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50% I Will Live As An Actor / Chapter 2: Chapter 2

บท 2: Chapter 2

"Son, eat a lot."

The golden-brown grilled mackerel glistened with the colors of the sea. My mother meticulously removed the bones and placed a thick piece of mackerel in my rice bowl. Her face was wrinkle-free, the face of a young woman who had lost her husband early and single-handedly opened a fish stall at the Namhang Market.

The moment felt too precious to be a mere glimpse before death. I wanted to hold onto it forever. Wasn't this the mother who devoted her life to me? The image of my young mother was more beautiful and noble than any actress I'd seen.

"Son, are you crying?"

My mother looked at me with a worried expression. I managed to swallow the tears welling up in my throat and shook my head. What a foolish son I was, causing worry even on my mother's face in this fleeting moment. With a grunt, I lifted my spoon and barely pushed the mackerel and white rice she had prepared into my mouth.

But what's this?

The sensation…

As the savory taste and the fullness of the white rice went down my throat, the vividness of the taste was too real to be an illusion. Although it was supposed to be a brief encounter, it was incredibly delicious, as if I was again at my mother's table. That's when it happened.

Huh?

Only then did the room's scenery gradually come into focus. The wallpaper of the cramped space, which seemed to only contain the two of us, was old and worn with mold here and there. The lamp hanging from the ceiling also had one lightbulb removed to save on electricity. It was unmistakably the tiny room in Yeongdo that I had shared with my mother since middle school. It was a perfect replica of that time.

"Mom?"

Her face, lovingly gazing at her child, overflowed with vitality. It seemed as if I could touch her if I had just reached out. Gathering my courage, I did just that, and her skin, still untouched by sunlight, felt real. My mother's eyes were wider than ever. She wondered what was happening, seeing her usually irritable son stop eating and crying while tenderly touching her face.

***

I had returned.

How it happened, I couldn't say.

I was sure I had decided to commit suicide by hanging.

But when I opened my eyes, I found myself back in my 14-year-old self.

Had my past life been just a nightmare?

Or was it a prank by the gods?

Either way, it was fine. The fact that I could experience this moment again felt like a blessing.

"Yeongguk, let's play soccer after school!"

A friend, whose name I didn't know and who was sitting next to me in class, spoke to me as if it were familiar. In this rural neighborhood without even a modest arcade, it was an era when gathering to play soccer after school seemed like a promise.

"I'm not playing soccer starting today."

"What?"

"I'm going to study."

My friend stared at me with an expression that seemed to say, "What kind of nonsense are you talking about?" But I left my bewildered friend behind and walked out of the classroom.

The school playground, which seemed endlessly vast in my childhood, was where I played soccer with my friends every day after school. It occupied a faded spot in my memory—an area both familiar and unfamiliar. I had doubted it many times, wondering if it was all just a dream or a fleeting illusion borne just before death.

But the vibrant people and the tickling scent of the sea in my nostrils were not false. After several days had passed, my anxiety seemed to ebb away like the tide. The memories of losing my mother and the days spent wandering without direction faded.

"Are you giving me another chance?"

I raised my head and asked the clear sky, devoid of a speck of dust. The divine answer didn't come, but I felt the silence as an affirmation. Hadn't I already experienced a failed life? Hadn't I felt the chilling harshness of society in my bones? I didn't want to have regrets anymore. I vowed not to miss this second chance. My fists clenched tightly, and my steps were lighter than ever before.

At that moment, a nameless bird crossing the sky seemed to respond to my resolution, changing its course dramatically.

**

The sound of seagulls' cries filled the air. Boats bobbed at the wharf, docking one after another. Next to the waterfront was the Namhang Market. Like any traditional market, it was a labyrinthine maze. The strong accents of Busan's women and the scent of the sea filled the air. Fresh fish, seemingly leaping directly from the water, were confined to red containers, flicking their tails.

"Mom!"

My mother, who ran a fish stall at the Namhang Market, looked up with surprise and stood up.

"Son, why are you here?"

"I came to help you with your work."

"What?"

Surprise was evident in my mother's eyes. After all, I had never visited the Namhang Market even once before. Wasn't I the son who found selling fish at the market shameful? My mother even rubbed her eyes with her sleeve, wondering if she was dreaming.

"Let's check if the fish are in good condition."

I examined the fish's condition in the stall with a practiced eye. The fish included mackerel boasting a deep blue hue and the pale green of the hairtails. These were the remaining fish after the freshest ones had already been sold at the live fish auction. My mother bought them from the auction at dawn.

"Mom, I'll rearrange the fish a bit."

"Huh?"

When I lived as a small-time actor in my past life, acting wasn't the only thing that sustained me. I had to find other jobs to make a living. As they said, what you learn is like stealing. I'd tried driving and manual labor, but the most suitable job for me was selling fish, which I'd learned and observed since childhood. I'd sold a lot of fish, going back and forth from markets to supermarkets.

"Son, what about mackerel and Spanish mackerel?"

My mother was still inexperienced in the fish business. It made sense, as she was likely the youngest among the Busan women who ran fish stalls in this market. My mother's sales pitches, drowned out by the rough accents of Busan women, couldn't attract a single customer. As proof, her fish stall attracted not customers' gazes but only flies.

"Sigh."

I took a deep breath and put strength into my lower abdomen as if practicing deep breathing. In sales, the most essential aspects were vocalization and pronunciation. Moreover, I was just a 14-year-old. I needed to breathe even deeper. Soon, my mouth opened as if pulling a trigger.

"Now, now! We've got very affordable and delicious mackerel! We also have hairtail and Spanish mackerel, so don't just pass by, take a look before you go!"

My voice burst out like cannonballs, causing my mother's eyes to widen in shock. But that wasn't enough. I also needed gestures to compete with the seasoned Busan women who had been in the Namhang Market for a long time.

"Noona! How about mackerel for dinner tonight? Just take a look. Mackerel is very popular with boyfriends!"

A middle-aged woman passing by looked at me with wide, curious eyes. I was halfway to success. I seized the opportunity and put more strength into my voice.

"The spring mackerel so good, even husbands who left home would return after smelling it!"

"Oh my, look at this kid. How old is he? So audacious."

"Ladies, don't just walk by, come over here! I'll give you plenty of service!"

Tourists and women started approaching the fish stall one by one. I took advantage of this momentum and engaged in even more aggressive sales pitches, making passersby stop as if they were watching a spectacle.

"Oh, you're such a beautiful lady that I added a few extra hairtails. If my boss finds out, I'll get in trouble. It's a secret, a secret!"

Now, even the Busan women selling fish around us stopped their aggressive sales pitches and curiously watched me. Thanks to that, the mackerel, hairtail, and Spanish mackerel on the fish stall sold out quickly.

My mother was able to pack up the fish stall earlier than usual that evening. Despite her objections, I helped with our fish stall and assisted the women nearby in cleaning up theirs. Perhaps because of that, I seemed to have become a local celebrity in the Namhang Market in just one day. The fruit vendor even brought us some leftover strawberries, praising my skills.

"Son, you don't have to help me like this…"

My mother seemed proud and apologetic as her son sold fish with nimble hands. On our way home, her eyes were filled with countless emotions.

"It's okay, I enjoy doing it."

"Son, should we have your favorite pork belly for dinner tonight?"

"Mom, I like mackerel the most. Please make mackerel for dinner."

I would have liked to prepare dinner, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, knowing that feeding her son to his fill was my mother's simple joy. After a happy dinner in our small room, which felt like it could be filled up if we lay down, I spread out my study materials on the little desk.

"Son, are you going to study?"

My mother's eyes widened as she looked at me. This was so different from my usual behavior. She seemed at a loss at the sudden change in her son, who now seemed more mature. I was ready to study day and night. My mother's eyes reddened as memories of the past years came back. She must have had such a hard time losing her husband and raising her son alone as a young woman. The small room we finally got after moving from one lodging house to another. The earnings from the fish stall in Namhang Market were not enough. But today, with my help, we could sell all the fish for the first time. I silently held my mother's hand and didn't forget to hug her.

Looking at my mother's reddened eyes, I made a vow to myself repeatedly.

I would live a life without regrets.


บท 3: Chapter 3

"Today, someone from our class made it into the top ten of the entire school."

If this were a movie set, the camera director would immediately capture the homeroom teacher's face in a reverse-angle shot. Suspicion-filled eyes and stern glares were mercilessly projected onto the subject. The report card seemed to amplify the doubt like a subplot.

"Jang Yeongguk, congratulations."

The students' reactions spread like wildfire, and their faces were soon filled with disbelief. After all, considering Jang Yeongguk's midterm grades, it seemed impossible. Wasn't he the one who used to compete for the last place in the class? It only made sense for their suspicion to spread since he had only achieved the feat in just a few months.

"Aren't you going to take your report card?"

When the homeroom teacher gestured with the report card, Yeongguk got up and walked to the podium. However, strangely enough, the expression on Jang Yeongguk's face as he received his report card was not pleasant. He looked uncomfortable, like someone who hadn't properly taken care of business in the bathroom.

"Thank you."

Homeroom teacher Kim Bongdu licked his lips in a slightly awkward response to Yeongguk's reaction. The first thing that came to his mind when he received Jang Yeongguk's report card in the teacher's office was cheating. It was only natural, as Yeongguk, who used to be the last in the class, suddenly took tenth place in the whole school.

"The subject teachers gave him very good evaluations."

When considering the teachers' words in charge of subjects, including Korean, English, and Math, Yeongguk's learning attitude was perfect. Not only did he never fool around during class, but he also never stopped taking notes when the teachers casually mentioned things. All the teachers agreed that it seemed like he had transformed overnight.

"It does happen sometimes, but…"

As a teacher, one occasionally witnessed dramatic changes in students. However, could a student who spent lunchtime playing soccer and never even glanced at his studies suddenly become one of the top ten in the school after just a few months of hard work? Some parents already raised suspicions at the parent-teacher conference, questioning if the exam papers had been leaked.

"Tenth place in the whole school?"

On the other hand, Yeongguk received his report card with a feeling of emptiness, unlike what his homeroom teacher and friends thought. He had been studying relentlessly, even losing sleep since he returned to the past a few months ago. Perhaps it was because of his regression, but his memory and comprehension abilities were significantly better than in his previous life. He could easily memorize a thousand English words a day as evidence. His expectations were so high that he even looked forward to the day the report cards were distributed. After the final exam, he wondered if he might have gotten a perfect score.

"Jang Yeongguk, come with me to the office for a moment."

Although the class hadn't started, Kim Bongdu was determined to resolve this mystery. Out of consideration, he led Yeongguk to the office instead of the busy teachers' room. When they arrived, he immediately locked the door and leaned back in his chair.

"Jang Yeongguk, did you cheat?"

"No, I didn't."

Kim Bongdu coughed awkwardly at the immediate response. However, after twenty years as a teacher, he couldn't back down now.

"Come on, how could you not have? I know your midterm grades. Yeongguk, it's illogical for a student who's been at the bottom of the class to suddenly rank tenth in the entire school. Even a passing dog would say that's impossible."

"That's nonsense."

"What?"

"I mean, how could a dog talk?"

Kim Bongdu was briefly taken aback, but then he looked at Yeongguk with fresh eyes. Even if they did nothing wrong, most students became nervous when called to the office. Yet, Yeongguk's eyes revealed no anxiety or impatience. In fact, his expression was relatively calm and collected.

"As you know, you can check the seating chart when I took the final exam. Weren't all the students around me struggling with their grades? I couldn't even think about cheating; they were all dozing off and getting on my nerves. One guy was even snoring loudly."

"Ahem."

Kim Bongdu couldn't deny the truth. The seating arrangement was changed for the exam, with the high-achieving students grouped together. This was to prevent the less studious students from disrupting the focus of others.

"Next, you might have thought about the possibility of a leaked exam paper, but has there been any theft? If you're still suspicious, I'm willing to retake the test alone. However, you must take full responsibility for the results."

"What?"

What a bold kid.

Kim Bongdu wondered if the Jang Yeongguk in front of him was the same student he knew. He was at a loss for words as the young man confidently proclaimed his innocence.

"Alright, you can go now."

"Yes, sir."

As Yeongguk bowed and turned to leave, Kim Bongdu thought, how did the kid figure out that the scariest thing for public servants like me is to take responsibility?

**

The labyrinth-like structure of Namhang Market offered a mysterious charm to tourists. The strong accents of Busan's native women and the fragrant aromas of dishes filled with ocean scents were enough to satisfy all five senses. Moreover, the market was home to an incredible variety of unique traditional teas. If a famous foreign barista were to witness this spectacle, they would undoubtedly claim that the true Ca Phe Trung can be found in Korea, not Vietnam.

"PD Yoo, do you know why there are so many teahouses in Namhang Market?"

"Do Busan people love coffee?"

"Well, that might be possible, but there's a more plausible explanation. During the Korean War, people who took refuge in Busan used to meet at Namhang Market after crossing Yeongdo Bridge. Back then, it was the meeting place for all of South Korea."

The well-known PD Yoo worked at KBC Broadcasting's drama department for seven years. Although not yet considered a seasoned professional, his skill was acknowledged, and even some veteran PDs admired his planning and direction. As evidence of his talent, fierce competition often occurred among middle-level PDs to work with PD Yoo during their AD days.

"Writer Choi, it's been more than fifty years since the Korean War ended. Why are there still so many teahouses here? It's not like Busan people still meet at Namhang Market. Most of the tourists here have visited Taejongdae and come to eat. They don't even glance at the coffee, do they?"

"As always, PD Yoo, you're sharp. The teahouses in Namhang Market are not just for selling coffee. They are more like the supportive mothers of the people of Yeongdo."

"Mothers?"

"Teahouses are the first places to open in Namhang Market. Fishermen and day laborers visit them before setting sail. They have their breakfast there, and the traditional tea keeps them warm as a dessert. So, it's no exaggeration to say that the teahouses in Namhang Market provide breakfast for all the fishing boats docking in Yeongdo."

"How do you know all this, Writer Choi?"

"I'm from Yeongdo, and my father was a fisherman."

Choi Eunsuk was a drama writer with five years of experience. However, she had not yet had a successful debut work. Until now, she worked as an assistant writer under a famous writer. In this sense, PD Yoo and Choi Eunsuk had much in common. Both of them were hoping that this project would serve as the turning point in their careers.

"But Writer Choi, is it alright for us to come down here together when the first day of shooting has been decided?"

Typically, drama writers have a time-sensitive job. Unless it's a pre-produced show, the script can be lengthened or shortened depending on the audience's reaction and the broadcaster's influence. Not to mention, they must also adjust the importance of each character in the script. It's no wonder partial scripts were considered a tradition in the drama department.

"It's my debut work. It's like giving birth for the first time; I can't be lazy as the mother. Plus, there are unkind glances questioning whether my debut is too early. If this project fails, it'll cut my career in half."

"I feel more pressured now that you've said that. But don't worry. I won't take this lightly as it's my turning point too. I'll go all-in for this project."

"You seem to have a lot of concerns for someone who claims to go all-in. You were lost in deep thought while checking the casting status on the train down here, weren't you?"

As they strolled through Namhang Market, PD Yoo gave a brief nod.

"Actually, I'm satisfied with all the main actors."

"So, you're not satisfied with the supporting actors?"

"No, it's the child actor that I'm not happy with. The one who's playing the younger version of the protagonist, Kim Hajin. I think his name is Kim Mintae. Writer Choi, you should know him too. He's the kid who played a role in the drama The Age of Immortality, written by the famous Writer Wang."

"Isn't that child quite a good actor? I remember the Writer Wang praised his performance several times after watching the broadcast."

PD Yoo licked his dry lips.

"Among his peers, he's one of the better child actors. But his accent doesn't sit well with me. It feels like he's wearing clothes that don't fit. He's supposed to portray the rough childhood of a man born and raised in Busan, but it's difficult for a kid from Seoul to express that. I understand the limitations."

PD Yoo recalled the audition of child actor Kim Mintae. Just in case, they prepared a dead fish for him to interact with. However, not only was he startled when touching the fish, but his awkward accent made his performance even worse. The problem was that there were no alternatives. The child actors who auditioned in Seoul were all unsuitable for the role. It became a matter of choosing the lesser evil rather than the best option.

It was then.

"Hey, you over there! You've got a pretty face, why not come and check out our fish? The mackerel are so plump today that the fishermen thought they caught sharks! I'll give you a generous discount!"

Seemingly not yet past puberty, a youthful voice rang out powerfully between the long rows of fish stands at Namhang Market. The enunciation and vocalization were so precise that the thick accents of Busan ajummas felt like background music akin to gentle waves. Captivated, PD Yoo and Choi Eunsuk quickly headed in the direction of the voice.

"Sir, take a look at our flounders! They're tastier than what you'd eat at a sushi restaurant. If you buy this today, your girlfriend will be over the moon. I'll also pack a few good-sized mackerels for you. Don't just glance over them, take a closer look. You need to examine it closely to know if it's a good catch!"

"Oh my, I'm turning 40 the day after tomorrow, but how can I resist buying from someone as adorable as my son?"

"Hahaha, you think I'm your girlfriend?! Kid, you sure know how to do business!"

How could someone be so naturally charming while talking to a middle-aged man with a protruding belly? The boy looked very young, perhaps a middle school student. But there was power in his voice. Enthralled by his gestures and vocalization, passing tourists moved closer, and even the surrounding ajummas looked on with satisfaction. The woman next to the boy, presumably his mother, seemed overwhelmed by the influx of customers as she busily prepared the fish. At that moment, PD Yoo and Choi Eunsuk locked eyes in midair.

"We found him!"


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