บท 64: Squirrels in the Mesh
In a house somewhat secluded from the nearest city, a cocoon of shadows emerged from the ground right in front of the entrance, silently depositing the figure it carried. The tall figure rang the doorbell, and moments later, the door opened to reveal a woman with a worried expression.
"Thank you for coming so quickly, Barnaby. I know things aren't exactly calm at Hogwarts right now," Andromeda said gratefully when she saw her daughter's boyfriend arrive, just minutes after she had sent him a letter explaining how Tonks was doing. "Not since my cousin escaped from Azkaban…" she added in a quieter tone.
"It's nothing, Andromeda. I think I'm partly to blame for the situation, as I was the one who wrote to her about what happened," Barnaby shook his head as he entered the house with her permission, directing his gaze up the stairs. "Is she still locked in her room?"
"Yes, she hasn't even touched dinner," Andromeda sighed as she gestured with her hand toward the plates that had gone cold on the table.
"And Ted?" Barnaby didn't see Tonks' father anywhere in the house.
"He's working on a case at his law firm, and I didn't want to disturb him. He's been stressed out for days, and I don't want to make it worse," Andromeda explained.
Barnaby was thoughtful for a moment; he needed to approach the situation carefully.
"Sanshi, go see her while I heat up the food."
Barnaby's shadow detached from the floor and glided up the stairs, slipping silently under Tonks' door.
"Was that your familiar?" Andromeda asked, aware from her daughter that Barnaby had found a familiar, but she hadn't seen it in person until now.
"Yes, I'll introduce you to her later if there's a chance," Barnaby said, levitating the plates and carrying them to the kitchen to heat them up and place them on a tray. He then ascended the stairs while Andromeda stayed downstairs, hands clasped, hoping he could cheer up her daughter.
Barnaby knocked on the door with his knuckles.
"Tonks, it's me. Can I come in?"
Silence stretched on for a long minute before a quiet response came, and the door opened, allowing him to enter.
Tonks' room was as he remembered it, with posters of her favorite bands on the walls above her desk, a display case with a commemorative Quaffle signed by one of her favorite teams, a large plushie that suspiciously resembled him next to a mahogany wardrobe, and the spot where Tonks was lying face down on her bed with a Hufflepuff-themed blanket.
Sanshi was kneeling by the bed, patting Tonks' back, saddened by how she found her.
Barnaby set the tray of food on the desk and approached, sitting on the bed next to Tonks, right at the opposite end from where Sanshi was. He took the witch's hand and waited in silence for Tonks to start talking.
She didn't need someone to tell her what to do, just someone she could vent to and release all her confusion.
Tonks remained silent for a long time, but whether it was the company, the pats on her back, or the warmth of his hand, she finally parted her lips, even though her face was still pressed against the mattress.
"The Ministry doesn't plan on doing anything," she said, her voice slightly muffled by her position. "They don't plan to punish the Dementors, apologize for what happened, take precautions to prevent it from happening again, nothing at all. They didn't care that a child died, just because she wasn't human. No…" Tonks corrected herself, "because she wasn't a witch."
Tonks squeezed Barnaby's hand tightly.
"I'm not stupid. I know the world isn't black and white, and everything is always more complicated than it should be," she continued. "I grew up hearing stories about how terrible dark wizards are, I've lived through the discrimination from so-called 'pure-blood' wizards, I've studied the discrimination that other sentient races suffered, I was almost manipulated by that old goat, and what I've seen in my Auror training is enough to make that clear. Everything always has a shade of gray, in different degrees."
Tonks' other hand joined his.
"But precisely because I know that, I thought I could help make a difference," she said, raising her voice a bit. "Help find a husband's killer, catch a child's kidnapper, imprison a magical creature trafficker, and stop dark wizards.
"Make sure more and more people can live without fear, that everyone can seek justice for the wrongs done to them, that there are no cover-ups for abuse of power, eliminate bribery, that people have someone to turn to safely without worrying about threats…"
Tonks' hands were squeezing so tightly they began to tremble.
"But after joining the Ministry, I found out that even if I spend months of effort catching a criminal, they only need to use a few favors and Galleons to walk away with their case dismissed and their record wiped," Tonks explained. "Do you know how many of the ones we caught early on ended up in Azkaban? Less than two out of ten."
"When I was starting to get depressed, I got to know people like Amelia Bones or Moody better," Tonks sat up on the bed, resting her head on Barnaby's arm without letting go of his hands. "I thought I'd found more people like me, willing to change things little by little, eliminating problems at the root. Yes, the pure-blood families are a nuisance, and the politics along with the paperwork are a pain, but with our combined efforts, we started locking up more people."
Barnaby ignored the dampness on his arm as he continued listening, acting like an immovable rock in the middle of a hurricane of turbulent emotions.
"But the Ministry of Magic doesn't even care about the death of a child. The ones I thought would act when others wouldn't just lower their heads in silence…" Tonks lifted her tear-swollen red eyes to meet Barnaby's. "I… I don't know if I want to be in a Ministry like that. I don't know if I can."
"Then you just need to make a decision," Barnaby spoke for the first time since entering the room. "Compared to when you graduated, you're more knowledgeable now and you know how the Ministry really operates after these years. Reflect on whether you think your ideals can align with theirs, and you'll find your answer in your heart."
Barnaby lifted his arm and wrapped it around Tonks' shoulders, pulling her closer to him.
"No matter what you decide, remember that your family will always be on your side."
"…And you?" Tonks was worried when he didn't mention himself.
"Hey! I'm offended by the doubt," Barnaby exclaimed with a mock-hurt expression, clutching his chest. "When haven't I been by your side? And don't forget about Sanshi."
Tonks stared at him for a second, surprised, and then began to laugh as more tears streamed from her eyes, feeling warm inside.
Indeed, when had her boyfriend not been by her side?
"He did it," Andromeda heard the laughter from downstairs and felt her heart lighten. "He's a good boy. I hope he can keep supporting my girl."
After the moment of laughter passed, Tonks took the handkerchief Sanshi offered to wipe her face and made a decision that had long been in the depths of her heart.
"I don't want to stay with people like that, but…" she hesitated in the next moment, "if I'm not going to be an Auror, I don't know what to do instead. I've spent years training for this."
"With the qualifications needed to be an Auror, finding a job will be the least of your worries. Even if you don't find anything you like, I've got a few ideas in mind," Barnaby assured her, successfully comforting her. "In any case, I think you must be hungry. How about we have dinner?"
Tonks looked at the tray of food on the desk, feeling her stomach protest from lack of nutrients, but she shook her head.
"I think we'd better go downstairs," Tonks concluded as she got up from the bed and pulled Barnaby's arm to follow her. "My mother is probably still worried, and I don't think there's enough food on the tray for the three of us."
"What are you talking about?" Barnaby stood up and patted his abdomen twice. "I eat less than a squirrel!"
"It must be a huge squirrel," Sanshi commented, laughing as she also left the room behind the two of them, happy that everything had been resolved.
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