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68.18% The Circus Doll / Chapter 15: Ended

บท 15: Ended

I made the decision to go for a stroll, so I got out of my tent and the first thing I saw was Claude smoking a cigarette outside of his tent while he was shirtless.

I'm going to suppose that he noticed the fools outside his tent while he was having fun with a good buddy of mine because he has an even angrier frown on his face now than he did before.

I spin around and start walking in the opposite direction, but within a few steps, I'm stopped, twisted around, and someone is pressing their hand against the back of my head while I'm pressed up against my chest.

"I'm sorry, Doll, but I had to, or else she would have left."

The cigarette smoke helps me identify the person who is speaking to me. I don't believe what he is saying; he's just trying to make me feel better, but he's just a... Prevaricator. I don't believe what he is saying.

Nothing else but the fact that he is pushy and a liar can adequately characterize him; he is as sexy as heck.

I am beginning to back away. I tell him, "I'm going for a walk," and then I turn around and start walking away from him. Only seldom do I find myself wishing I was a part of a different circus.

As I make my way down the muddy road, it's pretty early and dark outside, and there are eerie night noises and the sound of bushes being ruffled by the wind.

I walk past a single light pole, and it is at that moment that I notice a shadow that is not mine.

It casts a shadow that is much larger. I decide to go back, but as I turn around, I run into someone. "Well, you sure are a puny little thing, aren't you?" The man cocks his head to the side.

I move farther away. I apologize for running into you and explain that I was simply making my way back home. "Sorry for bumping into you!"

"Are you alright? "Have you been crying? Because it looks like you have," he asks. I can only make out the outline of his face.

How is he able to view mine?

My gut tells me there's something fishy about this dude. "I take it that your name is Doll? From the Circus, which is located a block away from here?"

"Y-Yeah," I stutter out.

The question that he asks is, "What is your actual name?" "I usually just go by Doll, no one really knows my main name," I add in a pleasant tone of voice.

"I will try... I say to the crew, "Get going now; I'll be late for the little meeting we have after every show" but I know that is a lie.

"Maybe one day you could come to check out my Circus, we are much more polite to the performers, much more gentle, and it's fine making mistakes because we learn from them," he says while slipping his hands into his pockets.

I then inquired, "And... What is your name?" "Elijah, I am the Ringmaster of my Circus, and I just visited yours only twenty minutes ago," he tells him.

Is that the reason Claude was so aggravated?

"I would love for you to join my Circus but your Ringmaster doesn't like the sound of it, but I would like for you to check it out so that you can make that choice," he says. "I would love for you to join my Circus but your Ringmaster doesn't like the sound of it."

I turn around and ask, "Why... "Did you creep up behind me?"

"Please accept my apologies. I'm sorry if I startled you earlier; all I wanted to say was that I think it would be incredibly fun if someone like you worked at my circus. And I'd never sleep with a performer to make them stay or forgive me if I did wrong," he continues, his hand laying on my cheek as he speaks. "And I'd never sleep with a performer to make them stay or forgive me."

I can make out more of his features as the moon rises higher into the night, and although he seems somewhat familiar, I can only just barely make out his features.

Therefore, he either overheard the boys talking about Claude and Ana or he himself heard what they said about them.

"He's a jerk to you, and you put up with it even though you know it's wrong because you're head over heels in love with him... Is what I'm saying correct?" he asks.

My eyes are tearing up. I am fully aware of the fact that he is correct, but I am powerless to stop myself.

"You are wrong," I tell you. "I am confident that I am in the right." I've seen it, I go to most of your shows, and I communicate with Claude practically constantly. Based on your body language and the way you stare at him, there is no question that he sexualizes you to an extreme degree and utilizes you to attract clients.

"Now, Doll, tell me if being used is what you really want because he beats you and over sexualises you and makes you think he loves you but then gives another woman attention. If I said I loved you but then went ahead and had sex with another woman right after saying that, I would be ashamed of myself."

I respond by saying, "He's never told me that he loves me." "He merely looks at me for a moment and then continues as if nothing has happened."

"You are out here because he caused you pain, is that correct?" He tells her, "I know you wish you were Anastasia, but he appears to be more fond of her than he is of you."

My chest tightens up. "Why do you think he hasn't gone further with you? If he desired you, he wouldn't have had sex with her. Why do you think he hasn't? They say those things to you so you don't get wounded, so they lie to you." "Those girls have lied to you many times about their encounters with him. They say those things to you so you don't get hurt."

"And why on earth am I supposed to believe you?" I ask.

"I've heard it myself, those girls talking about how they don't want to hurt you," he continues. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"I've never seen you in my life," I tell him. "I'm serious." He brings greater light to the situation. Oh, my heavens! "Declan! Why are you being dishonest with me? I am yelling.

"I'm not, all is the truth, my name isn't Declan, it is Elijah I am a Ringmaster of my own Circus why do you think I'm rarely here to do trapeze with Anastasia?" "I am a Ringmaster of my own Circus. Why do you think I'm rarely here to do trapeze with Anastasia?"

I tell you, "You lied to everyone," and I mean it.

"No Claude knows I lost a deal nearly ten years ago, and whenever Diego can't do trapeze with Ana I have to do it," he says. "No Claude knows I lost a deal nearly ten years ago."

He says, "The part you are going to hate the most is that Ana and Claude are together and have been for about two years now."

"The part you are going to hate the most is that Ana and Claude are together."

"You must be wrong, why would he touch me and kiss me he kissed me today," I repeat to myself. "Why would he kiss me today?"

"They don't want anyone else to know so that you girls won't hesitate to allow him to make you forgive him," he continues.

"That doesn't make sense," I think to myself. "Come on, I'll show you then," he says as he grabs my hand and begins to take me back to the Circus. "C'mon," he continues. "I'll show you."

"I can't stand seeing him constantly hurt you, any of the girls, he's a manipulative dick and I'm sure he's giving Ana more attention because she's the one ready to leave," he adds. "I can't stand seeing him constantly hurt you, any of the girls."

When I say, "You are hurting my wrist," he immediately lets go of my wrist. "I'm sorry, but come on."

I stick close to him as we make our way towards the Circus. When we get to the tent, Claude is still standing outside, but this time his hair is wet, and it appears as though some kind of milk drink thing is all over him. He also has a cigarette in his hand.

He is frowning quite deeply right now. "There you are, I was beginning to get a queasy feeling," He wipes his face and glares at the person whose name he doesn't know.

I offer him a look that indicates my confusion. "What the heck happened to you?" I ask.

"Anastasia," he frowns even more deeply.

"Why-" because he's a jerk in the first place! From inside her tent, Ana yells.

"No, because I broke things off with her, so now I'm a dick," he says. "No, because I ended things with her so now I'm a dick."

My question is, "Has everything ended?" "Her contract with me is no longer valid, so she's leaving tomorrow because I told her to," he continues. "I told her to."

"Why?"

"Because she's just as much of a slut as I am a dick," he says as he exhales the last of his smoke while simultaneously blowing out a puff. "We reached an agreement on something, but she betrayed our trust by engaging in prostitution."


บท 16: Lying

She told everyone else goodbye except me. I got nothing but a mean look. Well, she didn't say goodbye to Claude in a nice way. Instead, she made fun of him, stuck her finger up at him, and got into her car.

I didn't really ask her why she was mad at me, but I think Claude was behind me at the time, so maybe that was why.

I'm in the big tent right now talking about Ana's leaving. So quickly, it happened.

I've been thinking about what Elijah, sorry, Dee, said. I don't really talk to people outside of the Circus, even other Circus artists from other Circuses. I don't know why, but I don't like having a lot of conversations.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt to go to a different Circus.

Claudius did say that we could be replaced quickly.

Tonight, I'll go to Elijah's Circus because they have a show. I've thought about changing, but I'm not sure yet.

I like the Circus I'm at, but I don't know anything else about it.

"What's up with the sad face?" Claude asks if he can come into my personal space. I move away as his hands move toward my waist.

He looks at me in a way I've never seen him do before.

"It's no wonder she left; why didn't you tell us you had been together for two years?" I slightly raise my voice and ask.

"She was the one who wanted to keep us a secret. She told me to flirt with you girls and do other things to keep people from finding out about us. But instead of staying with the Circus people, she went out to be a slut, which I found out last night when she broke up with me because she found someone else."

"Did you ever think that maybe you were too close to us girls?"

It hurts to find out that all of his flirting and shitting was a show.

"No, because that's how she wanted me to act around you girls.

She didn't want anyone to suspect anything, but we never went too far like having sex with someone else. But she made me fuck Melissa that one time because she said the Circus was more important. We wouldn't even do foreplay with anyone else," he says.

I tell him, "You were letting me suck your dick on the train."

"That's because I wanted you, and she knew that, but she made me feel fucking bad when I said it, so we got together four months after you came here because I realized how disgusting I sounded because you were seventeen," he says.

I plug up my ears. "You always, always, always, always lie. Just leave my tent. I don't want to see you unless we are working."

He says, "We have practice tonight." "I'm not going to Elijah's Circus because one of the girls who does tricks like mine wants to teach me a few things."

The look on his face is tense.

"No, you're not... Are you going? He asks, "Like leaving this Circus?"

"I don't know yet," I tell them. He says, "I can be nicer..." "I don't want to change," I tell him as I walk by.

"Well, then, what is it?" He says. "I'm going to watch them no matter what, so don't try to stop me. I rarely talk to anyone because I'm always here sleeping, practicing, eating, or acting."

"Tell me what you still want to change around here," he says.

When I turn around, he almost hits me. "It's a lie. I can't stand how you always act," I tell him as I walk away from him again.

"So you got all dressed up to go see Elijah's Circus because he said a few rude things to you? That made it look like I was worse than him? He may seem nice, but because he is friendly, he is a worse liar. He tells you what you want to hear so he can control you.

"Well, if that's true, I don't belong in any Circus because I don't like using liars like you," I say.

I was kind of ready for a hard slap in the face by now.

It hasn't happened yet.

"Then, where would you go?" He says. "I'd go anywhere but here. Whether you like it or not, I'm going to Elijah's Circus tonight. I don't want to be lied to or controlled anymore," I say.

"Now that Ana has left, I won't have to lie to you," he says, looking like he's going to get down on his knees and beg, which I kind of want to see.

"Are you coming back? Because if you go to his Circus, I might as well tell you to pack your bags, because yeah, he has a whole stadium for a Circus, he has over 400 Performers while I only have fifty, he can give you a mansion to yourself if you ask him, and as soon as you step into his ring, you're going to want to stay there because all I have is what I have."

I shake my head, and then I smile... I'm laughing. I'm sad. "You think I'd leave because he can give me more? Claudius, I want to leave because I'm tired of all the lies, and it's not because I'm selfish. I wouldn't leave because he can give me more. You gave me so much when I lost everything, and he wants me to act at his Circus.

"I want to leave not because of what he said to me but because I want to leave."

Just by standing there, he looks weak.

"Then leave... "You'll come crawling back, and I'll have to say, 'I told you so,'" he says, and then he walks away. "Like I've told you before, you're easy to replace."

I cough. "Okay, I'll go," I say. I tell them not to worry about packing my things because I'm sure Elijah can replace them. Then I leave the Circus area.


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