บท 23: Chapter 23 Perhaps There's Hope
"What should I say?"
Seino opened his eyes. He found he couldn't move, his body heavy and unfamiliar, his mind foggy, his vision full of overlapping shadows.
He tiredly closed his eyes and asked in his mind.
"What can I say?"
[You've been unconscious for three days]
"Only fifteen days left to live, and I slept for three days. What a huge loss." He mocked himself. "I'm really at a loss."
[You should be grateful you didn't sleep to your death]
Human Principles System said.
[How do you plan to die?]
They finally talked about this topic.
A person can't choose their birth, but fortunately, they might be able to choose their death.
"I don't want to die here," Seino answered in his mind. "I should have died on that snow plain, but I was picked up. I should have died long ago, I can't delay any longer."
[That girl watched over you for three days and nights]
"Can you do me a favor?"
[What favor?]
"Compress the remaining twelve days of life force into three days... no, two days. I want to get out of bed."
[Why do you want to get out of bed?]
"I don't want to be so pathetic, unable to move even if I want to. I don't want to die like this, it's too embarrassing and too ugly. Human Principles System, you're asking a lot of questions today."
[I'm just curious about this. Observing your life has made me interested in humans]
"Can you do it then?"
[You can open your eyes now]
Seino Raimei slowly opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was the dazzling light from the window frame, snow light or morning light, cut into several pieces by the thin window leaves.
He squinted slightly, then noticed a small pink thing lying by his pillow. It was fluffy, curled up into a ball, its tail drooping over its body, its paws tightly curled. It seemed to be having a nightmare — it was making soft whimpering sounds.
There seemed to be tear stains.
His heart became strong again, his complexion gradually reddening, but this was all an illusion. Seino Raimei had withered from within, like a cherry blossom branch in full bloom, brilliant and prosperous, but actually already dead. The prosperity on the branch was its appearance in death.
The people of Inazuma are interesting, calling this 'mono no aware', an aesthetic concept.
[You can answer my question now. How do you plan to die?]
"I don't want to die here. If I die here, they'll give me a grand funeral, but Inazuma is about to celebrate the New Year. Everyone will be miserable and ugly during the New Year."
[Where do you want to die?]
"I want to go to Mondstadt. Maybe dying at sea is a good choice. I can't let them know I'm going to die, at least not now, otherwise I won't be able to leave."
[What are you going to do?]
"This is what I plan to do — that's why I asked for your help."
Seino Raimei patted the little fox's head by his pillow hard. "Wake up, lazy fox!"
Lady Fox was startled awake. Her whole body trembled first, her ears standing up alertly. She looked at Seino, at that long-missed smile.
Yae looked up dazedly, staring at him, Seino's image clearly reflected in the fox's eyes.
"You..."
"I'm back, completely fine. Why were you so worried?" He showed that trademark mocking smile again, as if saying 'How about that, fooled you again', just like countless times before.
Seino sat up, sunlight half covering his body. His complexion looked even healthier than before. "I told you I'm very strong, I can live for hundreds of years. I was just injured earlier, fainted from exhaustion."
"I'm rested now, very healthy."
But Yae wouldn't be fooled anymore.
"How long can you live?" she asked.
Seino paused, then smiled at the fox and said: "I can live for more than a year."
Still a lie, he only had two days left.
"Old man, you're lying."
But it didn't seem like a lie, because Miko could feel that Seino's vitality was slowly recovering. This wasn't just a temporary improvement before death; that couldn't achieve such a miraculous effect.
It seemed he really had just fainted from exhaustion. Now that he had rested, he woke up, and everything was fine.
Miko said: "I don't believe your promises anymore."
As she spoke, she felt her heart trembling slightly, or rather, splitting.
Split in two.
How much the fox wanted to believe, how much she wanted to believe what he said. But what pained her was that she wouldn't believe.
Her heart ached again and again.
"Then I'll make a vow. Will you believe my vow? I've only made one vow in my life, to the one in Tenshukaku. Now I'll make one to you too."
"A vow?" The fox's ears perked up. "What vow will you make?"
"On this day next year, I will still be alive to meet you again. This is my vow."
Seino said.
He lied again.
This vow was true, but what he said was false.
He would die tomorrow. Even if they met again, he wouldn't be Seino Raimei anymore.
Seino told the lie of his life, just to leave alone.
[I really don't understand humans]
Human Principles System sighed in his ear.
——
Tenshukaku.
Seino Sara waited.
She lowered her head, her golden eyes fixed on the steps.
She wanted to say something, but couldn't speak. The words came to her throat and were swallowed back. She knelt on the steps, the tachi given to her by the Shogun still resting on her knees. Sara gently caressed the scabbard, her slender fingertips trembling slightly.
She didn't know what to say, she didn't know what to do, so she could only wait.
Everything happened too fast, too fast to think carefully, too fast to sort out exactly what had happened.
She thought that as a samurai, she was mentally prepared, but when it all really happened, she felt as lost as a child.
It was too sudden.
Now it started snowing again.
Snow fell on her shoulders, forming a thin layer.
She didn't know how long she had waited.
Her knees were numb, the snow on her shoulders piling up more and more, but she still waited patiently. This was the only thing she could do now.
In front of her was Tenshukaku.
Today, this ancient hall was terrifyingly quiet. All attendants had been dismissed, not a single person around. The hall doors were tightly locked, the bare branches of the cherry blossom tree crisscrossing, the withered bark moaning in the cold wind.
She waited. Dusk began to fall. During this time of swaying snowflakes, a voice finally came from the depths of the hall:
"How is he?"
A calm, cold voice broke the silence.
"He woke up once... but he's been having a fever."
Sara slowly exhaled. She adjusted her emotions, trying to make her tone sound normal, so as not to bring shame to the Shogunate:
"His body is severely damaged, and he's caught too much cold."
Sara trembled slightly. She lowered her eyes, her golden eyes dim and lacking luster:
"Maybe... only a few months left."
Another long, long silence. After a while, the Raiden Shogun's voice came from the depths of Tenshukaku:
"Order him to last a year."
Still very calm, without a trace of change in tone, as if without a hint of emotion, as calm as an ancient, stagnant pond, without a ripple of emotion.
Very cold, but this was also the Raiden Shogun's usual demeanor, removing all the noise of the world, nothing else could move her.
People call this 'eternity'.
Hearing these cold words that were almost an order.
Seino Sara's fingers clenched tightly. She could deeply feel her nails cutting into her flesh, blood flowing down the creases of her palm.
She raised her eyes, her golden eyes staring fixedly at the deepest part of the tower.
Seino Sara gritted her teeth, her hands resting on the tachi.
Anger, perhaps it should be called anger.
Or rather, disillusionment.
As a samurai, for the first time, she had such rebellious thoughts towards the lord she served.
Why was the master injured, why was the master dying, why was the master suffering... it was all for you, the high and mighty Raiden Shogun.
He gave his whole life to you, yet you order him to give a little more.
Is this the so-called way of 'eternity'?
"Your Excellency Raiden Shogun..." She bit her lip, tasting the bitter, iron taste. "This humble one begs you to leave Tenshukaku and go see him. He really wants to see you."
It had been three days already.
But the Raiden Shogun had done nothing. She dismissed all the attendants of Tenshukaku, shut herself in the depths of the tower, and hadn't asked a single word about Seino Raimei.
Today, Sara could speak to the Raiden Shogun because she had knelt in front of the hall for a night to earn this chance.
"I've already said, I don't have time, and I won't leave Tenshukaku."
Still a calm and cold voice.
"Your Excellency Raiden Shogun."
Sara gripped the scabbard of her sword tightly. Extreme anger made her lose control. She stood up, her golden eyes full of naked hatred. At this moment, all thoughts of hierarchy, etiquette, the face of the Shogunate, the duty of an attendant, were lost.
"Beelzebul."
She almost bit out each word, calling out the Raiden Shogun's name directly — this was completely presumptuous and offensive, but she no longer cared about these things.
Why, why, this voice kept echoing in her chest, why why why, why!
Why could the Raiden Shogun not care, just because she was the ruler?
Why arbitrarily hurt what I cherish?
Why, when my father is about to die, is the Raiden Shogun still so aloof, what eternity, whose eternity?
Is it your eternity, or the people's eternity?
When the master is gone, she will have no home anymore. What's the meaning of eternity then? She will be alone again. What tengu is she? Just a stray dog wandering alone on the streets, unable to find a bridge to sleep under!
Someone gave her food, gave her a small nest to return to. Now that person is dying, and Seino Sara will be alone again!
Ten years ago, Sara's family was destroyed, the forest burned to ashes before her eyes, and she could do nothing... Ten years later, the master is dying alone, and she still can't do anything for him.
She deeply hates her sense of powerlessness.
Seino Sara doesn't want to be powerless anymore. Even if the consequence is death, even if this will disappoint the master, she must say something for the Shogun.
"He is dying for you, Beelzebul."
The words were already a rebuke.
Sara said. Usually quiet and dull, her words now cut to the heart.
When honest people say harsh words, they are colder than anything.
"He has always been unwell, coughing day and night, waking up from nightmares every night, but you don't know these things. You are the great Raiden Shogun sitting high in Tenshukaku!
How great you are, one decree from you and he must rush over."
Silence, Tenshukaku was still silent.
Indifference is the greatest insult. Sara became angrier because of this indifference. She gritted her teeth,
"He resigned from his position as your close attendant because he knew he couldn't accompany you anymore. He trained me for ten years just to let me take his place to protect you, but you don't know these things either. You didn't notice anything. You tore up his letter and cursed 'He really should be beheaded!'
He's already five hundred years old, he's an old man with the lamp oil running out, but he still wanted to do something, so he took his sword and went to Yashiori Island. He was bleeding, he was fighting, just like he did for you four hundred years ago.
You still don't know. You're in the tower of Tenshukaku, you told me to write a letter telling him to 'die outside'!
He waited for you for a hundred years, now he's waiting until he's about to die, yet you still won't see him, won't leave this tower, guarding your so-called eternity!"
Sara's heart was convulsing violently. She straightened up, her tachi making a faint ringing sound. She looked at the deep Tenshukaku, she waited.
Another long, long silence.
"...You're right."
Finally, the Raiden Shogun's voice came from the depths of the tower:
"But I won't leave this tower. I won't go see him either."
"I need time, every minute and every second."
Raiden Ei said softly.
Her heart trembled slightly.
Seino was recovering well, he could already get out of bed. He said he could live for another year, so in reality it would be half of that, half a year, no.
Maybe only a few weeks.
Only a few weeks left for her to complete it.
But there was still hope.
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