บท 54: GOT : Chapter 54
"Best to rally Summerhall and wait to see what happens, then rally Highgarden if the situation has stabilised. Especially with the war going on in the Riverlands."
"Losing? Losing what? You've been acting strangely ever since that morning at Storm's End with Renly. What is happening with you?"
"If I told you, you'd think I was going mad."
"I already think that."
...
Quentyn drew a deep breath and stood up. His pace was slow as he walked around the room, before settling down on his bed.
"What happened in Renly's tent, I dreamt it that night."
"You what?"
"I dreamt it," Quentyn confessed. "A few nights before, I dreamt of Renly being slain by a shadow. Does that satisfy you?"
"I didn't take you to be one to trust dreams. I dream about drinking all the Arbor Gold in the Hightower's wine cellars and that's never coming true."
"I wasn't…but in Sunspear I dreamed that Lord Stark would be executed. That the realms would be plunged into war. That the Baratheon brothers would turn against each other. How not to trust what happened in that dream?" he asked. "Everything until this one came true."
"Who knows about this?"
"You and Nym. No one else."
Gulian rubbed his eyes. Prophetic dreams were not another problem he wished to have on his list.
"Did you have any other dreams?" he asked still, intrigued.
"None since the one in Storm's End." Quentyn sighed. "I trusted what I saw, and I bet on Renly being slain and Stannis winning. We would have been free to go and the alliance between Reach and Stormlands would've been broken. And I lost, and now everything is going to the seven hells."
"I didn't take you to be quite the believer in that sort of thing." Gulian snorted. "Nor did I think you would trust your paramour over us."
Quentyn's gaze darkened.
"I trust her as much as you." Were the only words that he let out. "But since I love her, she knows things you likely don't."
Gulian felt like the weight of the world got dropped on his shoulders.
"No, you don't." he pointed out sternly. "You think you do. But she has played you and has got you wrapped around her fingers. Just like you warned us before going to Sunspear."
"No, she hasn't." Quentyn shook his head. "She stands nothing to gain from having me. She is not Tyene, and I dealt with her. I know when I'm being played for a fool. I know how to look at a damn mirror."
"Listen, Quentyn." Gulian drew a deep breath. "I can understand why you think that you love her, and I don't particularly care if she is your cousin, and the fact that you keep selling yourself short. But do not confuse lust and love, they are two different things.
I am not foolish enough to ignore what you do with her, and I don't particularly care as long as it doesn't keep me from falling asleep, which was particularly hard when we were at Bitterbridge. Just because you two have your share of fun in bed, doesn't mean that you love her.
Do you love the Jordayne girls too? You bedded them and they had much prettier faces, lovely skin, and anyone in Dorne would've killed to be in their bed. The difference is that they didn't stay long enough for you to say that you love them.
I know that your cousin has taken other lovers in Sunspear, and I know you have taken other women to bed there too. If this isn't a mark of lust rather than love, I do not know what is."
"You don't understand, do you?" Quentyn asked, almost laughing.
"Understand what?" Gulian crossed his arms. "I am only warning you of a huge mistake you are making. Your paramour has the viper's eyes, like her sisters, and I do not trust her word and her false promises.
I'm trying to make you see reason before it is too late. If you want to take a paramour, I would suggest a more amenable option."
"Of course, you don't understand. You think I don't know that it isn't just sex, Gulian? You think that your situation is just like yours where you get to fuck a pretty face while your wife stays in a room next to yours unaware?" the prince's dark eyes seemed to grow even darker as Gulian took two steps back. Quentyn knew.
"Nym is not like your paramour, Gulian. It was always more than just that.
You're right, the Jordayne girls were gorgeous, but Myria was too ambitious and Samira too naive. And for them, it was just that. And the others, too. I wasn't in love with them, nor they with me. Some of them might've even fancied themselves princesses, for all I care.
But Nym is a lot more than a bedwarmer. Whenever I wake up next to her, I feel whole.
I don't feel like a piece of me is missing like I have felt before. Whenever I hold her close to me and she smiles at me, I feel like my heart is melting inside me. Whenever she takes me in her arms, I wish I could never leave them again.
Whenever I feel down and we hold each other close, I don't have to act as I do around everyone else. I can cry on her shoulder, and she on mine. I can tell her my fears and my worries, and she tells me hers.
However, she isn't scared of telling me where I'm failing, where I'm fucking up, and where I need to improve. She's not a delicate flower, she's a fighter. She's strong, smart, and beautiful, but also kind and soft-spoken if you can get to know her.
We both play a part when we are with others, I of the calculating prince and she of the Red Viper's arrogant daughter. But when we're together, we are not shy of letting that facade fall. We can afford to be weak together, even if it only lasts a small moment.
I know all her secrets, for she has trusted me with them, just like she knows mine. She will always know more than you, or Cletus, or Arch, or Gerris. Just like I'll know more of her than Arianne, or Obara, or Jen, or Tyene.
That's why I love her, and more besides."
"But has she shown you any token of affection to you?" Gulian sighed.
"I would like you to be happy, Quentyn, truly. But these weigh little if the secrets she tells you are known by everyone. What of those that you bedded in Sunspear after you met her? What of the trust that she has put in you? How did she prove her loyalty?"
"Did you ever prove yours?" Quentyn shrugged. "I never tested your loyalty because I know that you are loyal to me and that I trust you enough to even tell you these things. I know that you are telling me this out of genuine concern and that is why I haven't punched you right between the eyes.
If it makes you feel any better, we didn't fall in love at first sight like in the songs, and I know that I can never marry her. It took time for us to speak of it, and we agreed to have an arrangement at Bitterbridge.
We both will not take anyone else to bed unless the other is present and has agreed to it, the exception being my wedding night. Does that satisfy you?"
Gulian felt himself losing his footing.
"But…" he started anew. "Quentyn, she hasn't proven her love to you. For all intents and purposes, she could still be using you. How do you know…"
"SHE'S BEARING MY CHILD!" Quentyn finally snapped and screamed at him. If looks could kill, he would've fallen in an instant. "IS THAT ENOUGH FOR YOU?"
Gulian nearly fell to the floor.
"What…when?"
"Nym hadn't been feeling well since Summerhall." Quentyn's voice softened. "We blamed it on the cold and rain, and it got better at Bitterbridge, but she still hadn't been feeling better after the battle at Storm's End. Qyburn examined her, and revealed that she was carrying a child."
"Isn't she furious?" Gulian's mind struggled to keep up with the thought of the Red Viper having a grandchild, with his nephew of all people.
"Quite the opposite." Quentyn sighed. "We talked…for a long time…about what should be done. Believe it or not, I was the most vocal about her taking moon tea, but…Nym is four-and-twenty, and since we've already professed our love to each other…she was willing to bear a child to confirm our love.
I told her that it was foolish, that I didn't need her to sacrifice her freedom for such a trivial thing. That I loved her anyway.
But she was adamant about having one with me, after seeing how Gerris acted around Elinor, and how some of her friends who have grown and married act with their children.
It was our decision to keep it, but she was the one that convinced me to let her bear it."
"Your child will be a bastard, you know this?" Gulian gulped. "Are you ready for him to bear the consequences of being a Sand?"
"We've talked about this too." Quentyn softly replied. "The child will be raised in the Water Gardens with the other children.
My uncle's children seem to be faring quite well despite their father being absent all the time, and I will not let myself become my father or my uncle. I will raise my child with all the love that it deserves, at the Gardens and at Sunspear, with both its parents."
"And you never thought of telling us, either?"
"I never came around to it. There were a lot of things I wanted to do, and there was still the option that Nym could have changed her mind. Besides, we ride at dawn on the morrow, and I did not want you to have even more things on your mind than necessary."
"Where do we ride to?" Gulian asked, curiously. "If we do not ride to Dorne or Summerhall, where are we going?"
"I cannot say, yet." He took the small raven scroll in his hands, his lips curving into a very wide grin. "However, if this is true and nothing unexpected happens, then you will be very glad to have been brought along. If I am to be my father's puppet, I at least intend to do something useful while walking around the continent aimlessly.
I am turning eight-and-ten in four moons, and I intend to give myself a quite expensive early nameday present, and just like a good cake, I shall share it with everyone."
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