บท 66: Chapter 64

My first target was the deer that was still awake. If I could take it down before it alerted the rest, then I would be able to do even more damage. I got close, but not close enough to silence it before it let out a panicked bleat. Around me, the deer startled and began to scramble to their feet. The watcher began to jump away from me, but I didn't let it. I leapt out with my left arm extended and cut deep into its flank. I felt my claws sever arteries and tendons alike, and the deer's leg went completely limp. It crumpled to the ground, and as the blood coated my arm and filled my nostrils, I focused on another.

I could feel the fury and insanity of [Bloodlust] fighting to take control of my mind. With effort, I forced myself to instead focus on incapacitating as many of the prey as possible. I whirled and smashed my tail against both front legs of another pushing itself away. There was a crunching snap as both legs gave way beneath my attack, and the deer began to bleat out in terror and agony as it still tried to rise to its feet and run. Its front legs simply couldn't support its weight, and both bent outwards with the break; the deer seemed to lose consciousness with its legs giving out that way. Its bones protruded from the skin as the delicate forelegs flopped around.

With two incapacitated but living prey before me, it was nearly a physical effort for me to tear myself away from ripping into their flesh, feeling their hot blood cover my face and coat my throat. Still, I needed to evolve [Bloodlust], and to do that, I needed to deny it. I shook the warm liquid from my hands as the scent continued to loom, threatening failure.

The other three deer began their flight in earnest, quickly gaining distance from me. I, hoping to catch one more, lunged out with my right arm and, disregarding the pain, slashed my claws through the side of the deer as it fled, my claws scratching against its ribs. I didn't find purchase within, and with its whole mass pulling against me, I felt the muscles in my shoulder flare in agony. Reluctantly, I released the deer and whistled for Foire to chase it. In a flash, he was past me and sprinting towards the wounded member of the little flock. With its bloody trail, I was sure that he could ensure it was taken down.

Finally, I was left with the two I'd crippled. The first, the lookout, was, I think, a buck. It wasn't mating season for them, so there were no antlers, so I didn't care enough to verify. He shivered in what needed to be a combination of agony and terror. Blood flowed freely from his flank, and the smell filled my lungs with every breath. Still, with all the strength I could muster, I forced [Bloodlust] from taking control as the iron scent seemed to fill my entire body.

Forcing detachment and keeping myself from indulging in my lust for violence, I reached down with my left arm and seized the conscious one by its head. I plunged my claws deep into the base of the creature's neck, and as quickly as I could, severed its spine. I could feel myself involuntarily breathe deep, savoring the smell of my victory, that of spilled blood. Immediately after my attack, the deer went limp and fell to the ground. My mind still fully my own, I went to the second deer and with another swift slice, it too stopped moving.

"Shemira."

She came into the clearing, again seeming nervous. I'd said there was something I wanted to show her, then had gone and hunted, all the while she'd feared for her life. I'd indulged in the kill, enjoyed it, relished it. Of course she wasn't quite ready to approach me.

"Shemira." Again, my voice cut through the space. She looked at me expectantly, withdrawn and nervous. "Do you think you could do this?"

She cocked her head. "Of course not. You're–" Her voice began fawning, then slipped into what I internally dubbed as her "real" voice. "You're the strongest of the pack. That's why you're Alpha."

"Do you think that any member of the pack could do this?"

"No. Like I said, that's why you're Alpha."

"Do you think any two of the pack could do this?"

She paused. "Maybe Took and Brutus? Or Treel?"

"Any of the keelish that followed you? Maybe even three of them?"

Her face fell. I was surprised I could read that in her features. "No."

"Don't misunderstand. I'm not insulting you. What do you think the difference is between those who follow me, and those that followed you?"

"I… I don't know." Shemira's tail flicked uncertainly as she thought about it.

"My guidance. My leadership. Their trust." She looked at me, thinking. "I want to extend that to you. I want you to grow as those who have been by my side all this time. But can I trust you enough to show that guidance? How can I know that you won't turn it against me?"

"I won't! What could I do anyway? If I grew to their level, I would still just be on the level of some of your subordinates. What good would that do me??" Bitterness grew as she continued, "If I have the choice to become one of your trusted few, why would I turn against that? I've been resisting you for so long because I was given no other choice. Does someone want to be outcast? Hated? Weak?" She spat the last word, her derision obvious as she looked up in my face, earnest and open. "Ashlani, you've given me no other choice until now. Of course I would prefer acceptance and power. That's all I've wanted."

Before, I'd thought myself maybe callous yet necessarily stern with Shemira, but now, I thought I may have made a mistake. She had once been an obstacle to me, but hadn't Sybil as well? Was Brutus always my supporter? Had Percral not shown himself willing to grow and change? We were all keelish. We could all grow more powerful, and we wanted to follow those in charge. I was in charge. I was powerful. I could continue to raise the rest of my pack.

"Shemira. When we return, report to Sybil, and ask her for directions. I'll speak with her, and ensure that your next assignment is to the benefit of the whole pack. We have much to do, and you can help us."

I could feel Shemira's hope radiating from her, and for the first time, I got an inkling of how best she could evolve. As the approval of her trust washed over me, she spoke, calling me by title with respect for the first time.

"As you command, Alpha."