35รีวิว
4.64
- คุณภาพงานเขียน
- ความเสถียรของการอัปเดต
- การดำเนินเรื่อง
- กาสร้างตัวละคร
- พื้นหลังโลก
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เขียนรีวิว
I like the story, you can immediately see what has been done with the soul. And Michael can acquire skills for himself, right, but can he buy them and pass them on to Peter?
Let me make it clear that this is not a criticism, and I appreciate not only that you share your stories with us but I am also somewhat envious of you as someone who is just starting out.Writing and it still costs a lot, but I have the feeling that you are editing the novel using too much AI, I am not saying that the plot and the story do not come from you, I just have that feeling That you use AI as a tool to "beautify" your writing a little more, I'm not saying you shouldn't do it, but that you should tone it down a bit, I think it's very obvious to the point of being weird.
1- I expect 80% that the novel is written by artificial intelligence because when artificial intelligence speaks from the perspective of the protagonist, which is usually from the first person perspective, but it becomes from the third person perspective, even when the protagonist talks to himself, it makes you feel strange. Artificial intelligence keeps switching between the first and third person perspectives, even when the conversation is just an idea or a conversation with himself, and all the conversation revolves around determination and strengthening himself or confusion in his mind in stupid situations or challenging himself to be a better person, etc. And when the protagonist speaks about himself, but from a third person perspective, I did not notice its appearance until recently after the appearance of novels written by artificial intelligence. I have no problem with stories written by artificial intelligence, but this type of novels needs a lot of editing.
The story is good and everything the only problem that this novel has is the fight scenes!! Mainly because the attribute difference because in many situations even if the attribute difference ain't even like 50% for a few attributes the MC just gets manhandled which doesn't make sense especially in earlier fights when enemies didn't have special powers!! Like MC can defeat the bullies when they have multiple times more attributes and more combat skills cause of his superpowers which makes perfect sense. But when MC has better skills but latter on the enemy had just s bit more attributes the MC needs a power up even if because of MC's superpowers even if he had 50% more attributes MC should suppress them!! So like a lot of fights are unnecessarily long. Author you do know that it would be good if this was animated but reading it all you just like lose track of what is even happening unless you meditate to perfectly picture the fight in your head which is like the biggest problem here!! ***** Author this novel currently gives the vibes it is in its last phases. So it is that true of will it go on for +200 more chapters.
Yes ................................very good story telling me likey.............................................................................................
THE_V1S1ON Excellent Fanfic Keep up the great work. You can do this Spiderman fanfic idea directly after I Am the Mentor of Spider-Man I'm Miles Morales, so what? This story will be completely different; our hero is not the altruist we are used to seeing him. He is a person who acts only for his and his women's well-being. Trent was a gamer and loved to play the Marvel's Spider-Man series by Insomniac Games until he woke up in the body of Miles Morales at the start of Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales. Harem Ebony Brown Cristal (Boondocks) Luna (Boondocks) Lakeisha Grant Monet Stewart Tejada Diana Tejada Jessica Figueroa Raquel Thomas Dee Dee Tubbs Roberta Tubbs Donna Tubbs
The writing is a little butt, and the way he describes things is a little weird. Also, the conversations don't sound normal. Overall, it's a good novel, a little hard to read, but a great find nonetheless.
havent read it yet but i'll give it a 5 star since there's not a lot of spiderman ff that doesnt focus on angst/hurt/comfort/drama. If you guys do know any spiderman ff that doesnt focus on those genres above, please do let me know. i already read the spider,im spiderman by alienwarlord
this is a good fanfic it was nothing I had seen before great job author kept it up
Fanfic mas chata que eu já vi ....😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨 S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S
Idea is good, mc is inconsistent, people around him are cardboards, author said it's 1947 but can't deliver it at all. MCs wasn't fighter or athlete at all but with abilities that shouldn't improve that he suddenly became one. Overall, starter chapters is a total mess.
Hmmm, First of, this is the most unique fanfiction I have ever read, the story is catchy and the emotional things? like the other mcu fanfiction, universe where the mc starts before tony stark became ironman the plot itself is unique, the world building is also unique, how unique?, I don't know, what will happen next,(I read many mcu fanfiction, almost all of them is the same) but this? noo, This is why I like it, make it more unpredictable sir author while there's also some elements that can say not unique but, hey this is really good, then there's also the fighting scene, the mc struggles is good, he's not all powerful, but he doesn't have teleportation or portals, heck the mc also fights bare handed, The Pov switching? isn't boring... maybe because it's new making me read all chapter... ANYWAY, IF YOU EVER DROP THIS BOOK AUTHOR, I WILL CURSE YOU so please don't drop it, oh yeah love your work, I am a certified fan of this now...
เปิดเผยสปอยเลอร์
It's a really cool story. Got pretty into it at the beginning, but dropped off due to all the different POVs. That and it seems like you're constantly being whiplashed back 10 minutes before to see what 6 or 7 other characters were doing while the mc was busy.
Well, it was weird at the beginning, but then it became more interesting as was explored more of the character's backstory. I would completely change the beginning, adding more surprise from the transfer to other universe, misunderstanding of what is happening before the system appears, and again before its appearance (where information about the universe is revealed and info about when the original Spider-Man appears) not to show the protagonist’s obsession with mentoring
I love the story and it is a great idea and I hope you continue on with your story but it's not for me it's to fast paced were he doesn't really work hard for his powers. For me it takes away a massive chunk of who spider man is the hardwork and determination he has. Most people don't realize but spiderman while stronger then almost every single villain is usually shown to be weaker cause he doesn't kill or try to hurt his villains he always looks for a different option. While he is strong he constantly looks for ways to improve himself and his abilities. So each spider man is unique in their own way and with how this is going I don't see him becoming his own version of spiderman just mimicking the hero he looked up to. Also making it where there is template's he can aquire were he can get a person's skills and hardwork that they poured their entire life into doesn't sit right with me. To get that without any of the hardships or Training it's like giving a person Ironmans suit so now he is iron man when it's the person who makes the hero and the hero they become inspire others to be better versions of themselves.
The system is clearly unnecessary in this story, the idea is incredible, but adding a system to this story spoils all the intensity and interest in the work
Good Story like the Idea But Based on the timeline it will take years/chapters on which what im here for, which is the MC Teaching spider-man so i hope there will be a huge timeskip or this book will have a huge chapter like 500+ which is also fine by me.
เปิดเผยสปอยเลอร์
I like the story, you can immediately see what has been done with the soul. And Michael can acquire skills for himself, right, but can he buy them and pass them on to Peter?
Let me make it clear that this is not a criticism, and I appreciate not only that you share your stories with us but I am also somewhat envious of you as someone who is just starting out.Writing and it still costs a lot, but I have the feeling that you are editing the novel using too much AI, I am not saying that the plot and the story do not come from you, I just have that feeling That you use AI as a tool to "beautify" your writing a little more, I'm not saying you shouldn't do it, but that you should tone it down a bit, I think it's very obvious to the point of being weird.
1- I expect 80% that the novel is written by artificial intelligence because when artificial intelligence speaks from the perspective of the protagonist, which is usually from the first person perspective, but it becomes from the third person perspective, even when the protagonist talks to himself, it makes you feel strange. Artificial intelligence keeps switching between the first and third person perspectives, even when the conversation is just an idea or a conversation with himself, and all the conversation revolves around determination and strengthening himself or confusion in his mind in stupid situations or challenging himself to be a better person, etc. And when the protagonist speaks about himself, but from a third person perspective, I did not notice its appearance until recently after the appearance of novels written by artificial intelligence. I have no problem with stories written by artificial intelligence, but this type of novels needs a lot of editing.
The story is good and everything the only problem that this novel has is the fight scenes!! Mainly because the attribute difference because in many situations even if the attribute difference ain't even like 50% for a few attributes the MC just gets manhandled which doesn't make sense especially in earlier fights when enemies didn't have special powers!! Like MC can defeat the bullies when they have multiple times more attributes and more combat skills cause of his superpowers which makes perfect sense. But when MC has better skills but latter on the enemy had just s bit more attributes the MC needs a power up even if because of MC's superpowers even if he had 50% more attributes MC should suppress them!! So like a lot of fights are unnecessarily long. Author you do know that it would be good if this was animated but reading it all you just like lose track of what is even happening unless you meditate to perfectly picture the fight in your head which is like the biggest problem here!! ***** Author this novel currently gives the vibes it is in its last phases. So it is that true of will it go on for +200 more chapters.
Yes ................................very good story telling me likey.............................................................................................
THE_V1S1ON Excellent Fanfic Keep up the great work. You can do this Spiderman fanfic idea directly after I Am the Mentor of Spider-Man I'm Miles Morales, so what? This story will be completely different; our hero is not the altruist we are used to seeing him. He is a person who acts only for his and his women's well-being. Trent was a gamer and loved to play the Marvel's Spider-Man series by Insomniac Games until he woke up in the body of Miles Morales at the start of Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales. Harem Ebony Brown Cristal (Boondocks) Luna (Boondocks) Lakeisha Grant Monet Stewart Tejada Diana Tejada Jessica Figueroa Raquel Thomas Dee Dee Tubbs Roberta Tubbs Donna Tubbs
The writing is a little butt, and the way he describes things is a little weird. Also, the conversations don't sound normal. Overall, it's a good novel, a little hard to read, but a great find nonetheless.
havent read it yet but i'll give it a 5 star since there's not a lot of spiderman ff that doesnt focus on angst/hurt/comfort/drama. If you guys do know any spiderman ff that doesnt focus on those genres above, please do let me know. i already read the spider,im spiderman by alienwarlord
this is a good fanfic it was nothing I had seen before great job author kept it up
Fanfic mas chata que eu já vi ....😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨 S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S
Idea is good, mc is inconsistent, people around him are cardboards, author said it's 1947 but can't deliver it at all. MCs wasn't fighter or athlete at all but with abilities that shouldn't improve that he suddenly became one. Overall, starter chapters is a total mess.
Hmmm, First of, this is the most unique fanfiction I have ever read, the story is catchy and the emotional things? like the other mcu fanfiction, universe where the mc starts before tony stark became ironman the plot itself is unique, the world building is also unique, how unique?, I don't know, what will happen next,(I read many mcu fanfiction, almost all of them is the same) but this? noo, This is why I like it, make it more unpredictable sir author while there's also some elements that can say not unique but, hey this is really good, then there's also the fighting scene, the mc struggles is good, he's not all powerful, but he doesn't have teleportation or portals, heck the mc also fights bare handed, The Pov switching? isn't boring... maybe because it's new making me read all chapter... ANYWAY, IF YOU EVER DROP THIS BOOK AUTHOR, I WILL CURSE YOU so please don't drop it, oh yeah love your work, I am a certified fan of this now...
เปิดเผยสปอยเลอร์ It's a really cool story. Got pretty into it at the beginning, but dropped off due to all the different POVs. That and it seems like you're constantly being whiplashed back 10 minutes before to see what 6 or 7 other characters were doing while the mc was busy.
Well, it was weird at the beginning, but then it became more interesting as was explored more of the character's backstory. I would completely change the beginning, adding more surprise from the transfer to other universe, misunderstanding of what is happening before the system appears, and again before its appearance (where information about the universe is revealed and info about when the original Spider-Man appears) not to show the protagonist’s obsession with mentoring
I love the story and it is a great idea and I hope you continue on with your story but it's not for me it's to fast paced were he doesn't really work hard for his powers. For me it takes away a massive chunk of who spider man is the hardwork and determination he has. Most people don't realize but spiderman while stronger then almost every single villain is usually shown to be weaker cause he doesn't kill or try to hurt his villains he always looks for a different option. While he is strong he constantly looks for ways to improve himself and his abilities. So each spider man is unique in their own way and with how this is going I don't see him becoming his own version of spiderman just mimicking the hero he looked up to. Also making it where there is template's he can aquire were he can get a person's skills and hardwork that they poured their entire life into doesn't sit right with me. To get that without any of the hardships or Training it's like giving a person Ironmans suit so now he is iron man when it's the person who makes the hero and the hero they become inspire others to be better versions of themselves.
The system is clearly unnecessary in this story, the idea is incredible, but adding a system to this story spoils all the intensity and interest in the work
Good Story like the Idea But Based on the timeline it will take years/chapters on which what im here for, which is the MC Teaching spider-man so i hope there will be a huge timeskip or this book will have a huge chapter like 500+ which is also fine by me.
เปิดเผยสปอยเลอร์ 
Great Story everything about this was awesome