บท 112: 112 - Pretentious B (2,6k words)
Nivi's POV
Somewhere in the past, before the breakdown in front of Yaya...
After Yaya visited our spring house and left, I looked up at my angry mates, "She doesn't mean any harm. Don't take what she says to heart. That's just how she is."
"Does that mean that she can say anything to you, and do whatever she wants, just because she's your best friend?" asked Sei, "That doesn't sound right."
"Well, no, but..." I trailed off. My mates' words kept reminding me of YaYa's bad behavior and how she hurt everyone's feelings. I knew that they were trying to help, open my eyes to the toxic aspects of our friendship.
"She doesn't deserve a friend like you," Winston agreed, "You should treat yourself better. Don't waste your kindness on people who don't appreciate it."
Their praises encouraged me to speak my mind, and their support gave me the strength to confront YaYa and stand my ground, but I always disappointed them by wanting to maintain my friendship with someone like her.
I would say, "Don't pick on my males."
And she would do the opposite, each time worse than the last. Winston didn't have strong enough self-esteem, and the same went for Harvey. I always reassured them that they were perfect the way they were and that I loved them. But then came Yaya, who would make them question everything they knew about me.
YaYa's attitude made my husbands even more grateful, making them realize how rare and precious a female like me was, and that I should be cherished, appreciated, and respected.
She wasn't helping me get closer to them ─ no, she was being mean on purpose like always. It felt like she was taunting me: Still want to be my friend? Then, be ready to have your perfect image crumble.
My decision to maintain my friendship with Yaya was the only time my husbands questioned me, judged me. It was the only time I wasn't the perfect female in their eyes.
Muir's question still echoed in my head: "Would you be able to gain your males' affection and admiration if it weren't for all the bad females they've had in their lives? What if this world was filled with only good females? On what basis would they measure your worthiness, then? Until you answer, please refrain from pitying me, for I'm not the one in need of it."
If not for other bad females, would they even love me the way they do now? Was Muir implying that I needed someone else's shortcomings to look good by comparison?
I thought I was on good terms with Muir, but maybe I was wrong. In the novel, the only person Muir ever cared about was his love. Everyone else was discardable.
Do not tell me that he wanted to get rid of me because I was a threat to his relationship with Yaya?
No way would Yaya allow him to do something like that.
She wouldn't.
Right?
YaYa was always harsh, and her words never came across as nice. She was no different back then, but I was never the target of her hostility, her real hostility. Instead, it was those who bothered me. So, when she targeted my mates, I felt a mixture of shock and anger.
Why would she do that?
I didn't ask her, fearing her answer, but I knew.
Deep inside, I knew.
She didn't change. I did.
YaYa was always a jerk.
It's me, who began to feel embarrassed, ashamed, and guilty when she behaved badly in front of my mates. They always questioned why I would put up with someone like her. Someone, who was so different from me. They thought that she was dragging me down, that I was losing myself for the sake of keeping her.
I was not. I was losing myself for the sake of keeping them.
I even sugarcoated our first meeting, telling them a story, where YaYa was a heroine, a strong, independent, and beautiful woman, and not a monster.
For me, she was, and will always be, my savior.
My friends used to badmouth and slander me behind my back, trying to find faults in everything I did. Gentle smiles were the things that welcomed me every morning until one day, they were not there.
Every move I made, was scrutinized and judged. Smile at a male? Automatic slut. Talk to a stranger? Flirting. Complimenting a girl? Jealous. Ignoring a a girl? Rude. If I talked, I was an attention seeker. If I stayed silent, I was a snob. Everything was a problem, and every little thing was blown out of proportion.
When I came to class, my stuff was thrown in the trash, my books torn to shreds. A huge 'go die' was written on the desk with black ink. I didn't know what I did to deserve such hate, what sin did I commit, what did I do wrong, to receive such treatment.
I was too weak to fight back. So, I did the only thing that I could, and ran. I ran away from everyone and everything, and found refuge in books, movies, and video games.
I escaped my own world, into a million different universes, but always came back to the harsh reality.
When Yaya enrolled in our school, her first act was to introduce herself and her favorite hobby, bullying. She actually walked into the classroom and told everyone, "Hello, I'm Yaya. And I like bullying people."
It was her! The one that helped me escape the other day! She was my savior!
Or not.
I glanced down at the cast around my arm...
I just wanted to thank her for helping me and ran up to her after the class ended. Did she have to break my arm before the whole hallway?
Yaya must have come from a wealthy family, for a lawyer was present to take care of the situation. He silenced my parents, paid the hospital fees, and I had a VIP ward just for myself. I enjoyed my stay in the hospital. The nurses and doctors treated me like a princess, and I had all the food, drinks, and entertainment that I could have wanted.
But once my injuries were healed, I was forced to go back. Back to the same place where I was shunned. Back to the place where everyone hated me. Back to the place where I could find no solace or peace.
During my absence, the class's hierarchy was destroyed. The former top dogs, became just that, dogs. Her dogs.
Yaya became popular on her first day, not for her good looks or her brains, but because of her bullying. She actually went after people and made their life miserable.
She became a center of everyone's hatred, and my classmates were waiting for the day they could take her down. They even accepted me back to their old group, and started hanging around me again.
I didn't know if I wanted to hang out with my old bullies, but when they badmouthed Yaya behind her back while behaving like most obedient minions before her, I decided to hang out with my bullies' bully instead.
Yaya was sitting alone in the cafeteria, looking scary and mean. I didn't know what possessed me, but I sat beside her.
She ignored me, her attention focused on her lunch, which looked like a Michelin chef made it. It was so delicious-looking, and my expression must have been very obvious, because the next moment, Yaya handed me her lunch box.
"Eat."
"It's alright; I have my own lunch," I said, opening my bag and taking out my sandwich.
"Eat."
"...No, I can't."
"Eat, or else, I'll force-feed you."
"..." I gave up and accepted her offer. My mouth was salivating, and a single bite was enough to send me to heaven. It was the most delicious thing I ever tasted, "Who made this? It's delicious."
"I don't know," she said, supporting her chin with her palm, watching me eat her food, "Someone who knows how to cook, I guess."
"..."
"..."
"I'll pay you back," I said, taking a wallet out of my shoulder bag, then realized it was the worst thing to do in front of a bully. I would become a walking wallet for her, and would always have to give her money.
She gave the content in my wallet a look that called me poor in so many ways, "What's the point of offering me something you don't have?"
I lowered my head, my face red with shame. "Sorry," I apologized.
She glanced at the book lying inside my bag and picked it up. "You read this?"
My face was probably redder than a tomato. It was an erotica, and not one of the romantic ones, but the hardcore BDSM ones.
She skimmed through the pages, her face emotionless, as if reading an essay, and not a sexual fantasy.
"..."
"..."
I really couldn't stand the silence anymore, so I asked, "Do you like... reading?"
"No."
"Oh."
"..."
"..."
"Finish your food. Lunch time is almost over."
I ate, and Yaya was reading my book, occasionally glancing at me, which made me feel uneasy.
"So, are you a masochist?" she asked, out of nowhere.
I almost choked on the food, "No!"
She stopped reading and closed the book without a word, then placed it back into my bag, before leaving.
"Um..." I felt the need to explain myself, following after her, "That's not what I usually read."
She kept her silence, and didn't look like she cared one bit. After that, to clean my image, I started reading something more intellectual before her. You know, just to make it clear, that I was not a pervert, who was into those... weird things.
I started eating with her every lunch with a book in my hand, and occasionally, I would talk about the story. To show my intelligence, and that I was not a simpleton. I tried to act smart, but failed miserably, and the look in her eyes was telling me, that I was failing epically.
"..."
"..."
"...How was it? Wasn't it an interesting part? It's a book written by a famous author," I mumbled, defending my taste in books, "The depth of the characters, the meaning behind the dialogues, the complexity of the storyline..."
"Not to my liking. You narrated it like a pretentious bitch. And that's how it sounded, like a pretentious bitch talking."
"..."
I didn't know if what we were doing could be called friendship. She was mean. Like, she was so mean, it was unbelievable. When she didn't talk, she would make fun of me, and sometimes, her insults were so painful, it was a miracle that I didn't kill myself yet. But no matter what she did, it still couldn't compare to what others put me through.
"You know," I said one day, "If you keep treating everyone like this, no one will ever want to become friends with you."
"I'm fine, as long as no one touches my things."
"Your things?" I glanced at her backpack.
"You," she replied, without missing a beat.
I covered my face with my book, to hide my blush. If Yaya was a man, I would have been swooning, and actually fell down the "falling for my bully" trope. Hard.
"Don't worry," Yaya said, and her tone was the sincerest I ever heard from her, "I'll be a good owner. You'll live a nice life."
I threw my book at her, and she caught it, "Don't call me your thing!"
"How about my little girl?"
"Shut up!"
"My baby girl."
"Stop it!"
"My cutie."
"Seriously, stop!"
"My doll."
"Yaya!"
"Yes, my darling?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
I regretted the day I swooned over a male character's pickup lines before Yaya. When I thought she wasn't listening to my ramblings, she would pull out a line and use it against me.
"You're not even interested in men," I accused her, my face was probably as red as a ripe apple.
"True. But it doesn't mean that I'm deaf. You talk about romance all the time, so I figured that if I wanted to win you over, I needed a plan, and your rambling was my guide."
"..." This sick flirt! I was so embarrassed, it was a miracle I was not falling for her, "So what? You like me? As in, you're interested in me? As in, like, like-like?"
She gave me a long, considering look, making me a blushing mess, and then she smirked, "You wish."
If a book described a male that both genders would want to sleep with, then this female before me, would fit the bill perfectly too. She was hot, smart, rich, and was a jerk. A major jerk. She was a complete jerk. "What are you planning to do with me, you evil incarnation?"
"I don't know. What are you offering, my precious?"
"You're going to hell for this."
"And you're coming with me."
"Sorry, but I would rather go to heaven, than spend an eternity in the same place as you," I shot back, surprised at myself. Since when could I talk back so easily?
She smirked, and the smirk was so evil, it would make the devil himself, blush.
Great goodness. Thank you for making Yaya woman, or else I would have already fallen down the "falling for the guy, who is an absolute sadistic jerk, but treats me right" trope.
I began to become immune to her teases, and actually started talking back. She would still tease me and insult me, but the insults were less frequent, and were mostly reserved for when I did something stupid, and the teasing was toned down.
She almost made me feel like I was in a "I could fix this person" type of relationship.
Almost.
Then, out of nowhere, Yaya disappeared from my sight, and was not seen for a week. She didn't carry a phone, so I couldn't contact her, and when I visited her dorm, I realized she had no belongings or anything. As if she was never existed in the first place.
I thought the bullying would return with her departure, but surprisingly, it didn't.
Maybe it was my newfound confidence, or the fact that I was no longer an easy target, but my classmates treated me better.
But I was not happy.
My only friend disappeared, and not a soul could tell me, why or where.
A month later, she was back.
Current time...
My mates weren't me and didn't see Yaya through my eyes, didn't feel what she made me feel, or experience the things I did with her. Just like I wouldn't be able to see Yaya through their eyes. Through empathy yes, but not exactly, not a hundred percent.
I was exhausted from living up to the expectations I had created. I didn't want their judgment, but if I kept this up, I risked losing Yaya forever.
She was the first person, who made me feel beautiful and unique. The first person who noticed me, and made me feel like I was worth something. She was the one, who made me want to escape my fantasy worlds and retell the experience.
So even if my males didn't approve of her, I would never let her go. She was the exception to the very rule I had created ─ the one where others had to earn my mates' approval to be with me.
Even though she hid many things, and was very secretive about her life, I was happy to get to know her.
"Was it alright to leave Lazark behind?" Shuu asked.
"He was quite curious about the Madam of The Cloud Nine, wasn't he?" I giggled, and the sound was full of happiness and delight. I was just glad that Yaya still regarded me as her friend and didn't give up on me, "If he decides to return, he's welcome. If not, that's fine too."
I had already claimed the best males for myself and was starting to feel guilty about it ─ not guilty enough to give them up to another woman ─ but enough to nudge Lazark's curiosity toward Yaya.
It's not that I didn't like Lazark and wanted to keep him for myself, but Yaya was very important to me, and I wanted her to have at least one green flag among all the red ones.
╔═══ Author's note ════╗
Finally, Nivi's POV.
I was surprised at how she got on many of your nerves, lol. I thought Yaya's attitude toward Nivi and her mates would be more of a turn-off, but it seems like you all have a thing for Yaya, or are trying to be polite and not trash-talk my MC and hurt my feelings too much, hahaha.
As always, thanks for sticking with me and my novel. ❤️
See you next update.❤️
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