บท 92: Finale (8)

Joon-woo, truthfully, wanted to start crying when it was just he and Mi Yong left to fight over the last debut spot. He wanted to cry and if he did, they would be real tears for the first time in… months. Maybe he was expecting too much. Maybe he shouldn't have gotten close to anyone if these were gonna be the results. He was foolish. He was stupid.

He shut out all outside sounds when he heard Mi Yong's name get called up to take the first place spot and the last spot in the debut group. He barely saw Mi Yong's shocked expression when he looked behind him to the rest of the now debut group of his friends. They had all made weird expressions when they made it on the stage. Joon-woo didn't dwell on it.

He rubbed his eyes, annoyed and emotional. He wouldn't debut. He wondered how many minutes he would need to busk to get enough money to buy more sleeping pills. He wondered. He wondered and felt a tear fall.

Fuck, he thought. He was crying. He didn't like how real crying felt, it was harder to control.

There was an odd silence and Joon-woo hated bearing his broken to the world. He hated looking so vulnerable. He had revealed a smidge about his parent-less past, gotten hit, he pulled every trick he could and still, it was as if the industry had a vendetta against him. He couldn't escape it, no matter who's body he was in.

"The debut line-up for Producer10 season two has been decided. Mi Yong, is there anything you would like to say before we reveal your prize for placing first?" Misa asked.

Joon-woo noticed that he was barely shedding a tear compared to some of the other contestants. He watched Mi Yong take the microphone with an odd, but not sad expression. Perhaps he didn't care that Joon-woo wouldn't debut with him. In fact, the others, even Reggie, didn't seem sad.

"I hope all of you can debut and find your own success. Thank you for being there for all of us. We will never forget you and carry us through our time as a group." Mi Yong spoke scriptless, and a warm aura slightly calmed the other devastated contestants.

Misa nodded with a saddened smile.

"Truly, all of you have tried your hardest and done your best. I wish you all luck in your idol journey, for you all have potential to do well elsewhere." FYP spoke, uncharacteristically kind.

"Well, Contestant Mi Yong, in first place– you have two options…" She spoke quietly, ominously.

The backdrop changed to two split screens, blank.

Joon-woo's eyes were too teary to clearly make out the options.

"A chance to perform at Yonsei University's h:OURS music festival…" Misa teased with a tone that hyped the option like a million dollars.

It kinda was. If they could perform at a university festival as rookies, they would get exposure like no other. It was quite the iconic beginning for the group. Joon-woo saw the hunger in his friend's eyes and silently wondered how many pills it would take this body to die.

Mi Yong's eyes grew wide at the sight of the option and Joon-woo couldn't help but feel a little jealous.

"...or," Misa paused and the cameras turned to the contestants. Joon-woo was too busy wallowing to notice. "You can choose another contestant to debut with you…"

Kite flew over and hit Joon-woo repeatedly with it's wing. Joon-woo looked at the bird, confused, before processing the words of Misa.

Mi Yong took the mic into his hand and wore a confident smile.

Joon-woo for a moment, after contemplating suicide like his only option, felt hopeful. He locked eyes with Mi Yong. Joon-woo wanted to shrink in his first place seat. He watched Mi Yong lightly chuckle and bring the mic to his mouth.

"I would like the option of another contestant for the debut team." Mi Yong spoke with his unrivaled confidence.

Joon-woo wiped his puffy eyes, though he had long stopped crying. Other contestants weeped below him, as if they knew they were done. As if they knew they wouldn't debut. It was a sight too sad for Joon-woo. Though he had seen this sight many times before, he hated it. He hated it. He hated it.

"And you choose..?" Misa questioned.

Mi Yong looked behind him. He looked at Reggie and Ryeo Hyun, Baek Du-Ho and Jung Hyun-Ok. They all looked at him with an all-knowing collective. He turned back to the crowd of contestants and locked eyes with Joon-woo.

It was an enchanted eye contact he couldn't escape.

"I choose Contestant Park Joon-woo." Mi Yong replied after a long beat of silence.

Misa nodded, "Congratulations, Contestant Joon-woo." She spoke, gesturing for Joon-woo to head her way to the stage.

Joon-woo complied very slowly. He was still processing everything. He was… going to debut? Kite whooped and Carre looked on at Joon-woo with wide and happy looks. Joon-woo… was happy.

Joon-woo reached the base of the stage and Mi Yong welcomed him at the top of the stairs with wide arms. It was an offer for a hug.

Joon-woo, caught up in the moment, for the first time since he had met any of his new friends, hugged back. And it didn't send a chill down his spine when Mi Yong's arms wrapped around him. It didn't remind him that day as Ha-rin, 17 and the most vulnerable she would ever let herself be. It didn't remind him of getting violated. It reminded him of the warm feelings having friends made.

Misa watched the scene with warm eyes. Perhaps something good did come out of this show.

–+–

Joon-woo held in his hand a bottle of anxiety pills. In front of him was the nurse that had treated him on multiple occasions. She smiled at him as if she was smiling at a son.

I've barely even talked to you? Joon-woo thought, returning the nurse's affection-filled expression with one awkward. He shifted a bit uncomfortable.

"Make sure to take two in the morning." The nurse instructed, holding up two fingers.

"Yes, thank you Noona." He replied.

She looked at him with a soft smile. "Congrats on your debut. Can you remember this Noona as your first fan?"

Joon-woo was slightly flustered by the directness of the question. His "first" fan was a woman in her 60s?

"...I will, Noona…" He replied in a low tone.

If anyone heard this, they would think it was an interaction between a cougar and her boytoy… He hummed quietly, nodding along to the nurse's praise.

"Great, great! You'll see me in the crowd at your debut showcase…" She spoke her last words before shoving Joon-woo out of her office.

In a daze, Joon-woo reported to the dorms where contestants were packing up. Most of them were saddened as they packed, eyes red with tears. But in Joon-woo's dorm there was… joy. Reggie, Joon-woo, and Ryeo Hyun would all debut.

When he entered the dorm, Reggie looked at Joon-woo with a wide smile. "Joon-ah, are you ready to [ascend]?" He joked.

Joon-woo cracked a small smile. Ryeo Hyun facepalmed.

ASCEND was the name of the group:

"This 6-person group cannot be complete without a name…" Misa teased.

"So, without further ado, the name of Producer10's second season debut group is…" FYP led off.

"ASCEND!" Misa and FYP yelled at the same time.

Joon-woo thought the name to be good. It was an actual word, for once. Many K-Pop groups had made-up words as their names and honestly Joon-woo was getting a bit annoyed with them. It almost made the groups less accessible for locals who didn't necessarily know K-Pop well if at all.

The dorm was empty with only bare furniture to decorate the room. Reggie had fully packed up his suitcase or so of things, Ryeo Hyun too.

Reggie's head slumped on Joon-woo's shoulder while Joon-woo was standing at his bed, stuffing his belongings in the duffle bag that basically held all of his belongings. Joon-woo turned his head and looked at Reggie with a grimace. He showed the others' head off his shoulder with force.

"Get off." Joon-woo huffed.

"Joon-ah, they called us down to discuss the… incident." Reggie spoke low.

Joon-woo paused, but eventually nodded slowly.

Ryeo Hyun raised an eyebrow in a sudden somber mood. Joon-woo and Reggie hadn't really explained much to their new groupmates.

Reggie looked at Joon-woo as if saying: It's your story to tell…

Joon-woo frowned. "Um… Kim Seo-jun hunted me down when I went to take a breather and basically– uh…" Joon-woo clicked his tongue. "He accused me of sleeping with the higher-ups again and basically uh–" His throat slightly closed.

Reggie looked away, his face saddened.

"He– I don't even know what he was trying to do, but he kinda forced himself on me… I'm not even sure if he was trying to actually physically attack me or you know–" Joon-woo finished the story in shaky breaths.

Ryeo Hyun furrowed his brow. "...what…" There was an anger to his tone.

"Reggie Hyung shook him off and we– we subdued him though… So nothing– nothing happened." Joon-woo slightly ranted. Though the situation also angered himself, he really didn't like when people got protective over him. It made him feel as if he was losing control of situations that might be highly emotional. Ryeo Hyun exuded exactly that protective nature…

Ryeo Hyun rubbed at his temples. "Don't say such a story like that so… easily. He's crazy, that Seo-jun bastard…"

Reggie nodded along in agreement.

"Are you… are you okay?" Ryeo Hyun asked.

Joon-woo nodded. "I took my medicine already. So I won't start having a panic attack, probably…" He referenced the anxiety pills in his bag.

Ryeo Hyun shook his head. "That's not what I mean. I mean are you okay? That's– that's really traumatizing…"

Oh. Joon-woo thought with a pause. Sexual abuse was traumatizing. But for some reason Joon-woo felt almost numb this time around… As Ha-rin, he shut down and made excuses to try and avoid feeling the aftermath. Perhaps that's what he was doing now?

It was silent for at least a minute. Joon-woo didn't know what to say.

Reggie sighed at Joon-woo's prolonged silence.

"Let's go finish dealing with this, okay?" He spoke, leading Joon-woo out of the dorm.

–+–

Joon-woo held in his hand something he didn't expect: 10 million won in cash.

Carre purred at the sight and Kite even had hopeful eyes. Reggie looked at the cash with a large frown, rightfully so.

In front of them was Kim Seo-jun with a notable slap mark across his cheek that wasn't caused by Reggie or Joon-woo, security, PD Dae-Jung, and none other than a secretary of TK CORP President.

Kim Seo-jun was a 2nd generation Chaebol.

"Please, Mr. Park, keep to yourself about this issue. We are very sorry for the situation." The secretary explained. "Our dear chairman's son just can't keep his hands to himself, I'm afraid." He joked with a small chuckle.

Even the security guard grimaced at the words, Reggie probably saw red. Joon-woo just nodded, looking at the money in his lap. He could afford rent with this… He could pay his bills for a while with this… Maybe he could get a new phone and new clothes so he didn't look as impoverished as he probably did.

The secretary slid two clipboards with an NDA form on them. One for Reggie, one for Joon-woo. "Please sign these. We will hold you to them."

Joon-woo had no good memories with NDAs. He held back a grimace when he reviewed the all too familiar formatting.

The legal troubles of Cheerleader were downright traumatizing for even the managers who looked upon them. Still, Joon-woo read over it, pointing at parts that were important to read closely to.

Reggie listened closely to Joon-woo's quiet analysis of the NDA. The secretary's eye shone slightly in surprise when Joon-woo appeared to break the paper down like it was something he had seen and signed many times before.

After a few moments and clarifying questions from Joon-woo, they both signed the sheets. And as they were dismissed to leave, the secretary couldn't help but glare at Kim Seo-jun with eyes reading: you really messed with the wrong person…

–+–

"Have you had to sign NDAs before?" Reggie asked Joon-woo on the way back to the dorm.

Joon-woo pursed his lips. He hadn't seemed too competent there, had he? "...yeah." He replied.

"For what?" Reggie pressed, genuinely curious.

Joon-woo raised an eyebrow, "NDAs are NDAs for a reason."

"[What if you tell me in English? No one will understand.]" Reggie pressed further.

"[No can do!]" Joon-woo replied.

In cheap small talk they made their way back to the dorm. The halls were filled with staff running around and cleaning up.

When they made their way to their dorm, there was chatter from behind the door. They sent each other curious glances before opening the door to reveal all their group mates conversing with excited expressions.

"–fandom name could be… hmmm…" Mi Yong's cut off sentence was heard. Mi Yong turned to Reggie and Joon-woo with a smile. "Ooh! You guys are back! What do you think our fandom name should be?"

Reggie thought for a second. "Hmm, that's a hard question…"

Joon-woo just shrugged, "Hopefully something good."

Cheerleader's fandom name was 'Players'. Perhaps their's could be something related to going up? Stairs? Steps? Ladders? Joon-woo grimaced, then paused.

"What about 'Flights'?" Joon-woo asked.

The whole group was quiet at the suggestion. Perhaps it was cringy? Joon-woo didn't think it was…

"Joon-ah, you genius!" Mi Yong yelled, practically throwing himself at Joon-woo. You should decide our stage names too!"

Reggie shook his head at that. "I want to keep my name…"

Baek Du-Ho nodded in agreement.

Mi Yong waved them off, "Then mine. Joon-ah, what should be my stage name? I think yours should be 'JOON', all caps."

Reggie shook his head again, "But JOON sounds like the name of a soloist! I think it should be something else…"

Joon-woo looked around the room and looked at Jung Hyun-Ok who was laughing along.

"I think Hyun-Ok Hyung's stage name could be 'K'..." Joon-woo idly suggested.

Reggie turned Joon-woo's way, "Ooh… I like that one…"

Mi Yong's mouth went agape.

"But 'K' also sounds like a soloist! Huh? How come you like Joon-woo's ideas but not mine?" Mi Yong lectured with a small pout.

Jung Hyun-Ok nodded his head, "I like 'K'..."

The room was silent, before Mi Yong began a train of laughter. It was fun… Being with them was fun… Joon-woo found himself smiling for what would become their debut. Joon-woo felt happy.