บท 17: Chapter 17
Heonui went down to dinner transformed, if one can apply this word to mournful circumstances. But it was so indeed — she was still in a deep mourning outfit, as it was supposed to be for the loss of her husband, made of matte fabric, with a collar and trim of rough English crepe and cuffs; in her hands was a hat with a long veil, which she did not want to wear, but the hair was neatly removed; the face was whitened with powder, and the look from the emptiness acquired clarity of understanding. Her expression was invariably sad, but when she saw people, she nodded and answered.
The dining room and front staircases were ventilated on the occasion of the Prince's arrival. The windows were opened, thus inviting the sun to warm the estate, until now unfriendly and cold, for the servants entered the rooms only for cleaning.
Wang Han sat at the head of a wide, oval, sumptuous natural stone table. His face took on its usual soft features when he saw Heonui, and he half-rose to bow.
"Sit down, Heonui, please." He motioned the incoming young lady to a seat to his right.
"Thank you, Your Royal Highness," she answered after a little hesitation.
"Wang Han," he corrected, as always.
"Wang Han," Heonui smiled as she settled herself at the table.
The servants bustled with the offering of food.
"How are you feeling?" Wang Han again turned to the Princess.
"I am alive," replied Heonui and added bitterly, "unlike my husband."
Everything went silent. The servants shivered nervously. Wang Han was the first to break the depressing silence.
"You hurt, I understand you," he said calmly. "I understand your pain. And now that the memory no longer escapes you, your pain is even more intense. When the world is already quiet in mourning for Wang Tae, your heart bleeds with new wounds. I understand your pain, dear Heonui."
Heonui looked at him. Did he really understand her pain?
"You are right, and I am grateful for your participation. And you do always care. I am truly grieving beyond measure. And the worst thing for my soul is that I only know from stories how my Wang Tae died. I was happy, but I woke up miserable. I do not remember the exact moment of his death. Why do not I remember? I have pieces here and there, but they do not match the complete image. How can I live with this? To know that my darling husband is dead and not remember how he died? This understanding is torturing me so! I am suffering. And no matter how hard I try, I remember only the happy hours of my wedding celebration. And now, I continue to eke out an existence like a mad woman."
Silence reigned again. And again, Wang Han, getting up from the table, broke it.
"At least take a bite, Heonui. You need to eat. I will not embarrass you with my presence; rest assured. But I will invite you for a walk after your dinner. A fresh breeze will calm your nerves — nature has never done harm to anyone. I care about you; you were meant to be my brother's wife. And your fate is not indifferent to me."
"Oh no, please do not leave! I did not mean to take away your appetite with my speeches!" Heonui was worried, but Wang Han shook his head.
"You are not the reason. I am not well," he replied, smiling. "Go out into the yard when you are done, please. I hope my company for a walk will not be unpleasant for Your Ladyship."
Bowing again and leaving Heonui surrounded by the cook and two maids, who ran in with the cutlery, Wang Han retired to the stable.
"Do not go with him, Heonui, Your Royal Highness," Mimi pleaded, running up to the already worried Princess.
"What are you telling me?" Heonui asked the young lady sternly.
"Please, Your Royal Highness!"
"You scare and anger me, Mimi. Sit down and eat with me. I cannot be alone."
Hanging her head, Mimi obeyed and sat down at the table. Only no food could distract her from gloomy thoughts.
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