บท 12: Pain

[Erik POV]

Pain, sorrow, fear... Rage.

all of these emotions and more were currently circling through me with a fury as I sat on the bed of the truck eating my canned ravioli, just staring out into the quiet streets of Round Rock Texas, biters shuffling aimlessly, some eating a decaying corpse of some unlucky bastard who must've came through here last night.

'Sigh.' I mentally sighed as I finished the can and threw it on the ground, not caring about the noise it created, hell, I welcomed any biters that dared come near me at the moment.

It had been a couple of days since Lukas and I had arrived in this shitty town and made camp at the abandoned motel, dad had been long buried, something I of course had to do on my own as Lukas had been holed up in his room since dad first died.

I swear, while I understand what he's going through, trust me I do, they were my family too, and he still needs to realize what kind of hellish situation we are in right now.

'Ha, who am I kidding, acting all high and mighty like I haven't thought about ending it right here, right now.' I mentally scoff as I look down at the old 1911 in my hand, a part of me calling for a bullet to end my suffering.

The thing is though, while some deep part of me may want it all to be over, a larger part feels that it's my burden and punishment to walk this earth after all that's happened, can you believe that?

As I chuckle to myself I can't help but wonder if I've finally snapped, that is until I hear the characteristic groan of a biter coming toward me, I see what looks to be a kid, no older than 11 slowly shuffling toward me, a massive bite mark apparent on his neck.

Looking into the eyes of the dead kid, all I see is, well, nothing, complete and total darkness, it almost reminds me of the look I've had for years now, the only time I've ever had life in my eyes was, well, with her... sigh, enough.

Putting my thoughts to the side, I hop down from the tailgate of the truck as I raise my 1911, aiming for the kid's head, for a second I hesitate since I know we'll have to get a move on after this but, at this point, I don't care anymore.

Raising my pistol, I slowly squeeze the trigger, and...

*Bang*

Sigh, well, time to go get Lukas.

Georgia, here we come.

(two days later)

[Erik POV]

'I fucking hate this place.' I mentally sigh as I take the last biter out of the group of a dozen or so that came at us.

Jackson Mississippi, that's where Lukas and I currently are.

We initially had gotten a good 8 hours away from Texas going down I-20 E until the stupid ass truck broke down, most likely due to the bits of biters that were all over and inside of the vehicle, on the way down here I may have had a little bit of road rage when it came to hitting any and every dead thing I saw.

So, currently, Lukas, who still hadn't spoken a single word since we left Round Rock, and I were making our way through the capital of Mississippi, Jackson City.

Our journey so far had been anything but pleasant, when we first got here the buildings were in rubble and scorch marks adorned the streets.

If I didn't know any better, I would've thought someone bombed the shit out of the city.

We spent another hour or so finally getting the hell out of that shitty city when we decided to make camp at a run-down gas station a half hour away from the city by foot.

Lukas, who hasn't been much help, was currently in the gas station doing god knows what while I kept watch.

As I sat here, once again holding my pistol and contemplating life, the thought of ending it once again crossed my mind, only to be shot down by my incessant need to punish myself.

along with a mental image that flashes through my mind, reminding me of my goal.

"Sigh."

"What has life become?" I ask no one in particular, about to go inside and check on Lukas when I hear rustling coming from the tree line, from the sounds of it, just another few biters.

Grabbing my machete, I get up and go to dispatch them, three lone biters emerge from the trees as I get closer and swiftly take care of them.

Cleaning the blood and brain matter off of my machete, I take a deep breath and exhale as I begin making my way back over, that is until I heard a single loud shot ring out.

*Bang*

As my brain registers what just transpired, I stand in place, praying that what I think just happened didn't.

Finally pulling myself out of shock, I broke off into a sprint, running back toward the gas station as fast as my legs could carry me.

"Please no god no!" I exclaimed through labored breaths sprinting as hard as I could before I rounded the corner toward the entrance.

As I burst through the door, my greatest fear was realized, I looked in horror at Lukas sitting slumped over with a hole in the back of his head, brain matter splattered across the wall behind him, the 9mm Glock still loosely laid in his hand.

Standing in the doorway, I felt my whole body tense up, rooted to the spot no matter how hard I tried I couldn't move, shock enveloped my body at the sight of my now-dead younger brother.

I must've stood there for what felt like an eternity, my thoughts sporadic and crazed as I gazed upon my baby brother's slumped-over form.

As I stood there, I felt a slow tear fall from my eye, before letting way to a flood of tears and grief as I finally was able to move from my stationary position and I rushed toward Lukas' body, collapsing and hugging him as I cried my eyes out.

"Why god, why?!"

"Lukas why?!"

I sputtered out through tears and hiccups as I held my baby brother's limp, dead body.

I could feel the warmth of life seeping out of him never to come back, all that would be left was a cold empty shell of a corpse.

As I sit there, holding my brother's corpse, tears covering my eyes and face, I hear the all too familiar sounds of biters coming closer, from the sounds being made it seems like a few of them together.

Wiping the tears away, I place my brother's body down and grab my machete, not wanting those rotting bastards to get anywhere near him.

As I walk out of the gas station, I see a few more than previously thought, from the looks of it there were around six or so biters all shuffling toward me.

At first, when I looked at the group, for the briefest moment I felt the impulse to just let them kill me, but instead as if on autopilot, my body moved forward, my vision still blurry yet that didn't stop me as I slaughtered all half dozen biters, blood and guts everywhere as I hacked and I hacked at the corpse of the last biter.

Grunt after grunt, swing after swing, I pummeled the biter's head and chest with my weapon, continuously, not caring about the blood and nasty bits that got all over me.

"Fuck! You!" I yelled in rage, the tears beginning to fall again.

As I continued, I heard more groans from incoming biters, either having been drawn here from my yelling or maybe from the gunshot.

Deciding I had enough of the fallen biter, I take my machete and get up from the ground, moving slowly toward the group of 3 biters coming at me, the first one lunging toward my direction as soon as I got in range.

Instead of evading with the trained swiftness of someone who has killed dozens maybe even hundreds of these things, I almost stumble out of the way, letting the biter fall onto its face as I wildly swing my machete at the next, all reason fading from me.

Continuing, I take out the other two biters, the last one with my machete and the one who fell with my boot, as I stand there, looking down at the corpses with almost dead eyes, mine matching theirs, I move toward another small group of biters.

For what felt like hours, I continued taking out biter after biter, some with my machete, others with my boots, stomping out their heads, and a couple with my gun, doing so just so I could have more biters to fight and unleash the rage and sadness that filled me.

As I killed the last of the biters that were around me, I seemed to come out of a trance-like state as I looked around and all I saw was dozens of biters spread out around me, some decapitated, others had smashed heads and a couple with bullets holes.

'Holy shit.' I thought looking at the carnage, I mean, sure it's easy to deal with biters in small groups but this... this is insane.

Once I finished looking around cleaning my machete and wiping as much blood and guts off of me as I could, I solemnly made my way back to the gas station to collect Lukas' body and get the hell out of there, knowing my luck right now, I'm sure a massive horde was on its way to my location, granted it was my fault but still.

Grabbing as much crap as I could and finally picking Lukas up, I made my way out and walked toward the direction of the road that I would follow to get to Georgia.

Along the way I would bury Lukas' marking a headstone reading:

[Lukas Reinhardt. One of the best younger brothers I could've ever asked for]

And with that, I continued on, my destination? Atlanta Georgia.

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Authors Note:

Hey guys! sorry for the long period between chapters, I've been extremely bust lately with life and university, hopefully, I'll be able to pick back up with the releases but at this point who knows, at the very least I have no plans to drop this story so I hope you all stick it out with me, enjoy!