely. - You look upset about something.
"Or you wouldn't know... Don't tell me you didn't watch the live broadcast."
"Is this about the Joker?"
"Yes... It's about the Joker," Batman confirmed doomedly. - First he appeared from the portal and gave a pathetic speech about the unification of mankind, and then he fought off the honor of becoming the head of the Justice League. By the way, he came up with the name too.
"That's it? I even found it funny when people decided that a former supercriminal would be the one to represent an organization standing up for humanity."
"Mh..." a faint smile appeared on the willful face. - Yes, it was really funny. And you should have seen the horror in his eyes as he realized the situation.
"It's unlikely that a slight deviation from the plan and the choice of, I should note, a pretty good name for the world's first official superhero association was the cause of your depressed mood."
"It's about editing the contract. Jay shook the hell out of those present and made a lot of edits before he was able to sign."
"Wait a minute, Master Bruce," the older man said. - I thought you yourself were not too happy with Washington's demands. I've already read the new text, and it differs markedly from your draft, and for the better. At the very least, the new treaty allows the League to remain an independent organization, not just another appendage of a huge bureaucratic machine.
"That's it! That's the point! - Batman even banged his fist on the holographic panel, opening several programs and folders at once.
The butler looked at the overly emotional master with bewilderment, but the latter didn't even pay attention to it, continuing to share his pain.
"I spent several days preparing an adequate draft that would satisfy everyone. You think, knowing the level of corruption of officials, I want to account for every step? But no, there are too stubborn people in the government. They were ready to go superhero hunting. Hmm, well, I exaggerated a little about the last one," Bruce corrected himself, meeting the skeptical gaze of his interlocutor, who was well aware of the absurdity of such a move. - But we would have had more problems. Now imagine my surprise when Jay came in and, in three hours, convinced everyone that the League needed complete freedom.
"Terrific public speaking skills."
"Uh, and he also threatened to destroy the planet. Even Waller eventually agreed that the U.S. would only strengthen its position by showing an open mind. Only Superman was against such a move."
"What about you?"
"I had to resist for the sake of appearances. We couldn't show team unity. The government had to have confidence that we could actually throw one of us in jail if he got out of line."
"Here's how... I guess you put Mr. Arkham in charge of public relations for a reason."
"We could offer him the position of a full-time psychologist as a bonus. Just kidding," the billionaire smiled at the stunned butler and then continued, "but he was able to help Cyborg.
Bruce was about to try on the role of a psychologist himself, but the Joker was the first to do so in an incredibly graceful way. First, he put the man off balance with stupid jokes, to the point that the infuriated guy started threatening the green-haired superhero with plasma weapons, and then he gave hope. Frankly speaking, Batman didn't even think about such an option to solve the problem, because he was too fixated on Victor's effectiveness as a fighting unit, completely forgetting about the aesthetic side. When the defender of Gotham left the temporary headquarters, the dark-skinned guy's hand had already acquired quite human outlines, and he was literally glowing with happiness, or maybe from the fact that the reactor in his chest was producing increased power, making the nanomachines work several times more actively.
"What about Dick? Still holding a grudge?"
"Practicing in the far hall. The young master took your rejection to heart."
"First, let him defeat me in a fight, then I'll consider his candidacy."
"I doubt it will happen in the next five years."
"That's fine," Batman nodded satisfied.
"Maybe you'd consider taking him on as a sidekick, if it's not too dangerous? Gotham's expected to be quiet for a while, so he'd have nowhere to hone his skills."
"Thank you for your concern, Alfred, but I can find something to do myself," an enthusiastic young man's voice came from the elevators.
"That's what scares me," the owner of the mansion said quietly.
It had been less than a month since his release from captivity, and the young hero already considered himself invincible. To be fair, he did have excellent physical fitness, which became even better after the drugs used by the Court of Owls, in addition, the hypnoprograms had downloaded into his brain quite a good base of martial arts, making it easier to learn the legendary style of Batman. But mentally, Richard was still an impulsive fourteen-year-old.
And now for some reason he decided that such a large number of superheroes would be cramped in one Gotham with a population of many millions, so he proposed his move to a city with a strange name of Jump City. The place did look interesting, and even for Batman, as the number of crimes related to the use of superpowers had increased dramatically there over the past month.
"What do you think of the idea? - Grayson clarified, taking a breath after the story.
"Horrible," the billionaire quickly opened some photos on his computer that showed the ruins of the high-rise. - Eight on the Richter scale, and judging by the localized nature of the impact, it was meth. I'm sorry, Dick, but this is clearly not an opponent on your level.
"What if I have a team? - The teenager wouldn't give up.
"You need at least Aquaman's level just to survive the elements. And I have my doubts you'll be able to find the right candidates. And even if you did, why would they want you? Your tactical skills are minimal, your level of body control allows you to cope only with ordinary bandits, and even then there is a chance to get dangerously injured if there are a lot of opponents."
"Hmm..." the young hero fluffed his hair thoughtfully. - So, I need to become a good leader. Got it! - Pounding his fist on his palm, he ran to the elevators.
"I hope it will keep him busy for the next two years. Then we'll have to think of something else..." Bruce said thoughtfully, glancing at his foster son's back.
***
The powerful sorceress had had a bad week. Not only did an invasion of Darkseid's cyberdemons disrupt her world tour, but her "husband" had gotten a little crazy, interfering with the planet's infofield, causing some of the old seals to malfunction. The demons and cruel gods that had been defeated hundreds of years ago had reared their heads again, serious about breaking out of their prisons, and the unfortunate illusionist had to solve the problem. In truth, though, the ancient alien creatures were not the biggest nuisance.
The fact is that most such creatures have a diet of mortal souls, so without a constant supply of food, as well as without access to the energy of the native dimension for many centuries, it is quite difficult to maintain its power. In addition, normal seals do not just deprive the imprisoned monsters of energy, but also additionally absorb their powers, maintaining their functioning. As a result, even an average battle mage can cope with the creature that has broken free, because the main thing is not to let it stay in the mortal world for a long time.
In a way, the Joker did the planet a favor, because the weakened monsters, who will surely spend a lot of energy to finally break the shackles, can be quickly sent to rebirth, not just imprisoned once again. Naturally, the slain demons will eventually be reborn in their dimension, but without memory or former power. A shadow of the shadow of their former selves.
But those who really pose a serious danger, at least with their boiling activity, are various dark mystical orders and witch doctors. Since time immemorial, there has been a certain balance on Earth, allowing various groups to exist without much influence on the earthly world. No matter how scary some demons are, they are well aware that the death of the Earth will not lead to anything good. The planet is a link between several worlds, so its destruction would most likely lead to the destruction of the connected dimensions. Zatanna wasn't even surprised to learn that Mammon had turned the parademons who had attacked the casino into golden statues so that they wouldn't kidnap his flock.
So, since the old agreements stopped working, some personalities decided to remind the regular world of their existence.
***A few days ago***
A call from a familiar detective caught Zatanna almost immediately after her close and incredibly pleasant conversation with Jay. And one could understand her indignation when she found out that instead of a well-deserved vacation in a hot tub or researching the effects of prana on magical weaves, she'd have to deal with some alternatively gifted creatures that had attacked the Nob Hill restaurant. Good thing household spells could clean up the aftermath of a stormy encounter, as well as get her clothes in proper shape.
It didn't take long to assemble and set up the transition arch, and now the beautiful sorceress was leaving the rainbow portal in one of the alleys of San Francisco. The city greeted her with bright lights, a couple of alien towers organically blended into the landscape, and a red car parked nearby. Leaning against the hood of the vehicle stood a man in a long white coat, clearly trying to resemble Lieutenant Columbo from the TV series of the same name that ran on television in the eighties. He had even given himself a similar hairstyle, paying homage to his idol.
"Good evening, Ms. Zatara," he said hello, smiling charmingly.
"He was kind, Detective Colton," the illusionist replied, imitating her companion's manner. - And I'm more of a Mrs.
As strange as it may sound, the spontaneous decision to sleep on the altar of the Shadow Peak with the champions of the Eternal brought pleasant bonuses, such as strengthened mind defense, not to mention a successful match of characters, so the girl did not think to hide her changed status. It would also cool down the man, who was sometimes too annoying, trying to get her to go out on a date.
"Congratulations. Who is the hero who managed to win the heart of an unapproachable sorceress who turned down San Francisco's most famous, stylish, and coolest detective? And why "sooner rather than later"?"
"Magic tricks, and who he is - it doesn't matter," the beauty waved away, climbing into the cabin through the kindly opened passenger door. - I hope this is a serious matter, and I hope you didn't call me here for nothing.
"Oh, believe me, you won't be disappointed. Someone attacked a notorious drug lord and his subordinates right in the restaurant."
"Okay, Dale," the sorceress said seriously, putting aside her joking tone, "if you've called me again just to find the attackers because your department has a crime-solving plan, I'm going to turn you into a toad for a couple days and take you to a pet store.
"Wait, wait, you just have to see the crime scene, because it's hard to describe in words," the man hastened to dispel his doubts, feeling a serious threat to his health.
"Oh, does the famous Detective Colton have such a limited vocabulary? - her voice was full of irony.
"Well, he's not gonna be good enough for that. By the way, do you like steak?"
"I'm married, so don't try to ask me out to a restaurant."
"That's not the point, it's just that after what you've seen, you don't want to look at bloody meat again."
"Oh, you've managed to intrigue me. I'm ready to take a look at the crime scene."
"Great, it's just around the corner!"
The car started briskly, and in ten minutes it stopped next to a high-rise building. There were a lot of police officers and ambulances around, carrying shocked people coming out of the restaurant doors. There were also news reporters hanging around, looking like a pack of sharks smelling blood.
To be fair, there was indeed a strong odor of blood and feces at the center doors, so the enchantress had to promptly create air bubble charms.
"Wow... And you were right when you said that such a thing is hard to describe in words," the illusionist said in shock as she stepped over the threshold of the place.
It was as if a maniac with the skills of a wizard had been playing around in the room. Some of the bodies were literally torn to pieces, some of the unfortunates changed their species identity, turning into something like a huge toad or a pig, a couple of walls were left with burned-out silhouettes, as if people were vaporized by a stream of incredibly hot flames, which for some unknown reason did not burn the building itself. Some of them had turned into translucent slime, some of them were covered with numerous deep scabs and had obviously been dying for a long time, leaving a long bloody streak on the floor; some of them had tree branches growing through them, and some of them had been attacked by a huge swarm of furious insects, judging by the many small bites.
"What's up? Any idea who might have done this?"
"Maybe Spectrum," she said thoughtfully. - But no, turning people into amphibians wasn't his doing. There were no witnesses?
"There is one Spaniard who clearly saw the moment of the attack, but he is in deep shock and is constantly muttering prayers in his own language. It is unlikely that he will say anything sensible anytime soon."
"I have to meet him."
"Hmm, I'm organizing it now."
After giving a few orders to his subordinates, the detective led the sorceress into a separate room, where there was a young guy with completely gray hair, dressed in a bloodstained waiter's suit. He was sitting on the floor, hugging his knees and muttering prayers to the Virgin Mary under his breath.
"MALC NWOD," the spell habitually fell from his lips, bringing the witness back to the real world.
"What? - He wiggled his head, finally paying attention to his surroundings. - Bruja*!
The boy immediately tried to escape, but another phrase, and his limbs stopped obeying him. If it weren't for the effect of the previous charms, he would have pissed himself, but his mind was incredibly calm, allowing him to analyze the situation.
"Necesito ver qué pasó aquí. ¿Me permites?**" the girl asked politely. She might be a powerful sorceress, but even gods shouldn't pry into someone's mind without at least a formal invitation.
"Sí," he nodded after a little hesitation.
The enchantress touched the young man's temples with her palms, immersing herself in someone else's memories. The telepathy session didn't last long, and soon the detective had the name of the man who had attacked the restaurant - Eldon Peck. Only he could not do anything with this information, although this person flashed in the archives of the FBI back in the sixties. Just in those days Eldon was engaged in trade in human souls and bodies, having received in return the opportunity to use some mystical talismans, prolonged life, as well as a new name Brother Night. And maybe Detective Colton along with the entire police department and several SWAT teams really couldn't get to the villain, but the sorceress had such an opportunity, and she was going to use it.
*Witch
**I need to see what happened here. Permit me?
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