บท 6: Death of Edwin
Summer holiday, Edwin is now in his late 15ths.
He and his girlfriend, or should I say ex to be, are sitting in his bed. An uneasy and awkward silence remained between these two. Unable to bear anymore, Edward broke the silence.
"So, you guys are moving to a different place?"
"...yes"
"You knew this beforehand itself, didn't you?"
"..yes" Clara bit her lips.
She knew about her family moving to a different town beforehand. That is even before they started dating. That day when Edward asked her out, she only wanted to ask him for a date because she knew they would be moving, and she'd come to regret it if she didn't even try.
'haa, so it really turned out this way'
Unbeknownst to her, Edward himself was aware of this. He had heard it a few months before his confession from his parents in a casual conversation. They unknowingly let him know about it while talking about their future plans, which resulted in him knowing about this. In fact, this also played an important role in his decision to make Clara his girlfriend.
'If she knew that I knew, what would she think, I wonder..'
'Ah! I feel more guilty over the fact that I unknowingly gaslighted her into making her believe that our breakup now is her own fault and she's the reason for the current situation.'
'....or did I actually do it unknowingly?'
Again an awkward atmosphere spread in the room as Edward hid his conflict emotions and did his best to console her that he didn't mind it and that it was not her fault and bla bla bla.
In the end, Clara gave Ed a tight hug, burying her face in his chest while apologizing teary-eyed, which only intensified his guilt. He almost wanted to confess the truth, almost.
As he tried to get her away from him, she raised her face from his chest and looked him in the eye. Both of their hearts raced as they indulged in a passionate kiss which lasted for about a minute. Edward knew if he pushed her even a little, they would end up doing it today.
But again, even in this age where hormones makes teens think with their lower body rather than their brain, he managed to retain clarity. He was already guilty of what he had done, he didn't want to increase it further. Thus, he just consoled her for another half an hour, where he snuggled her in his embrace.
...
Edward, after that, for two years, didn't get involved in any relationship, that is until he went to college. He passed the entrance exam and entered a university for his UG in engineering.
Even in the future, if anyone asked him 'why did you choose engineering?', the only answer he could think of was 'I'm not sure'. Though he wouldn't give that answer in the open. It's like this. He tried, and he passed, so he just entered.
After getting fucked over for a whole four years, he finally bid farewell to it. Then he did his MBA, even I'm not sure why he'd do that. Then he went on and did an M.S. in psychology.
....
Throughout his journey he did not fail to keep an eye on his mind, which only seemed to change over time to this very day. It's normal for a teenager to change their priorities and ideologies abruptly once in a while. That's how we grow up.
But after some time, maybe in our early to mid 20s, we will have already developed our minds and characters. Though it wouldn't be rigid as a rock, it wouldn't be as fluid as water either. We would've, at least, formed our bottom-line and moral compass so that, unless a ground-breaking change occurs in society or in our lives, it will remain the same for a very long time.
Right now, Edward is 29 years old, working in an MNC as CPO. He has consulted multiple psychiatrists and undergone a variety of mental health checks. Every doctor has their own observation and understanding of his situation, but in the end they all give a multitude of possibilities regarding his state of mind. But the most common diagnosis is that it's not a mental health issue, but rather that's just the way his character is built.
And it's the diagnosis he approved of as someone 'close' to being a psychologist himself. Edward has a crystal clear understanding of his own character, or he had already gained this understanding when he was just 20.
His character, in a nutshell, is just selfish. He regards and disregards people based on their uses and the impact they can have on his life in the present or in the possible future. His adaptability comes from this very selfishness. As far in the past one is, the more disregard he has for them/it subconsciously.
But funnily enough, this is the type of character he hates the most. The ones who are too rational for their own good. Every time he goes to battle with his own subconscious mind with regard to his decisions.
He's currently working away from his home, but he makes sure to call them at least once. He's clearly aware of the possible outcome if he doesn't get involved in constant communication, especially while he is away.
Today, after a business visit, he's getting back to US where his company's headquarters is located. He had already boarded his flight after the daily call with his parents, who were still afraid of letting him go anywhere distant from their street.
He isn't married right now, nor is he in any serious relationship.
"ding... Dong.. bong"
"slash... Smash..splash"
He glanced at the little boy who was sitting in the adjacent seat looking at the monitor curiously while shouting something incomprehensible.
Ed really wanted to smack him in the back of his head and ask him to shut it. But he restrained those intrusive thoughts.
'haa, it was a long day.' as he recalled all those 'issues' he handled today.
Edward being a CPO is not because of his qualifications in terms of education. If anything, he'd be a better programmer in terms of that. The company CEO forcefully ( by offering alluring benefits that he can't resist) pulled him to his current job.
And it could be said that it wasn't a bad decision from the CEO, not because he found the best person for the job. No, there are a ton of people in the world he could hire who are more expert in this field than Edward. Then why?
Two main reasons. First, finding an expert in one or two fields isn't tough, but finding people who are expert in three fields: software, management and psychology is.
Second, he is young. It hits two mangoes with one stone. On one hand, they reduce the expenditure as the higher experience wants higher share ( literal shares not salary) and by providing him with this opportunity, any young guy would work their asses off since it's an opportunity to prove themselves. On the other hand, the company uses him as a bait for employees, especially younger ones, to believe the organization will reward the 'deserving' ones.
'I will deal with that old bastard in the next meeting regarding my increase in share allocation.'
Edward thought. He wasn't a fool, he was well aware of the company's ploy. Yet can he deny it because of their scheme? No, at least not someone in their right mind would do so. If he denies, so what? They would just move to the next best candidate, but for Edward it would take at least half a decade to improve himself to that level.
It's just like the tiger & man story. If one caught a tiger and locked it in a cage and only fed it grass, it would starve of starvation rather than eating that.
But if it's a smart creature in tiger form, then it would eat the grass, survive, plot the escape, then eat the guy who made it eat the grass.
'Well, maybe I'll put with is for a while. When I've saved enough money, I will just start to do whatever I want, go wherever I wish. Yeah, to live a carefree life...'
The current Edward could be said to be said to have seen it all. Though not everything. He has seen, achieved and experienced things far more than an average human would in their 40s or even 50s.
He fell asleep while feeling good about himself and his exploits, for the last time.
As the flight he was traveling on was attacked by a missile and he, along with around 200 people, perished without even knowing why and how.
....
Next day, the entire world was rattled at the news of a country allegedly attacking a passenger flight thinking of it as an enemy flight. Everyone knows of the ongoing war, but by shooting down a passenger flight, no one is willing to buy that bullshit.
Yet the nation, in response, entirely denied it only to accept and announce their mistake by a public apology due to the international pressure later on.
Did it solve the issue? Will it bring them back? Would it ease the pain the relatives of the victims feel?
No! It won't do shit.
A war which itself is a result of the greed of one nation and the irrational retaliation of another nation, the pride and greed of the higher ups in authority costs nothing but pain and suffering to the common people.
All those people who died, died without even knowing how and why. They're gone, to never return again.
(Maybe except for one person?)
---
Hello,
From the next chapter, MC's character will change abruptly and evolve with age. I will explain more clearly in the following chapters. I just wanted to give a heads-up.
This chapter took over two hours to write, caught in the vicious cycle of writing and editing. Trying not to go overboard with politics, yet I needed to explain a little of it. If anything, leave it in the comment box.
If you like it, add it to your collection.
See ya!
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