บท 12: A Life Of Silence Or Opulence
(Carter POV)
You know, what is worse than not knowing you have a problem?
It's knowing that you have a problem, but it's that you don't know how to fix it. And I have many, to say the least.
I can remember every single one of my nightmares, but they always started the same with me, sitting at a desk and writing until my hands bleed with endless laughter and derision coming from behind me, but as I always turn around, there's just nothing there.
They say the dreams are messages. Your brain is trying to tell you and then, in some cases, what you should fix. To me, it's just a reminder of everything that I was everything I would be without these perks and abilities.
The issue is that the more I think about these things, the more hypocritical it is; I feel as if billions of other people would jump at the chance for such a thing and would go through each and every jump world without remorse. It pains me to wish for that confidence and that lack of emotion.
Does that make me weak?
I want to feel better about myself, but I just can't. But if I go out there and start doing good things, I'll only be doing it because I want to feel better about myself, and that would kind of defeat the purpose of doing it.
What gives people such confidence?
For the past few hours, I've been pondering these questions before the next school day begins. While making sure those three did not gain, psychic powers took a load off my shoulders. I still have ten years to live here.
Honestly, it might get a bit dull, just living in these normal worlds, and a part of me wants to make sure that my next jump board is at least somewhat more interesting. In the back of my mind, I hear whispers of how I should do it because I am better, and I should seek better and stronger things.
But I knew that wasn't me talking. It was the apex predator drawback talking. Personally, I'm hoping to go to worlds like Aladdin, or maybe even that movie Limitless, as getting access to NZT would be a fantastic boost to my telekinesis as it does run on the power of my mind.
In terms of my telekinetic ability, I had made a slight improvement overnight as the small 1-pound weight I had been able to move across the ground instead of just moving right or left. But it wasn't just my telekinesis. I've been working on it. I'd also been trying to increase the rate at which I could teleport as well as the amount of weight I could take with me.
The best place I found to do that was in the junkyard in the city of Seattle, as there were plenty of things to lift, but I always did make sure to take gloves with me as I did not want to touch the trash. It's funny as I found the same car that Andrew would've crushed with his telekinesis later in the movie.
I was tempted to reach my hand out and try to crush the car myself, but I knew that the mental string would knock me out immediately and maybe even cause a brain aneurysm, so I relented for now.
I did manage to find a derelict shipping crate and tried to jump it into the middle of the Sahara desert. Focusing my mind, I began to feel the strain on my stamina as I tried to spread the teleportation aura to the shipping crate.
My mind felt as if I'd been starting to bench 500-pound weights, and slight cracks appeared on the ground due to my spatial distortions. In a few minutes, I'd managed to jump the crate into the middle of the Sahara.
Drinking the bottle of water, I had brought, I sat in the sand as I almost shivered due to the cold as it was nighttime in Africa. After about a minute, I stood back up and placed my hands against the shipping crate again.
Focusing once again, I found that moving the crate had gotten more manageable, which I assume is due to the lifting-yourself-up perk that I bought. It was nice to know that my thresholds were increasing, albeit slightly.
Finding myself back in the junkyard, I looked around to make sure that no one was watching and that I was out of the side of any cameras. Even though I did have secrecy insurance as well as the trackless perk. I still haven't reached the limits of what reality you could just straight-up ignore.
So, from around 4 o'clock in the morning to 5:30, I just spent practicing my teleportation ability while also trying to increase my telekinetic aura. I didn't notice the aura itself, as when I tried to poke myself with a small needle, I did feel a bit of resistance.
I knew I would not be stopping any bullets anytime soon, but it was a start. Hopping in the shower to clean off all the grime and sweat that I had accumulated on my body. I teleported to the roof of the building near the school and walked back to the front entrance, but before going in, I remembered that Andrew had told me that they were meeting on the seats near the track field.
Teleporting behind the boy's locker room building, I walked around and found Matthew and Andrew sitting in the corner at the top row.
Andrew, after noticing, turns his camera towards me and says, " It seems you can arrive on time, Carter."
Scoffing, Matthew continued to read his philosophical quote book while Andrew made some room next to them.
" I don't know what you're talking about, Andrew. I am very punctual unless I have more important stuff to do." Both of them gave me a skeptical look.
"And do you mind telling? You don't have to, but I am curious." Matthew asked as I told them the truth.
" I was ensuring no one got next to a radioactive alien." The silence was heavy, but Andrew just chuckled.
" Look, if you don't wanna tell, it's just say you don't wanna tell us, Carter. Regardless, were you able to finish the English homework?" Matthew's question was meant by Andrew just giving him a disappointed look as I did the same.
Looking about as unashamed as you could, Matthew just shrugged and said, " I live by the mantra of working smarter and not harder, and besides, why would I want to read a book in old English? Like, why can't people in old English just ask hey, why did you kill this person instead of making up 50 different words before asking the question."
Andrew just gave me a "this is a very common thing for him look," as we waited for Mathew to stop ranting about the injustices of reading Shakespeare. Andrew and I talked about his camera.
It turns out it was an Arri Alexa Camera, which was impressive as it was a relatively expensive camera. And as I asked if I could hold it, he held it to his chest as if it was his child. Before I could continue to try to convince him that I could hold the camera, I caught a half-eaten apple heading towards Andrew's head.
Andrew, slightly jumping in his seat due to me catching the apple, looked behind him and saw some of the jocks chuckling at us. But not to give them a reaction , he just turned back around.
They didn't take too kindly to that as a couple of them started walking up the seats as I stood up and cut them off. We had a bit of a stare-down before the gym teacher, who was coming to check on some of the equipment, saw us and did nothing.
No mental gymnastics could possibly explain how disappointed I am in the school right now. But the jocks, before they could say anything, walked away.
Andrew, while looking a bit tense, stared at me with a bit of on his face, while Matthew was trying to make himself as small as possible behind the track seats. Sitting back down, Andrew let me hold his camera, which was worth it as it was kind of fun to hold.
But as I checked the time and let them know, that first period was going to start in a couple of minutes, and the two of them scrambled to try to get back into the school while I just followed behind them.
As I walked inside the school, I saw Steve again, heading towards what I would assume was Spanish class, as that was the only class down that hallway for seniors, and I gave him a small way if he returned it.
It was a bit odd, staring at a younger Michael B Jordan, even though he wasn't actually Michael B Jordan, but uncanny valley aside. I find myself back at homeroom, waiting for the bell to ring to start the next school day.
I want to say that something interesting happened, but then I would be lying as I mostly just use my boredom immunity perk to fast-forward through the classes. In the next couple of seconds, the class was already over, and Andrew and I were already heading to math class.
Matthew was also in our second period, but whenever he was around us, all he would talk about was why they included letters in math. I share the same questions as he does in this regard.
Even when I was doing advanced calculations regarding my taxes in my stock portfolio, I never had to worry about letters. And don't even get me started on imaginary numbers.
Before I knew it, the second day of school was already over, and I was going home with assignments in Physics, Math, English, and Spanish. Thankfully, in the last ten years. In my previous jump, I had already spoken and was able to read and write in Spanish quite fluently.
But if I had one thing to say, it was nice to live on a schedule. I was never a fan of chaos or having too many choices at once. I always lived my life from one objective to the next, but even those objectives constantly change.
From managing multiple work schedules to coinciding days off with various late shifts and trying to pay for gas and basic commodities while sleeping in my car. I do wonder what happened to my old car. It's probably either taken apart for its parts or sold to somebody else.
I actually did feel bad about that, as I probably bonded more with that inanimate vehicle than I did anyone else.
Walking out of the school with Andrew and Matthew in tow, Andrew was the first to ask me, " Hey, Carter, want to hang out at Matt's place?"
Thinking it over, I nodded, and as we got in Matthew's car, we got settled before heading out. The drive only took around 10 minutes, and as we walked up to his door, he put the key in and opened the door.
Walking inside, I put my shoes on the carpet near the door, and as I put my bag down near my shoes, We just sat down near the TV in the living room and put together some Lego sets until the sun started to set in the sky.
It was quiet, and while I did find it a bit odd that they weren't talking too much. It made more sense that they were such good friends that they didn't really need to speak, and I just enjoyed the silence. Well, at least until Matthew's mother came home and stepped on one of the pieces.
Let's just say we aren't putting together any Lego sets in the living room anymore.
Soon enough, though, I left the house after telling them that I could walk back home, which was true as it was only an hour-long walk from Matt's house to my apartment building.
Saying my goodbyes, I walked out of the house with a slight smile on my face, and as I took out the small 1-pound weight, I focused on trying to lift it on my hand, and for the next hour, I tried over and over again just enjoying the silence.
It was going to be a decently dull ten years, but I am going to make the most of it.
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