When I get my hands on him, all the pain he's going to feel… I'm going to take an entire brick and shove it up his ass. He's going to feel unholy pain. He's going to wish to his God that I stop, and even then I probably won't.
Well, considering my current situation, I'm stuck in the middle of the desert next to a river. At least it's a good river, infested with crocodiles and whatever the hell that weird spider-looking thing is. Hello, nasty. Before squishing that thing, it at least made a satisfying, crunchy noise. Then I ate it because I was hungry.
Turns out I have regeneration and immunity to poison. I found that out with the fifth scorpion. Damn, that hurt for like 10 minutes. Whoa, what is that? Oh, another dead tree. What's that, a cactus? I'm pretty sure I'm going insane. If I don't see civilization soon, I might start eating crocodiles. I looked at the crocodiles in the river. Wait, no, I'm pretty sure it's a river. Crocodile bacon sounds yummy.
I kept walking around, kicking the sand as I continued to walk down the river, continuing to see sand dunes and the occasional scorpion. Of course, the river… well, this just seems like an ongoing nightmare.
Time skip about a week. The only thing that I am not right now is thirsty. I finally see something other than yellow, sort of greenish, and sometimes brown. I'm pretty sure that's civilization up ahead, I said with happiness, starting to sprint like a madman towards that poor little village, not knowing an immortal monster is coming after them to devour their souls. I continued to sprint towards the village. I did see people up ahead, so I kept going faster and faster. Eventually, I'm pretty sure they noticed me because a few guards, I guess you could say, were holding ancient weapons.
Well, what could they possibly do to me? Anyway, I decided to play a trick on them. I somehow got them to calm down. Then I showed them a magic trick: I showed them they could pull off my finger. Let's just say they were quite impressed by the way they were screaming. Though I couldn't understand what they were saying, there was a lot of screaming.
As I said, I was treated kindly, I guess you could say. They brought me to the chief, and I showed him the magic trick. He was also quite excited about it, I guess you could say. I told him if I could borrow any supplies because I was going on a journey. I told him about God and some basic stuff. I told them a story about a fish that could blow up islands and had toxic poison. I showed them a drawing—a drawing of a nuclear bomb. They thought it was a fish.
I told them the story about how the fish was an island-destroying, god-killing, poison cloud-spreading massive destruction creature, and how there were only five of them. They were quite curious about how I learned of this information. I told them that I came from an island not too far away where one of these fish came from the sky and destroyed everything. Then I showed them the symbol of the fish, and they celebrated it as a god or something. I don't really know.
I left that place quickly and headed to the nearest city they pointed me to. They sent me with a merchant caravan.