บท 12: Feel sorry
Victoria's POV
"So, this is all because of my mother?"
Brandon looked at me sadly, while I just nodded and looked away, sighing, trying to calm myself from the bitter memories of the past. My recent explanation made me feel like I was floating back there, and it was so painful.
"Oh my God..."
Brandon immediately sat back, holding his forehead as if he was very disappointed. I'm sure he was disappointed, but that didn't mean I should pity him and give him a chance; it wasn't the right move.
"I remember... You tried to contact me several times, but I didn't hear because I was focused on a meeting with a client. Then when I tried to contact you again, you were inactive... It turns out it's because your mother had destroyed your phone and wanted you to leave me," he said anxiously, then looked at me. "You know... I was so surprised when I returned to the mansion and you weren't there anymore. My mother said that your mother wanted to resign because she made a mistake... She twisted the facts... She... She used every means to make me think that you and your mother were evil... But at that time, I didn't believe it. I kept trying to find you!" he continued firmly.
I swallowed hard, impressed by his words, showing that he truly loved me and I also loved him very much. This heart was once again overwhelmed by guilt for confusing him, and it felt like I wanted to turn back time so I could tell him first before his mother caught my pregnancy.
"Victoria!" he suddenly stood up and grabbed both of my arms. "Now I know everything, I will never let my mother or anyone else hurt you again... Let me be a good father to Sophia, be your man... Please... Let's start everything over... You don't need to fear my mother; she won't be able to stop us!" He said firmly, but his eyes showed hope.
"I know you still love me, I still love you very much, and we have a daughter... We never really had any problems between us, we're both faithful, we're committed... We deserve to be together!" he said again.
Instantly, I was moved, we indeed love each other, and there are no problems between us, but remembering how disappointed and humiliated my mother was or his mother's attitude, I also didn't want to deal with his family, making me immediately pull his hands away from my arms.
"No..." I shook my head slightly, moving away from his mother. "We can't, everything is different now."
"Why?" He narrowed his eyes. "Don't you want to make Sophia happy? I remember she asked you if I was her father... She's not even shy to greet me, maybe she can feel that I'm her father... God united us from the heart... She even has my eyes..."
"I know, I won't deny that you're her father but..." I swallowed hard, and bowed my head, trying to muster the strength to reject him even though I wanted to be with him.
"Why?"
I looked back at him. "I tell you before... I don't love you anymore... I also have a boyfriend."
He fell silent immediately, disappointment evident in his eyes.
"My boyfriend and I are considering a more serious commitment... And of course, nothing is hindering our relationship. There's nothing I need to fear if I'm with him... It's very different if I'm with you; maybe our mothers will continue to feud, my mother can't forget that humiliation, even I can't," I said, trying to stay strong even though it was very difficult, hurting him like hurting myself.
"Your eyes never lie, Victoria," he whispered, suddenly cupping both of my cheeks and bringing our foreheads together.
Instantly, my heart raced, my body tensed, his scent, the gentleness of his hands, reminded me of our beautiful moments every time we were intimate, and unconsciously my eyes closed.
"I know you're lying because you're afraid to take a step with me," he whispered, then kissed my cheek gently, inhaling it softly. "You have to trust me... I can make you happy... Just like our dream," he continued, leading me into that past, but his mother's face was disturbing.
"Brandon..." I pushed him away from me. "Everything is different... I don't love you anymore, stop asking me to come back to you!" I affirmed, looking at him with frustration.
He just stayed silent, looking disappointed again.
"I've said it, I have a boyfriend, and I love him very much. He'll be a good father to Sophia!" I reaffirmed, even though after this I felt confused about who would be my husband because I didn't even love Jacob.
"You want Sophia to have another father while her biological father, me, hasn't even shown her affection," he said, his eyes slowly welling up. Oh no! He's going to cry, I can't bear to see it.
"She hasn't even called me dad yet!" He whispered, clutching his chest. "How could you do this to me? What did I do wrong? Do I deserve this when the wrong one is my mother, even you are wrong... you're weak, you don't trust me, you're cruel... You kept me away from her for years as if I couldn't make her happy... This isn't fair!" He cried out, emotionally, then distanced himself from me.
I could only stay silent, trapped in the guilt that was so painful, suddenly my lips felt stiff unable to speak.
"I can't accept this, Victoria!" he cried out again pointing at me. "Whatever happens, she's mine... I'll take her!" he continued with a sharp look, instantly making me scared and shaking my head.
"No... Don't, don't take her away from me!" I asserted.
"It's better than her having another father!"
"Brandon, you have to understand..."
"What do I have to understand?" he asked with his tense face approaching me. "I can't understand your decision to hide for so long as if I couldn't be responsible for your pregnancy. You misunderstood me... You don't know how much I love you, wasting five years without hope just to find you... How could you do this to me?" He gripped both of my arms so tightly that my body shook.
I turned my face away, unable to see his emotional face, even his breath was rushing.
"You can't make decisions as you please, Victoria!" he gritted his teeth.
"Then what? What do you want?" I looked at him resignedly. "We'll get back together? Is that what you want... Haven't I explained that I don't love you anymore... I don't want to hurt my boyfriend... And I don't want to deal with my mother. I can't imagine if we're together then both of our parents don't approve, especially since I don't love you as deeply as before... We won't succeed!"
He just stayed silent, his hazel-blue eyes kept looking at me as if assessing my honesty.
"I've never been disappointed like this, this is far from my expectations... I won't forget this," he whispered, gripping my arms so tightly that he suddenly let go and distanced himself from me. "I hate you."
My heart felt like it had been stabbed by a thousand needles after that sentence came out of his mouth, and now he just walked away as if he hated me.
My chest was tight, and suddenly hurt, I had tears streaming down my eyes, and I could no longer hold back the heartbreak caused by my actions. Slowly my body became weak, staggered, and immediately sat on the sofa, imagined by his disappointed and angry face.
'I'm so sorry...I'm evil...I'm evil!"
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