บท 42: A Bloodthirsty Monster
I'm ashamed to say that I had forgotten what it meant to be a civilian. Walking slowly everywhere instead of jumping with speed from tree to tree. Utterly slow reaction times. Weak muscles.
It was a hassle to remind myself to keep things within a certain range of movement. Naruto struggled the most. He was the only one among us who hasn't been or pretended to be ordinary for once in his entire life. After a few hours, he got the hang of it.
We spent the day walking slowly, moving like plebeians. At this rate, it'll take us two weeks to get to Otafuku Gai. What if our client had already been killed by then?
"Big brother." I got Kakashi sensei's attention using our guise names. "What if Sister Mai's husband is no longer around when we get to the orphanage."
"Ah. He already left gifts for us, so we'll still help out around the orphanage." He answered.
I nodded my head in understanding. Our client already paid. Even if they killed him, our mission wasn't over. We had to complete it.
"Besides," Kakashi continued, "we won't be meeting him at the orphanage. He has to visit a few people in another city."
Ahh. He already left Otafuku Gai, so nobody can even point fingers at him. We continued our journey, talking about mundane topics. It wasn't a surprise to learn that Naruto wanted to start a ramen delivery service. Necessity really was the mother of invention. Imagine it. Home delivery becoming a thing just because some dude loves getting ramen wherever he is.
As night descended over the landscape, a campfire crackled in the small clearing where we had set up camp. We didn't make it to the next town. I think we actually walked too slow.
The flickering flames cast long shadows as Naruto, Sakura, and I huddled around the fire, each lost in our thoughts. The weight of the mission pressed heavily upon us, a tangible tension that lingered in the smoky air. Now that night had fallen, we were reminded of what we had to do.
"What are your plans?" Kakashi asked. "How will you give the gifts. Naruto?"
"I'm thinking of giving Uncle a tonic. I hear it's good for protecting against heart problems. We won't want him to get sick in public. I'm still trying to figure out presentation though."
"Keep thinking on it." Kakashi nodded. "Sakura?"
"Auntie loves drinking, so I'll give her the gift when she's drunk. I think she'll appreciate it better."
Then it was my turn. "I'm still trying to figure out a theme for Sister Mai's gift. When it's ready, I'll tell you."
"Alright. We still have time before we get to the orphanage. Don't stress yourselves out. I'm going to bed early. Got to plan our route for tomorrow. Yuji you're on first watch. Sakura, Naruto, divide the next watches among yourselves. Goodnight." He walked to his tent and we watched him leave.
Naruto poked at the fire with a stick, sending sparks spiraling into the night. "I can't believe we're actually going to do this," he murmured, his tone subdued.
Sakura hugged her knees, staring into the flames. "It's one thing to talk about being a ninja in the abstract, to train and spar... but this? Taking lives? It feels so final."
I nodded. "We all knew this wouldn't be easy. Kakashi sensei said it himself. We have to make tough choices." But knowing that doesn't make it any easier to face the reality of what we're about to do.
The silence that followed was filled with the soft crackle of the fire. Each of us was grappling with our conscience, with the line between duty and morality that seemed so blurred in the dim light.
Naruto threw another log onto the fire, his face illuminated as the flames grew. "Do you guys ever think about who we are outside of being ninjas? Like, what if we had chosen a different path?"
Sakura smiled weakly. "Every day," she admitted. "But then I remember why I started this journey. To protect the people I care about. Sometimes, that means doing things... hard things."
"Do you know the funniest thing?" Naruto laughed softly. "I tried to imagine it but I couldn't. Being a ninja was the only path I could see for myself. I still can't decide if that's a sad thing or not."
"I don't think it's a sad thing." I smiled at him. "I think you were born to be a ninja Naruto and the world is better for it. I just never thought our first C-rank mission would involve... assassination," I said, my voice trailing off. The word felt foreign, too harsh for what we had envisioned as heroes in our younger days.
"We have to trust Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said firmly. "He wouldn't lead us into this if he didn't believe we could handle it. And remember, it's not just about following orders. It's about understanding the impact of our actions."
The conversation drifted then to lighter topics, an attempt to soothe our nerves. We talked about how it felt to walk at a civilian's pace, about blending in at Otafuku Gai, about anything but the mission. But the shadow of our task lingered, a silent observer by the fire.
Later that night, as the embers died down and Naruto and Sakura drifted off to sleep, I watched, awake, staring up at the stars. I wasn't worried because I had to kill someone. I was worried because of the tiny joy that appeared in my mind when I heard the mission. A chance to bury the rage I was feeling into taking the life of a human. I was worried I'll end up liking it. I was worried it'll become a habit. I was worried this mission would wake up a bloodthirsty monster inside of me.
*******
The next day dawned clear and bright. We broke camp early and headed toward the small town where we'd find a merchant caravan and hitch a ride.
The hustle and bustle of the town was a welcome distraction, the lively chatter of traders filling the air. We traced our path to the merchant guild house where their caravans rested, protected before continuing their journey.
We negotiated a space in a covered wagon, settling in among crates and sacks of grain. The journey to Otafuku Gai would take a couple of days, and as the caravan rolled out of town, I felt a strange sense of disconnection from the person I had been just days before. Would I be irrevocably changed by this mission? I hope not.
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