“You are so much like him, it…” I exhaled slowly, closing my eyes. “It’s beyond scary, honestly. I can’t stand to be around you anymore.” I lifted my hand. “Look. I’m shaking.”
He stared back at me for a few moments, saying nothing. Then he exited the apartment.
* * * *
Phillip didn’t come home until after 7:00 P.M. I was already in bed, watching Glow on Netflix and idly checking off supplies on my course checklist. He passed by without saying anything, and closed his door. When I heard it click shut, the full weight of my loneliness sunk in.
This was supposed to be the one good thing that I have going for me, and I had ruined it. I pushed Phillip away with my neediness; had scared him with the past that I hadn’t disclosed to him. He was already dealing with his own frustrations: his breakup, his back, the brisk manner in which his entire life was upended. I was being selfish and unfair to the one person I wanted to support the most.